When People React Strongly to Your Blog Posts

Okay, wow... I did not expect the response I got from the blog post on Mental and Emotional Purity. Some of the comments were positive and I found out there were more like-minded people. Others were... not in agreement and made it known. I act felt attacked by a couple of comments but I tried to let it roll off of me because I knew what I had posted. I knew people were going to feel strongly about it but I also knew that I wanted to share my own thoughts. Still, I wasn't anticipating how much was misinterpreted.

I thought I'd made my thoughts clear in the post that those were my own thoughts and feelings on the subject. I thought I'd made it clear that I didn't have an issue with sex; I just don't want to hear about other people's experiences, especially when it gets graphic. I wasn't expecting for people to make me feel like there was something wrong with me for choosing to not want to hear or think about these things. I wasn't expecting people to throw (and I'm paraphrasing) "well, if you have an issue with chastity..." comments in my face. I wasn't expecting to feel as terrible as I did. But I did... and I had to remind myself that those were just other people's opinions and that I'm fine with my own thoughts because it's what I feel is right for me.

Funnily enough, no one talked about the issue of being careful with things like Hallmark movies or chick lit books. No, everyone focused on the part in which I mentioned sex. Go back and see for yourself... I talked more about the emotional part. No one touched that. It was interesting.

I've been reading Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love: Practical Insights from John Paul II's Love and Responsibility by Edward Sri and a lot of what I was trying to say in the blog post was written perfectly in the book. I haven't read anything on Theology of the Body and I'm still learning about human sexuality from a Catholic perspective -- I've only gotten an "education" on human sexuality from liberal professors at secular colleges -- but it all pretty much aligns with what my thoughts and feelings about it. (side note: If you haven't read the book, or Pope St. John Paul II's Love and Responsibility, I highly recommend both.)

I don't regret what I wrote because I wanted to be honest with my thoughts and feelings on the subject. It was also a wonderful conversational starter with some people who disagreed but wanted to talk more about where I was coming from. People who bothered to talk to me about what I had written -- to make sure they understood where I was coming from -- ended up knowing that I meant no harm in what I had written. Those who made their comments (some very harshly) and didn't bother to continue dialogue after speaking their mind and reading my responses, I'm not angry with y'all. I'm sad we couldn't talk about it in a civil way but it's okay.

I'm going to continue writing about my thoughts. I did warn everyone that this was going to happen. I'm going to lose readers like I lost Twitter followers a couple of days ago. That's fine. As I said a couple of days ago, I'm going through a lot of changes (including some big life changes) so I'm going to be writing about how I'm changing, which includes changes to my thoughts on certain topics. This isn't a challenge or me flipping the bird to anyone; I simply want to stay authentic.

Anyway, I wanted to clear the air for those who were/are still unhappy with what I wrote. Again, it wasn't a judgment about anyone (I made sure I included that disclaimer in the blog post; you can go back and read it for yourselves if you don't believe me); I was simply talking about why I've chosen to avoid speaking, seeing, or hearing about sex. That's it. I won't be expanding further on it because I feel like I'm talking about it enough. I may revisit the topic of human sexuality in the future (though not anytime soon; I have other things I wish to write about) and I hope that those who stick around to share my journey with me will remember that what I write about is about what affects me personally, no one else.

Since there is a break from the rain (we've had rain in L.A. over the past 24 hours or so), I'm going to go make a quick grocery run since the rain is supposed to come back -- and it's supposed to be heavier -- later today through tomorrow. Need to stock up on basics, especially since we're now a few days away from Christmas. Time has flown by this year. :)

I hope y'all are doing well. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Top 5 Saint Dreams (That I Can Share)

For those of you who've stuck around for the past 7+ years, you know that I go through periods of back-to-back saint dreams. While I don't have them as often as I used to, saints still love to pop into my dreams. St. Benedict of Nursia, Pope St. John Paul II, and Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati are the ones who appear most often. Sometimes I get only Mama Mary and Jesus. (Side note: the dream in which I saw Jesus on the cross and was physically lifted up by Mama Mary to embrace him may be my favorite dream). Other times I'll get saints I'd never heard of before and I have to look them up the next morning.

I know some of y'all can remember a time when I used to shared them all the time and may be wondering why I don't anymore. The truth: I don't know. Maybe because they're more personal now. I share them with my spiritual director and those closest to me (or people who were in the dreams with the saints and I) but that's about it. Maybe I'll share more in the future but, for now, I'm going to go back in the archives and share my top 3 dreams that I've already shared as well as two I haven't shared yet but that have stuck with me for over 6 years.

In no particular order...

I

St. Benedict of Nursia is the saint that pops up in my dreams the most often and I'm almost always fighting evil in those dreams. Sometimes it's pitch black but I know he's right next to me as I face-off against the devil. When it's pitch black, he helps provide a light... even if that light is something bright that is cupped in my hands. Yeah, they can get pretty wild. However, my favorite didn't have anything to do with fighting evil. This one is 7 years old according to the original post. I was somewhere in Northern Europe, traveling by myself. I was told by a group of girls that I had to go up the stairs (of the hotel), but that I had to run quickly because there were dark spirits that would try to hurt me. We ran upstairs and, as we did, I felt the most excruciating burning pains in my stomach. When we got up to the room (the only room the stairs led to), the girls said that they'd felt nothing but that I had these massive lacerations all over my stomach... before I could do anything, little black bugs (the size of ladybugs) started raining down. The girls began yelling about how disgusting it was when I started to ask St. Benedict for his intercession. I don't know how the bugs disappeared but my stomach began to heal immediately. I was able to peel the wounds off as if they were stickers thanks to him. I had this dream about 4 years or so before I began having stomach problems in real life. 

