Following the Pope's Trip to Mexico as a Mexican American

I'm currently sitting crisscross (applesauce) in front of the TV in my living room as mom and I watch the meeting between Pope Francis and youth in Michoacan, Mexico. Dancers are dancing the typical dances native to Michoacan. While I'm not from Michoacan, part of my family (the maternal side) is. My heart sings with joy and pride knowing that the first Latin American pope is in the land of my ancestors.

I'll be the first to admit that I don't feel very Mexican. I was born, raised, and still live in Los Angeles. I identify myself as American. My mother jokes that she's more American than Mexican as well because she's lived here longer than she did in Mexico. We both seem to be more "modern" than how my more "old fashioned" father was. Though I've identified more closely to the American culture I've still gotten some of the Mexican culture infused into my daily life because my parents made sure I knew my roots. I think that's why I've been so riveted to our TV, following the Holy Father's journey.

I haven't been to Mexico in several years but some of my fondest memories from my childhood happened in Mexico, especially at churches in Mexico. I shared one of those memories during my second blog post (ever). On December 26, 2007, I wrote:

"I was actually very lucky to have visited him (Santo Niño de Atocha; the original statue) when I was about 11 years old (give or take a year or two). The church looks very humble which makes it even more stunning. I went with my parents and my paternal grandmother (may God rest her soul) to Fresnillo and Plateros as part of our vacation. I was happy but very tired because of the bus ride to and from Fresnillo. My grandmother, who was one of the most amazing women I've ever known, lived in a town a few hours from Fresnillo but she still made the trip with us. Unfortunately, I don't remember much of the trip because it's been about 12 years since the trip but I do remember feeling very excited and happy... and I still have the items my grandmother bought for us while we were there. I hope to go back to Fresnillo some day soon. I'll be the first to admit that I don't like going to Mexico because I always seem to get food poisoning or some sort of stomach virus when I'm out there (the foods are quite different from the ones in the U.S.) but I'd be willing to have a tummy ache or two if it meant seeing the Santo Niño again..."

8+ years later, it's still true. I would still love to go back and visit the Santo Niño de Atocha. I would love to go back and visit the church of St. Michael (Iglesia de San Miguel) in Miguel Auza, Zacatecas where my father and many generations of my paternal family was baptized and married. I would love to revisit the Cathedral of Zacatecas which I don't remember very well but my mom told me we've visited before.

My paternal grandmother -- the one whom I mentioned in that post -- is the one who took me to church with her when I went to Mexico. Well, my grandmother and my Aunt Lola. They both veiled (actually, I'm sure my Aunt Lola still does) and showed me the beauty of covering your head as a sign of love and respect for the Lord. It might not be for everyone but I can't imagine not veiling for Mass nor whenever I'm in front of the tabernacle or in adoration. As someone who has loved the Church since I was a little lady but had lapsed Catholic parents, I am incredibly grateful to my Abuelita and my Aunt Lola for sharing the beautiful Catholic heritage that runs in the family.

Watching Pope Francis in the land of my maternal grandparents (they're from Michoacan) makes me long to explore Mexican churches and cathedrals. Unfortunately, like many other Mexicans (especially those of us who were born and raised here), hearing about the violence and criminal activity makes us not want to go visit. It's a shame, really. I can still remember the beautiful architecture in the various churches we visited. I remember being absolutely enamoured by how the churches looked on the inside. I think I even left quite reluctantly a couple of times. lol.

Catholicism in Mexico has had its ups and downs throughout the centuries. Did anyone watch For Greater Glory? The Cristeros War was harsh. From what I've researched and learned, it seems like my paternal family got a good chunk of that craziness in their towns in Zacatecas and Durango. I think that's why I've hit a wall in my family tree search on that side of the family (stuck in the early 1800s) -- the anti-Catholic government had church records burned in the times of my grandparents. Despite all of that, the Catholic Church has still managed to thrive. Unfortunately, I believe that the rich and beautiful history of the Church in Mexico has been lost because of how hard younger generations tries to modernize the country.

Plain and simple, I fear that Mexico is losing its Catholic roots at a rapid pace. This is what I believe based on what I've seen from my own family and friends who still live in Mexico. Too many things of this world are given importance over God and the faith. It's sad because, as I said, there's such a beautiful history there. Just look at the story of how Our Lady of Guadalupe appeared to St. Juan Diego. I get goosebumps just thinking about it and not just because Our Lady of Guadalupe has been a big part of my life since I was a little lady.

As I watch the encounter between Pope Francis and Mexican youth come to an end, it's my sincerest hope that his visit to Mexico will light the fires in the hearts of Mexican youth (and, really, Mexicans of all ages) to grow closer to God instead of turning away from Him. I've cried more than once during his Holiness' trip because I've seen the outpouring love the country has shown him. Keep it up, paisanos! Don't let that fire die down!

Anyway, I'm just rambling at this point. I'm going to enjoy the rest of this broadcast on EWTN en Español.

