Catholic Nerd Say What?, Fun in Philosophy

I am surprised I'm functioning on 4 hours of sleep. I'm not even tired enough for a nap! This lack of sleep has done two things to me: make me VERY giddy (I haven't stopped smiling all day AND you can't bring me down no matter how hard you try) and also very brave.

The reason for the lack of sleep was because I was doing studying for the Philosophy exam I had an exam today. Since I missed it last Wednesday (due to my still being ill), I had to make it up today. I studied... I crammed... I'm pretty sure I didn't ace the test. I drew a lot of blanks. Thankfully, the exam was mainly multiple choice (which made me remember the answers more quickly) and it was based on things from the Old Testament that I knew (this exam was on the Judaism portion of the course). Still, I'm not too confident about it. If I passed, it'll be a miracle and St. Joseph of Cupertino is getting all the credit for that because I couldn't concentrate too well on the exam. After the test, though, things went very well -- for me.

I feel a little bad about being smug about what I'm about to share but... well, you'll see what I don't feel completely bad about it. After I finished my exam (in about half an hour), I went back into the classroom to hear the rest of today's lecture. Since it's the beginning of the Christianity portion of the course (whoo-hoo!) I didn't want to miss it. I knew he'd naturally go into Catholicism (which the professor called the "universal" religion) first so I was pumped. This is something I wouldn't need to study (much) for. That excitement turned into "what is he talking about?" and thus my fun in Philosophy began.

I turned the next hour of class into my own personal game... which I really shouldn't have done but it made the class fun. lol. I payed very close attention to what he was lecturing... and I caught a couple of discrepancies that I was more than happy to correct. Who was the only one in the class who knew St. Elizabeth's (mother of St. John the Baptist) husband, Zacharias (St. Zachary)? It wasn't the professor; it was little ol' me. lol. This isn't the first time I've had to fill in the blanks. Making sure they didn't get St. Joseph and St. Jude Thaddeus mixed up? I spoke up on that. Going into talks about St. Thomas Aquinas' "Summa Theologica"? I was all over that. Making sure people understood that Jesus Christ resurrected on the 3rd day, not from one day to another? I said my two cents on that. Talking about Christianity like it was the most ridiculous thing? You'll get a raised eyebrow from me. Debating the Virgin Mary's virginity? Oh heck no! No one messes with my mama! I'm pretty sure the professor is already pretty sick of me but, oh, it's only going to get started. I'm sorry but I have to speak up... especially after he said that he sympathized with Pontius Pilate. "Seriously? Did you just really say that? Oh... it's SO on!" Catholic nerd say what? Did she just challenge her professor. Yes... yes, I did. lol. Any attacks on Catholicism can and will be counterattacked by me... and I shall do it with a smile. Is it bad that I get so much joy from proving professors (who talk smack about the Catholic Church) wrong? I feel a little bad about being smug... but I enjoyed it too much to feel horrible. Maybe I should continue attending a public college/university so I can keep arguing with Philosophy and Religious Studies professors who have things all wrong... I'm a stinker, aren't I? lol. :D Does anyone else do this or am I just a weirdo who loves debating with professors? lol.

One professor I won't be debating -- my math professor. My course started today... and I should go do that before I crash. Fingers crossed that last night's all-nighter will be my only one this semester. Let's hope so because I'm way too giddy and silly for my own good when I have less than 5 hours of sleep. My obsession with Laurel and Hardly movies at the moment pretty much tells you how silly I am. lol.

And speaking of Laurel and Hardy, I hope you enjoy these videos of musical moments by them. :D




Alright, that's it for now. I'm off to tackle math *groans*. lol. I wish I was done with my lower division requirement so I could take all my Philosophy and Religious Studies courses and have more fun. lol. And, yes, this is me stalling. lol. Alright, alright, I'm going. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!

Modesty at Mass and in Everyday Life.

Yes, that's the chapel veil (or mantilla) that my father brought from Mexico. I will have to look for the one my beloved, late grandmother sent me when I was still in my teens so I can post a picture of it as well. I LOVE it. I'm going to have to get used to wearing them... which is proving somewhat difficult with my usually straight hair. Maybe I'll have to stop blow drying it so it stays naturally wavy, then maybe it won't keep sliding off. lol. Mom suggested I use bobby pins, like she did when she was younger and wore them to Mass (granddad was very Catholic), but I still haven't figured out how to do it. Suggestions are welcomed! :D Either way, I AM going to wear them... even if no one else around my age does. (The only women at my parish, and during the morning English Mass, that I've seen wear them are over 40.)

During Mass last Sunday I had two thoughts come to mind. First: Yes! Other women dress appropriately to Mass and/or wear mantillas. Second: Wow, so many women comes dressed like they were going out to a club... or hanging out at the mall with their friends. As my friend Monique from Catholic Chicks (who beat me with a post similar to this, lol) pointed out, we can't judge someone by what they wear to Mass because we don't know if the reason they're not more dressed up is because they can't afford to be. Trust me, I've told my father many times that it doesn't matter what he looks like as long as he attends Mass (though he does this because doesn't want to get dressed up and/or is finding excuses to not attend Mass). I completely understand that some people just can't for one reason or another, but that they wish they could. For those who can afford to look nice, and do dress up outside of Mass, I have to wonder why they don't make the effort to look nice when being in the house of God.

I've found some really surprising, and sad, excuses young women make for not dressing up for Mass. This is from my own research and questioning, I'm not saying these are the reasons for everyone. There are two reasons that make me cringe the most. First: "Why should I bother dressing up if there is no one to impress; there are no cute boys that attend Mass." Uh, seriously? I didn't know Mass was for trying to land yourself a boyfriend/husband. Oh wait... it's NOT! This brings me to the second reason: "It's just Mass. I showed up, isn't that enough? What's the big deal anyway?" *palmface* Oy.

Maybe the way I feel about this whole thing is because I was raised to always try to look nice when going to church, showing my respect for God. My dad (yes, you read that right) made sure I was always in a little dress, or at the very least a skirt, and dress shoes. If you've ever seen how Ali Landry dresses her daughter Estela, that's just how my parents had me dressed up until my tomboy side took over when dress pants became my thing. (I'm happy to report that I have since returned to wearing skirts to Mass, when it's not freezing cold.) Wearing these tube tops that young women have to constantly be pulling up so that they don't flash other parishioners... I mean, come on! Are you serious? If you can wear it to a club to draw attention to yourself, than it's more than likely not appropriate for Mass. That goes for mini-skirts, see-through blouses/shirts, extremely tight clothes, etc. Oh, and talking about things like bras during Mass, when you should be listening to the Homily, is also not appropriate. (Yes, last Sunday a young girl was talking about see-through shirts and bras during the Homily. She proceeded to also say that the Eucharist "tastes like nothing, like cardboard", among other things).

And while I'm on the topic of modest clothing and what modesty means, I'd like you to check out Modestia, A Maiden's Wreath, Maidens of Modesty (this one is not Catholic, but is Christian and run by one of my best friends). btw, A Maiden's Wreath had a book review on the fashion and modesty book "It's So You!" that I highly recommend.

For the record, and because I get asked this quite often, my definition of modesty varies from other people's. Some women say it's immodest to wear jeans and sleeveless shirt, and I don't. My motto is: If you can't wear something in front of a priest, or if you can't imagine yourself wearing in front of the Virgin Mary or Jesus Christ, then it shouldn't be worn. I don't think wearing jeans and sleeveless shirts (as long as they don't reveal too much skin) is inappropriate for every day life. As a self proclaimed girly tomboy, I fall somewhere between the Gap and Ann Taylor Loft. I love dressing up in dresses and skirts, and have a soft spot for vintage clothing from the 40s, but I'm also a big fan of jeans and tees when I'm just hanging out with my friends. I don't always wear heels (at 5'7" I'm good with flats) but I always try to look nice no matter what I wear. As for wearing spaghetti strap shirts, I do wear them but always paired with cardigan like this. I never wear anything too low cut, tight, or revealing. The last thing I want is to get attention from pervs. It's all about mixing and matching and doing it in a manner that's modest and cute. Definitely look at Modestia for more on that because Rebecca always finds some really good stuff and will always share with us girls.

