Opposing Views: Ethical Clothing, Femininity, the Environment, and Catholicism

All the time away from social media and reading books (lots and lots of books; 26 so far this year -- as of this post -- according to my Goodreads' Reading Challenge tracker) has given me time to think. Really think. There were a lot of things that had been rattling around in my head for months (possibly a year) but it hasn't been until now that I've been able to sort through them. And you know what? I've come to the frustrating conclusion that I've let too much of "the world's" voice dictate what I believe and/or want to do. Furthermore, it's not just "the world" but also the Catholic world on social media that has had an influence on me... possibly a terrible one.

I love you all but, golly, it seems like one can't express ourselves and our ideas without someone jumping down our throats because of an opposing idea/belief. I see it most clearly when it comes to three certain areas: preferences in entertainment (which I wrote about recently), preferences in Mass, and how we view the world and our contribution to making it better. I won't touch on the first two but that last one is what this post is about. This is something I've been wanting to write for a long time, too.

A few months (a year?) ago, I became interested in ethical clothing and "slow fashion" after watching The True Cost on Netflix. (quick side note: Guys, don't tune me out yet. I promise this post isn't about only clothes in a "girly" fashion. Pun unintended.) The documentary was recommended by Claire of Finding Philothea and it's changed my worldview... and my shopping habits.

Now, I was never been big on fashion. I grew up a tomboy so I was all jeans and tees for a long time. As I've gotten older and I've gotten more in tune with my preferences (spoiler alert: I actually love wearing skirts and dresses way more than pants; I wore pants as a sign of rebellion in my youth -- long story), the more I've been wanting to slowly revamp my style. Of course, there are unlimited choices and the trends change a lot. Thankfully, I've always been pretty "old fashioned" in my fashion preferences (the "lost years" of pants only notwithstanding) so the trends don't affect me.

Around the time I started looking into purchasing more skirts and dresses to replace my jeans (which I cannot wait to get rid of), there were four factors that started to change my POV.

First, I re-read the Madame Chic books by Jennifer L. Scott, who is currently my favorite nonfiction author and whose Daily Connoisseur vlogs on YouTube are one of my favorite ways to have a little "me" time during an otherwise crazy day.

Second, I started attending the Latin Mass exclusively. This meant following the tradition of ladies wearing skirts and dresses and veiling for Mass. I was already veiling for years before I attended my first Latin Mass -- in fact, my father's last physical gift to me was a veil he got for me in Mexico a couple of months before his death -- but I didn't really start investing in skirts until I began attending our local FSSP parish. And that led to...

Third, I started looking into and really studying what the Church's views on femininity were as opposed to what everyone says. Yes, I wanted to draw my own conclusions, even if they were "wrong" or "antiquated" by other peoples' standards and views. I started by reading Dressing with Dignity by Colleen Hammond and went from there. I still have more things to get through but, wow, loving my research into this area so far.

Finally, fourth, I started following Claire and Emily (of Little Fossi Way) on Instagram because I could see a kindred spirit in them. They posted things that I could relate to; their tastes -- as well as Jennifer's -- are quite similar to mine. Again, I saw that Claire had posted something about The True Cost so I decided to watch it and, wow, mind blown!

I began researching ethical clothing because I felt like I could no longer purchase mass-produced clothing items sold everywhere. I started reading books that Claire would recommend and as well as check out clothing sites that she and Emily would suggest. I started seeing the differences between cheaply made clothing and those that are worth investing in. I also became interested in sewing my own clothes and I do plan on doing it... as soon as I can save up for a sewing machine (which is my second top priority, after saving up enough for my oblate trip this summer).

Buying ethical clothing is not cheap because you're essentially paying for clothing made by the hands (with the helping of sewing machines and needles) of workers who are not only ethically treated but also paid well. Also, I started looking for clothing companies that don't impact the environment in a way that mass manufacturers do. (I'll get to this point in a second.) While it's going to take a long time for me to build up my wardrobe -- I'm only replacing things as they get worn out due to budget constraints -- it's something I've become very interested in.

I took everything -- what I was learning, what the Church taught, and what others' opinions were -- and I got overwhelmed. Mostly, I would encounter the strangest opposing views.

I got applauded for embracing my own femininity (not easy after years of being a tomboy; I do have 5 older brothers, after all) though that came with controversy. Anything that was deemed "too girly" was attacked. I like pink and girly things?! I have no problem expressing my maternal side?! How dare I?! My clothing changes were also welcomed by the more "traditional" minded but, boy, the "don't be stupid! pants are fine!" folks sure had an issue with my own personal preference to transition to mostly skirts and dresses. (side note: sweats are a lifesaver at 4 a.m. on winter days when this lady, whose body begins to physically hurt and shut down in the cold, has to drive her mom to work.) I won't get further into this topic (for now) but you get the gist.

It was cool that I wanted to make my own clothes or even buy ethical fashion, but even the slightest hint of the word "ethical" or "environment" would send people in the Catholic world on long rants about how that's a "hippy" view that is incompatible with Church teachings. (spoiler alert: it's not.)

It was especially evident when I would say that I was starting to live a "greener" life, eschewing chemicals for the sake of my health (and I have noticed major improvements) and doing my little bit to keep this beautiful world God has given us from being polluted. I even had a friend say that he purposely turned on all the lights on Earth Hour and used styrofoam and other things that were frowned upon by environmentalists in order to "stick it to them." Yes, he's Catholic as well.

There are some in Catholic circles that have a "If Pope Francis champions it, I'll do the opposite" mentality. Since Pope Francis is big on the environment, other people will trash him and his efforts to keep our planet clean because they don't like his words and beliefs on other areas of the faith (e.g. his vagueness in words, his actions, etc). Look, I'm not a massive fan of what he says or does either, but he's still the pope so I do respect him as the vicar of Christ. I'm not going to rebel against everything he says only because he and I don't see eye-to-eye on many other things. On the environment front, I think we may have more in common than I do with other Catholics.

All of this boils down to: I don't understand why there's so much animosity when people express their own views and beliefs. 

I don't feel right about buying clothing from companies that exploit their workers and harm the environment. I also don't feel right about being wasteful or contributing to the destruction of this beautiful earth that God has given us to take care of, but that doesn't make me a "tree-hugging hippie" or a "liberal lemming."

I don't feel like jeans and most other forms of pants fit my own personal preferences any longer but that doesn't mean I'm going to look down on any woman who does.

I keep finding myself gravitating towards what has traditionally been seen as being characteristically feminine -- e.g. being a stay-at-home mom versus being a working mom; cultivating the "womanly arts" of sewing, baking, and being a homemaker -- but that doesn't mean that, like the pants issue, I will look down on others who preferences are different from mine.

I also don't think I should have to apologize for any of these things. And, in fact, I'm not.  If you want to accuse me of "drinking the Kool-Aid," of "being backward," and/or "being wrong," that's fine. This Lenten season I've been learning to let go of what others think of me. Instead, I think about what God may say to me at the end of my life.

Do I want to stand in front of Him and have Him say to me, "You knew that workers were exploited yet you still continued to contribute to the continuation of this..." or  "You didn't listen to your own conscience and you dismissed what you thought would best please Me in order to fit in with and be liked by others"? A big, fat "No!"

So, I'm going to take what I've learned (and what I'll continue to learn), what I feel is the right thing for me to do, and I'll do it. Even if I get ridiculed... even if people stop following me on social media or stop reading these blogs... even if I lose most of my friends because they think there's something wrong with me. I'd rather feel as if I'm doing the right thing in God's eyes. Sure, I will be seeking spiritual advice from our parish priest (whom I like to consult on big issues because the man is wise) just to make sure I'm on the right path but, other than that, I'll take my "opposing views" and stick with them.

