Saturday, March 16, 2019

Getting Ridiculed for Innocence


We're having lovely spring-early summer weather so I'm sitting on the couch in the living room with the front door open. I can see the beautiful, cloudless blue sky as well as the lush green grass that is growing in our front lawn. I opened the windows to let the breeze and the sunshine in after weeks of cold and rain. "Sweet William (and Lily at the Valley)" by Nat King Cole is playing as I watch butterflies fly through the sky.

Ladies and gentlemen, this moment is complete bliss for me... and, thankfully, I'm not missing it by being on social media or on my cell phone. Insert dreamy sigh here. I'm SO ready for the official beginning of my favorite season (Spring!) next week. :D

Anyway, that's not why I'm blogging today. I'm blogging to comment on an article I read on the "Value of Innocence" on Verily's website. Trust me, how I started this blog is connected to this article...

The article got me thinking about how much I myself value it... and how I'm ridiculed for it. In fact, the more I read, the more I nodded and felt like the writer was a kindred spirit.

Those who know me know that I hate cussing/cursing. I see no need for it. There are so many other words in the English language that will do a better job at expressing negative emotions. When I stub my toe or get a painful injection, I tend to say, "Oh, son of a biscuit!" or "Oh, you flipping burger muncher..." Seriously, I've made many nurses and doctors laugh with my exclamations.

I prefer to keep what I watch, listen to, and read as "squeaky clean" as possible. I know I'm an adult and therefore can watch intimate/racy scenes in shows and movies but I don't like to. In fact, I will sometimes double check with friends who've watched something before I have to make sure it's something I would be comfortable watching. Even then, it takes me a while to "get" certain things said in films.

e.g. I can't watch a one-time favorite Gene Kelly movie, On the Town, because it took me a while to figure out what they were talking about. Yes, I'm serious. Just take a look at my favorite movie: Roman Holiday. I adore it and I prefer movies made before the 1960s because they tend to be a little cleaner than what's popular now.

Same with music lyrics. I tend to not listen to most modern songs for the same reason; there are so much profanity and crass remarks that make me uncomfortable. Also, my mind is so innocent (yes, I'm calling it for what it is) that I don't get the innuendos until much, much later on. At that point, I simply blush and am no longer able to listen to the song.

Now, before I go on, I'm going to say: this is all according to my preferences. I'm not saying you're a bad or sinful person if you have no issues with these things. I'm saying I have issues with them and I don't feel comfortable with them and that's why I will avoid them. Okay? Because I've had people rip into me for stating my preferences on social media before.

And what about that? I'm truly puzzled as to why my preferences bother people so much. If I state that I don't see the point to cussing or why I prefer not to see certain things, why do people feel the need to justify why they do it when I'm clearly talking about myself and not them?

I can't tell you how many times I've heard the words "prude," "Amish," "innocent" (in a hypercritical tone, accompanied with a stink face), "old-fashioned" and "holier-than-thou" thrown my way. I've been mocked and teased for my innocence. And, yes, I'll keep using that word because -- as the writer in the article wrote -- I'm going to try to do my part in trying to get people to stop using the word in a derogatory manner.

Look, I know it's "weird" for a 33-year-old woman to tend to like things that are considered innocent but I do. I'm not going to apologize for it, either. I know it seems like I'm doing it just to be counter-cultural or, even worse, to appear like I'm holier than others but it's just how I've always been. Seriously, ask anyone who has known me for over a decade and they'll confirm this fact. These are my preferences (have I stressed that enough?) and this is the kind of life I want to lead. Again, I'm truly puzzled as to why people get offended by my choices but it's something I encounter way more often than y'all would guess.

Anyone else in the same boat? If so, just know that you're not alone. We may seemingly be in the minority but we exist.

Kindred spirits, don't let anyone make you feel bad for your choices. Don't apologize when others aren't comfortable with your preferences.

Anyway, just something I wanted to share while I had the chance since I'm having a nice, leisurely day today. I'm about to go plan for tomorrow -- St. Patrick's Day -- since I'm serious Hibernophile. I'm so excited that the day finally landed on a Sunday during Lent since we get "mini-Easters" on Sundays during Lent. I don't know when it'll happen again so I'm going to make the most out of it!

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!


2 comments:

AnneMarie said...

AMEN!!!!!! I was so excited to see that Verily article, but then I forgot to read it so your blog post reminded me that I still had to get to it-thanks!

It is SO GOOD to hear from another kindred spirit on this. When I stopped homeschooling and began attending Catholic school in the 7th grade, there were so many things that went over my head-references that other students made, that kind of thing. That continued in high school and college (I recall getting some shocked glances at one point, and some of my friends were quite amused at me at times) and even though I'm now married and have kids, some things STILL go over my head!

I also love how you talk about preferences-I also don't know why people make such a fuss over what people personally choose not to read/watch/listen to. People sometimes-still!-try to convince me to read a certain book series that I've never read. It almost feels like they want me to read it because they feel like I'm judging them for choosing not to read it (which I'm not). I don't know. People are weird. Over time, I've grown a bit more lenient with what media I consume, but part of that comes with the fact that I'm now married-so if a book or show has certain references that are done appropriately, it's fine for me to read, but that wouldn't have been the case for me personally prior to marriage.

Melissa Cecilia said...

It's definitely worth the read.

I was hoping someone would get what I was talking about! Hooray for kindred spirits! I always went to public school until I got to college so I heard things but I still didn't understand it because my parents were perhaps a bit more careful than other parents when it came to what media I was exposed to. They also never allowed me to take the "sex ed" courses that they were offered; I would have to leave the room on those days and I'd get teased for it.

I'm so happy you offered your POV as a married woman. I think this may continue for me even if/when I get married as well.

As for preferences -- sometimes I wonder if people react because they think they're being judged (they're not) or perhaps because they feel guilty about what they do. Again, no judgment but I know people sometimes get defensive -- in general -- because they feel guilty for their actions.