Alright, I've rambled on as usual. lol. Sorry. All I can do is blame the writer in me. I have weeks worth of material that I want to write, and hope to eventually publish/post, but I can't say when just yet because school still has be busy as usual. That's what happens when you load yourself up with two Philosophy classes, a Speech argumentation course, and an English class. I do an exorbitant amount of reading per week. Anyway, before this gets any longer... I hope everyone has a great weekend! Thanks for reading, and for your emails. God Bless! :D

Just When I Felt All Alone...

Apparently, I didn't need the days I originally believed it would take me to sort everything out. In fact, it only took me a little over 24 hours. Yay! I do not like being stuck in emo-land. For someone who is happy a good 98.9% of the time, it's very hard and just blah to feel as miserable as I felt most of Wednesday and Thursday. To hear that my dad might potentially have cancer again, not even a year since being declared cancer free, really hit me hard. This entire week was absolutely horrible for me. I had a lot of huge decisions to make so I was already overwhelmed prior to this news. Ever since Sunday, when I went to check out the dorms, I've had to make the decision on whether to live away from home (for the first time ever) or to commute. I don't live that far from campus but the 405 freeway is a nightmare in the morning. I've had to re-think a lot of other decisions I had made before about a lot of things. I'm a little behind on my schoolwork so I've been trying to catch up on that. Just a lot of things have hit me at once, and it's a wonder I didn't have a massive panic attack.

I'll be the first to admit that, though it takes a lot to get me really upset, when I get very sad, I shut down. Sometimes I just need a hug from a friend or at least a little mini-rant that will help me get it out of my system. Sadly, I did not have that. I came to the very sad realization that I had no one to go to when I was feeling this way. I have the very unfortunate luck when it comes to this. Whenever I need someone to talk to, I don't have anyone... but when my friends need someone to talk to, I'm always there. I've even gotten text messages at 3 in the morning, which I've gotten up and talked to my friends because they needed me. I don't have that. My friends disappear when I need that kind of support... and it really sucks. Sadly, this has been a reoccurring theme for me. Except for a couple of people whom I barely know, mostly on twitter, saying that they were going to say prayers for my dad, I felt like I was all alone. I think you can imagine just how much that weighed on my mind.

So there I was upset because, even though I pride myself on being self-reliant and self-sufficient, I do need people to keep me sane... when I had two thoughts pop into my head. First, how incredibly selfish I was for feeling hurt that my friends were not there when I needed them. Not only that, but making this about myself. I should really focus on making sure dad gets to all the tests he needs to go to (which, btw, he's refusing) and just trying to make sure he's as comfortable as he can get.

The second thought was "Wait a second... what do you mean you're all alone? No, you're not!" My thoughts went immediately to how Christ felt the same way, like he was alone, crying out loud "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" when he was up on that cross. I'm not comparing myself to Him in any way. I'm just saying that at times when we feel like we're completely alone, we have to remember that we're not. I think a lot of us forget that from time to time, especially when things seem bleak. I haven't really prayed as much as I used to and I haven't been doing so great this Lent season. I definitely have legitimate excuses but there should be no excuses no matter what I'm going through. How I can expect to feel like I'm not alone when the one thing that has always made me feel happy has not been present in my life?

I've often found comfort and relief in prayer and in immersing myself completely in my faith. I've done it many times before. One of the best ways has been by praying the Rosary. I used to pray it many times a day, or at least once a day... and I haven't for months. I could be feeling just absolutely horrible but praying the Rosary will immediately make me feel close to Our Blessed Mother with God. I've been so out of it when it comes to my prayers (I've only said one novena to St. Philomena recently, an almost daily prayer to St. Dymphna, and occasionally a Rosary here and there), that it didn't even come into my mind to do this. It wasn't until I turned on my iPod touch that I realized this, because as soon as I turned it on the Rosary application on it opened. I didn't even touch the app, it just opened. If that's a sign, I don't know what is. That was my wake up call.

Once I realized what I was doing wrong, everything looked up. A few decisions were made, which I'm happy about. I still have the pressing "Should I live at home or not?" question on my mind because I need to submit the housing deposit this coming week but I'm sure I'll figure it out soon. Also, while my friends disappeared, my friend Misha, whom I've mentioned before, surprised me with a visit. As I've written before, this girl has gone through heck and back with me and I still think she's my rock. After many failed attempts of getting together whenever we're in the same city (when she's in L.A. we can't get together for some reason or I'm not in the U.S. when she is... and she's in London when I'm here), we finally got the chance to hang out for a little bit. I truly think God sent her to me when I needed a friend. I really do. She came over and we just talked... and laughed. It felt great to just let it all go. If you're one of my Facebook buddies, I posted a couple of pictures of us together. I look like a mess, but, hey, I wasn't doing too good up a bit before I saw her so it's okay. :)

Anyway, I think I've written more than I intended to. Sorry, it's the writer in me. I hope everyone has a great Easter. I'll probably write once more before then because it'll be the last I can before my last midterm on Monday. Okay, enough stalling from the studying. lol.

As always, thank you for reading and God Bless.

P.S. If you're in the San Fernando Valley area of L.A., Bishop Wilkerson is doing the Good Friday Service at Mary Immaculate in Pacoima at 7 p.m. tonight. Just thought I'd pass it along. :D

Our Lady of Guadalupe and Recent Crime in Mexico; Freedom and Volunteering.

I want to share with you a picture I took at my parish, after Mass, last Sunday. I love how they put this picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe next to the altar, with flowers surrounding her. I especially LOVED that they put the Mexican flag behind her. :D Dad said that the celebration, decorations, and flowers are 10x more ornate in Mexico, but that's to be expected.

Oh, and something interesting that we heard a priest say about Our Lady of Guadalupe and Mexico. As many of you know, Our Lady is the patroness of all the unborn children, in addition to being the patroness of Mexico and the Americas. Here's something that made us think: There has been a recently crime wave in Mexico. Innocent victims get killed. Celebrities get kidnapped and held for ransom.... or the get held up or robbed blind. Musicians are getting killed in broad daylight, in crowded streets. Mexican politicians are having accidents, getting killed, or are generally having misfortunes. People are genuinely afraid to go to Mexico because of all this. When did all of this start to happen? When the Mexican government signed the bill which made abortions completely legal for all women in the country! We hadn't even thought about that until we heard the priest say it. Then my father and I (especially my father who keeps up with news about Mexico) came to the realization that he was absolutely right! We thought about it and all of these misfortunes did happen around that time. Could it all possibly be a sign from above to remove that law? I honestly think it's no coincidence and that the government should really think about it. I don't want to even think about what would happen here if Obama does sign the proposed law that would make abortion legal. Let's all pray that that doesn't happen!

Anyway, moving away from scaring you poor people (haha)... I am officially a free woman! WHOO! lol. I finished my last final exam yesterday morning. I would've written yesterday but my entire body ached, including my head, and I was feeling crummy. I still feel kind of blah today, though much better than yesterday. It is no doubt the "residue" from my stress.

