I’m going to preface this by saying that these are things I’ve had to do for myself because they are what affect me personally. I’m in no way judging you if you do or consume these types of things; they simply detract from what is true, good, and beautiful for me.
Remember when I said I had close to 11k photos on my phone? After weeks of deleting, I’m down to 681. This isn’t the final count as I’m going to wait until I print photos for a photo album but this is the number after deleting so many other pictures. I won’t be deleting more until after I print the remaining ones but, goodness, that’s about 94% of what I started off with, gone. Yes, I did the math because “nerd!” lol.
It still boggles my mind that I had all that clutter just in the photos folder. I haven’t even tackled the files folder where all those new audiobooks (the monthly $5 audiobook sales on TAN Books are deadly for my wallet) are waiting for me. Once I listen to them, I’ll delete the downloads; I’ve uploaded the files on an online cloud for safe keeping.
The digital clutter will be more overwhelming to tackle because I don’t have many physical things. Books are probably my biggest collection of things I’m paring down. Big bookworm over here. I have a ton of books I’ll never need or be able to read again so I’ll find nice homes for those books with friends first and then my parish family and lastly the local library if no one else wants whatever is left over. Clothes? I tend to only have what I need and I’ll wear them until they’re worn thin or no longer fit. I don’t have much else after that simply because I don’t like physical clutter.
As I mentioned in the previous post, I’m going to talk about the reasoning behind this from a different side than what I’d previously written.
See, it started during that intense 5-months-long journey through the spiritual desert that only ended right before Lent of this year. I found myself being unable to concentrate in prayer (though I had a little 33-day break when I did both the Marian consecration and Divine Mercy consecration renewals leading up to my Benedictine Oblation renewal). I just went through the motions and tried to distract myself when I wasn’t praying the Divine Office or the Rosary. I had so many ugly, intrusive thoughts that were bombarding my mind all the time; things that made me question my vocation and even my faith. I was also going through a health relapse so distractions became my thing.
I worked on novel four at the time and immersed myself in the research. The only big spoiler I can give is that music plays a big part in the plot of the novel. I spent most of my free time learning more from those in the music industry, observing them and taking notes. I started listening to the one broad genre I had never really liked but the one in which all those I was spending time with were involved in: Latin Pop.
I thought I was in a smarter place than I was in my pre-reversion days; that I would be more immune to some of the pitfalls. Oh, how wrong I was. While it’s true that I was able to come out of the the experience less traumatized than I did in my pre-reversion days, i didn’t come out of it unscathed… and my spiritual life took the beating.
The people? Very nice, lovely people… who are very steeped in worldly things and some were (as i later found out) dabbling in the occult. Before i get into that big problem , let me just say that I don’t know why i never liked Latin pop… or music in Spanish in general.
I mean, I’m Hispanic; Mexican-American with Spanish ancestry. Spanish was technically my first language because my parents didn’t speak much English when I was a baby but I did grow up being bilingual and started learning English even before I went to kindergarten. Even though I did hear music in Spanish growing up — and I did gravitate towards the Spanish and classical guitar — I was simply never into music in Spanish. I was never really big into Mexican culture either. I learned how to dance folkloric dances (like this: https://youtu.be/-x0vKSO29N4). I love a good Cantinflas movie. I love the food (lol). Otherwise, I just never really felt connected to my Mexican (or Spanish) roots. I didn’t like the films that weren’t in black and white. I really didn’t like the music that wasn’t from the early 1960s and earlier (“Cien años” by Pedro Infante, anyone?; https://youtu.be/DMrWB0L4Ti8). So I was surprised when I not only started listening to modern Latin pop… but also liking it.
Now, I still don’t like it all. This remains a “no reggaetón” household because the lyrics and the dances tend to be vulgar. I’m sorry it that offends anyone but it’s the truth. There’s nothing chaste or modest in the lyrics or the culture. But I did find myself like some of the artists and songs in the broad Latin pop genre. The more time I spent with the musicians making this music, the more I like the songs… and probably because of the people. And I think it was because of who the people were away from the music that I overlooked the content in the music.