Anyway, just something I've been wanting to say for a long time but never had the guts to write until now.

That's it for now. I want to get back to the book I'm currently reading, The Private World of Tasha Tudor by Tasha Tudor and Richard Brown before I reply to a dear friend's snail mail letter. Oh yes, correspondence is occasionally "old school" with friends this Lent. ;)

I hope you're all having a lovely week thus far.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :)

Do You Have a Tsundoku Problem?

I have a problem. A massive problem. It's called tsundoku. "What's that?" you may ask. Apparently it means "buying books and letting them pile up, unread" (or something like that) in Japanese. Does anyone else have that problem?

It's bad. You know what? I'm going to go count how many books are on the living room bookcase and see how many of those I've yet to read/finish. It's 11:03 a.m. right now, let's see how long it takes me...

It's now 11:10 a.m. 7 minutes. In 7 minutes I found out I have 124 books on my small living room bookcase. Of those 124 books, I've not read 49 books. Out of those 49 unread books, 35 are Catholic -- either philosophy, teachings, or saint lives. That means roughly 39.5% of my books have been unread and of those unread books, approximately 71.4% of them are Catholic. Yikes! And, guess what. That doesn't include the books I've checked out from the library or other books I have scattered throughout the apartment. Yes, I have a problem.

I've banned myself from looking at the TAN, Sophia Institute Press, and other Catholic publisher catalogs that arrive in the mail because I always want more... but I have so many books I've yet to read. I've never finished Interior Castle or even The Story of a Soul. Not sure why. Do you know how many books I have on my Amazon wishlist that are Catholic? More than I should. lol. I'm definitely suited for the (lay) Dominican lifestyle... but I can't keep spending money and never reading these books. I think the one sitting on the bookshelf the longest has been there for almost the decade since my reversion and has yet to be read. Tsk, tsk Emmy.

So, new goal for me: try to make it through at least 10 of those books before I return to school in a little over a month. It can be done, especially since I'm pretty much stuck in the house when it's over 85 degrees which has been after 9 a.m. the past couple of days (it's supposed to go up to 109 today).

Does anyone else want to partake in this Tsundoku Challenge? Maybe not 10 books in a month (I have waaaay too much free time these days) but perhaps making a dent in your pile of unread books? I pledge that by August 28th I will have 10 books crossed off my "to read" list. I will even blog about it, whether I did it or not.

I really need to "out" myself with things I need to change because I know some of y'all will keep me accountable. If I keep them to myself, I'll most likely not follow through. Get on my case (if you know me on a personal level)! ;)

Alright, I should probably go do something. Maybe I'll finish one of the books I borrowed from the library... or take myself a snack (spoiler alert: self-care update coming this weekend).

I hope y'all had a lovely week and have a lovelier weekend. I also hope to have something posted tomorrow but we'll see. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

As a Woman, I'm Insulted...

Dear (Most) Writers of Women's Fiction,

As a woman, I'm insulted by the rubbish you've written for us. Though I'm grateful that the LAPL (Los Angeles Public Library) has an excellent selection of eBooks for us who can't keep driving to and from one of the local library branches, your books have made me sorry to have so many options because most of them are terrible and an absolute waste of time.

Now, I'm not dumping on everyone. I've read some decent novels that were hard to put down. Though I might've had some personal issues with the language and a small thing or two because I'm a "prude," but, overall, the characters were relatable and the story was engaging. To you 2% who don't focus on superficial things in novels, massive kudos to you!

As a writer, I understand that it's not easy to write a novel. I wrote (and rewrote) my first novel several times over a period of about 5 years. The second was easier as it was a sequel and I already knew how the story was going to end. I get that sometimes when we write, we think what would appeal best to our intended audience. Sometimes, though, I get a feeling that some of us (and I'm going to exclude myself from this bit) write what we think will sell for the sake of selling, leaving the plotline to suffer as a consequences.

As a woman I'm insulted that you think that all we think about is lustful sex... and clothes... and unrealistic romance in an idealistic world. Yes, we women like romance. Hi, I like Hallmark movies and will cry at the end of some of those movies. However, I'm worried that the way stories are written will have an adverse effect on women in general.

What are the most common plots I've noticed in books I've read lately? Woman wants to reform a man... woman wants a man she can't have... woman is unhappy in her relationship/marriage so she seeks to get her pleasure kicks elsewhere... woman dreams about her dream man and she gets him... woman is obsessed with looking thin and perfect. Do you see where there is a problem in the genre?

How about books of women going through real life struggles with the help of their family and friends? How about a focus on platonic love instead of writing smut? Yes, most of us women thrive when we feel a connection with another person, but it doesn't always have to be dramatic and romantic. How about writing about real issues we women face like how complicated relationships are, about women suffering from infertility, about genuine human connections that inspire us to be better women? Why must the majority of books lead down the smutty road of lustful sex? Newsflash: not all of us like that stuff nor do we live it.

I'm sure there's an audience for these types of books but, if the reviews on Goodreads are any indication, most of us are looking for more than one dimensional characters getting their groove on. We want literary women of substance. We want to read about ordinary women who do extraordinary things against all odds. We want to read about heroines who strive for more than finding the perfect boyfriend/husband, having the perfect wedding, and/or exceed in beauty. Give me a "frumpy looking" character whose mind and heart challenges and inspires readers rather than a beautiful one who is shallow and loathsome.

As a writer I promise to try to write characters that I would've hoped someone else would've written for me, if that makes any sense. I want to challenge my readers. I want to show younger readers that there's more to life than snagging the "hot" and "sexy" guy... more than fitting into the "right" clothes... to looking "perfect"... to being what the world expects me to be like. I'm not saying my books will be likeable to all or even "good," but if I can help combat the crud that is out there, I'll be happy.

Anyway, sorry for this rant, y'all. I just got done with yet another terrible novel (this one had a main character who was in an adulterous relationship for 6 YEARS with a man who clearly wasn't going to leave his wife -- not that he should've -- and kept making excuses to stay with him) and I needed to vent my frustration in long form. It frustrates me because so many of these books have promising ideas behind them and the blurbs are intriguing but the ysimply crash and burn within the first 50 pages.

Any of you ladies have similar thoughts when reading fiction novels, especially those aimed at us? Have any of you read any books that have rich, complex characters that you can recommend? Please let me know; I need stuff to read before bed -- it's how I unwind and it helps me fall asleep. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :)

Childlike Wonder in Grad School

Today is my first day back to grad school (hoorah!) but my class doesn't technically begin until tomorrow so I have time for a quick blog post. ;)

Did y'all have book mobiles growing up? I did. I loved the day the book mobile came to my (public) elementary school. While we had a school library, there was something special about the book mobile. I used to get a thrill out of waiting in line and then trying to come up with at least one book to check-out in the 5-10 minute time limit we got. It was an exciting challenge that led to an even more exciting adventure.

How about catalog cards? Does anyone remember those? I loved having to go to the physical library catalog, look up the author by surname on those little cards, then look for the number where the book was located, and finally try to find the book. It was another fun adventure; a scavenger hunt for great treasure.

This quarter I'm taking a class called Historical Books of the Old Testament. It's about, you guessed it, historical books in the Old Testament. From Joshua to Maccabees, I'm going to be studying them for the next 10 weeks. Of course, there is no obvious connection between the two examples I gave and the course. I mean, besides being about books. However, there is one for me: having this course after a 3.5 month break and having the fruitful Lenten season I had has reminded me of little elementary school Emmy and how I miss a side of myself that I haven't seen in nearly two decades.