I hope y'all are having a lovely week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

All Souls' Day; Dia de los Muertos

That is my father's grave marker after we decorated it for All Souls' Day. We were keeping the Mexican tradition of Dia de Los Muertos (my father was Mexican-American... Mexican born, naturalized American) in which add some of the person's favorite things, when they were living, to the grave. All foods and candles were strictly forbidden by the cemetery so we couldn't decorate it any more. Since we couldn't put a coffee cup, his favorite thing in the world after his cars, we added pinwheels which he thought were fun (he was a kid at heart.) One of them has the Mexican flag on it in honor of our Mexican heritage.

The day itself was a pretty deal for us, especially since this is the first time we really celebrate it. As soon as we found out that all the Catholic cemeteries in the Los Angeles Archdiocese were going to have Mass at 10 a.m., mom and I decided to go in honor of dad's memory. It also helps that dad is buried at the San Fernando Mission Cemetery so we would be able to visit him after the Mass without any problems. Of course, that meant that I'd have to miss my Philosophy course but I didn't care. I was going to go to that Mass and my love of arguing with my professor wasn't going to stop me. I am so happy that I made that decision because it was only one of most beautiful experiences I've ever had.

The Mass was... beautiful, and bilingual. I was able to pray and sing hymns in both English and Spanish. There were many priests, representing the parishes around the San Fernando Valley, including Fr. Stan (who was my spiritual adviser until he was assigned to a different parish) and Fr. James (who is the new Irish-American priest at our parish). The sat in the sun, while the rest of us were in the shade. They said the reason for that was that they were doing penance for us. God bless them; it was over 90 degrees Fahrenheit and the sun burned. The hymns that were sung were lovely and appropriate. "Ave Maria" was sung in Italian and I teared up a bit because the woman put so much emotion into the song. I loved that they really focused on what the feast day was all about. The presiding priest, Fr. Steven Guitron (of Guardian Angel Church in Pacoima), gave a beautiful homily in which he talked about souls, purgatory, and trying to lead saintly lives so that we can, one day, enter Heaven and be with the Lord. He added things in both English and Spanish that I wish everyone there understood because it was a lovely message. Mom and I both received the Eucharist at the Mass and it all just felt... so right. Before the Mass ended, they thanked us for going to Mass and praying for the deceased. They concluded with Psalm 55:6, "Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest." As soon as that was said, they let about a dozen doves fly, surprising everyone in attendance. Many of us, both men and women, shed tears at how beautiful it was. (btw, I'm well aware that I'm using the word "beautiful" a lot but I honestly can't think of a better word for this experience.)

After Mass was over, we went back to visit dad's grave (where we first stopped before Mass). On our way there, we passed Ritchie Valens' grave. My mom is a big fan of the song "Donna" so it was interesting for her to see where the composer/singer of one of her favorite songs was buried. After passing by his grave, and praying for his soul, we went to daddy's grave to decorate it. As you saw in the picture, we really decorated it and would've probably added more things if we were able to. We didn't add marigolds, which is the tradition in Mexican cemeteries because my mother didn't want to do. I did but I was vetoed for once. lol. As we were decorating it his grave, I thought about how much I was like... what I'd learned from him... how much I missed him... how much he would always be a part of my life even though he's no longer physically here. All in all, it was a great experience and I look forward to doing it every year.

Whatever you did for All Soul's Day, I hope you remembered all the loved ones you've lost and remember that they'll always be with you. As Fr. Steven reminded us at the Mass, we may not see them, but they're looking out for us... helping us (through intercession) as much as they are able to, much like saints and blesseds.

That's all for now. I hope everyone had a great weekend. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

Ups and Downs; Taking Care of Dad, Round Three; Holy Week.

Boy, I've had two weeks of ups and downs. It's been mostly ups, though.Some of the downers have included not being able to give my pro-life/anti-abortion speech for my Ethics class. The professor said there wasn't time, which really ticked me off because a fellow female classmate gave a pro-choice/pro-abortion speech and I wasn't even given the opportunity to contradict what she said. I worked hard on that speech, too. Grr. One day...

Another downer was that, even though I was happy to have dad home, I wasn't happy over the fact that he was still in pain. He said he'd been in pain for days so he came home early to go to the doctor's. Yesterday the doctor told him he has liver problems... which explains his lack of appetite and pain in his lower back. Not only that, because he's had problems with doctors before, 3 different doctor's have refused to treat him. The oncologist he had reported him for missing appointments (two) and now if he (heaven forbid) gets cancer for a third time, we'll have a difficult time finding him another oncologist. That's just going to make me a stressed out loony because I already had a hard time the second time around.

Unfortunately, I had absolutely NO help from anyone except my mom when my dad was diagnosed with cancer the second time around. The first time hr had cancer my mom and eldest brother did all they could because I was still in high school. Even then, I burnt myself out to finish HS a year and a half early (13 classes in 3 months -- even went 51 straight hours without sleep to finish the last homework assignments), so that I could stay at home and help my dad when no one else was home. This second time around, I asked mom to take care of things financially while I took care of everything else. Looking for a bilingual oncologist, making sure dad got to his chemotherapy appointments, spending hours on the phone fighting Medicare and Medical twice when they threatened to stop his chemotherapy, staying at home to take care of him when he was really sick... and while I had a full load at school. I'm honestly surprised I didn't have some sort of breakdown. I think now you guys understand why my anxiety was horrible last year and the year before. I pray to God that dad doesn't have to suffer through something life threatening again. I don't care about the stress it causes me; I can do what needs to be done, it's not a problem. It's the least I could do for him, especially after all he's done for me my entire life. Anyway, this whole liver problems thing just reminded me of the last time they told him he had cancer. I ended up going up to the San Fernando Mission to see if I could find a prayer card of St. Erasmus, whom I'm told is the patron saint of liver illnesses, but sadly they didn't have any. Still, I'll keep looking and praying that it's something that can be taken care of as soon as possible.