To be fair, I’ve always been the type of person who listens to the music (melody) first and doesn’t pay attention to the songs until much, much later. I also don’t get the double entendres right away. My mind just doesn’t automatically jump to that until either someone points it out or until I’ve paid attention to the lyrics long enough to “get” it. I have a very “innocent mind” that way and I’m okay with that. It wasn’t any different with these songs.
I started getting into songs I would use for my vocal exercises. I had my duetting partners who had amazing voices that both humbled me and left me in awe. Most of the songs were in English and the content wasn’t problematic but being introduced to other music by the artists I was spending time with was. I mean, it took me a solid 3 months to figure out that “Formentera” by Aitana and Nicki Nicole was a song talking about the marital act outside of marriage. I liked the melody so I paid attention to that. Then the lyrics came and… big fat NOPE. Is it embarrassing to admit that it took me that long to pay attention to super obvious lyrics that were straightforward in their content? Yes, but, again, that’s just how my mind has always worked.
And it was like that across the board with all the other songs. I was shocked with how immodest the majority of contemporary Latin pop is. And it’s not simply Latin pop. It’s the majority of the music… and the movies… and the shows… out today. In fact, popular culture keeps churning out content that gets worse and worse.
But the people! The people are still very nice… but they are dabbling in things that are not compatible with the faith. The girlfriend of my male duet partner — who is also a musician — started talking about how she uses numerology and a psychic to help her career. The female duet partner I had became vocal about her support for abortion “rights” and other things contrary to the faith. An artist I admired who spoke openly about his Christian faith was also doing a lot of things tied to Hinduism and other occult practices that are trendy but open doors to the demonic. His wife even got a “belly blessing” from a “henna witch” to “bless” the baby in her womb (now a few months old). This is not me passing judgment on them as people but it made me keenly aware of how one thing fed the other.
So what came first, the chicken or the egg? The music and the content being made that led to more occult practices or the occult practices that led to the music being produced? I don’t know. I can’t speak for them. I idn’t even stick around much longer after my eyes were open to find out. All I know is that, for me, it was the external affecting the interior… and what caused me to be plumged into that spiritual desert.
The music i was listening to was influencing the way the storyline in book 4 was heading… and I hated it. The people I was spending time with although nice in many ways were unintentionally pushing me further away from the true, good, and beautiful. When I saw the correlation between the two, I knew I had to distance myself from it… which led to the great purge.
I want to get rid of everything that could potentially trigger another one of these big “spiritual relapses” in me. Again, this is something that I’m doing for myself. I know my limits. I know what can and cannot affect me and how, though I’m constantly learning more on this front. Obviously. I want to be even more vigilant about the media I consume because I’ve seen just how “one little thing” can do a lot of damage.
The getting rid of photos was also important for me because I still have/had a lot of physical memories of my pre-reversion days. A lot of pictures with celebrities and from various places with various people who would impress those who embrace the celebrity culture but don’t know just how incredibly shallow and empty it all truly is.
So, back to listening to mostly instrumental music (and trying to give Opera a chance) and podcasts like Poco a Poco by the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal on Spotify. Back to classic literature, unproblematic non-fiction, and whatever fiction books are vetted by people I trust to steer me in the right direction. Back to taking a break from places — like Instagram — which will be time-wasters that also double as temptations to consume more for the sake of knowing and feeding my natural curiosity.
Anyway, I think that’s all I can say about this topic before I start repeating myself.
It was 98 degrees (“but it feels like 101”) when I checked the weather half an hour ago so I’m going to try to rest in the darkened living room, with the central AC on, a fan placed in my direction, and the “Rain Rain” app playing the “Forest Rain” sound so I can pretend it’s cooler than the 83 degrees it is inside the apartment. Did I mention that’s with the central AC and a fan on at the same time? Yes, it’s that hot! It’s Ember Friday so no Classical music for me or else I’d probably have that on as well.
I hope you’re all doing well.
As always, thanks for reading and God bless!
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