What was I like as a child? I loved the faith. I wanted to be a nun when I grew up and I would say that to people. I loved attending Mass; I was mesmerized by it, especially the Consecration. Remember, this is me at like 6-8 years old and I was poorly catechized so I didn't know the real significance of what was happening. I just remember not wanting to miss a single thing the priest did during that part of the Mass. I also loved school. I mean, I loved school. I would cry if my parents made me miss a class (and I only did when I was too sick to attend; yes, I would try to go to school even when I was sick). I loved reading, history, science... I just loved academia.

Sadly, I lost a big part of that love (for both the church and school) when I got older. My parents were Catholics by name only and after my First Communion was done, we basically stopped attending Mass. I was teased for being a "geek" at school. I can pinpoint it to junior high -- 7th grade in particular -- when I started to slack off in my studies. It created horrible habits, including one that I still struggle with: procrastination. A few days ago I remembered how much I loved studying but how I tend to procrastinate because I find other things to do. Okay, fine, I get lost in the world of social media and movies, etc. Procrastination + distractions = rushing to get my coursework done. Yes, I can pull a Rory Gilmore and study like a madwoman but it's usually last minute. Read: stress levels through the roof most of the time.

Since I have done some great progress in my recovery (no longer underweight, eating, and sleeping better), I decided to do channel little Emmy and get back into that academic groove I used to be known for. It doesn't hurt that I'm combining two things I loved as a child: the faith and academia. Hooray for Biblical Theology graduate studies! lol. I know it won't be easy or even the same since I'm now older and (obviously) using different tools (i.e. internet, computers) that I didn't have back then but I think this will help me this quarter.

I've been doing the Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati novena (his birthday is coming up on Wednesday) and I've been asking him to intercede for me in regards to distractions (which result in procrastination) and lack of concentration. My concentration is shot even when I'm doing something simple; that bad. I think I have the tools necessary to curve the social media distractions (hello, Lenten practice!) and I think I've figured out times when I'd be able to get the most out of my studies (read: quiet times in an apartment building) but I still need that extra help so Bl. Pier Giorgio is getting bugged now and the Holy Spirit will get bugged afterward. lol.

I wonder if my plan to have a childlike wonder in grad school will help. When I was younger, I'd ask questions about something I didn't understand or wanted to know more about because I was curious. I stopped because of the teasing and because I didn't want people to think I was dumb. Nowadays, I don't really care too much about looking dumb so I ask. I'm going to try it again. I hope that between this state of mind, the toolbox for studying I've created (classical music and/or Gregorian chants, Pomodoro technique app, specific schedule, etc), and reminding myself of what my goal is (graduating in two years with knowledge to help others learn more about the Church) I will do well. Maybe I'll even treat myself to trips to the library every now and then to check-out physical books as rewards for a good exam or a good week. Yes, I'm enough of a "geek" to really see that as a gift to myself. ;)

Anyway, I don't know why I wanted to share this... I just did. ;) Maybe it's the excitement of starting classes again. Perhaps it's a way to remind myself and keep myself accountable. Both? We shall see. :D

Alright, I'm trying to get to bed as early as 10 p.m. (seriously) so I can get enough sleep and then get up early to study for the first class begins. Technically we online students aren't getting the lecture video until Wednesday, I believe, but I want to get as much done (read: get ahead a little if I'm able to) as I can. I want to savor everything and since it is just one course this quarter, I think I may have the luxury to do just that. I don't want to be rushing through the reading last minute like I have been doing for years. Yes, years. Don't try this (procrastinating) at home... not even you professionals. ;)

I hope those of you who are also starting their quarters have a great quarter. For those of you about to do your finals, good luck! I'll be praying for all you students. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Why I'm Throwing Away My Meg Cabot Books

Once upon a time, a 16 year-old Emmy went to see The Princess Diaries on the big screen. Though she never dreamed about being a princess (no, she grew up a tomboy and dreamed about playing soccer), she loved the story. So she started reading and collecting the novels written by Meg Cabot. She was away from the Church, educated in liberal Los Angeles public schools, and was never properly catechized so she read the books focusing on the love story between Mia and Michael. 


When the author (Meg Cabot) got a website and started giving advice to young women when she (Emmy) was 19 and 20, she thought it was great. She continued to read the books even after her reversion. She felt she had invested enough time to see where the series ended. So she got to the last book in the series at age 29... and felt like she had wasted her valuable time. 

At 30, when the Great Book Purge began, she remembered those words a close friend said to her the last time she considered throwing the books away: "But you have the complete series! Don't you want to pass them along to your daughters when they grow up?" The answer this time was a big fat "NO!" So she decided to write a blog post about this topic and here she is now.

Can I stop speaking in third person? Phew! lol. But, really, all of that is true. I did watch the movie based on the series and I did love it. In fact, I still occasionally watch it and its sequel which is nothing like the book. Disney made the films so of course it's a lot cleaner than the books. However, as much as I loved the books as a teenager into my early 20s, I can't say the same anymore.

I've been re-reading the books in the series because I decided to throw them away. No, I'm not even donating them. They're going in the trash bin. The reason I decided to re-read them was because I honestly forgot how the series began. I thought "well, maybe I could keep a book or two for my future daughters" but after going through the first 5 of the 10 (the 11th book is the first and only adult book in the series and it was pretty explicit), I've decided to stop reading them because they just keep on getting worse and worse. My friend's words keep replaying in my mind: "But you have the complete series! Don't you want to pass them along to your daughters when they grew up?" The answer still is: NO!

If you haven't read the series and are wondering if I'd recommend them, well, you can guess what the answer is. If you want to know why, please keep reading. If you're a fan of the series and are having an issue with my objections -- or are planning on reading the series for yourself and don't want any spoilers -- please stop reading because I'm about to give away major spoilers and, yes, I'm going to say why I don't like them.

Re-reading the books from a Catholic point of view, especially as an older person (I don't know if 30 is still considered young adult despite looking and feeling younger than my years), I just couldn't stop objecting to the topics in the series. The deeper I got into the series, the more disturbed I became. 

Mia loves to obsess over her love interests. "Well, all teenage girls do that," you may argue. Not like Mia. She bemoans how her first crush mentioned doesn't sexually harass her. When he turns out to be a cad, she moves onto someone else and then obsesses over him... for the rest of the series. Sure, she dates other guys since they do break up before getting back and staying together, but it's almost always just about Michael. You know how Twilight's Bella Swan is obsessed over Edward "I Spark, I Brood" Cullen? Almost that bad. It's just not a healthy way to look at romance. It's more about how she feels and what would make her (and her hormones) happy. Sure, her friends do try to snap her out of it in their own ways, but Mia's so consumed in her love/lust for Michael that it takes a while for her to see that there's more to life than lusting over your crush/boyfriend.

Morality is seen as subjective. Mia lies. A lot. She only wants to stop lying "or think of better lies" whenever she gets in trouble due to them. And sometimes lies get you out of things you don't want to deal with so, yay lying! Sex is also seen as something you just do. They do touch upon how it seems to a more emotional thing for women than men but that's about it. Mia obsesses about getting to second (then third... etc) base with Michael. Some relationships do seem healthier in terms of the give and take (and not just physically) but, overall, I wouldn't recommend any young women looking to the series for love advice.  
Religion is frequently looked down upon. There's a chapel and Sunday services mentioned in fourth book but it never states what religion she is. She only says that she gets caught writing her obsessing thoughts about Michael in her journal during a service. God's name is misused a whole lot.