II

I was triple-teamed by St. Catherine of Genoa, St. Catherine of Siena, and Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati in a dream about a year and a half ago. In the dream I could sense that St. Catherine of Genoa wanted to help me but I wasn't sure how. Before long, St. Catherine of Siena and Bl. Pier Giorgio were there as well -- both by my side -- because they had decided to help as well. At some point it became clear that they were there to help me discern my vocation. We were together in a pitch black place -- pitch black but I could still make out their faces and figures. It was a place of some confusion, almost like a blank slate because I didn't know where I was going. I faintly remember that they were trying to decide who was going to be in charge of helping me discern my vocation, it was kind of funny. Anyway, towards the end I remember that we were standing in a line. It was me, Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati to my right, St. Catherine of Siena to his right, and St. Catherine of Genoa to her right, looking forward to the emptiness and unknown. I actually don't remember hearing about St. Catherine of Genoa prior to the dream but I remember getting a kick out of finding out what she's the patroness of when I woke up and Googled her -- patron saint of brides. Amused, I was.

III

One of the earliest saint dreams I shared on this blog is almost 8 years old; it was amongst my first blog posts. Anyway, this is what I wrote: "Two nights ago I had a very cool dream about saints. I was standing up on a cathedral's dome looking down at saints walking around in a garden. And, yes, they were actually alive in my dream. The cathedral was big and white and so were the stairs one had to take to get up to where I was standing. As I was looking down, I noticed St. Dymphna and St. Jude walking around. I don't remember if I called their names or if they just looked up but they looked at me and I knew they were going to come up to talk to me... I went inside and waited for them and then I saw other saints walking in from different hallways and staircases... I remember St. Teresa of Avila was there... I don't remember talking to any of the saints. I know they acknowledged me and made it clear that they knew I was there." Side note: I've since recognized the dome and the gardens as the dome of St. Peter's Basilica and the Vatican gardens. 

IV

My first I have yet to share: I'm going to skip a lot of really personal stuff that came up in the dream but let's just say that it was the first time I saw and chatted with St. Therese of Lisieux in a dream. It was all about vocations. We were in this sort of bookstore and she told me that I had to be patient in figuring out my vocation. She showed me a pink-red book and saw that it was a book on relationships. She really stressed that I had to be patient because it was going to take some time before I was able to live my vocation. I was given a number which, looking back on it, was curiously significant because it ended up being tied to the thing that held me back in my discernment. I had the dream a little over 5 years before I was finally able to move forward in my vocation discernment. I think almost all the St. Therese dreams I've had have been tied to my discernment, which is why I ended up entrusting it (discernment) to her. It just seemed appropriate.

V

Second dream I haven't shared: I'm going to combine a number of dreams into this one because they have one saint in common: Pope St. John Paul II. The first one was the first part of the previous dream (St. Therese). Basically, a young man had come to get my parents' blessing because he wanted to propose. In the dream I could see everything that was happening though they couldn't see me. I remember saying "how is my dad here? He's dead." (side note: this dream happened about a month before my dad actually passed away.) Anyway, after talking to my parents, I saw Pope St. John Paul II coming into my apartment from next door to give us his blessing as well. A few months later, I had two more dreams in which I was at the Vatican and I interacted with him. There was also one a couple of years ago in which I saw him consecrating the Host. I was there with two (then) newlywed friends (in their wedding attire) who could not see what I saw. I was told that I needed to receiving the Eucharist every day. A day later I had another interesting dream in which both my vocation and the Eucharist was brought up but that one involved St. John Vianney.

Yep, so those are my top 5 saint dreams. Not my top 5 dreams (I've had some epic Jesus and Mama Mary dreams) but the top 5 involving saints... that I can remember. lol. I sometimes forget them before I get a chance to write then down. Oops. lol.

Anyway, that's my contribution for All Saints' Day. I hope y'all have a blessed rest of weekend. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

What I Learned Wednesday #31: Novels, Pope, and Nuns Editions

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I need to manage my time better when busy because my prayer life falls to the side. As you've probably noticed, I've been M.I.A. because I'm working on my novel deadline. I gave myself a May 1st deadline because I wanted to get it done and out into the wild before I started classes on May 5th. I've had to look for the cover art and figure out how to do it myself (and it's not easy because I have mediocre PhotoShop skills). I've also had to proofread it... and I'm going to have to translate it into Spanish soon (though I actually a program for this). All of this before May 1st is pretty intense and I'm actually thinking about pushing back the release date because I'm not sure it'll all be done by then. Any self-published author will tell you that these things are extremely time consuming. Anyway, even though I've been busier than usual, I shouldn't have let my prayer life fall to the side. I've tried harder the past two days because I realized what I was doing... but it's a challenge. It wasn't until I realized that I wasn't as happy (novel stress aside) because I wasn't taking time to pray that I decided to reevaluate priorities. Although I want to start my classes without the added stress of a novel release, I'd rather not let my prayer life go down the hole. Let's see how it goes in the next week.

Lesson learned: it's good to reevaluate your priorities when you see that something's missing from your life... especially if that something is prayer.

II

Speaking of the novel, I had to find out what Bl. Pope John Paul II's official saint name would be because he's mentioned in the novel. I guess this counts as sort of a spoiler (though not a very big one because y'all don't know in way he's mentioned) but, yes, he's mentioned... and yes, I did find out the name. It will be (Pope) St. John Paul II. I guess the Pope in front of St. JPII is optional. I know I'm a big fan of learning about saints but I haven't really brushed up on the bios of former popes who were canonized so this was a new thing that I learned. I wonder what Ven. Fulton Sheen's saint name will be when the day comes... and it'll come! ;)

Lesson learned: Um, (soon-to-be) St. John Paul II's name? lol.

III

Mother Dolores Hart will be the Guest Programmer for TCM on May 27th! I like to check TCM listings at the end of each month (for the following month) and I sort of geeked out when I saw that she will be choosing the films for the evening. I did a double geek-out when I saw that she picked two of my favorite films, Laura (1944) and The Song of Bernadette (1943). I haven't watched the other films she's picked but I look forward to seeing why she picked each of the films. Oh, and if you click on the link, make sure the time is set to your timezone. The link I posted is set to PST because I'm on the West Coast.