Speaking of anxiety, I miraculously did NOT have any panic attacks. I was very afraid that I would, given the amount of stress I had, but nothing. My shoulders and back had knots from the stress and I had some anxiety symptoms but no actual attack! Thank you, God! I will also say a BIG thank you to Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati. I started a novena and asked him for help to calm my anxiety down while doing my exams. I also asked for another important thing but I won't share that until it comes true (and I have a lot of faith and hope that it will come true). :D

Since I now have A LOT of free time until the Spring semester (which begins in February), I was thinking about what I was going to do. Finish the novel, read books, go watch my little "sister" Delaney in a production of Music Man (P.S. Happy 16th Birthday, De!)... but what else? I racked my brain as to what I can until I remembered the Advent: Saint Quiz I took on XT3 (Official WYD/Catholic Social Network site) a couple of days ago. The quiz is about how you celebrate Christmas and which saints you are most like because of it. My answer was actually tied between 3 different categories: "Mostly Bs: For you Christmas is a season of good will", Mostly Cs: You have a real devotion to the mystery of Christmas", and "Mostly Ds: For you, Christmas is a time to celebrate". I remembered that I really wanted to be most like Group B... in which Blessed Pier Giorgio was included in.

As previously stated in an earlier blog on what Bl. Pier Giorgio has taught me, I've been inspired by him to become so much more selfless. I feel like I've been very selfish and I want to change that. Because of that, I've come to the conclusion that I will donate my free time to doing things for other. This is Los Angeles... there are more than enough soup kitchens I can volunteer at. I've already put up a notice on my facebook to see if any of my friends want to join me. I already have one of my best friends on board and I hope others will want to as well!

I am not posting this as a way of saying "Ooh, look at me... I'm selfless. I should be admired!" Not at all!!! I do it in hopes that others will do the same in their towns/cities. With so much commercialism, people have started to forget the real meaning of Christmas. Volunteering at a soup kitchen, donating money, clothing, food, or other things to those who need it -- this is what this time of year should be about. Just think about this: Jesus was born poor, in a manger. Despite his humble beginnings, he did all he could for others. We, who have so much, have absolutely no excuse not to do the same. So, I honestly encourage you to do something... even if it's buying a sandwich for a homeless person.

Alright, I think this post should be long enough to last for a few days... or until I have more to write. :D I hope everyone is enjoying their vacation! As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

P.S. Check out Catholic Everything who were kind enough to contact me about joining their blog list. :D
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Palpitations and Pains in Church; Golden Crucifix Dream.

Man, I've had one doozy of a weekend. When I went to confessions yesterday, my heart kept beating as though it was going to jump out of my chest. It calmed down when I confessed but when I went to kneel in front of the tabernacle, it started right up again. I was trying to say the Act of Contrition and then say the amount of prayers Fr. Juan had given me but I just couldn't concentrate. My heart was beating with so much force that the St. Jude medallion (which I wear on a chain) was actually bouncing off my shirt. That's never happened and it was quite scary. I closed my eyes and said "Lord, if this is the work of the enemy trying to keep me from praying, please help me." I managed to calm down and concentrated after that.

Today, I went to Mass by myself (mom's battling a painful toothache and dad simply didn't "feel like going"). I was fine until I started getting these chest pains over my heart. I ignored the first one but when the second and third came I worried and left Mass. They were about to start with the Eucharist too. :( I was seriously scared because the pains burned. I only got about 5 pains before it stopped though. Still, I got home and I cried. After the ordeal I went through last year, I've remained very nervous about my heart. I think (and hope) it was maybe some heartburn or something. I'd eaten some hot (chili) chicken in the morning and then took a nap an hour and a half later. I woke up with my stomach all acid-y so I think that that's what triggered the burning chest pains. I haven't had any pains since, thank goodness. To be honest, I think I cried mostly because I left Mass early. I was scared about the pains but didn't get a panic attack or anything like that. Hopefully I won't get a repeat of it again.

I don't know what's going on but I think I'm definitely in for a fight. I haven't been praying as much as I used to -- either I run out of time or forget. I didn't go to Mass for two weekends (I was sick in bed the first week and had that midterm last Sunday) and confession for 3 weeks. That was also a first. I usually go to confession once a week... or at least once every 2 weeks. It's been that way for nearly 2 years now. I had to leave Mass early the last time I went, and again today. My parents have started refusing to go to Church with me. Oh, I'm definitely in for a battle but I'm not going to give up on these things! At least I'm still having my wonderful dreams.

A few nights ago I had this dream that I was left at the altar, in my wedding dress, by someone I cared about in real life a while ago. Anyway, I was really upset in the dream and then I found this golden crucifix. It somehow appeared in my hand, wrapped in a silk handkerchief. I was so happy to see it that I kissed it because I knew that it was a sign of comfort... and then woke up. I told a friend of mine about this and he said, "Well, maybe the golden Crucifix means that Jesus is always there. Gold is precious, so even though things go to custard, as you could say, Jesus is still there. So Jesus is your treasure." I think he's right. Lately I've been feeling just horrible at home and the lack of communications between my friends and I is starting to take its toll on me. I think that I just have to remember that I'll always have the love of God, and our beautiful Blessed Mother; especially when I don't feel it from anyone else. The dream was definitely a reminder of that... and that's such a comforting thought to have. :D I hope everyone remembers that when they're feeling down.

Alright, well, I have to work on some schoolwork. Yeah, it's a never-ending cycle of critical analysis and research papers. lol. I hope everyone had a great weekend!

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Cold, You are NO Friend of Mine; Dreams: End of the World (Again).

I think I have my first actual cold (not just cold-like symptoms) in nearly 3 years. Yes, you read that correctly. The last time I had a full blown cold/flu was in November 2005. You see? I'm pretty healthy, except for my anxiety. :D This blog won't be too long because I want to get back into bed soon. Hopefully my anxiety won't get worse. Prayer to St. Dymphna will definitely be said today! Mister Cold, you are definitely NO friend of mine! I missed my British Lit class yesterday... and my paper was due! UGH! But, trust me, I spent most of the day in bed because I felt like passing out. I only went to the hospital to get the heart monitor taken off. Hey, maybe the whole episode on Sunday was just a warning that a cold was on it's way. Ah!

I had yet ANOTHER end of the world dream. It's been quite a while since I've written about my dreams, eh? I've only had one dream about what happened after the world ended (which I wrote about a few months ago). Most of my dreams that are about the end of the world never get beyond what's happening as the world is ending. Only that one in April has been about what happened afterward -- walking through Purgatory and all of that with my parents and maternal grandmother. Last night's dream was typical except that it went a little further than usual.

In the dream, we looked up to the sky -- the sun was setting behind us and we could see the sky getting darker and all the stars shining like little diamonds in the sky. Then I saw three bomb explosions happening right next to each other in the sky. The explosions were very golden but think of the color of 10 karat gold. That light golden color. Then I saw something silver/metallic coming down from the sky and the earth began to shake violently. I remember going to grab the Our Lady of Guadalupe framed picture that's up on my way and then grabbing the St. Jude statues (kind of like what I do in real life when there's an earthquake) and hold them close to me. I remember seeing a life sized crucifix, with Jesus nailed to the cross. I remember it getting nearer and nearer but then I woke up. Yeah. It's been quite a while since I've had any dreams like that.

Dreams are just weird, man. I haven't told Fr. Leo any of my recent dreams but I know he's interested in them. As Fr. James once told me, my dreams are better than movies. lol. He's absolutely right. :D Hopefully I'll be able to chat with him once my cold goes away. I need to talk to him anyway, see if he can help me with something. :D

Alright, well, I need to get back to bed and drink plenty of fluids. I want this cold out of me as soon as possible. One positive thing about this cold, I have more time for prayer and for movies about saints! WHOO! lol. Hey, when I get sick, I find more time to devote myself to the Lord and prayer so I see it as a blessing... despite the gross feelings. :D

I hope everyone's doing well. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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Missing Mass; Prayer Updates: St. Timothy, St. Dymphna, & St. Martha.