I could go on and on about on my objections to the book but you get the gist... and I only got through half the series before calling it quits. The thing is, this is not the only series of Meg's that I have... and will be throwing away. 

The Mediator series is about a high school girl, Suz, who is a -- you guessed it! -- mediator. That is, she can see and talk to ghosts. She helps them "cross over" to the "other side" and there's a lot of scary scrapes she gets into in the process. Sure, there's a priest mentioned in the series -- another mediator who helps ghost cross over -- who is the principal at the Catholic high school where Suz attends but the theology is all wonky. I actually got rid of the sole book I owned of the series (though I read the entire thing thanks to the LAPL) after my reversion because of how uncomfortable they made me felt. Forget the paranormal stuff (there's some real sinister stuff in the books) and the wonky theology (which, in all honesty, I don't remember much of). Suz gets into a relationship with a male ghost who lives in her old room (yep) and some chapters can get pretty steamy for a human-ghost relationship. This gets steamier after (spoiler alert) her hunky ghost boyfriend somehow becomes a flesh and blood human being after being dead for several centuries. Seriously. Um, pass.

Other books includes: a girl saving the president's son from being assassinated, a typical HS girl who helps an actor, a book on how to be popular, etc etc. Hate to say it but I'd rather my future pre-teen and teen daughters not get any ideas from them.

The only book I'm keeping of Meg's (without much objection) is Avalon High. I love this book. Not only does it appeal to my Medieval/Arthurian legend geek side (oh yes, that side exists) but it's something I would have no problem passing along to a future daughter of mine. The heroine is a typical teenager so there are some whiny moments but she's a lot more balanced and closer to the Hermione Granger-type heroines in YA literature. Sure, I would have to explain to my future girls that reincarnation is not a real thing (the book talks about how King Arthur and other figures in the legend are reincarnated time and time again) but I'd focus on some of the other lessons (selflessness, courage, etc.) in the novel.

I'm not saying Meg Cabot is a bad writer. I've actually enjoyed reading her books... but it's the content that I cannot keep. She herself is a nice lady. I met her a couple of years ago (actually, over a decade ago) and she was so encouraging (she even wrote me a letter afterwards) that I appreciate her as someone who is positive with others. 

I'm not a massive fan of the advice she gives her readers, that's for sure. Besides her books, she kept (keeps?) a blog in which she once told a girl that sleeping with guys was fine because it was like trying on a pair of pants -- she had to find one that fit before committing to it. Who wants their teenage daughter to receive that type of advice? I sure don't!

If you like her books and don't have any objections to them, that's totally up to you. I'm not going to judge you for it. However, for me and my "prude" ways, I'd rather not keep anything like that on my bookshelves. Yes, I spent a lot of money completing the series... but that doesn't seem to matter anymore. And, okay, I will keep just ONE of the Princess Diaries books in the spare bookcase in my book cave but that's only because a good friend of mine went through a lot of trouble sending it from Scotland while she was studying at St. Andrews'. They used to release the books in the UK before the U.S. so she sent me a copy before it came out here. However, I won't read it and will only keep it as a reminder of my friendship with her (going on 12-13 years now). 

I posed this question earlier on Twitter but would love to hear from those of you not on Twitter: for those of you who consider yourselves more on the "traddie" side of Catholicism, what are your opinions of paranormal YA novels? Like the ones I described by Meg Cabot, the Mediator series? Would you let your kids read it? Would you have any objections to them? 

Also, for those of you who have read the Princess Diaries series novels, would you recommend them to a future generation? Not looking to debate anyone, just genuinely curious is all :)

Anyway, I'm going to go indulge in some more non-Catholic books (the list is long) since I have only a week before Lent (and my Catholic books only marathon) begins. :D

I hope y'all have had a great week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Proud to be a Prude, Part Two

Does anyone remember the blog post I wrote over four years ago, in which I said that I was proud to be a prude? If you're wondering if what 26 year-old me wrote is still relevant to current 30 year-old me... well, say "hello" to the title. ;) I'll tell you exactly what prompted me to write this blog post, too: a book that was highly recommended to me.

As I mentioned yesterday, in my quest to spend less time on social media, I've been taking advantage of the Los Angeles Public Library (LAPL)'s vast collection of audiobooks and eBooks. One of the books -- the first one I started reading this year -- seems to be universally beloved amongst many of my girlfriends so I decided to read it. The book? The Royal We. The verdict? Returned to the LAPL after five read chapters.

I know I'm going to get a lot of judgments for saying this (especially because of my age) but I just don't like reading books or watching shows or movies with sex in them. I'm sorry, I just don't. I made it through the first five chapters of The Royal We before I just couldn't keep ignoring how much of the "hooking up" was mentioned. While it never got explicit, I was just not comfortable reading it. In fact, I've never been comfortable reading or watching anything close to it in general.

Four years ago I wrote that my imagination was wildly vivid and it's still true. I know that once an idea is put into my mind, it's hard to get it out. If I read something, it'll replay in my mind until something else captures my imagination. Books tend to stay with me for a long time after I read them. Having said that, I knew that I don't want to go there with all sex mentioned.

I've been trying to undo the years of the "experimentation and 'self-discovery' is good" propaganda that I was fed from my pre-teens through my early 20s. I mean, I never fully bought it but it was still (repeatedly) taught that things like looking at pornography out of curiosity or self-pleasure was all "normal" and that not doing it was unusual. 13 years of public school and undergraduate education in liberal Los Angeles... you do the math. My parents fought that mentality as much as they could -- even refusing to sign the waiver to let me watch the sex-ed video in health class; I had to leave the classroom when those were played -- opting for my mom's guidance on the subject. For that I'm grateful, but you know kids. The information was going to get to me through classmates anyway. Even though pornography was seen as "no big deal" amongst my peers and even some of my professors at certain schools, I knew it was destructive.

I've seen what pornography does to people with my own eyes. I've witnessed the effects in two people I grew up with, a man and a woman. I'll keep it vague though I have the permission of the woman to share this. The man's addiction was closeted but I knew one of his children still had access to things they should never had seen. His marriage suffered because of his addiction to it. The woman ended up developing an addiction to it in her adult years -- it became easy for her to access it to the internet -- and that addiction spanned for a couple of years. She said it was hard to break but was able to do it when she shunned it and kept God on her mind (she had developed the addiction while away from the Church). Though she successfully overcame it a few years ago, it has scarred her and she still has to be careful not to go anywhere near those things to this day.

All of those books and movies with sex scenes may seem harmless to people but they can very easily manipulate you into thinking that it's no big deal. It's all fiction. It's not real. It's true... but it can become a very real thing. Maybe people will be calling me a prude... too religious... too cautious. Maybe I am all of those things. However, I don't want to put myself in a position that I'll later have to take to the confessional.

It's a slippery slope -- "no big deal" becomes "ohh, I can watch this because I'm strong enough" to viewing things that get more and more graphic. "No, I can definitely remember this is fiction," you may argue. "I'm not weak. I have a strong will that will keep me from developing an addiction." Maybe you can, but many can't. I may be able to differentiate between fiction and reality but I just don't want to risk it. I know myself, I know my mind and my will power, and I know that it's simply not worth it to me to basically tempt myself.

I gladly accept all the judgments that come my way because, in the end, it's my life and it's my comfortable level. Books and other entertainment which I consider a kind of "gateway drug" are just not my cup of tea. I'm not going to judge you if you don't have an issue with these things; everyone has their own limits. As I wrote all those years ago, I'm not against sex. It's a beautiful and healthy thing within a marriage... or so I'm guessing since I'm not married and have not experienced that part of life. lol. Still, even when I do get married, I highly doubt I'll ever be comfortable reading or seeing it. It's just the kind of person that I am.