It's weird. I went from being happy that dad was home, and was incredibly happy with the beautiful chapel veil he brought me from Mexico (pictures to come as soon as I get them uploaded), to being worried about him. I'm just going to keep an optimistic look on things and pray for the best.

Something fantastic that happened this week was that, in the midst of my choosing which university I'd transfer to, I received packages and letters from the Catholic college where I'm technically a student at... one of which included a $10,000 scholarship. Not only that, I was surprised that I'm going to receive A LOT in additional grants. When it's all added up, it'll cover over half of my tuition for the year... and it's renewable every year as long as I keep my GPA where it's at right now. It pays to be a nerd! lol. With this, and with me potentially staying at home to take care of my dad again, it's like a sign for me to stay here. The other school I was considering was in England, though I don't want to say which one it was because I don't want anyone giving me a hard time about not going there. I'm hoping to win a few more scholarships so I won't be too much in debt by the time I finish my degree. Ready or not, here I come... and I still won't budge on fighting to keep the school Catholic.

Oh, and did I mention that I totally kicked tush on my Philosophy of Ethics midterm exam? I got my blue book back on Wednesday with a huge red "A" at the top. :D I've passed all my midterm exams thus far. I won't know how I did on my other exams until after Spring Break. It can wait. :D I'm just happy all the cramming I did for my Ethics midterm, that wasn't on St. Thomas Aquinas, paid off. Whoo!

And to keep the happiness going before I end the post... who is looking forward to Holy Week? I certainly am! I'm happy to be able to go to confessions this Saturday (don't know why people complain about doing this), going to Palm Sunday early Sunday morning, and then celebrating Holy Week (including going to church on Holy Thursday) with my brand new chapel veil. That's right, I'm wearing it to the upcoming Masses and I don't care what anyone thinks. *snap* lol. :D I have MANY things planned during the week, which is why I might not post that often once again. It's all for a good cause though. :D

Okay, I've written too much... as usual. I'll try to write more often to make sure the posts don't get this long again. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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Our Lady of Guadalupe and Recent Crime in Mexico; Freedom and Volunteering.

I want to share with you a picture I took at my parish, after Mass, last Sunday. I love how they put this picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe next to the altar, with flowers surrounding her. I especially LOVED that they put the Mexican flag behind her. :D Dad said that the celebration, decorations, and flowers are 10x more ornate in Mexico, but that's to be expected.

Oh, and something interesting that we heard a priest say about Our Lady of Guadalupe and Mexico. As many of you know, Our Lady is the patroness of all the unborn children, in addition to being the patroness of Mexico and the Americas. Here's something that made us think: There has been a recently crime wave in Mexico. Innocent victims get killed. Celebrities get kidnapped and held for ransom.... or the get held up or robbed blind. Musicians are getting killed in broad daylight, in crowded streets. Mexican politicians are having accidents, getting killed, or are generally having misfortunes. People are genuinely afraid to go to Mexico because of all this. When did all of this start to happen? When the Mexican government signed the bill which made abortions completely legal for all women in the country! We hadn't even thought about that until we heard the priest say it. Then my father and I (especially my father who keeps up with news about Mexico) came to the realization that he was absolutely right! We thought about it and all of these misfortunes did happen around that time. Could it all possibly be a sign from above to remove that law? I honestly think it's no coincidence and that the government should really think about it. I don't want to even think about what would happen here if Obama does sign the proposed law that would make abortion legal. Let's all pray that that doesn't happen!

Anyway, moving away from scaring you poor people (haha)... I am officially a free woman! WHOO! lol. I finished my last final exam yesterday morning. I would've written yesterday but my entire body ached, including my head, and I was feeling crummy. I still feel kind of blah today, though much better than yesterday. It is no doubt the "residue" from my stress.

Speaking of anxiety, I miraculously did NOT have any panic attacks. I was very afraid that I would, given the amount of stress I had, but nothing. My shoulders and back had knots from the stress and I had some anxiety symptoms but no actual attack! Thank you, God! I will also say a BIG thank you to Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati. I started a novena and asked him for help to calm my anxiety down while doing my exams. I also asked for another important thing but I won't share that until it comes true (and I have a lot of faith and hope that it will come true). :D

Since I now have A LOT of free time until the Spring semester (which begins in February), I was thinking about what I was going to do. Finish the novel, read books, go watch my little "sister" Delaney in a production of Music Man (P.S. Happy 16th Birthday, De!)... but what else? I racked my brain as to what I can until I remembered the Advent: Saint Quiz I took on XT3 (Official WYD/Catholic Social Network site) a couple of days ago. The quiz is about how you celebrate Christmas and which saints you are most like because of it. My answer was actually tied between 3 different categories: "Mostly Bs: For you Christmas is a season of good will", Mostly Cs: You have a real devotion to the mystery of Christmas", and "Mostly Ds: For you, Christmas is a time to celebrate". I remembered that I really wanted to be most like Group B... in which Blessed Pier Giorgio was included in.