I feel very childish today. Why? Because I cried when I found out I wasn't going to make it to Mass. Mom comforted me (as she always does) saying that things happen for a reason and that God knew that I wanted to be in Mass but couldn't.

See, I had my Oceanography class today. I'm taking a fast paced 8-week Oceanography course that meets once a week on Sundays. I had already planned on leaving early so I could make it to my usual Mass (last English Mass at my parish). Luckily, the professor let us out an hour early since it was the first meeting. I was excited because it meant we would be able to make it to Mass. We stopped at a Target on the way to kill a little bit of time. BIG mistake. When it came time to leave for the parish the car failed to start. Dad took some time trying to find a gas can and then to walk to the gas station. By this time, it was about 15-20 minutes into the Mass. I still had hope we could rush there and at least make half of it. Dad comes back with the gas and then... the car STILL won't start. He then decided to ask people if they would give a jump start to the car's battery in case that was a problem. Quite a few people said no until a woman took pity on us and brought her truck to help. I'm glad we had the jumper cables or else it might've been even more difficult to find help. We finally left the Target parking lot around the time the Mass would've ended. I ended up in tears on the way home.

So, as you can see, it was a pain and it wasn't like I didn't want to go to Mass, I just couldn't because of the car stalling. This is something I always do -- the tearing up. I always get really sad when I can't make it to Mass. *sigh* I'm even MORE bummed out than usual because I had dedicated the Mass as a thanks to Our Lady of Guadalupe and St. Timothy for their intercessions. (Though I will keep why I gave to Our Lady to myself. That's between her and I. :D)

For those of you who have read my blog long enough, you know how I suffered from an intestinal virus (which I got around the time I started traveling) a few months ago. It took about 2 months for it to completely leave my system. It totally threw my digestive system out of whack. I started asking St. Timothy for his intercession (since he is the patron saint of digestive and intestinal problems) and it started getting better. Thankfully, I'm back to normal now and my way of saying "Thank you" to St. Timothy was the Mass. Oh, and while I'm publicly saying thanks to St. Timothy (WHOO!) I want to update some of you on other miracles other saints have done recently.

To further prove how amazing St. Dymphna is (my anxiety is virtually gone now!), I have yet another miracle she's done for someone else. A few months ago, in May, I wrote about the husband of a friend/co-worker of my mother's (Roadtrips, Relationships, Tests, and Prayers Everywhere -- second to last paragraph). Remember how I mentioned he was suicidal? Well, they kept tabs on him and he actually DID read the prayer daily. It seems to have really helped him! He's back to his old self, pre-suicide attempts! It made me SO happy to hear that and I hope that others will see that prayer works! Depression, anxiety, panic disorder, etc; just pray for her intercession and St. Dympnha will help you out. :D

Also, St. Martha has helped my mom out a lot lately at work. Mom said both times she's asked St. Martha for her intercession, it seems like either the time has flown or like there wasn't much heavy labor work to do in the first place.

You can always go straight to Christ and ask him for help or you can find the saint that's the patron of a particular thing and ask them for their intercession. Either way, prayer works... and boy, does it! :D

Alright, well, I have to go read/finish "Beowulf" for my English Lit class tomorrow. Oy, I don't even want to think about how long the day will be. lol. :D I hope everyone had a nice weekend! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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100th Post; Queenship of the Blessed Virgin Mary; White Hispanic: Que?!

Happy Queenship of the Blessed Virgin Mary day! Yes, I've made it into my own sort of holiday! :D I think it's entirely appropriate (and I LOVE the coincidence) that my 100th blog post landed on one of her feast days because of the devotion I have to her and the Rosary. Also, something not a lot of people know about, my journal is basically letters written to the Blessed Virgin Mary. I write to her as if she were going to physically receive the letters. It's my way of keeping her in my life on a daily basis (or semi-daily; depends on my schedule). It's been suggested that I turn the journal into a book because of the content but it's way too personal for me to do that. Maybe in the future, when I've lived my life, but not now. So now my friends know what I'm writing (I write the letters by hand; my novels and screenplays on computers).

Anyway, I get VERY happy on the Blessed Virgin's feast days because of my love for her. In my opinion, she is ultimate role model we women can have. No, I take that back; not only for women but for all. She was selfless, caring, giving... and she still is. I've never heard of her denying anyone help whenever they've prayed for her intercession. Whether the prayers are to her as Our Lady of Guadalupe, Our Lady of Lourdes, Our Lady of Fatima, etc, she will never let us down because we are her children. Her love and compassion for us is boundless. I've felt a strong connection to her basically since I was born. I was baptized at the Church of Our Lady Queen of the Angels (here in L.A.) which is dedicated to her. When the big 1994 Northridge earthquake happened, the big framed picture of her (as Our Lady of Guadalupe) that hung in my room was the only thing (along with a picture of me in my first communion dress) that didn't fall off the wall. More about that here. There are more examples but you get the gist. I think it's because of the connection I feel with her that I started praying the Rosary. And, I have to admit, she's a HUGE reason why I stopped being an inactive Catholic (ie- not attending Mass) 2 years ago. St. Jude also gets credit here but our Blessed Mother was really the "force" that really got me back to where I am today. For that, I am truly grateful. I hope everyone takes at least a minute out of their time, today, to give thanks to her for all she's done for us. Even if you've never asked for her intercession, remember that she was the one who gave birth to, and cared for, our Lord Jesus Christ. :D What better day to say at least one "Hail Mary" or at least one Rosary decade in her honor than on the day we celebrate her being named Queen of Heaven and Earth, of angels and saints? Go on, take a break from reading this blog and say a "Hail Mary"... I'll wait. :D Done? Good!

Deviating from the loveliness that is Our Blessed Mother, I want to ask something to the readers of this blog. Are any of you, who were born here (in the United States) and are of Hispanic and Latin heritage, bothered by the term "White Hispanic"? I don't know why but that term kind of makes me cringe. I usually say I'm American but of Hispanic heritage. I don't know; maybe I'm too sensitive to the phrasing but, honestly, I don't see the point of adding "White" in front of the Hispanic part. And don't get me started on how sometimes people don't think I'm Hispanic until I speak Spanish. Many jaws have been dropped when I've done that. lol. Physical traits and skin color is not going to help you figure out where a person's from. And if y'all think I'm making it up, wikipedia has a page just on this topic. Yes, take what's written on wikipedia with a grain of salt because people can edit the pages but it sounds legit. Anyway, if you have any comments on that, don't hesitate to leave me a comment or e-mailing me at my gmail address (it's part of my profile). I'm curious to hear what others have to say on the matter.

Anyway, I'm off to finish doing my e-mail and facebook rounds (make sure I've answered all messages) before praying the Rosary. Whoo! :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!
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Back from Mexico! Whoo!

Ladies and gentlemen, I made it back in one piece! WHOOOO! Throw your hands in the air, and wave them like you just don't care! Mexico, I've conquered you. Sort of. lol. We were originally going to stay for a few days but since it was so close to my return to college and my mom's return to work (she's on vacation), we had to make it a day trip to Baja California, Mexico. 21 hours up (with only 3 hours of sleep that night), nearly 20 hours in and out of the car. *groan* But, I am HAPPY that I got to go because it was my first trip out of the country in quite a while. I don't mind that we waited an hour and a half to cross the border back into the States. I don't mind that we got lost about 4 times because my father still hasn't learned that I rarely get lost (and I've never been to some of the areas we were in yesterday). I don't even mind that people drive like maniacs and caused some stress (but thankfully not to me! whoo! Driving in large Mexican cities is NOT for the faint of heart). I don't even mind all the road construction and detours we encountered. I had fun... and mostly because of the banter between my parents and I. I tell you, when you put the 3 of us together, you'll bust your gut laughing. Last time we got on a roll, my stomach hurt so much from all the uncontrollable laughing, I had to beg them to stop. But, yeah, it was a lot of fun. The quotes of the day were both from my mother. She looked at my father and said "Your country is ugly (because of the amount of road construction there was)." and then her story about how when I was 3 years old, I told the border immigration guy "I was born in *insert hospital* in *insert district* in Los Angeles!" And when he asked me who my father was I pointed to my dad and said "He is!" Not only that, I said it very matter-of-fact and sassy. I was a very sassy 3 year old. Oy. lol.