Lesson learned: Mother Dolores Hart has good taste in movies... and TCM is awesome for having her as a guest programmer!

Anyway, that's it for now. I took today (and I'm also taking tomorrow) off to rest my mind (and eyes) from all the eye-straining hours I've spent in front of my laptop... and my blogging isn't helping. lol. I will try to blog more often now that I have a cover picture chosen (I just need to figure out how to add the nice font without making it look horrendous). :)

I hope y'all are well!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Football (Soccer) and Catholicism

Picture of Javier "El Chicharito" Hernandez praying prior to a Mexico match.

If you are one of the few who have been following this blog since its inception then you know that most of the early blog posts contained a lot of football (soccer). And for the record, from now on I will use football to mean soccer. I don't watch or like American football *ducks* so no reason to get those confused.

As I wrote four years ago, (wow...) I played most sports growing up. In fact, I was named female MVP in eight grade because I never shied away from sports... even if it meant I was the only girl playing. I was that tomboy with scraped knees and bruises in skorts. lol. If I hadn't developed this anxiety disorder in high school (and thus having me transfer to a charter school) and/or messed up my right foot, I would've loved to have played football in high school and college. The sport actually helped rebuild the communication between my father and I in the last years of his life. (This story was included in the first Envoy Magazine article I wrote two years ago.) Needless to say, it has a special place in my heart for that and other reasons.

After my father passed away, I lost interest in a lot of things -- including football. Between that and my uber heavy course load, I eventually stopped watching the matches... though only for a couple of months. It wasn't until recently that I started to get back into the sport to the point where I once again prefer watching the matches to sleeping. lol. With Euro 2012 coming up (Go Rep. of Ireland!) as well as the CONCACAF World Cup Qualifiers (Go, USMNT!) starting this week, I thought it was a good time to finally write this post that I've been wanting to write.

You may not know this but there is a good relationship between football and Catholicism. A few years ago I was excited to learn that Bl. Pope John Paul II was a fan of my favorite football team, Liverpool F.C. as well as Barcelona (my favorite team in the Spanish League.) Liverpool's official website even got the scoop straight from the Vatican that he followed the career of a former goalkeeper who helped the team win the 2005 UEFA Champions League final. As a diehard Reds fan, this made me giddy. Of course, he's not the only Pope to say something on the sport. My beloved Pope Benedict XVI wrote about the importance of the sport (back when he was Cardinal Ratzinger) and even gave a list of the teams he was rooting for during the last World Cup. Though he is not as big of a fan as Bl. Pope JP II (though he does like my pick in the German League, Bayern Munich), he still knows how important it is to us and uses it to try to bring us closer to God.

Speaking of the World Cup (see what I did there? ;D), the winners of the last WC (Spain) made sure that the world knew who they were thanking for their triumph. Many of the players and staff dedicated the trophy to Our Lady and to the intercession of saints. The president of the Spanish football association as well as the team's coach dedicated the trophy to St. James. Player David Silva thanked Our Lady of Mount Carmel for the victory. When the team went to Mexico for a friendly match, they took the trophy and dedicated it to Our Lady of Guadalupe. For a country that is becoming more and more appallingly secularized, the team did good and I was proud to be of Spanish heritage when I heard of what they were doing. Before I move on from the last World Cup I also want to make note that Dutch player, Wesley Sneijder, even converted to Catholicism shortly before the World Cup began. Oh yeah! Of course, they are not the only ones who bring faith into the sport.

Watch a match between two predominantly Catholic countries and you'll see the majority of the players doing the sign of the cross as they walk on the pitch. Any of you watch the Brazil vs. Mexico match this past weekend? If so, then you saw the players doing just this. Mexican player Javier "El Chicharito" Hernandez is one of the most outwardly devout players, often kneeling on the pitch to pray mere seconds before it starts. He's done this in British Premier League where he plays for Manchester United. If you read Spanish or don't mind click Google Translate for the translation, in this interview he talks about how proud he is to be Catholic. If you're a fan of the Premier League, you may also be interested to hear that Liverpool FC's Steven Gerrard supposedly named his new baby daughter Lourdes after the town where Our Lady appeared AND that the Vatican recently gave Didier Drogba props for his crediting God for Chelsea's UEFA Champions League win last month. I didn't even know he was Catholic until recently either but this article really made me happy. A few years ago I wrote about how Italian Nicolas Legrottaglie and Brazilian Kaka (though he is not Catholic) were those outspoken against pre-martial sex, crediting their faith for their decisions to be chaste until they married.

Even in this country, where it's predominantly Protestant, we have our fair share of Catholic footballers. Eddie Gaven of the Columbus Crew as well as Luke Vercollone of the Charleston Battery belong to Catholic Athletes for Christ. Luke wrote a great article about his career and his vocation for Envoy Magazine. If you haven't already read it, I strongly suggest that you do. I also recently discovered a great website called Blessed 2 Play in which Eddie was interviewed about his faith (great 30 minute audio interview that includes the story of how he and his wife met... and how his wife converted to Catholicism). Also, I don't know if you remember but Chase Hilgenbrinck left the New England Revolution to become a priest. Oh yes, it's possible to have a priestly vocation and still love the game as the recent "clerical World Cup" news shows us. And one more piece of trivia for you... a Vatican City football team does indeed exist. I checked it out.

I do have so many other links and players I could talk about but maybe for another post. I think y'all get it. If you want to read an amusing post about how soccer is like Catholicism, go here. It's pretty spot on and I appreciated the comparisons as a Catholic.

And this is my post. I know, it's a lot of links but I do my research and I've been saving these links for a while now. I will undoubtedly occasionally write about the sport so y'all been warned. lol. I will try not to go overboard with it because I can become quite passionate about the sport -- and if you follow me on twitter you know that I can get a little too into it. lol. I hope some of you learned something new. :)

Anyway, I really want to take some time to pray before my mom gets home. I like my solo time to pray. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

Saint Dreams, Part... I Seriously Lost Count.