As previously stated in an earlier blog on what Bl. Pier Giorgio has taught me, I've been inspired by him to become so much more selfless. I feel like I've been very selfish and I want to change that. Because of that, I've come to the conclusion that I will donate my free time to doing things for other. This is Los Angeles... there are more than enough soup kitchens I can volunteer at. I've already put up a notice on my facebook to see if any of my friends want to join me. I already have one of my best friends on board and I hope others will want to as well!

I am not posting this as a way of saying "Ooh, look at me... I'm selfless. I should be admired!" Not at all!!! I do it in hopes that others will do the same in their towns/cities. With so much commercialism, people have started to forget the real meaning of Christmas. Volunteering at a soup kitchen, donating money, clothing, food, or other things to those who need it -- this is what this time of year should be about. Just think about this: Jesus was born poor, in a manger. Despite his humble beginnings, he did all he could for others. We, who have so much, have absolutely no excuse not to do the same. So, I honestly encourage you to do something... even if it's buying a sandwich for a homeless person.

Alright, I think this post should be long enough to last for a few days... or until I have more to write. :D I hope everyone is enjoying their vacation! As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

P.S. Check out Catholic Everything who were kind enough to contact me about joining their blog list. :D
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St. Cecilia; Novena Keeps Working

Happy St. Cecilia Feast Day! St. Cecilia holds a special place in my heart. Since they don't have confirmation saints in Mexico (where I was confirmed; the only Sacrament of Christian initiation I didn't receive in Los Angeles), I consider St. Cecilia my confirmation patron saint; because I was confirmed at a church of which she is patron saint. (If you've read the blog long enough you've heard how I would've preferred to wait to do my confirmation here in L.A. when I was older, instead of doing it at around 13... so I won't repeat it.) She has an amazing story.

Taken from the SQPN St. Cecilia page:
"Cultivated young patrician woman whose ancestors loomed large in Rome's history. She vowed her virginity to God, but her parents married her to Valerian of Trastevere. Cecilia told her new husband that she was accompanied by an angel, but in order to see it, he must be purified. He agreed to the purification, and was baptized; returning from the ceremony, he found her in prayer accompanied by a praying angel. The angel placed a crown on each of their heads, and offered Valerian a favor; the new convert asked that his brother be baptized.

The two brothers developed a ministry of giving proper burial to martyred Christians. In their turn they were arrested and martyred for their faith. Cecilia buried them at her villa on the Apprian Way, and was arrested for the action. She was ordered to sacrifice to false gods; when she refused, she was martyred in her turn.

The Acta of Cecilia includes the following: "While the profane music of her wedding was heard, Cecilia was singing in her heart a hymn of love for Jesus, her true spouse." It was this phrase that led to her association with music, singers, musicians, etc."

I love St. Cecilia! I truly do. :) I think the fact that she's the patron saint of musicians and singers, and the fact I'm so passionate about music -- and used to be a singer around the time I did my confirmation, is perfect. Oh man! I just realized something about the female protagonist in my novel that has a connection to St. Cecilia. Whoa, I didn't even do it purposely! That's so cool! *goes off into own thoughts*

Okay, coming back to reality... lol... I can attest that the Infant Jesus of Prague novena that I mentioned yesterday definitely worked! The real test was last night. If I don't eat properly a few hours before bed, I will NOT make it more than 4 hours through the night. I went to sleep at nearly 2 in the morning (watching a movie... heehee) and woke up a bit after 9 a.m... and I wasn't feeling sick like I would've normally felt. YES! :D

Alright, well, I am going to go do something productive. Don't know if that means homework or working on the novel, but it'll be one or the other. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

P.S. Have you voted on the poll yet? You should, if you haven't!
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Back from Mexico! Whoo!

Ladies and gentlemen, I made it back in one piece! WHOOOO! Throw your hands in the air, and wave them like you just don't care! Mexico, I've conquered you. Sort of. lol. We were originally going to stay for a few days but since it was so close to my return to college and my mom's return to work (she's on vacation), we had to make it a day trip to Baja California, Mexico. 21 hours up (with only 3 hours of sleep that night), nearly 20 hours in and out of the car. *groan* But, I am HAPPY that I got to go because it was my first trip out of the country in quite a while. I don't mind that we waited an hour and a half to cross the border back into the States. I don't mind that we got lost about 4 times because my father still hasn't learned that I rarely get lost (and I've never been to some of the areas we were in yesterday). I don't even mind that people drive like maniacs and caused some stress (but thankfully not to me! whoo! Driving in large Mexican cities is NOT for the faint of heart). I don't even mind all the road construction and detours we encountered. I had fun... and mostly because of the banter between my parents and I. I tell you, when you put the 3 of us together, you'll bust your gut laughing. Last time we got on a roll, my stomach hurt so much from all the uncontrollable laughing, I had to beg them to stop. But, yeah, it was a lot of fun. The quotes of the day were both from my mother. She looked at my father and said "Your country is ugly (because of the amount of road construction there was)." and then her story about how when I was 3 years old, I told the border immigration guy "I was born in *insert hospital* in *insert district* in Los Angeles!" And when he asked me who my father was I pointed to my dad and said "He is!" Not only that, I said it very matter-of-fact and sassy. I was a very sassy 3 year old. Oy. lol.