Authors: c'mon, y'all... you can write a great book without having sex so heavily focused! Why do you think I even became a YA/NA writer (besides my love of writing)? Because I was tired of seeing so much sex in books. Yes, it's the norm with young adults but, newsflash, not all young adults are into books like that. There are some who prefer cleaner book. Shocking, I know.

Anyway, come at me (with those negative comments), bro! lol. I'm done with my little mini rant-like blog post. ;) I'm going to go read another book and hope for better results. lol.

I hope y'all are having a great week thus far!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Emmy vs. Social Media (2016 Edition)

As some of you may have noticed, I've not been using social media as much in the last couple of days. Part of that was intentional (I'm stocking up on audiobooks and eBooks from the Los Angeles Public library as well as PC games) and the other part wasn't. For the unintentional part, let's just say that my mother needs all the prayers you can send her way. I can't divulge the reason but let's just say that I had a moment of sheer panic yesterday and I'm not sure we're out of the woods yet. Please and thank you.

The intentional part: I really want to avoid using social media because I know how much it's not helped in the past. Writing my end-of-year review last week made me recognize that I have a serious social media addiction. It's bad, y'all. In the past couple of days I've decided that I couldn't keep doing that. Enter: Emmy vs Social Media (2016 Edition). It's not going to be easy but I'm going to definitely try. I've installed the StayFocusd app on my Chrome browser and it's going to shut down Twitter, Facebook, and tumblr if I got over 45 minutes per day. I'm that serious. I may eventually get it down to 10-15 minutes per day. I'll be cutting back the allotted time as I get better at avoiding social media.

Besides the aforementioned distractors (audiobooks, eBooks, PC games), I also have the next 3 months of Netflix paid for (thank you to the parents of my godson for that awesome Christmas present!) for when I want a more visual downtime. The name of the game is: stress-free distractions. I need distractions from social media during my health recovery time that won't cause a great amount of stress. Stress is what's caused me to lose weight and lose hair. (Have I not mentioned the losing hair part? It's unfortunate; hats are my friends these days.) I've decided not to work on my third novel in the meantime because I sometimes get a little too focused on that and I've been known to accidentally skip meals or get little sleep when I'm in "the zone." I can say I won't do that but I know myself know well enough to know I will do it at some point. That would be not advisable when I know I need to eat and sleep better.

Does it make sense to say that I feel like this will be my last chance to be selfish so I'm trying to enjoy this downtime? Before anyone starts on the "typical Millennial mentality" spiel, I'd like to remind y'all that I spent my teens into my mid 20s taking care of my parents, especially my father who had cancer for 7 years before he passed. My mid-to-late 20s were then spent either trying to finish school, working, keeping the household afloat somehow (even if the financial contribution wasn't much), or taking care of my mom who is slowly losing her memory. I definitely don't think I'm entitled to any selfish time but I also don't want to resent all I've given up for my parents in the future (it could happen even though I'm usually pretty easygoing about the situations) so I'm going to make the most of these months.

I don't have much experience doing stuff just for myself. I've had moments here and there but 4 months to just focus on my selfish wants (within reason; I'm still super frugal and responsible) has been interesting less than three weeks into it. Still, I know that I don't want to waste my time on social media. Hence the distractions.

I have plans for doing other things when I get my car back (no, I still haven't gotten a fixed day when I'll get it back though it was supposed to happen last week). I won't say what they are because -- as I've seen from my failed Autumn and Winter bucket lists -- it's just best for me not to plan too far ahead of time. That and what fun will I have sharing new and exciting things if I announce them beforehand? Nope. Twitter, you will no longer get the scoop before I have a chance to blog about it. ;)

Yes, I am now accepting bets to how long this will actually last. lol. What's been my record? A month of limited social media interactions? Challenge accepted. ;)

Alright, well, I have an eBook (The Royal We) that won't read itself and a bowl of brown rice pasta that won't eat itself so I should go do that now. It'll be a sort of late lunch since I woke up slightly late (9:52 a.m.) this morning. :)

I hope y'all are having a great start of year thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Why I Decided to Be a (Catholic) YA/New Adult Author

Recently I've been re-reading the books that I read as a teenager and a young adult. Yes, I'm still technically a young adult at 29 but I'm talking about my early to mid 20s. If you're following me on Goodreads, you know which books I've re-read... and have re-rated. Part of the reason why I'm re-reading the books is due to nostalgia and the other part is research. Both When Two Worlds Collide and London Calling are considered New Adult books so I'm curious to the kinds of stories other YA/New Adult authors write. The research has led me to the decision to be a "Catholic author."

Most of the books I'm re-reading were read prior my reversion... and I have to remind myself of that fact whenever I read something that makes me cringe. I made it only 28 pages into the first book in a series I used to like because I couldn't stomach the protagonist of the series. It's unlike me to not finish a book but I couldn't continue. The main character becomes mortified over the fact that she wasn't aware that she was being sexually harassed by her best friend's older brother... but she's upset over the "clueless" moment rather than the act itself. She also comments that she wishes that her crush would actually sexually harass her. A few pages later she expresses disappointment that the only guy to ever "feel her up" was a blind man and not someone else worthy of the act. *headdesk* Please. Stop.

A big reason why I decided to become a (Catholic) YA author is because I've heard friends lament over the fact that they can't find contemporary YA novels that aren't saturated with questionable content that goes against Church teachings... or outright drags them through the mud. I've had friends who have teenage daughters express disappointment over the content that it out there for their daughters. I had these comments in mind when I edited the first Will and Lina novel and wrote the second one. Spoiler alert: I infused Faith into the books for obvious reasons... though I tried to do it in a way that wasn't preachy.

When I started writing, I didn't set out to be a "Catholic author." I just wanted to write books... even if no one but my friends read them. As my novels progressed, I knew that no one could deny that I was a Catholic writer. Catholicism is infused into the stories, even if it's not immediately obvious. I'm nowhere near the likes of Catholic authors like G.K. Chesterton, Evelyn Waugh, J.R.R. Tolkien, Flannery O'Connor, Dean Koontz, or even Regina Doman (who has written great YA novels). However, I've made the decision to be the kind of author that young women (and, really, anyone) could read without having to worry about content that would go against Church teachings. Sure, some characters do some really shady things (for those who've read the first novel, one word: Candace) but even through the bad times, there's a light present.

I know the fact that I've chosen to be identified as a Catholic YA author means I've already alienated many readers, but I'm okay with it. I'd rather lose readers who would rather not "deal" with Catholicism in their novels than risk leading others down the wrong path (a path away from God) for the sake of making money or becoming popular. If it goes against Church teachings it's either not going into the novels or will be dealt with according to our beliefs. If I would never say it to my nieces, nephews, or my godson, it won't make it into the novels. There's already too much garbage around and I refuse to contribute to it.

For those of you who are worried that the novels will be preachy, I can tell you that I hope to never do that. Like I said, Catholicism is infused into the novels but sometimes the themes are not glaringly obvious. Sometimes the theme is on mercy and redemption. Sometimes a character is Catholic and they attend Mass in the story before they do something else. See? Nothing too "believe this, you heathen!" about it. lol. I'm not going to shove my beliefs down people's throats but I'm not going to shy away from the fact that I believe certain things. Seriously, just ask anyone who's read one or both of my novels.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this. Originally I was going to write about all the cringe-worthy things I'd read in YA novels but 1) it wouldn't have been very charitable of me and 2) I'd really rather use my money to pay for grad school than to pay off lawsuits from miffed authors. lol. ;)

I hope y'all had a great weekend and have a stellar week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

My Literary Heroine

As I stated a few blog posts ago, I've been re-reading the Anne of Green Gables series with my good friend (and rock star editor/only person to have read part of the novel sequel), Kiera. We're currently a couple of books into the series and I'm loving it. There is one curious thing about this re-read though; I've come to realize that I am Anne Shirley. This got me thinking about something: we gals tends to either identify with or try to emulate literary heroines we admire. Furthermore, who have I chosen as my ideal literary heroine? Someone I identify with or someone I want to be like?