*originally started August 4th but posted the 7th*

During the earlier days of this blog, I used to write about saint dreams I had. I used to have them more often in those days and then stopped for a while. They've been become frequent again and two have had the same message so I thought I'd share.

Those with whom I communicate on a fairly regular basis know that I haven't been feeling very close to God lately. I don't know why but I just can't concentrate as well as I have before while praying or making an earnest attempt to meditate. The more I try to get back on the track I was, the harder it is. When I make an effort to pray at a certain time, especially when it comes to the 54 day Rosary novena I am currently doing with Angelica, something gets in the way and it's delayed until it's almost too late (nearing midnight). I just feel like there's something blocking and I don't know how to get around it. I talked to my regular confessor about it but even with his advice I feel stuck. Maybe that's why I had the following dreams I am about to share. I won't go into great detail but just the gist so y'all will understand.

Last week I had a dream that involved me being inside a parish and seeing Bl. Pope John Paul II consecrating the Eucharist. I was there with two newlywed friends of mine (who were in their wedding attire) who could not see what I saw. Anyway, I was told that I needed to receiving the Eucharist every day. Last night I had another interesting dream in which both my vocation and the Eucharist was brought up. I've been having doubts about whether I had discern my vocation properly so it was interesting that it was brought up in my dream. Anyway, last night's dream involved St. John Vianney, whose feast day we are celebrating today. I was, once again, told that I needed to receive the Eucharist on a daily basis. There were mentions of spiritual attacks coming to me in the next couple of days but the main thing was that I needed to go to Mass daily. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts. Considering how I've been feeling, I wouldn't be surprised if this is what I need in my daily routine.

I normally don't put a lot of importance on my dreams because it's dangerous to think that you can predict things or are getting straight messages through your dreams. I've had quite a number of interesting dreams that I occasionally share with whomever else was in the dream with me but that's about it. These dreams, though, I cannot help but really think about. Whether they come from God or from my subconscious, I really feel a strong urge to go to Mass and receive the Eucharist daily. Like I said, maybe it's what I need to feel closer to God once again. Maybe it's something that will make me feel more complete. It'll be a challenge as my sleeping schedule is so out of whack most days and I return to school in a couple of weeks but I think I'm going to earnestly try to attend Mass daily -- especially in the morning as my evenings are usually crazier.

Anyway, I just wanted to share because I thought the dreams were awesome. I am happy that the saint dreams are returning after a short break from them (a break I didn't want).

I hope y'all have a great rest of week and enjoy this feast day. Say a pray for your parish priests. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!

All We Can Do is Pray...

At this moment, my dad is in the hospital. Last night, after my new best friends (please, note the sarcasm), the Evangelicals, stopped by and prayed for my dad (again), dad asked us to please take him to the Emergency Room because he didn't think he would make it past the night if he stayed at home. I ended up having to stay home, though I wanted to go, because I'm the only one that can remain calm in these situations... and I had the task of notifying family members. We have a BIG family. Mom went to visit him again this morning and I had to stay home, yet again, but this time because I'm sick. I feel a little weak and fatigued so it was decided that I would stay at home, rest, and eat lentil soup (iron is good, so much lentil soup not so good after a while). I've also been fielding calls from my sister, cousins, family friends, etc.

So, I have good news and bad news. First, the bad news... Dad is so dehydrated and he's been sick for so long that his kidneys and stomach have now been affected. *deep breath* He's been losing a lot of blood as well (though I'll spare y'all the details) and mom had to sign a waiver saying that it was okay to allow them to give/add (I don't know the exact terminology) blood into his system. To be quite honest, it's not looking good.

The good news is that dad is now in good hands. His doctor is on top of things. They're controlling everything that's coming up. Dad's a fighter, too. I am sure I will cry as I write this but... my dad has said that he's going to fight this because of me. He said that he considers me his only child because I've been the only one that's been on top of everything and have been helping take care of him. It means a lot that he said that, and it makes me want to be that much stronger for him. Of course, I can't do that when I'm a puddle of tears, but I try. :) I'm grateful that my sister and brothers have FINALLY started reaching out to dad. My brothers are coming up on Saturday to see dad. I don't know if my sister's coming, seeing as she lives on the East coast, but I hope she does. Cousins have come down to L.A. today and we're expecting more tomorrow and for the next couple of days. I'm happy that the family is coming together.

It's a time like this that we're figuring out who our true friends are, too. I've had wonderful friends who call, text message, email, etc. just making sure we're okay and that we know that they're here for us. Then I have friends who are distancing themselves from me -- one of them is doing it out of jealousy. It's completely inappropriate at a time like this, but what can I do? Negativity will NOT affect me at this point. I'm completely shut off from the negative. I don't have time for it. I'm just praying for them.

I hate asking for prayers for my dad, but it's the only thing I can think of doing for him. I feel completely useless except when I'm praying for him. Anyways, he had tests done today so we'll know the extent of his illness probably tomorrow or the day after. I'm going to stay with him tomorrow morning through afternoon while mom works. At this point, I'm just asking for prayers that if, he's meant to get better, that the Lord gives him strength to endure this. If the Lord has other plans for him, then I'm praying that He gives us the strength to get through this. I won't give up hope for a miracle, though. I'm still asking Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati for his intercession -- mom's still asking Pope John Paul II for his intercession. All we can do right now is pray... just hold onto our faith, and pray.

That's all for now. Sorry it's such a downer. I just blog about this because it's easier to let everyone know this way and it's therapeutic. Thank you to everyone who continues to pray for us; it really means a lot to us.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :)
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Ask and You Shall Receive...

I just finished hour 6 of the Power Novena of Childlike Confidence (a.k.a. the 9 Hour Novena to the Infant Jesus of Prague) and the words "ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find..." have really struck a chord with me... especially after my week-long mini-vacation from Twitter and Facebook.