I was pleasantly surprised by how many churches and religions displays there were all around Tijuana. Unfortunately, I didn't get to take many pictures because we were mostly in the car, driving with fear. lol. I did get some photos though.

This was a HUGE all white statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. You can find out more about it at this site I found. Sorry it's so blurry but we were quite far and it was taken while we were on an extremely bumpy road.


I saw so many beautiful churches, I'm truly bummed I didn't get a chance to go inside... or even stop and take proper pictures. I did manage to get a picture of this church, though I wasn't entirely sure if it was Catholic or not. It had an unusual design as seen here. (It's like a fan on its side.)


There was also this ginormous sign that read "Jesus Christ is the Lord" in Spanish on top of a mountain in front of a family friend's dental office.


I have a special place in Tijuana because it was where I was confirmed. While here in the U.S. you have to wait until you're in your mid-late teens to be confirmed, you can do it at a very young age in Mexico. I think I was one of the oldest being confirmed when I did mine. I was confirmed (although, at the time, against my wishes -- I wanted to be confirmed in the U.S.) when I was about 13 years old. That's also the reason why I don't have a confirmation name/saint. They don't have that tradition in most the Latin/Hispanic countries. I feel like I didn't get properly confirmed but that's another story. :D Anyway, I felt like I was getting little messages of reassurance by noticing all the churches around the city. I was a bit nervous about the trip but seeing everything just made me feel so relaxed and happy. It was fantastic. :D

Alright, well, I have a lot to do so a shorter blog today. Go ahead; celebrate the fact that I won't be writing a lot tonight. lol.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Mass with Mariachi; (Possible) Nun Fighting Crime.

Early blog tonight because I have movie night with my mom this evening, not to mention a zillion other things to do before my extremely hectic day tomorrow. Seriously, if I make it through the chaos that is tomorrow, I can make it through anything! :D

I don't know if I mentioned it but my plans to have dad come to Mass with me hit a snag last Sunday. He felt that we (mom and I) were pressuring him to attend Mass and he refused. Yup, I'm definitely his daughter! lol. (I also become stubborn and refuse to do things when pressured). Anyway, he attended Mass with me today (whoo!) which was awesome... even though we got there at least 5 minutes late. Hey, I was ready on time but I am not the one in this household who can drive the car (the steering wheel is impossible for someone as small as me) so I had no other choice than to wait for dad to be ready. But, the important thing is that we made it to Mass! :D Next weekend, I hope to have both of my parents there with me (mom worked today). Anyway, today's Mass was in English BUT we had a mariachi band there, which made Mass ah-mazing! I believe they are a traveling Mariachi band from Tijuana, BC, Mexico. Their outfits are awesome -- with Our Lady of Guadalupe's image sown onto their shirts. It was kind of funny, though, because it was a Mass said in English but with Spanish hymns being sung. Probably more than half of the congregation didn't sing today because not all of us were bilingual. Oh man, the laughter I had to keep in... lol. It was fantastic though. I loved it. :D I highly recommend attending a Spanish Mass at least once in your lifetime, even if you don't understand Spanish, just to see what the vibe is like. It's totally unlike the English Masses. :D

I had to ask a good friend of mine if I could share the story of a conversation we had not too long ago (he said yes). We were discussing classes (since we'll be attending the same college for the next year; we'll both be done next summer) and I said something along the lines of how it was safe to say that I was probably the only person he knew who was majoring in Religious Studies. That led to talk about how we would have interesting philosophical conversations... and how he would know a nun (I mentioned I was thinking about considering the vocation since I still don't know what my vocation is). That then led to a conversation about how he would be fighting crime, injustice, evil, etc; and how he would need me (as a nun) to help him out. We would be kind of like super heroes. lol. I don't remember specific details about the rest of the conversation but it was hilarious. I can always count on my friends to make me laugh when I need cheering up. :D So, yeah, if it's my vocation to become a sister or nun and you hear of one who fights crime with her pseudo-brother (I call him my bro sometimes :D), that might be me. Of course, I say this with respect and without offense to those who are called to the vocation of religious life. I have nothing but the utmost respect for them. :D

Alright, well, I have quite a few forms to fill out for my (more than likely) exhausting day tomorrow so I should get to that so I can enjoy the rest of my evening. :D Oh, and I have been incredibly inspired lately so I am going to knock out quite a number of pages for my novel as well. It all makes me want to make a conga line as a form of celebration. lol.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.

P.S. A special hello to all my friends who are happy to see the "old" me back -- the me that was "Wonder Woman" prior to my anxiety debilitating me. :D Yeah, baby! lol.
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Ash Wednesday, Lent, Football Internationals and Elections.