I'm a Janeite through and through. I've been a member of JASNA and JASNA-SW. I own all the novels and mini-series DVDs. I can tell you the stories of the heroines and the heroes as if they were my own stories. Some of my closest friends (who are also Janeites) have nicknamed me "Jane" after Miss Jane Bennet, eldest daughter of the Bennet family in Pride and Prejudice. She's quiet, reserved, doesn't show her emotions readily (even to her closest sister, Elizabeth), and feels deeper than she shows. However, I have never fully identified as a Jane.

I am quiet and reserved... but most of the quietness fades when I get to know someone well enough to let my silliness through. I don't share my feelings so easily with everyone but I am getting better about sharing them with the people who mean the most to me. I do feel deeply but I also know that people can just take one look at me and know what I'm feeling. So, no, I'm not really Jane. I'm a "combination of Jane Bennet (quietness and reserve), Catherine Morland (imagination and innocence), Anne Elliot (steadfastness and loyalty), and Elinor Dashwood (practical and sensible)" as one close friend says. Still, even a combo isn't really close to how I am. I don't see myself in any of them... even the combo. As much as these women are awesome heroines, I don't choose them (or any other Austen heroine) as my preferred literary heroine. That honor goes to Anne Shirley.

Anne is an INFP, just like me. Anne had a fiery temperature as a child that eventually gets reigned in as an adult. I certainly have a bit of a temper when I'm pushed beyond my limit (who doesn't?) but instead of breaking a slate over someone's head, I get quiet. I internalize things instead of arguing with someone... and I will get over it within minutes. Anne had nothing at the beginning of the series. She was orphaned and she initially wasn't wanted but she was eventually taken in by the Cuthberts, received an education, and even graduated with a B.A. which was rare for a woman to do in the Edwardian era. I wasn't orphaned (I didn't experience the loss of a parent until I was 24 years-old) but I do come from a socioeconomic background in which the odds were stacked against me from the beginning. Neither of my parents went beyond a junior high education, no one (brothers nor sister) graduated from high school, and college never entered anyone's hopes and dreams. Like Anne, I put my B.A. dreams on hold for a couple of years when there was an illness in the family but, also like Anne, I don't regret that decision. Now I'm nearly 2/3 through my second degree with a brighter future than I could've ever dreamed for myself.

Most of you might not know this (since the majority of you have only known me as an adult), but I used to get in trouble in school for talking. A lot and often. My report cards (some of which I still have) used to have "talks too much in class" comments. However, as I got older, I became less talkative.

"There were other changes in Anne no less real than the physical change. For one thing, she became much quieter. Perhaps she thought all the more and dreamed as much as ever, but she certainly talked less."

This was the exact passage that made me realize that Anne was the literary version of myself, more so than all the Austen heroines combined. I definitely become quieter around middle school and it's stayed that way since. I have a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my head but I just write them down. My best friend growing up started giving me notebooks as birthday presents when we were teenagers for this very reason. He noticed that I always writing and/or dreaming up things (much like Anne) so he gave me notebook; I went through them quickly, too.

All of these things (and many more that would be too long to list) are part of why I chose Anne as my literary heroine. I see my faults in her faults. I see my strengths and weaknesses in her own. I notice things I don't like about her and realize that those are the same things I have to work on. All the things that I admire about her, I've come to accept (with reluctance, lol) as things that I also possess. I know she's not real; I know she's partially a figment of L.M. Montgomery's imagination. Still, isn't it great to find a "kindred spirit" that helps you grow as a person... even one that only lives in pages and imaginations?

A few weeks ago, I confided in a good friend that I was thinking about giving up writing because I didn't think what I wrote made a difference in anyone's life. He reminded me that the authors that I admire have made a positive impact on me... and that they would never know it. I thought about Jane Austen and agreed that it made sense but it wasn't until I re-read the words of L.M. Montgomery that my friend's word really hit me. Just as I have chosen Anne as my literary heroine, I hope that someday my literary heroines (like Lina Zamora) will be someone else's literary heroine, even if I never find out. And, again, no, Lina is not entirely based on me though we do share certain similarities. I think I'm more Anne Shirley than I am Lina Zamora, to be honest. My friends will have to be the judges here. lol.

I just wanted to share this because I've seen a big surge in Anne of Green Gables readers amongst us in the (female) Catholic world lately.  Oh! And, out of curiosity, who are some of YOUR literary heroines and why? I'd love to know. :)

Anyway, I should get back to studying. I have three exams in the next week (one on Friday and two next Monday) and I really want to do well so I'm going to be focusing on that and homework this week. If I don't get a chance to write again until after my last exam, have a great week! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

7 Quick Takes, Vol.19: Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati Edition

First, I want to wish all my fellow Americans a Happy Independence Day. Be safe and have fun during your celebrations.

Today is the feast day of my favorite soon-to-be saint, Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati. I was actually kind of sad that I ended the novena yesterday because I noticed the difference in my outlook on life during the novena. While the personal intention is private, I will say that it definitely helped me reevaluate certain things that had been on my mind (including a big decision I've had to make). So, in honor of the saint I've adopted as my "spiritual big brother", here's 7 ways Bl. PGF has helped me throughout 20s.

-- 1 --

I first became acquainted with Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati during the 2008 World Youth Day celebrations in Sydney. I didn't personally go to Sydney but I did follow it via the XT3 (when it was still a brand new website; yes, I'm still on it though I don't actively participate as much these days). While it took me a couple of months to actually look up his story, I was immediately impressed with it; so much courage, faith, and love for Christ in such a short time on this earth. It was two years after my reversion and I didn't know how he would help shape the rest of my 20s.

-- 2 --

This was the first year (in years) that I didn't do the Bl. PGF novena on this blog because I knew I wouldn't have the time. I didn't forget to do the novena (I finished it last night) but I also knew that I didn't have the time to either post it every day or even schedule it ahead of time because of how crunched for time I've been with school lately. I'm barely getting time to study for exams (though I do have an hour today... hence this blog post) but I hope to resume the tradition next year. If you've never done the novena, I highly recommend it. I've personally seen the difference in the way I think and act (in a good way) while I do the novena and the effects stay with me for a good, long while. Do it! You'll love it.

-- 3 -- 

I believe that Bl. PGF helped me during my father's death. As I wrote last year, there was some similarities between Bl. PGF's death and my father's death. One thing that I just realized (while writing this post) is that Bl. PGF died at the age of 24, while I had my father on this earth for the first 24 years of my life. Anyway, I prayed for Bl. PGF's intercession when my father was in the hospital (I even placed a picture of Bl. PGF in front of my dad's bed). On his feast day, 5 years ago today, I asked him for a miracle. We didn't quite get the miracle we wanted but I do feel like Bl. PGF intercede in another way. I believe that through his intercession (as well as the prayers from everyone else), I was able to keep it together. I didn't fall apart, which is what most people probably expect. If you've read the blog post I wrote after my father's funeral, you can see what I mean. This hasn't been the only time Bl. PGF has intercede for me.