I did exactly as I said I would during my break; I prayed. I prayed that I would receive the answers I was looking for, or at least a sign so that I knew that I was doing the right thing. What I did not expect was getting answers to questions I didn't even think of asking. I had a lot of serendipitous moments that made me re-think some of the decisions I'd previously made. Most of it, ironically, happened at a time when I was doing something important -- registering for my Fall semester classes.

I was all set to attend Mount St. Mary's College (in Brentwood/L.A.) this Fall. I love that school (the professors, the people, the campus, etc.) and I was prepared to take on the loans... as long as I wouldn't be there for more than 2 years. Even with my scholarships and grants, I'm looking at a $23,000+ loan PER YEAR. Anyway, I went to enroll in my courses but we hit a snag. It turns out that they were only offering ONE course that I needed for the Fall semester... and the rest of the classes I did not need and would be, basically, a waste of time and money for me. Since I haven't finished my lower division requirements for my major (just the G.E. requirements) I'd have to wait to enroll in upper division courses for another year or so. That would mean I'd be at that school at least another year and a half. I would be at least $75,000 in debt by the time I would graduate. Uh... yeah, no. lol. So now, I will finish as many lower division Religious Studies and Creative Writing major requirements I can find at community colleges. I am already enrolled at courses at three different schools in order to achieve this. I will wait, yet another year, to transfer elsewhere. And, also, the money I've been saving is going to my parents for Dad's medical expenses which makes me VERY happy!

As you could see in the picture (and you can click on it to make it bigger), it was POURING that day I went. Since we got there early, I decided to sit in a bench, away from the rain, facing the chapel and Mary statue. As I sat there, thinking of how much I love watching it rain and how I hoped St. Medard (patron saint of good weather/against bad weather) would help us not get drenched on our way back home, everything just came to me. I knew what I had to do about some friendship problems I encountered last week. I knew what I needed to do about other things I was worried about/needed answers to. It was a definite "Ah, Eureka!" moment. I also had a dream, which I told a friend about, featuring the late Pope John Paul II (wearing all white) giving me his blessing, and also hope, so that pretty much made my break worth my lack of social interaction. I am at peace. I feel like myself again. Life is wonderful. :)

Oh... if there are some of you who are doing me the favor of asking either Pope John Paul II or Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati for their intercessions for my dad, THANK YOU. Dad's looking better... and he's excited because some of the yellow in his fingernails is somehow going away and returning to it's pink color. Also, I've noticed that his skin isn't as yellow as it was earlier. Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I think our prayers are slowly being answered. I asked Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati to intercede for my dad, some he could retain his food, this morning and dad has been able to, all day, for the first time in weeks.

Hour 7 of the Novena is coming up soon so I'll wrap it up. I'm also asking St. Timothy (patron saint of stomach and intestinal problems) to intercede for me because I've had some sort of bug for almost two weeks and I've already lost a bit of weight. One more pound and I'll be considered underweight. (I'm 5'7" and currently 123 lbs... and I prefer to be 125-130 to be within a healthy range; I'm usually about 128 thanks to fast metabolism. I <3 food. lol.) Doctor says it's a combination of not being able to keep food in my stomach because of stress and the virus. Fingers crossed that the Infant Jesus of Prague and St. Timothy will answer my prayers. No, I KNOW they will; my prayers to them have never gone unanswered. :)

Alright, that's enough rambling out of me for now. I have the 9 Hour Novena to say in a minute AND I'm also continuing the Sacred Heart of Jesus novena I'm praying for a friend. I will try to update more frequently, and will probably be able to now that school it out... *singing* for summer! lol. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :)
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So Happy: Mission Almost Complete, Anointing of the Sick.

I am so happy, I could burst. I'm honestly ready to bounce off the walls and do back to back cartwheels but I won't. I'm still studying for finals (I have an entire novel to read by tomorrow morning. FUN!) and won't have time to do all of it until everything is done. I have done little happy dances, though. :D

"So, why are you a little ball of excitement? Where is this happiness coming from?" you may ask me. The answer is simple: Part of my mission has been completed! :D What mission? Well, if you've been reading this blog for a while now, you've seen me mention that my ultimate goal is to get both of my parents back to the Church, which (especially) means they'd have to go to confessions and receive the Eucharist. Today, one of my parents has taken that step... and I couldn't be any happier! I have prayed and wished for this moment for a couple of years now.

Originally, Fr. Juan was supposed to come just to give my dad the Anointing of the Sick. I set this ball in motion last week. I mentioned to my mom that we should probably do this, especially since my dad's been expressing an interest in prayer and attending Mass lately. Today, Fr. Juan called and let us know he was coming later in the day. I casually mentioned that dad hadn't gone to confessions or received the Eucharist in about 40 years. We both agreed to not push him (dad) but Fr. Juan would come prepared just in case.

After I greeted Fr. Juan and gave dad a few encouraging words about how it would be great if he would confess but that I'd understand if he didn't want to. I only said the second part (about not being upset if he didn't confess) because I could see dad starting to put up a "fight" against confessing. I went to my room and prayed that the Holy Spirit would help my dad and that he would take the opportunity to confess. I also got my prayer card of Pope John Paul II and asked him to pray for my dad. (side note: Mom and a few friends are currently asking for his intercession for my dad. We're hoping for a miracle!) And dad finally did. He confessed and received the Eucharist. I was so overjoyed with happiness that I cried. My father has given me the best birthday present ever (though my birthday isn't technically until tomorrow). Once he received the Eucharist, Fr. Juan prayed for him and dad received the Anointing of the Sick. After all was said and done, both dad and I were grateful for everything Fr. Juan did for us. And now, I just have to get my mom to go to confessions and receive the Eucharist and my mission will be done. :D

I have been so blessed lately, I'm completely speechless. I don't deserve any of the goodness that I've been experiencing, but I am very thankful for everything. Even with my birthday "curse" messing up my plans for tomorrow, I will still consider this the best one yet! I've been looking forward to my 24th birthday for as long as I can remember (which is about from age 7 forward) but I never knew why. I hope this was the reason why. :) Oh, and I didn't even mention that I've been lucky enough to be chosen to have priority registration at my new school, for next Fall. Man, what a great way to spend my last day as a 23 year old.