Ash Wednesday has come and gone. I, unfortunately, didn't even make it to my local parish (which is about 2 minutes away) because I was in bed all day today. Dizzy feelings, a lot of fatigue, nausea, etc... not a pretty picture. I don't think I would've had the strength to wait in line to get my ashes if I had gone to church. :( I was looking for to it, too. So, this marks the second year in a row I haven't received ashes on Ash Wednesday and it's sad. :( Last year, my dad was really sick with his chemo so we couldn't do anything. This year I was sick, mom has another severe cold so she's been sleeping whenever she can and dad has his at-home chemo so he isn't completely able to do much either. Bah! Luckily, it isn't mandatory to have ashes but still... it doesn't make me feel right for some reason. :( Next year will (hopefully) be better because there's an actual chapel on campus and they hold masses and everything so I can just walk from my dorm room to the chapel. :D

Today, (well, technically yesterday because it's past midnight) Lent began. I tried my hardest to fast for as long as I could... which was 11 hours and 45 minutes. I tried to make it to noon but I began to feel reeeally sick and I said "Forgive me Lord, but I have to eat or else I will get even more sick." I didn't eat meat (yay!) and had to remind my mom not to even eat chicken. Technically, we're all excused from fasting (dad's over 60 and mom and I both have that thing where we have to eat every 2-3 hours or else we get sick -- it's genetic) but I tried to do a bit of it. Now, I have to eat and eat because of those hours I didn't eat. I have a busy day later today which is why I am trying to regain some of the strength I lost from the mini-fast. Blah.

Oh, and I watched my last football (soccer) matches today (err, yesterday) because I didn't give up international matches, but I will not watch ANY of the Liverpool FC matches... which is the hardest thing because they are playing Chelsea this weekend and it's going to be one of those games you can't miss. Bah! lol. Well, at least I got to see pretty good games. England beat Switzerland 2-1 (whoooo!) and Mexico and the U.S. tied. I'm neutral when it comes to those teams so I was fine with the 2-2 draw. I was excited to see Steven Gerrard as England captain because I am a sucker when it comes to him. lol. The USA-Mexico game was good because it was a lot more physically aggressive... especially when one of the Mexican players and Tim Howard (the U.S. goalkeeper) started kicking and pushing each other down. Oh man... the rivalry between these two teams is insane. Dad managed to watch most of the game (in between dosing off and trying to stay awake) just because he loves "how bad the Mexican team has gotten." Watching the game with dad was seriously the highlight of my day because he and I crack up over the dumbest things. lol.

Before I wrap up my blog for today (I am hungry and it's nearly 1 a.m.)... I would like to say that I didn't vote for their candidate that won California. That's right, I didn't vote for McCain or Clinton. Personally, I'd love to see Huckabee win the Republican nomination. For the Democratic side, Obama is (in my opinion) the better candidate. Ultimately, I would like to see Huckabee as president. I am technically registered as a Democrat but that's because when I registered at 18, I was very liberal with politics. Now that I've gotten back to everything, I'm more moderate than anything(not too liberal but not too conservative) so I'm going to be changing my political party... mostly likely to Independent. I do consider myself to be closer to the Republican party but I don't always agree with what the candidates have to offer so I'd like to be able to vote either way. If anyone wants to sway me to go completely Republican or Democrat, please be my guest... you can post a comment below. :D

Alright, well... I have to get up early tomorrow for an appointment and then run some errands so I could quit writing for tonight and get some food in my tummy before I call it a night. Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Fat Tuesday, Back to the Hospital and Old Friends.

I have eating as much meat as I could today because tomorrow is the first day of Lent and that means no meat! My mom made these really good spicy pork chops and dad made chicken soup so... WHOO! lol. I know I'm excused from fasting because I'm sick (I made sure I knew if I was excused) but I still won't eat meat tomorrow or on Fridays. I actually am fasting for the first 12 hours of the day (I am going to be eating until 11:59 p.m. tonight) but that won't seem like a big deal because I will be sleeping for about 9 - 10 of those hours. lol. I usually don't eat much meat in the first place so abstaining for meat isn't a big deal for me. I have other things to eat. :D I bet restaurants love today because they know the day before Lent is the day everyone goes out and eats all these delicious foods we have to give up for 40 days. ;)

I didn't do much today. I went to vote for the candidate I believe would be a great president and then came home and waited 'til I had my doctor's appointment. I was surprisingly mellow today, in terms of not worrying about the appointment, but I should've probably been nervous because I found out something that made me wig out for a few minutes. I actually went in for one thing but the doctor decided to check something else while she had be there and she discovered something on my right side, which I will have to get an ultrasound for. *groans* So, it's back to the hospital to get more tests done, more blood drawn, and more stress put on me. I have a feeling one of my best friends isn't going to be too happy with this added stress I was given because he's trying to keep me relaxed. Sorry hun! While I was on the verge of tears when I first got the word, I am very calm right now. I don't know why. I mean, this thing could potentially be (God forbid) breast cancer (and, yes, it's possible even at my age) but I think I've dealt with so many of these things that I know I shouldn't jump to conclusions. I am not going to make myself more anxious by worrying about it. I'm just going to pray to God that it all come out alright and that it's nothing I can't handle. Okay, I'm a little scared and nervous but at least I'm not going crazy. At least, not yet. lol. See? I'm trying to keep my sense of humor. *sigh*

I could sit here and do the whole "Why me? Why again? Haven't I suffered enough?" bit but I don't see a point in doing it. I always say that God never gives us things we can't handle so I'm not even going to start questioning it. I'm just going to look at it as yet another thing that will keep me on track with my faith and that will make my bond with God that much stronger. I'm just going to focus on my anxiety (because THAT is the thing I am most worried about) and also focus on getting in touch with old friends.