I was pleasantly surprised by how many churches and religions displays there were all around Tijuana. Unfortunately, I didn't get to take many pictures because we were mostly in the car, driving with fear. lol. I did get some photos though.

This was a HUGE all white statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. You can find out more about it at this site I found. Sorry it's so blurry but we were quite far and it was taken while we were on an extremely bumpy road.


I saw so many beautiful churches, I'm truly bummed I didn't get a chance to go inside... or even stop and take proper pictures. I did manage to get a picture of this church, though I wasn't entirely sure if it was Catholic or not. It had an unusual design as seen here. (It's like a fan on its side.)


There was also this ginormous sign that read "Jesus Christ is the Lord" in Spanish on top of a mountain in front of a family friend's dental office.


I have a special place in Tijuana because it was where I was confirmed. While here in the U.S. you have to wait until you're in your mid-late teens to be confirmed, you can do it at a very young age in Mexico. I think I was one of the oldest being confirmed when I did mine. I was confirmed (although, at the time, against my wishes -- I wanted to be confirmed in the U.S.) when I was about 13 years old. That's also the reason why I don't have a confirmation name/saint. They don't have that tradition in most the Latin/Hispanic countries. I feel like I didn't get properly confirmed but that's another story. :D Anyway, I felt like I was getting little messages of reassurance by noticing all the churches around the city. I was a bit nervous about the trip but seeing everything just made me feel so relaxed and happy. It was fantastic. :D

Alright, well, I have a lot to do so a shorter blog today. Go ahead; celebrate the fact that I won't be writing a lot tonight. lol.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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You Know You're Catholic When...

Feeling better today, my dears. I still don't have much time to talk online but I thought I'd leave you these lists that I thought were hilarious... and so true. lol. The first list is from a now-defunct Catholic blog called LAMLand and the second is from a facebook group called "You Might Be a Hardcore Catholic If..." I hope you all enjoy the lists and have a chuckle. :D

You know you're Catholic when...

1. ...every time you go into your pantry you feel a strange compulsion to cross yourself and say, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned..."
2. ...guilt is your best friend, and you feel obligated to share it with others.
3. ...You genuflect before entering your seat at the theater.
4. ...if you only crave hamburgers and steaks on Fridays during Lent and you crave fish every other day in Lent... just never on Fridays.
5. ...if you sneak into protestant churches, sprinkle holy water, and hide blessed medals.
6. ...you can only recite the Creed when around large groups of people.
7. ...you make the sign of the cross when you pass in front of a Catholic church.
8. ...you hear the Angelus bells and begin saying the Angelus to yourself.
9. ...just about every special interest group in the country hates your guts.
10. ...you have an overwhelming compulsion to say, "And also with you," when Yoda says, "May the Force be with you."
11. ...someone says they're going to KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) and you think they are going to bingo at the K of C.
12. ...someone asks you your favorite Madonna song and you say “Hail Holy Queen.”
13. ...you hide anti-Catholic books in the library and bookstore behind other books on the shelf.
14. ...you have to remember which bottle has the holy water and which bottled has the water for drinking.
15. ...you know how to process, keeping two pews between you and the person in front, keeping lined up with your partner, walking without bobbing or swaying, and you genuflect on graduation day when you get to your seat.
16. ...you know at least 5 sins that can be committed against each of the 10 commandments.
17. ...you pray a Hail Mary when you hear a fire truck or ambulance siren.
18. ...all your children have saint names instead of names chosen from celebrities.
19. ...You have a rosary hanging from your dash.
20. ...you have a holy water fountain at your door and a religious picture and crucifix in every room.
21. ...your son calls home after being gone and the first thing you ask is have you been attending Mass.
22. ...one of your crucifixes has five years worth of dried out palms stuck behind it.
23. ...they know you at every Catholic bookstore in the area, and ask you where you've been if you haven't stopped by in a while.
24. ...you measure your life by the number of Popes who have come and gone.
25. ...after making the Sign of the Cross at the start of the Rosary, you say "Bless us O Lord and these Thy gifts..."
26. ...you spend the first five minutes of the day untangling your scapular from your Miraculous Medal.
27. ...you have a St. Christopher medal in you car.
28. ...you know more than 15 recipes for preparing tuna fish.
29. ...you refer to other religions as "Non-Catholic".
30. ...you carry prayer cards in your purse or wallet.
31. ...You know a family whose every daughter has Mary, or every son has John Paul either as the first or middle name.
32. ...your coworkers point out that you have something on your face and as they go to wipe it off for you, you duck and scream, "No, they’re my ashes!!"
33. ...you know when Advent and Lent begin and what day is Easter