Alright, well, I think that's enough for now. :D I still have to go finish reading the Tortilla Curtain by T.C. Boyle for my English Lit class. I have a research paper on it due on Monday morning at 7:30 a.m. It's cutting it short, but I read novels pretty quickly so I'm not worried. :D

I hope everyone has a great weekend! As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D


P.S. Thank you to my twitter friends who prayed for my dad during all that happened today. It means a lot to me and my family. :D

Faith Trashing Professors; Ethics Speech; Prayer Request.

I'm having one of those days where I'm missing my big brother, quite badly, so I have to throw myself into things to keep from thinking about it too much. I know he's up in Heaven, and that brings me some comfort.

Anyway...

Oy to the vey. School related things are slowly taking over my free time. If I'm not studying or doing something for one of my classes, I'm probably sleeping or trying to keep sane. This ought to teach me not to get another early morning class... and that what I was able to do at 19, I can't at 23 (i.e.- getting up at 5:30-6:30 a.m. for a 6:30-7:30 a.m. English class). Come to think of it, I was even more exhausted then. This is something I should've remembered 3 months ago when I signed up for the course. Oh well... now I know. :) On the upside, 5 weeks into the semester and no anxiety whatsoever (well, not at school) so that's something worth celebrating.

Something not as good... faith trashing professors. Ever since that situation with the professor ripping on a student's faith, professors have either been more sensitive to what they say about religion, or they talk trash about it and about whoever talks about it. Since it happened within the district, some of my own professors have brought it up in class. One, my English prof., politely asked us not to bring the subject of religion into her class. I've already talked about how another allows students to gang up on a classmate of mine (and occasionally on me because I have the guy's back; we Christians need to have each others' backs). Don't get me started on the issues I have with that professor. lol. Since my other two classes (which are both Philosophy courses) deal with religion, it's unavoidable talking about it. In one of the classes, I've had a few people attack me... ONLY because I'm Catholic. Yes, that was the only reason. It was like "Pick on the Catholic" day. Of course, I said "Bring it on!" and defended myself. It wasn't too harsh so I didn't stress it.

In my other Philosophy course (Ethics) there's no Catholic bashing, per se, but the professor always says something about Catholicism which is either somewhat untrue (half correct, half incorrect) or just doesn't seem too happy talking about the religion. (He's a Protestant, in case you're wondering, though a very liberal one from what he says he supports.) Though he's brought up saints and even the late, great Pope John Paul II, he doesn't seem entirely okay with our beliefs. When my friend/classmate, and fellow Catholic, asked about St. Augustine's Confessions, the prof. sort of dismissed it because it was autobiographical. She and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. That's actually something you'll see us do quite a bit in that class. I'm happy I have someone who shares the same beliefs and morals as I do. We even spent Monday and yesterday comparing what medals and things we had. She had more medals than I did, but I have more prayer cards on hand. It's nice to know she'll have my back in case the vultures attack on Monday... which I'm counting on.

On Monday (or possibly Wednesday, depending on time), I have to present an Ethics speech either condemning or supporting an ethical issues. I chose abortion because it's the one that I'm most passionate about. That, and I already did an anti-Euthanasia paper for a Criminal Law class (when I was still thinking about becoming a lawyer) a few years ago. I think I have enough material to make it through the required 3-4 minutes of my argument against abortion, thanks to my friends on twitter who sent me a slew of great links. The only part I'm dreading is the questions portion because there's this guy in the class, who is sincerely disliked by a number of classmates, who is a pain in the tush and one of the rudest people I've met. I tend to be painfully shy when I'm in a classroom full of people I don't know (and ONLY when it's in a classroom setting) so I'm easy prey for the guy. I think he's already singled me out, too. The girl who gets up to make a speech and has an bright pink/red blush... yeah, that's me. I'm trying to keep positive thoughts about it, though. I will definitely say a prayer to St. Dymphna for a calm, anxiety-free mind, and to St. Thomas Aquinas - patron saint of students and philosophers. I'll let y'all know how it goes.

Before I end this blog (despite having more to talk about), I want to ask y'all a little favor. My dad is leaving on business tomorrow and we're not sure when he's coming back. He's going down to Mexico where there has been a lot of violence in the past couple of months. If y'all can say a little prayer, that he makes it back safe and sound, I'd greatly appreciate it. He and I might not always see eye-to-eye, especially when I want to go to confession and/or Mass and he refuses to take me, but he's still my dad and I don't want to see anything bad happen to him.

Alright, that's it for now. Part two is coming soon. I still need to write about soon-to-be attending a (not so) Catholic college... and the haunted dorms in said college. Fun! lol. :D

Oh, something that is fun is this video which is the greatest thing I've seen all year.


Is that enough procrastinating? lol. I think I need to go finish my Speech class (not my Ethics speech) homework. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. Oh, and if you have anti-abortion/pro-life links please send them my way! :D
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Best Valentine's Day Ever!; Prayers for Baby John Paul.

I had the BEST Valentine's Day EVER yesterday. No, it was the BEST DAY I've had in a looong time. :D It started with me submitting my dream university application and ended up with the song "Falling in Love At a Coffee Shop" by Landon Pigg summing up my evening.

I bit the bullet and finally sent it (and paid for) the applications to my dream university. I thought it was entirely appropriate that I did on Valentine's Day, as a gift to myself. Now I just have to submit some transcripts, along with other paperwork, and hope and pray for the best. :D I am really, very excited about the whole thing. It definitely set the tone for the rest of the day, as well. :D

Originally, I was supposed to go to the Catholic Underground RED dance but had to cancel those plans on Friday because of some little problems I came across. I was also supposed to go apartment hunting with a good friend, but her roommate got in a car accident so the plans were scratched last minute. This is actually how my day started. I decided to do my applications while all of this happened, which is when things looked up for me. After my mom got out from work, we did some shopping (I really needed some things from Target).