-- 4 --

Readers of this blog who've stuck around since either before or while I was at my dreadful alma mater (and I say dreadful because of their CINO ways) know that I was pretty miserable at the school because of the things that were "taught" there. Bl. PGF and St. Therese of Lisieux both helped me during my two years there. St. Therese helped remind me to counter some of the dirty looks I received with love. Bl. PGF helped remind me that I had to fight so that the Truth would be heard by my classmates. While I wasn't unable to speak up during the majority of the lectures (my professors quickly knew where I stood in my beliefs), I was still able to do little things to counter the unorthodox liberation theology we were exposed to.

-- 5 -- 

Who is responsible for my daily Mass addiction? Take one guess. lol. Over the years I've become a big fan of attending daily Mass. Reading about how much Bl. PGF loved to attend daily Mass and receiving the Eucharist has inspired me to do the same. When my anxiety was worse (years before it was officially diagnosed as PTSD) and I wanted to receive the Eucharist, I would try to imagine him standing next to me, holding me up (with Mama Mary or St. Therese at my other side) when I would feel as if my knees would buckle under me. While it's been a while since I've attended daily Mass (the fatigue I've felt over the last 2-3 months has been intense at times), I've been wanting to renew my daily trips. I hope to do so starting tomorrow. :)

-- 6 --

If you want to learn more about Bl. PGF, I'd recommend reading A Man of the Beatitudes: Pier Giorgio Frassati by his sister Luciana, My Brother Pier Giorgio: His Final Days also by Luciana, and/or Pier Giorgio Frassati: Letters to His Friends and Family edited by Fr. Timothy E. Deeter and Christine M. Wohar. I've read (but not finished all; oops) all three and I highly recommend them. I still have to finish the book on his Letters but it's been so beautiful and encouraging thus far. Oh! Brandon Vogt is giving away the Man of the Beatitudes book AND a DVD on the EWTN special they did on Bl. PGF (which I also own). I thought I'd pass it along if y'all wanted a chance to win. Go. Do it!

-- 7 --

This is my Bl. PGF Tiny Saint that my mom bought me at the Cathedral a few months ago. He goes everywhere with me, along with the Mary Undoer of Knots key chain that Angelica sent me for Christmas. As I continue to discern joining the Dominican lay order (guess who inspired me to look into becoming a Dominican, even though I was originally headed down the Carmelite path), I shall continue to keep my "spiritual big brother" as a role model. It doesn't matter that I am now older than he was while he was on this earth, I know that he will continue to look after me as any big brother would over his little sister. :)

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

And that is all the fangirling I have a chance to do at this time. lol. I have lunch to take care of, a mother to pick up from work, and two exams/quizzes to study for. Did I mention that we COMD students don't get holidays off? Working straight until (at least) the end of this month. ;)

I hope y'all are doing well. If you have any prayer requests, send them my way. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

7 Quick Takes Vol. 13: New Year's Edition

-- 1 --

Happy New Year to all you lovely blog readers. I took the first two days of the year to relax before I dove back into writing. It was lovely but I needed to write again. Anyway, I hope you all had a good time ringing in the new year... though, from what I saw on my Twitter and Instagram feeds, it looks like most of us just stayed at home this NYE. Nothing wrong with that! This homebody approves. ;)

-- 2 --

I've been trying to catch up on reading because I will soon head back to school. Okay, May isn't "soon" but it is getting closer. Stoked! Anyway, I've been reading a mix of children's literature (in the form of Pixie Hollow books; it's research for an upcoming project), finishing the Narnia series, reading my friend Nancy's His Good Opinion novel (Janeites will enjoy it!), and I just borrowed a book on the letters between St. Francis de Sales and St. Jane Frances de Chantal. I'm very excited about this book because I've been feeling particularly close to both these saints lately. Let's see how much reading I can get in between now and May 4th.

-- 3 --

Can I just say how awesome the Mary Undoer of Knots novena is? I had a long standing (read: almost 5 years) issue bugging me and I've noticed that the "knots" are slowly being undone. All those things that went wrong while I did the novena were so worth the peace and joy I am currently experiencing.

-- 4 -- 

When y'all voted for St. Raphael the Archangel as this year's patron saint I was curious as to why. He'd never won before. Now I've see why; I've spent January 1st through today giving relationship advice as well as being forced to take a good look at my own personal life. I wonder how many more people will need novenas to St. Raphael throughout the year. ;)

-- 5 --

I have some things I want to write about but I want to have material so no spoilers from me. I looks like January will be quite the prolific writing month... if time allows me to publish them all relatively close to each other.

-- 6 --

This is why I love tumblr; a priest, a rabbi...

-- 7 --

And, because this is the "New Year's Edition"... I don't have resolutions (I don't like making them) but here are my goals for this year:
- More swing dancing.
- More traveling.
- Learn more recipes.
- Learn how to knit.
- Attend daily Mass (or at least spend 20 minutes in silent prayer in front of the tabernacle daily).
- Spend less time online.
- Learn to balance school and prayer life.

And that's all for now. Quick. Easy. No spoilers. ;) Okay, fine, I want to get back to reading. lol.

I hope you all have a great weekend (I may blog tomorrow; fingers crossed)!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Big Update Post: Health; Lent Failures and Successes

Wow. I haven't blogged in over a week. Sorry. It's been a crazy busy week. I received my test results on Thursday (which I will write about), my brother arrived from Texas on Friday for a visit (and he's still here), and my weekend was crazy (Mondays count as my weekend since I take off Sundays and Mondays). Breathe, Emmy... breathe. Let's recap how crazy things are, shall we?

If you haven't already read via my twitter and/or the blog's FB page, I am completely healthy... on paper. Upper GI results came back with good news: no damage to my stomach, esophagus, or any other part that they checked. No acid reflux as far as they can see (though the doctor said I might still have some). No ulcer. No H. Pylori. My blood test results are perfect. The doctor is stumped. The problem is that I still have some problems eating. I had Spanish rice for the first time since late summer a couple of days ago and I had no immediate reaction. It was only until the next day that the acid was a bit uncomfortable and I didn't feel 100%. Thankfully it's less than before. I haven't tried all foods but I'm starting to try some of my old staples. Tackled homemade fries as I wrote this out and so far so good (whoo!).

Right now I'm aiming for a healthier weight and to exercise a bit more (I've been starting slowly as per my doctor's suggestion). I'm technically at a "normal" weight at the moment but it's at the very low end (only a step to the right from being considered underweight) so I want to gain a bit more. 2000 calories per day to achieve this goal... let's do this! ;) As for still being sick, I'm hoping that I am able to eat a bit more now that I'm off my bland diet. My next doctor appointment isn't until late April so let's hope I gain at least 5 pounds in the meantime. And, don't worry, I don't obsessively check my weight. I do it once every couple of days (no more than twice a week) to make sure I haven't lost more weight in the process. I (thankfully) still hold a healthy image about weight. I wouldn't even bother weighing myself or counting calories if I wasn't asked to. lol.

Have I thanked y'all for all of your prayers the last couple of months? No? Well, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I know some of you have messaged me throughout the last couple of months (and especially the last two weeks) and I firmly believe that I've found strength and peace of mind because of them. Just one more: THANK YOU!

What else is going on? Lent has been both a success and a failure thus far. Blargh. Why a failure? Because I haven't been able to not fast or to not eat meat on Fridays. I hopefully will this coming Friday but thus far, failure. Not to mention that it hasn't been overall hard for me since all I "gave up" were non-Catholic books. I have four books going on simultaneously (Interior Freedom by Fr. Jacques Philippe, Preparation for Death by St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori, A Lenten Journey with Jesus Christ and St. Therese of Lisieux by Fr. John F. Russell O.Carm, and the Catechism of the Catholic Church) but I'm enjoying myself. It's not a challenge. In this way I feel like I've failed. However, it's still early enough that I can fix this.