You Might Be a Hardcore Catholic If...
-you've accidentally genuflected at a place other than church ex. the movie theatre, school auditorium
- you're sick of being asked why priests can't be married.
- you have a "favorite" religious order.
- you say the meal prayer no matter where you are.
- you have a Nativity set at your house during Christmas, and have also played with it.
- you've accidentally made the sign of the cross when leaving regular buildings.
- whenever anyone says "JPII" in your head you think "We love you".
- you know that Father Stan could take on Eminem any day.
- you LOVE the book Captivating and/or Wild at Heart (Even though they were written by non-Catholics).
- you know that Advent is the beginning of the new church year.
- you have a special place in your heart for Mother Teresa.
- you're more than willing to come forth with a valid miracle to help Mother Teresa become a saint.
- You know at least five people named Mary.
- You want to name one of your sons John Paul.
- you have a Mary statue in your front yard.
- You can name off all the Joyful, Glorious, Sorrowful, and Luminous mysteries.
- you consider your rosary to be your spiritual weapon.
- You've memorized the St. Michael the Archangel prayer and recite it when you feel tempted by sin.
- one or more of your friends entered the seminary or the convent.
- you have 20+ cousins.
- your mom is currently pregnant.
- you and your spouse practice NFP (Natural Family Planning).
- you believe in Purgatory and know it's important to pray for the souls who are currently in Purgatory.
- you get excited whenever Matt Maher releases a new album! Yea "Overflow"!!
- you think Scott Hahn writes the coolest books.
- you live chastity and are saving yourself for your future spouse.
- you're able to sit still for a full hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
- your idea of a great date is Mass followed by good conversation at a local coffee shop.
-You refer to John Paul II as John Paul the Great.
- you never leave home without your scapular.
- you are discerning the religious life.
- you often end disputes with, "Let's look it up in the Catechism."
- you and your friends have shown up at Adoration at 4:00 in the morning.
- when watching Star Wars and hear "May the force be with you" you respond with "And also with you".
- your mom always says "4 kids, Catholic".
- you have participated in sword fights using Palms on Passion Sunday.
- you've run into your Parish Nuns at a Cardinal's game.
- XLT is the big event of the month in which you invite everyone you know (in St. Louis that is).
- you and friend friends ever played "Mass" instead of House, or Cops and Bad Guys.
- You have your own designated seat at Mass.
- they know you at every Catholic bookstore in the area, and ask you where you’ve been if you haven’t stopped by in a while.
- on the night before the first Sunday of Advent you and your friends have a Liturgical New Year's Eve party, and count down to the new Liturgical Year!!
- you're named after a saint, not a family member.
- you know at least three awesome stories about Padre Pio.
- you get excited about going to Mass. (Side note: Oh, this is a big YES for me. lol)
- you arrive at Mass half an hour early to get a good seat and talk to Jesus.
- Redemptive Suffering gets you through sports.
- your mom always makes sure to celebrate your feast day.
- altar serving was the cool thing to do.
- You associate the smell of incense with major feast days.
- You attend multiple retreats per year.
- you point at your friends in line for confession calling them sinners and everyone laughs as you get to the end of line.
- Your teachers grade you down when you write papers about moral issues and papers involving God. (Side note: We'll see this semester. ;D)
- you've ever referred to yourself and your significant other as "a couple discerning a vocation to marriage".
- You and your many siblings went trick-or-treating dressed as Popes and martyrs.
- you feel compelled to make the sign of the cross after reciting ANYTHING... (happens after the pledge of allegiance almost every morning!) and then you catch yourself and have to remind yourself that it wasn't a prayer.
- If you have a priest come bless your house with holy water before you move in.
- You never eat before church, and brunch afterwards is always the best!
- Your first serious conversation you have with a potential girl/boyfriend involves your conversion story.
- You lie awake at night wondering why the St. Michael Prayer was removed from the end of Mass.
- The word "vocation" to you does not simply mean "job".
- People tend you look in your direction in class whenever anything involving religion comes up.
- You always have one or more saints on some part of your body.
- You have a Rosary or Saint Christopher pin in your car.
- One of your Crucifixes has five years worth of dried out palms stuck behind it.
- You would rather get your picture with the Pope then with a huge celebrity. (YES!)
- You have more than one Rosary hanging from your bed.
- You have contemplated being in a religious order at least once.
- Your one wish is to be able to ride in the Popemobile.
- you have a small family because most of your uncles and aunts are priests and nuns.
- you say "God bless you" anytime anyone sneezes, out of habit.
- You know the greatest way to start a date is with The Mass, because you'll have the greatest meal, Christ in the Eucharist.
- You know more about St. Francis of Assisi than "he was some guy who could talk to animals".
- you have had multiple meetings with the priest at your own will.
- all your pens and post-its say "Discover the Priesthood".
- You had competitions with your friends on Ash Wednesday to see who could keep their ashes on the longest.
- You still write "Your Kingdom Come!" or "JMJ" at the top of your page/letter/report/test.
- You find yourself asking all the cute boys whether or not they've ever considered becoming a priest instead of asking them for their number.
- You spend your Thursday nights at choir practice hanging out with people at least thirty-five years older than you in preparation for Sunday Mass.
- You mentally correct every textbook use of "BCE" and CE" with "Before Christ" and "Anno Domini". You also mentally capitalize every written use of the word "God" and "Mass".
- You know that some Catholics don't eat meat on Wednesdays or Fridays, even not during Lent.
- you live in the Vatican.
- you find that praying the Rosary is a good way to pass the time (especially at work).
- you get really excited over a holy day of obligation.
- if you are tired of people referring to the birth of Jesus the Immaculate Conception.
- you've ever been told my your mom, "Offer it up", and then felt very obliged to do so.
- when discussing possible names for your future children with friends or your future spouse, you start ruling out names that aren't virtues, saints, or biblical.
- you've ever thought it would be fun to read the CCC as if it were a novel.
- you instinctively grab the person's hand next to you when it's time to pray.
- you hug strangers at Mass during the sign of peace.
- when you hear someone's name read off, you think in your head "pray for us".
- you've ever ruled out dating someone because they weren't Catholic.
- you tell other people your last name, they begin spouting off names of people that you are probably related too.
- You plan what to wear based on the liturgical color of the day.
- You hold office hours at the Catholic Center/Catholic Student Center/Newman Center.
- You and your roommates have scheduled "spiritual nights" to discuss whatever issues of faith that are on your mind that week.
- You think getting a S.T.D. is cool...(S.T.D.= Doctorate of Sacred Theology)
- you held a Pope party (complete with Papal flag, and German beer) for the election of the B XVI (it was a Tuesday night).
- you were disappointed when you couldn't find a Catholic version of trivia pursuit. (Side note: OH YEAH!)
- When you tell the someone who your favorite musical artists are they have NO IDEA who you are talking about.
- When you hear the word Madonna, you think of the Blessed Virgin, not the song "Like a Virgin."
- You know that "prostrate" is not a place where men develop cancer.
- you convince your roommate that Jesus loves Him/Her no matter what religion they are.
- Instead of change, you find a rosary under your couch cushions.
- when you've said the Rosary outside a Planned Parenthood in protest with a Respect Life group.
- You look at this list and laugh really hard, because you know it's so true.
- you have at one point had to stop a younger sibling from playing in the Holy Water font.

I'm gonna add one to the list:
- You have an account on xt3.com (:D)

I'm sure there are more but those were all that are listed. If you have any more you'd like to contribute to the list, please don't hesitate to leave me a message either on here or through e-mail. :D

Alright, well that's all for now. Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Saint Dreams: Part... Well, I Lost Count. St. Benedict of Nursia, Our Lady of Lourdes and St. Bernadette.

I had every intention to writing about a few of the saint dreams I've had lately. If you've been reading this blog long enough, you know I have these saint dreams quite often. Fr. Leo, who was the first priest I ever told my dreams to, took an interest to them because (I am guessing) they are vivid and usually have nothing to do with what I'm going through in real life. Last night, I had one of those really scary (at the time) dreams that somehow makes me a stronger person in real life.

And, a little warning: The dream of Our Lady of Lourdes deals with a sensitive subject not suitable for younger readers to please skip over the beginning and start reading halfway down the paragraph.

St. Benedict: The dream I had last night involved St. Benedict of Nursia. I've mentioned him a few times in previous blogs because he's been featured in my dreams quite often. Usually, when I pray for his intercession in my dreams it's because there's something evil and I'm praying that I be protected from it. In the dream last night, I was somewhere in Northern Europe. I was traveling by myself when I bumped into one of my best friends and her family. After getting hugs from all of them (she has a lot of sisters and a brother -- shout out to her, who will probably read this :D), I decided to go upstairs to change. I didn't know if I was to go up the dark stairs or through the lighted hallway. A group of girls (whom I know in real life, but not personally) told me I had to go up the stairs, but that I had to run quickly because there were dark spirits that would try to hurt me. So, we all run upstairs... and as we did, I felt the most excruciatingly painful pains in my stomach. They burned, that's now painful they were. When we got up to the room (the only room the stairs led to), we found out that the girls felt nothing but that I had these massive lacerations all over my stomach. But before I could do anything, we got rained on with little tiny black bugs, almost the size of lady bugs. So, there the girls were, screaming about how disgusting it all was when I started to pray. I don't know how the bugs disappeared but I know that I began praying to St. Benedict while I placed my hands over my stomach. The girls just looked at me like I was crazy. Then, every time I started a new prayer, I was able to peel the wounds off... as if they were merely stickers. I told the girls that I would make believers of them (they didn't believe that prayer would work -- especially to saints). It was so weird, though. When I peeled the last cut off my stomach, I told them that I wanted St. Benedict to help me because it was the only way I'd make them believe in not only him but God. At the end, my belly didn't have anything... it was like nothing had happened. Then I woke up. I am leaving a lot of other details but that is the gist of it.