I won't say much about the evening because I am determined to keep that as private as I can, but I will say that I truly believe the Lord had a hand in what happened. Me missing the dance, staying home, seeing someone and feeling the way I felt -- it all makes sense. And it makes me incredibly happy because not only did I fall in love BUT all of this is going to bring me closer to the Lord! :D Seriously, BEST DAY EVER! And all of this is still making me happy -- despite feeling physically crummy.

So, while I am still talking about love, let me just say that I still view Valentine's Day the same way I did prior to yesterday's events. I will share with you exactly what I wrote for my Speech class:

"It's funny that people often think it's a holiday made up by the card and chocolate industry when in fact it's originally a Christian feast day honoring the life of Saint Valentine. I won't go into a whole story on him, because as both a Catholic and Religious Studies major I could, but the gist is that when he was alive, St. Valentine would marry Christian couples... when it was against the law to do so. Ironically, it's St. Raphael Archangel, not St. Valentine, who is the patron saint of finding love. St. Valentine is the patron saint of those already married and/or have found their soul mates.

Personally, I don't buy into the whole cards-candy-flowers-hearts aspect of the day. I definitely do think the day's been exploited and used for profit, which is sad. If you truly love someone, you should be able to show it every day. If a guy, or girl, wants to show their significant other their affection in a special way, then all the power to them. I think it's sweet that they do that... especially if they're otherwise less affectionate throughout the year. If I were to choose to celebrate the day like most people (with cards and sweets), I'd probably include my family and friends as well. Who said that Valentine's Day is exclusively for lovers? Can't there be any familial and platonic love as well?"

I forgot to add that we should also thank God for bringing love in our lives. Think about it... even if you're single, you still have His love, along with your parents' and friends' love. And I would to add that I'm not as cynical as I sounded in what I wrote. Trust, I am a hopeless romantic. There was something that the professor wrote that triggered how I responded to his questions.

Oh, and here's a cute video about love and marriage... from a child's perspective.



Haha, ah, kids. :D And speaking of children...

I recently read an article about the parents of baby John Paul Hauser asking for prayers and the intercession of his namesake, the late Pope John Paul II. Baby JP was born with a rare disorder and the doctors aren't giving him a good prognostic. I urge you all to pray for this baby. I don't personally know the Hausers but I can't bear to think of a baby's life being taken from him without doing something about it. Prayer might not seem like much, but it's something we can all do for him. Please, Pope John Paul II, help baby JP beat the odds! For the prayer, please go to the article. It's located at the bottom.

Alright, that's all I have energy for at the moment. I am missing Mass (again...) because of how crummy I feel. I think I'm gonna go lie down a little and see if it doesn't help. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Another Update: Great News; Things to Come.

Another quick update because I want to get through my Speech coursework before the end of the day. It's due tomorrow but I want to turn it in tonight. :D

Great news in regards to my thyroid ultrasound reports: I am in the clear! I said a little prayer to St. Blaise while I was on the phone, hoping someone had made a cancellation, and they found an appointment the next day (yesterday). I was happy because I wouldn't have to wait longer to get my results. So, the gist of the situation is this: Apparently, the technician, or whoever decided to ask them to call me to go in sooner than later, made a big mistake. They didn't know (or just didn't bother to check my charts) that I already knew I had a slightly enlarged lymph node. For a newly diagnosed person, it usually means that they need to go in for a biopsy to make sure it isn't cancerous. I already knew this, and had had a biopsy done in November 2007. Anyway, they stressed me out over nothing. My doctor apologized for the mix-up. She said I was perfectly healthy (I had all the tests done last month) and that I didn't need to go back to see her for another 6 months to a year. WHOO! A sincere thank you to all of you who prayed for me. I'm positive that it was the prayers that kept me optimistic, sane, and (most importantly) anxiety free until I got the good news. :D

As I said, I won't be able to write a full post yet (so much homework the first week of school!), but I will soon. Some things I want to eventually get to are:
- Real Meaning of St. Valentine's Day vs Secular celebrations
- Baby in need of prayers/intercession of the late Pope John Paul II
- Christian discrimination case in England
- Twilight book saga/series review (this will probably be an entire post itself)
- Review of the biographies of Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, written by his sister.
- etc.

I promise I won't overwhelm you all with all of that in a single post. These things are accumulating because of my busy week. Hopefully I'll be able to write quite a bit this weekend. The Twilight thing will have to wait until the first book is returned to me -- my bro is borrowing it. Oops, I just outed you. lol. Hey, I didn't say which of my brothers. :-P

Anyway, I hope everyone had a great week! As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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L.A. is Burning - Part Deux; When in Doubt, Ask a Priest.

There is another fire burning in the northern part of the Los Angeles County. Not good, at all. We can smell the smoke from where we live, but it's not so close that we can see the smoke like we did during the last fires. I'm going to pray that it doesn't get out of control like the others did last month. Of course, it HAD to be on a day when the temperatures would go over 90 degrees. Yes, you read that right... it will be over 90 degrees Fahrenheit today. Oy.

Well, I have my school dilemma figured out thanks to Fr. Stan. He did give me the disclaimer that if it didn't work out for me, it wasn't his fault, but of course I knew that. I did figure out what schools I would applying to and I am VERY happy with my decisions. It's all onward and upward from now one. :D

My motto is that when you're in doubt about something, always ask a priest's advice. I asked Fr. Leo's advice a few months ago about something and he definitely helped me and actually helped me on the path to trying to fight my battle with anxiety, while not letting it keep from going to Mass. Now, Fr. Stan has totally enlightened me. He quote Pope John Paul II and I totally saw my school dilemma from a new perspective. I love that when can go to them and ask for advice. :D

Alright, I've had a really BAD week, anxiety-wise. I honestly thought they would have to take me to the hospital twice because of horrible I felt. I'm so much better now, thank goodness! It was just three really intense days. Anyway, because of it I'm WAY behind on my homework -- which is all past due for all classes. So I'm going to do that now and then email them to the professors. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

You Know You're Catholic When...