A few nights ago I had a dream about old friends from a former school of mine. Yesterday I decided to try to get in touch with them again (by the by, they're all guys :D). These 3 guys are some of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. They'd walk me to classes (not all of them though, lol), they'd walk me to my car to help me with the creepy weirdos that used to follow me, we used to hang out when we could... these guys were/are just awesome. I missed them and this dream sort of made me realize it. Today I talked to one of them for a bit, which was awesome. He doesn't live too far so hopefully we'll get a chance to hang out before he moves away. Hopefully their girlfriends (yes, all 3 have girlfriends) don't mind me getting in contact with them again. I'm just trying to see how the guys are; I come in peace. lol. Besides, I'm not "on the market" so they have nothing to worry about. :D I love getting in touch with old friends... which is what I have been doing a lot of lately. Last year, it was childhood friends (and all boys, too, lol) who found me. This year, I'm putting the effort in touching base with some of my friends from a while back. :D All of this reminds me... I need to e-mail Mr. Navy (a friend I've known since kindergarten) about an old picture I found from when we were 5 years old. I bet he'll get a kick out of it. :D

Alright, well, it's nearly 11 p.m. so I have about an hour left to completely stuff myself before I can't eat anything anymore. lol. By the way, this 12 hour fast is something my dad told me about. They used to fast for the first 12 hours of Ash Wednesday in Mexico (at least, the part his family's from) so that is where I got the idea. I will have to talk to one of the priests about the other fasting days soon; I didn't get a chance to talk to them today.

As usual, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Big Brother, Post Office Mayhem, and Semester Abroad.

Today was a very happy day because my big brother came to pay a surprise visit. It was funny; just as my dad was leaving and walking out the door, my bro just popped up and said hi. Heehee. He also came bearing gifts from his holiday vacation in Mexico. He spent a few weeks visiting family out there. It's always nice to hear how everyone's doing 'cause I haven't been out there since I was about 12 years old. He says that, unfortunately, it's getting worse in terms of crime and police violence. It's so sad to hear that because (where my dad's from) it's such a quaint little town with the most beautiful church and town square. Sounds like we should avoid visiting, though, because it's not safe. Hopefully things will get better when/if I decide to go visit my dad's side of the family. It's incredibly sad that we don't just hear about what's going from family; we hear it on the news all the time. :( Let's just hope the little town doesn't super crowded with people (at least, not bad people) like a certain post office I know.

I don't know what's going on with the post office. Last October, I had an invite (from the U.K.) to an event but it arrived a month after the event. I should probably mention that it was sent in advance, too. One of my best friends, who's also in the U.K., sent me a Christmas card and it's been 3 weeks and I haven't gotten anything. That's not all. Last month (and the month before) we didn't get our mail delivered for weeks and I'd have to call and complain. I hate being a hassle but I had important things like bills that needed to be paid. The person in charge of mail distribution got to know me very well from all the calling I did. lol. They were never mad at me for doing it, which is good. If you want to go to the post office near my home it's better to do it mid-morning when there's no people because it gets PACKED very early and in the afternoon. I had to send some packages today and the line was to the door and then it looped around a bit. It was insane. It didn't help that it was freezing outside. Luckily I was dressed warm enough not to stand there shaking but, oy! It's always a nightmare going there because of the long lines. I have to go back tomorrow (oh yes, more packages to send) and I am not exactly looking forward to it. Hopefully I can go earlier... and this time I won't wear my stiletto boots. I only had them on for about 30 minutes but my feet aren't too happy with me. lol. I'm not used to heels (haven't worn any since New Year 2007) but those boots are so warm... I made the sacrifice. lol.

Another sacrifice I will be making in a couple of months... leaving my beloved Queen sized bed for a semester abroad. Oh, dear comfy bed, I shall miss you. lol. It's going to be completely worth it, though. I am mostly likely going to head out to Europe (I still have to choose a school and let them know a.s.a.p.) It looks like I'm mostly likely going to head out to Rome because of my major (Religious Studies with an emphasis on Catholicism). I am going to have to brush up on my Italian -- and learn some self defense, lol -- but being that close to the Vatican is going to be worth it. I was actually planning on going out there once I graduated but now I have the perfect opportunity/excuse to go beforehand so... Score! lol. I also want to take a trip up to Assisi while I'm out there. I'm now a little too excited now. lol. I think I'm going to go do a happy dance so I'm going to end this blog now.

Hope everyone's keeping warm. Thanks for reading and God Bless.

Chemo + Cold = Bad, LFC Wins & My First Favorite Saint.

It is very cold today and has been freezing (but remember that my definition of freezing might be different from yours) all day. I just got up for a long nap and getting up from my warm bed took me some time to actually do. Normally I like this weather and will drink tea or eat something warm to make me feel better but this year I'm not too happy with the cold. The person who, unfortunately, suffers from the cold weather more than anyone in my family is my father because of his chemotherapy.