Our Lady of Lourdes: A few weeks ago I had a dream in which Our Lady of Lourdes had a huge part in a miracle. I was at this theater watching a play when I went outside to do something (I believe it was to call my father to pick me up for the theater). When I came back in, this guy said he wanted to talk. He (whose identity I will never reveal because he's a friend of mine in real life; weird, eh?) then proceeded to try to take advantage of me. So then I tried to tell others of what happened when the play got out but they didn't take me too seriously. Story of my life. Anyway, I left, obviously upset and somehow ended up in a humongous football (American football) stadium with friends. The guy came by to where we were sitting and said something about "Too bad, so sad" which really upset me. I somehow found out that he'd done the same to another girl and that she'd disappeared. So I tried to look for her but I was warned by some guys that I'd disappear, she like she did, and that no one would care. I didn't care and continued my search for her. I ended up near these white and sandy colored rocks, which were part of a cave-like thing entrance. I had a feeling she was there, so I looked up and this kind of rock arch outside the cave and she was there for a split second but disappeared. So I dropped to my knees, in front of all these people, took a white rosary in my left hand and raised it up to the sky and started praying for the girl. I closed me eyes and when I opened them I saw other people had gathered to pray for the girl as well. I looked up and saw Our Lady of Lourdes, dressed entirely in white, and smiled because I knew she'd grant me the miracle of saving the girl. Then, I turned to my left and saw the girl next to me, smiling gratefully at me. I got up and everyone turned around and saw that she'd appeared without anyone noticing. Then I remember saying... if everyone just prayed the Rosary and didn't care what others thought of their faith and devotions to prayer, that it would make things a lot better for everyone. Then I woke up.

St. Bernadette: Now, I don't remember exactly what happened (because this specific part happened towards the end of a dream) but I do remember that I was standing next to St. Bernadette, near the grotto. I turned around for a split second and saw we were in a completely different room (though I don't know where it was). Before I had a chance to ask, St. Bernadette grabbed my hand and ran out of the room with me, saying that I was not safe (the room turned into bricks and rocks and began crumbling) and that I had to leave. She pushed me out of the way of the rubble and then I woke up.

Some times I wish there was some device that could capture dreams because I feel like I do them NO justice when describing them. The images are so vivid and fresh in my mind that it's almost like I actually lived them instead of having dreamt them.

Can you believe it took me nearly 4 HOURS to write this blog? I got distracted by other things (like some kids breaking this huge window by the mailboxes -- sounded horrible as it was breaking). Yeah.

Anyway, that is all for now. I have confessions in a little while and need to get ready for that. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Dream about the End of the World

I just woke up a little while ago and I decided to write about this dream because I've been having a bunch of really interesting ones and this one has topped most of them.

I had a dream that the end of the world happened. But before that, I was involved with a love triangle. I was in love with a blond guy, whom a certain brown-eyed blond was also in love with. So the dream was her doing all in her power to get him and me just being shy and waiting for him to make his decision. In the end, things were looking up for us and then it was the end of the world. I suddenly saw myself up on a mountain/hill (can't remember whether it was high enough to be considered a mountain) and everything around was a soft red color (almost bordering on a light reddish pink). I started smelling a sweet strawberry-floral scent and I was confused for a second. Then we (my mom, who was at my side) saw people going up the mountain/hill and we decided to follow them... and that's when I knew what was going on. There were people around us -- I remember two young men in particular -- who kept saying that they didn't smell anything or see anything. That's when I realized that those going up to heaven where the only ones who could see and smell what we did. So, we started going up the hill (through what I realized was purgatory) and we were met by my paternal grandmother (who died in 2005, and whom I terribly miss) and my father (don't know where he was but he arrived to meet my grandmother -- his mother -- at the same time as us). So then I told my grandmother to go up with us; my dad also encouraging her to go up with us. She said something of the lines of "of course" and I don't remember if she said she was waiting for us, but I do remember that I had the feeling that she'd stayed behind in purgatory because she was waiting for us to get there so all 4 of us could go up to heaven together. So, my mom linked her arm with mine, I linked my right arm with my grandmother and my grandmother with my father and the four of us walked up to heaven together. Oh our way up, we passed a bishop, and other people, who kept asking what we were doing and why he couldn't see anything we could. That's when I realized that he was being left behind because he'd been corrupt and I immediately felt horrible for him. I was also VERY surprised that I was going to heaven because I've always felt that I was unworthy... and was even more surprised because my parents haven't gone to Mass regularly, or gone to confessions, and was thinking "How did they end up coming up to Heaven with those mortal sins?" (In real life, I should add, I'm trying to get them back to the church -- which I've made my mission).

As soon as we got in Heaven, we were separated according to what our mission was here on earth or what our job was. I was sent to one of the last lines where all the young people who were in the entertainment business (actors, musicians, and especially writers) were. There I saw a lot of people I'd recognized but haven't/hadn't met them in real life. There were a lot of 20-somethings, teens and little kids in the line. I remember the line was in between two aisles of books (looked almost like a library) in that area and getting out a tiny rose colored book of St. Teresa (though I don't remember if it was Avila or of Lisieux). I remember saying I wanted to see St. Teresa because I knew she was in Heaven and had a deep feeling that I wanted to finally meet her. Then I saw the certain blond guy I was in love with sitting at a table with a little blond girl named Lily (which is what I want to name my daughter). I don't know who she was but I had a feeling they were related. So then I heard someone, who was in charge of keeping everyone in line while we waited to fully go in, tell me that a big reason why I'd been sent to heaven without hesitation was because I'd been loved by someone (him) so deeply and honestly and that his love had won me a spot in Heaven. I wanted to be with him but I knew that he would wait longer to get in line even though he would've been in the same one.

So then came inspection to make sure that we were pure enough to go fully in. So they asked if I'd eaten seafood and I told them I'd had some crab a few weeks ago (which, in real life I actually did... and it was good! lol) and at first they were unsure if that would cause problems with the tests but then gave me the go ahead. While I was waiting for my folder to be pulled up (everyone had a file/folder that kept details of everything they'd done when alive), I glanced over to my sweetheart and the person behind the desk saw me and yelled at him to come over. He got up, with Lily, and started walking over just as I was ready to go into the final inspection room (where I was going to get all white clothing). That's when I woke up because my stomach growled and I was hungry.

Talk about an amazing dream! I've had dreams about talking to Pope John Paul II, various priests I don't know in real life, Jesus Christ himself, other saints, etc. Sometimes I wonder why I have these dreams. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind them at all! They are wonderful and often make me realize things I'm having problems with. I wonder if this dream is a sign of what I'm supposed to do -- since I've been so torn about what I should do. I mean, in the dream I was in the line where the young writers were... I was in love with someone who was so humble and selfless who loved me (maybe I'm meant to get married)... my parents had gone up to heaven and I'm starting to that that is another one of my goals in life -- to get them back to the church, just like I've wanted to do. I know we shouldn't read into dreams but it's so hard when I've had such an amazing dream. Never, in a million years, would I have guessed that something like this would've happened to me. It's amazing.

Alright, well, I think this might be today's post. lol. I am taking it easy for the rest of the day (and hopefully sleeping a bit because I am so tired) and don't anticipate doing much. If I do, I might save it up for a post tomorrow -- if I can write one, that is. :D

Okay, we'll I've taken far too much of your time already. Thanks for reading and God Bless.
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Vacation, Mass, Dreams, Pope Benedict XVI, and Prince Caspian.

I really don't know where to start... so much has been going on since the day I decided to go on vacation. Well, I should start by saying that I was VERY surprised when I saw the massive merit scholarship I was given. I was going back and forth between two schools but this scholarship has pushed me towards accepting admission to one of the schools. I am SO excited and have yet to celebrate it. I definitely feel blessed and like this was a sign from God that this is the school I'm supposed to be attending. I also feel like a prayer to St. Jude a year and a half ago was answered as well, in the form of this scholarship. I tell ya, prayer works! :D What a way to start my vacation, eh?