What I ended up deciding to do (with the help of my confessor) is to give up my time spent online; especially on Fridays when I can't skip on not eating meat (while I try to figure out non-meat items that I can eat without problems on Fridays). I will most likely continue to give up my time on social networks after 12:00 p.m. on Fridays throughout Lent (even when I don't eat meat) because it'll be hard for me. I'm not addicted to social networks but I do spend quite a bit of time on them (especially twitter) so it'll be good for me to cut back on that and focus on my main guy (God).

Successes thus far include the end of the 54 day Rosary novena. I'm not calling victory yet as I'm not done, but the last day will hopefully be on Friday so I'm almost there. It's been a struggle. I've had some hard days that have produced "maybe you should give me" thoughts... which are quickly followed by "get your butt behind me, Evil One... I'm finishing this thing!" It's good to use my stubbornness productively. lol. It's become such a big part of my day (included in my nightly prayers) that I feel like I'm going to have to get a new novena (quick, someone send me a big intention that requires a novena!) so that I don't feel it as much as I think I will when it's over. Is it possible to be addicted to novenas? If so, no one get me help! lol.

Anyway, the local parish has confessions on Tuesday evenings so I'm going to stop writing so I can do some vacuuming before I go. I want to go to Mass, stay for confession afterwards, and then spend some time in front of the tabernacle before I put myself to bed at 8-9 p.m. Since Pope Benedict XVI's last Papal Audience will be shown live on EWTN at 1 a.m. PST, I want to get a nap in before it happens. I get up at 4 a.m. regardless (to drive my mother to work) but I still want to get a bit of sleep in so I'm not a complete zombie tomorrow. I already warned my family I will most likely be in tears so they've been warned if they hear me reaching for tissues at that time. lol.

That's it for now. I hope y'all are having a good start of week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

What I Learned Wednesday #9

I promise these things will be more faith focused once Lent begins.

1) I'm sure you've all heard about the letter Archbishop Gomez sent out to the Los Angeles Archdiocese regarding Cardinal Mahony and his role in covering up the decades worth of sexual abuse cases. I won't get into it as it would take me a long time (and some rents)... and it'll be nothing that you haven't heard or said yourself. I just want to say three simple things. First, thank goodness we have Archbishop Gomez. When it was announced that he was to take over the archdiocese upon Cardinal Mahony's retirement, I was excited because I knew he would do great things. Though this is a painful thing to have to do (even my parish priest had a hard time getting through the letter when he read it to us at the end of Mass last weekend), I believe he's handling it well. Second, as per his request, I'll be praying for the victims and all involved. I hope you all will too. Third, of course the media is having a field day. I've learned to tune out the MSM because of how warped and anti-Catholic it can be. I hope that people will have enough common sense to actually look at the documents and not judge the Catholic Church harshly (one person who does evil does not represent us all) but we all know that this will only fuel anti-Catholic sentiments. Pray for the Church as a whole because things will only get worse before they get better.

2) I get email updates when some bloggers upload new posts (it's easier for me to get them in my inbox) so I don't miss the good stuff. One of my favorite posts this week was Dr. Taylor Marshall's post on who the first photographed saint was. I always thought it was St. Therese (whose photograph was the first saint photo I myself ever saw) but it seems to be St. Bernadette. I'm a very visual person and I like to focus on an image (such as a crucifix, a painting of a mystery while praying the Rosary, etc) when I read or pray so I really enjoyed the post. I don't know much about a couple of the saints mentioned in the post so it'll be good to learn about them in the next couple of weeks. I'm often (half jokingly) called an encyclopedia for patron saints but I sometimes don't know the saint's actual story so that's a new goal for me. Also, new trivia for my Catholic files. Really, I have a box and files organized with Catholic things. Catholic nerd, party of one right here. lol.

3) And speaking about Catholic geek moments, I realized that I am behind on my reading... well, Catholic book reading. I've been reading Jane Austen novels or books inspired by Jane Austen because I wanted a light break from work (thank goodness freelance writing work hasn't dried up again). During Lent I think I will restrict myself to reading only Catholic books. I have a ton in my "to read" list... just sitting on my bookshelf. Some of those books have been there for years and I still haven't gotten to them. After I finish reading these two last Jane Austen books (since Lent begins next week), I'll start on them. I'll be done with one of them sooner than the other because it's so incredibly condescending and awful. And before you say anything, I finish what I start so I'm finishing this darn book. I'll be in Catholic nerd heaven during Lent (one week to go!) so these #WILW posts will be better then. ;)

Anyway, this was short and pretty straight forward. I almost forgot to write today but I saw Alex wrote his so I was reminded. Thanks, Alex! lol.

I should make myself some dinner (haven't had anything to eat since before I went on my walk earlier today) so... see ya. lol. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

From Someone Who Actually Read The Book

That is a screenshot of my Goodreads book tally. Yes, I have read the book that has everyone talking this week. Yes, I hated it (which is why I gave it 1out of 5 stars -- I would've given it a zero if I could). And, yes, I agree with the statement that the Vatican issued on the book.

It should come as no surprise that this book was assigned for my "Sexual Christian Ethics" course my junior year at the CINO college. The professor (the same one who spoke ill of the Holy Father) raved about the book. To be quite honest, I didn't read the entire thing because it would make me feel nauseous. I would read come exam time... and only read what would be on the test because the few pages I did read made me upset.

Let me just tell you the gist of the class -- which was taught according to what was in Just Love by Sr. Margaret Farley and A Lily Among the Thorn: Imagining a New Christian Sexuality by Miguel de la Torre. Homosexuality is fine because God wants us all to love. The Church is terrible patriarchy that wants to oppress women and minorities (including homosexuals) -- and this would start rants about the Church and the Holy Father that I would offer up. My prof would say that she was not in agreement with the Church and that she was in agreement with the books instead of the Church.

I found my old notes so now I'm going to add straight quotes. "Patriarchy (alluding to the Church from my understanding in class) creates sexism, homophobia, and hypocrisy." "Why are things reduced to what you do in bed?" "Notion of virginity is culturally constructed and not from God." "At various times of your life you fluctuate between hetero- and homosexuality." "You experiment with yourself, men with men, and women with women." "Virgin Mary didn't remain a virgin." "Hell may not exist." "(talking about nuns) Smarter than priests and they admitted it." Had enough yet? That is just part of it. There are things I don't feel comfortable writing that were covered in the book that go against Church teachings.

Do I agree that this book will confuse those who know little to nothing about the Catholic Church? Yes. Will what is written lead many astray, especially if taught (like we were) in classes? Definitely. The words "yeah, it was all part of the liberation theology taught at that school" just came to mind. I am personally happy the statement has been issued though I think that it won't do much at the schools where this book is assigned. Though I hope she doesn't, I feel like my former prof will rant about how the Vatican is on a "witch hunt" because they're scared of nuns the next time she uses this book.

For the record, this is from my point of view and what we covered when I was at the CINO college. I definitely don't recommend this book. I prefer Theology of the Body which, not surprisingly, my profs didn't agree with when I brought it up in class.

Anyway, just wanted to add my two cents and let y'all know that, coming from someone who actually read part of the book, I agree with everything the Vatican has said. Avoid at all costs if possible.

I am a bit behind on a few book reviews of Tiber River Review so I'm going to get offline and try to finish at least one of them before the day ends. :)

I hope you all have a great weekend. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D