Okay, moving away from a somewhat touchy subject... as you will see, I am a massive Liverpool FC fanatic and have been for quite some time. Sometimes I have to get up in the wee hours of the morning because they're on GMT (U.K.) time and I'm on PST time. Today they played against Derby. Normally I wouldn't have minded losing a little sleep but I ended up going to sleep at 2 in the morning and I slept less than 5 hours before I was up again. Needless to say, I was not a happy camper this morning. lol. The game was alright. The first half was great. Liverpool was on their game and that goal from Torres was pretty sweet. Second half, aysh... where did my Red men go? They were giving away the ball too much, some players were just... *shakes head*. When Derby scored a goal and tied with Liverpool, I was kind of bummed out but not really surprised. When Gerrard came close to scoring a goal, but missed, I definitely yelled pretty loudly. lol. Steve Gerrard, Gerrard... this man can kick a ball forty yards (or so the song goes). What did I do next time Gerrard was shown on TV? I did the sign of the cross. What happened 2-3 minutes later? He scored the winning goal which caused me to yell out very loudly at nearly 9 in the morning. Good morning, neighbors. lol. Though I am pleased that they got the full 3 points, I wasn't too happy with most of the second half performance. Hopefully they'll work on it for the next match against Manchester City this weekend.

From my favorite Red men to my first favorite saint... Santo Niño de Atocha (Child Jesus). Being of Mexican and Spanish descent, he has been in our household since I can remember. For those of you who don't know who the Santo Niño is... He first appeared in a Spanish town called Atocha. Muslims were taking Christians prisoners in the little town during the 13th century. The prisoners who were devoted to Catholicism were denied food by the Muslims. Soon, little kids (under the age of 12) were able to take prisoners food. Since the women of Atocha knew the majority of the prisoners wouldn't survive the starvation, they prayed to Our Lady of Atocha, asking her to ask her Son for help. Soon after, there were reports of a little boy (dressed in pilgrim clothing) taking food to prisoners who didn't have any children of their own. When the women heard about this, they went to thank Our Lady of Atocha for answering their prayers. When they looked at at the statue of Our Lady, they noticed that the Child Jesus she had in her arms had his shoes very worn and dirty. They replaced his shoes but when they went back to check, they were once again tattered and dusty. They took it as a sign that the Child Jesus was helping the prisoners stay alive. It didn't just end there, either. In other Spanish towns, people would report a young boy in pilgrim clothing bringing travellers their food and anything else they needed to survive. He would travel with them until they were out of danger, and would also guide them to the safest roads. That is how El Santo Niño came to be.

There are two stories about him that take place in Mexico, too. One was of these miners, working on building a town called Fresnillo, who saw a mule coming from the West. They decided to take the crate off the mule but as soon as they did that, the mule ran away. When the miners opened the crate, they saw a silver crucified Christ, but without the cross. Immediately, a church was ordered to be built in a new town close by and it was named Plateros after the silver Christ found. (Spanish lesson: The Spanish word of silver is plata... hence naming the town Plateros.) After it was done, they ordered the image of Our Lady of Atocha to be shipped from Atocha, Spain to Mexico. The statue, along with the silver Christ, has been in the church since then.

The second story: Frensillo became a town for the Spanish miners, who had gone to Mexico, and their families. Within the first weeks of the silver mines being opened, there was a big explosion and the miners were stuck. Their wives went to the church to pray to Our Lady of Atocha. At the same time, a child appeared in the mine and gave the miners water before leading them out of danger. Since then every time there was a problem in the mine, the child would appear and help whoever was in need. Every time this happened, the Child Jesus' clothing were dirty and had little holes on them. It wasn't long before they took him and put him in a little glass case for everyone to see and pray to. He has since been the symbol of the Mexican state of Zacatecas and of miners everywhere.

I was actually very lucky to have visited him (the original statue) when I was about 11 years old (give or take a year or two). The church looks very humble which makes it even more stunning. I went with my parents and my paternal grandmother (may God rest her soul) to Fresnillo and Plateros as part of our vacation. I was happy but very tired because of the bus ride to and from Fresnillo. My grandmother, who was one of the most amazing women I've ever known, lived in a town a few hours from Fresnillo but she still made the trip with us. Unfortunately, I don't remember much of the trip because it's been about 12 years since the trip but I do remember feeling very excited and happy... and I still have the items my grandmother bought for us while we were there. I hope to go back to Fresnillo some day soon. I'll be the first to admit that I don't like going to Mexico because I always seem to get food poisoning or some sort of stomach virus when I'm out there (the foods are quite different from the ones in the U.S.) but I'd be willing to have a tummy ache or two if it meant seeing the Santo Niño again. And for those who want a little more background on him, and see two pictures of the church, here is the link to it. Hopefully I can get a picture of the statue I have of him up later on today (it is now a minute after midnight).

And with that, I conclude my blog for now. I'm still tired, booh, but I have to wait to sleep because I ate not too long ago and I don't like going to sleep with my stomach full. I think I'll try to work on the template for this blog so that it's not too plain. Okay, well, for now... thanks for reading and God Bless. :D