Speaking of my vacation... I had a little too much fun. I'm actually back for a bit but do plan on going back on going back as soon as I get another opportunity. I was filled with so much happiness and love during those few days, it really made me forget all the illnesses and stress I've gone through lately. I had a LOT of fun. I got reacquainted with several aspects of my personality that I missed. I was so happy about that. :D Most of those days were either spent lazying around or going out. I've actually gotten out more than usual, which I am so grateful for because I believe I was developing cabin fever. lol. I definitely recommend taking a mini weekend vacation if you've been overly stressed out because it can do wonders for you! I very reluctantly came back. lol. I honestly felt like I could stay on my vacation (which, by the way, was here in my own home and hometown -- Miss CNW style ;)) until the summer was over but I have too much to do. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted. :D

One thing I got to do on vacation was go to Mass... at a new church... sitting in the first front rows... BY MYSELF! Yes, you read that right! Thank God, I was able to sit through the entire Mass without leaving. He definitely helped give me the courage to do so. I did actually get a little urge to leave for a few minutes when I thought I couldn't breathe (anxiety symptom) but I held the Miraculous Medal in my right hand and looked up at the Cross during Mass and asked God and the Blessed Virgin Mary to please give me the strength needed to make it through. And I did! Thank YOU to both of them! And, I should thank the priest who made the Mass fun with his tasteful jokes. So, thank you, too, Fr. Alexander!

Maybe all the positive feelings I've been experiencing have caused me to take my faith A LOT more seriously than before (and I was already pretty serious). I understand what my little sister says about being so full of love for the Lord. I finally get it. I had a dream last night where my spirit was literally lifted up so high that I was able to embrace Christ for a brief second before coming back down to earth. It's been one of my the most beautiful/wonderful dreams I've had... especially lately. No words can describe how amazing it was. This is the second dream in less than 2 weeks where I've seen and come in contact with him. Hopefully this means I'm doing something right and that I'm doing just what He'd like. I don't feel like I'm quite where I should be, and I still have a lot to do for Him, but I think I've finally found the right balance to achieve these things. :D

Oh, and before I forget, I am SO excited that Pope Benedict XVI is in the U.S. I watched a video clip of when he was greeted at the airport and I have to admit that I shed a couple of happy tears when I watched him come out of "Shepherd One" (as the plane is being called). Hopefully I'll be able to watch things about his visit here through EWTN and Catholic TV.

One more thing before I end this blog... raise your hand if you're excited about the Prince Caspian movie premiere in a month! *raises both hands* Haha. I watched the BBC version of "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" when I was growing up, and that started my love of the series, so I can't wait to watch PC. As long as I get to watch the film and hopefully get inspired by it, that's all I ask for. And, all this reminds me that I should probably re-read the book before I watch the film. I haven't read it in over a year. Okay, I better go finish St. Teresa of Avila's autobiography before I do! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Teeny Little Update

Just wanted to check it with everyone. I'm sorry I haven't written much in the last couple of days. There really hasn't been much to write about -- boredom seems to have attached itself to me. I guess I should be grateful that I don't have much going on but I'm getting way too bored.

Just to recap what's been going on: there have been a lot of changes in my house -- lots of cleaning, lots of throwing things away and a lot of changing ways. Overall, it's a stressful (and that gets boring) yet productive thing. Only highlights of my last couple of days have been the rain we've been experiencing and also the Oscars yesterday. That's about it. lol.

Mom found a framed pictured of Santo Niño de Atocha that my paternal grandmother (may God rest her soul) gave to me when I was younger. I will hopefully have a picture of it tomorrow. I also found this frame picture of Jesus Christ (holding a lamb and being followed by other lambs) knocking on a door that my oldest friend (who I've known since we were little 5 year-old munchkins) gave to me on my 18th birthday. I have completely forgotten I had it. Picture of that also coming up, hopefully tomorrow.

Alright, well, that's my update for tonight. I still have a lot of to do -- a lot to clean up, a little eating to do, and also reading a bit of St. Teresa of Avila's biography before I get to bed. Have I mentioned it's 11 p.m.? Yeah. So much to do in so little time. :D

Until next time... thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Valentine's Day: Love, Romance, and Contradictions.

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. I usually refer to this day as "don't fall for the commercial/materialistic part of this holiday" day because that is what it's become. It is no longer about St. Valentine or anything like that. It's awful that there is so much pressure on people to buy their significant others expensive gifts on this particular day. For me, I've never needed a day like today to express the love I feel, and not just for my significant other. Since coming out of my late teens (those horrible, horrible teen years... *shudders*), I've focused this day on my family and friends. This year, I added God, Jesus and the Virgin Mary into that equation. Honestly, Valentine's Day is no longer a day where only the romantic relationships are spotlighted... or, at least, not for me. Spending it doing whatever with my friends (Spa Day with the girls or lunch with the guys) or watching a chick flick with my mom. I hope that no one thinks I'm bashing romance and love between a boyfriend/girlfriend or anything like that. Not at all! I'm just saying, people should really focus on the love for the other people in their lives on this day.

It's sort of weird for me to say all of that because I'm somewhat of a hopeless romantic. I'm a sucker for movies with happy endings. I root for the underdog to get the girl in the end. Most of my music (especially in the jazz and jazz vocal genre) is about romance. When it comes to films, movies, songs, etc... I'm all for the romance and just letting my imagination wander off and I get swept away but it stops there. I definitely do think about all that gushy stuff but I'm still realistic when it comes to my own love life. I've learned to separate fantasy from reality. I'm just a little ball of contradictions, aren't I? lol. I could get deeper into this subject but I like to keep that part of my life as private as possible.

I will say, however, that I've officially outlasted all the female members in my family in the marriage/baby department. I was chatting with my mom earlier today and we realized that I'm the only woman in the family who's made it past the age of 19 without getting married or having a baby. YES! I have also outlasted my brothers as well since I am a few weeks away from my 23rd birthday and once I reach 23 I've done it. I'm actually very proud of that fact. :D Everyone always thought I'd marry young (well, younger) because I was always a romantic at heart, but the older I get, the longer I want to wait. There have been offers but I've declined. I'm in absolutely no rush. :) If, however, I do meet the person I will eventually marry at a young age (and by that I mean before my late 20s) than I will. Right now, I have no plan on settling down until after I've finished my Master's degree and have my career done but that could all change. I have absolutely no control over the future. If I end up getting married before that, then, it was meant to happen. Either way, I will always be happy that I've outlasted everyone (my parents included). :D *does cartwheel to celebrate* :P

Oh, yeah... and last night I had a dream I was dating the R&B singer Chris Brown. SO RANDOM! I don't even listen to his music, I don't know anything about him and I only know his name because I've heard a couple of people talking about him (and he was a presenter at the Grammys last weekend). *shrugs* I also talked to a priest in my dream, defended Eldar Djangirov -- whom I met in the dream -- because I felt he was ROBBED at the Grammys (that stems from my real life reaction; his "Re-imagination" album was brilliant!) and I was also at my mailbox waiting for mail. Crazy dream! lol. I'm used to it, though.

I will not make my blog longer tonight because I am exhausted. That is also why I didn't write one yesterday. I've been sleeping for less than 6 hours every day (4 yesterday) for the past couple of days and I am so tired. Can a girl get a break around here? lol. I am actually planning on going to sleep in a few minutes, despite it being only 8 p.m. I've been sleepy all day and if I don't get my sleep on anytime soon, it will not be pretty. lol.

Alright, well, I hope everyone had a lovely Valentine's Day... even if you don't shate the same sentiments as I do towards the holiday. :D Thanks for reading and God Bless.