Feeling better today, my dears. I still don't have much time to talk online but I thought I'd leave you these lists that I thought were hilarious... and so true. lol. The first list is from a now-defunct Catholic blog called LAMLand and the second is from a facebook group called "You Might Be a Hardcore Catholic If..." I hope you all enjoy the lists and have a chuckle. :D

You know you're Catholic when...

1. ...every time you go into your pantry you feel a strange compulsion to cross yourself and say, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned..."
2. ...guilt is your best friend, and you feel obligated to share it with others.
3. ...You genuflect before entering your seat at the theater.
4. ...if you only crave hamburgers and steaks on Fridays during Lent and you crave fish every other day in Lent... just never on Fridays.
5. ...if you sneak into protestant churches, sprinkle holy water, and hide blessed medals.
6. ...you can only recite the Creed when around large groups of people.
7. ...you make the sign of the cross when you pass in front of a Catholic church.
8. ...you hear the Angelus bells and begin saying the Angelus to yourself.
9. ...just about every special interest group in the country hates your guts.
10. ...you have an overwhelming compulsion to say, "And also with you," when Yoda says, "May the Force be with you."
11. ...someone says they're going to KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) and you think they are going to bingo at the K of C.
12. ...someone asks you your favorite Madonna song and you say “Hail Holy Queen.”
13. ...you hide anti-Catholic books in the library and bookstore behind other books on the shelf.
14. ...you have to remember which bottle has the holy water and which bottled has the water for drinking.
15. ...you know how to process, keeping two pews between you and the person in front, keeping lined up with your partner, walking without bobbing or swaying, and you genuflect on graduation day when you get to your seat.
16. ...you know at least 5 sins that can be committed against each of the 10 commandments.
17. ...you pray a Hail Mary when you hear a fire truck or ambulance siren.
18. ...all your children have saint names instead of names chosen from celebrities.
19. ...You have a rosary hanging from your dash.
20. ...you have a holy water fountain at your door and a religious picture and crucifix in every room.
21. ...your son calls home after being gone and the first thing you ask is have you been attending Mass.
22. ...one of your crucifixes has five years worth of dried out palms stuck behind it.
23. ...they know you at every Catholic bookstore in the area, and ask you where you've been if you haven't stopped by in a while.
24. ...you measure your life by the number of Popes who have come and gone.
25. ...after making the Sign of the Cross at the start of the Rosary, you say "Bless us O Lord and these Thy gifts..."
26. ...you spend the first five minutes of the day untangling your scapular from your Miraculous Medal.
27. ...you have a St. Christopher medal in you car.
28. ...you know more than 15 recipes for preparing tuna fish.
29. ...you refer to other religions as "Non-Catholic".
30. ...you carry prayer cards in your purse or wallet.
31. ...You know a family whose every daughter has Mary, or every son has John Paul either as the first or middle name.
32. ...your coworkers point out that you have something on your face and as they go to wipe it off for you, you duck and scream, "No, they’re my ashes!!"
33. ...you know when Advent and Lent begin and what day is Easter

You Might Be a Hardcore Catholic If...
-you've accidentally genuflected at a place other than church ex. the movie theatre, school auditorium
- you're sick of being asked why priests can't be married.
- you have a "favorite" religious order.
- you say the meal prayer no matter where you are.
- you have a Nativity set at your house during Christmas, and have also played with it.
- you've accidentally made the sign of the cross when leaving regular buildings.
- whenever anyone says "JPII" in your head you think "We love you".
- you know that Father Stan could take on Eminem any day.
- you LOVE the book Captivating and/or Wild at Heart (Even though they were written by non-Catholics).
- you know that Advent is the beginning of the new church year.
- you have a special place in your heart for Mother Teresa.
- you're more than willing to come forth with a valid miracle to help Mother Teresa become a saint.
- You know at least five people named Mary.
- You want to name one of your sons John Paul.
- you have a Mary statue in your front yard.
- You can name off all the Joyful, Glorious, Sorrowful, and Luminous mysteries.
- you consider your rosary to be your spiritual weapon.
- You've memorized the St. Michael the Archangel prayer and recite it when you feel tempted by sin.
- one or more of your friends entered the seminary or the convent.
- you have 20+ cousins.
- your mom is currently pregnant.
- you and your spouse practice NFP (Natural Family Planning).
- you believe in Purgatory and know it's important to pray for the souls who are currently in Purgatory.
- you get excited whenever Matt Maher releases a new album! Yea "Overflow"!!
- you think Scott Hahn writes the coolest books.
- you live chastity and are saving yourself for your future spouse.
- you're able to sit still for a full hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
- your idea of a great date is Mass followed by good conversation at a local coffee shop.
-You refer to John Paul II as John Paul the Great.
- you never leave home without your scapular.
- you are discerning the religious life.
- you often end disputes with, "Let's look it up in the Catechism."
- you and your friends have shown up at Adoration at 4:00 in the morning.
- when watching Star Wars and hear "May the force be with you" you respond with "And also with you".
- your mom always says "4 kids, Catholic".
- you have participated in sword fights using Palms on Passion Sunday.
- you've run into your Parish Nuns at a Cardinal's game.
- XLT is the big event of the month in which you invite everyone you know (in St. Louis that is).
- you and friend friends ever played "Mass" instead of House, or Cops and Bad Guys.
- You have your own designated seat at Mass.
- they know you at every Catholic bookstore in the area, and ask you where you’ve been if you haven’t stopped by in a while.
- on the night before the first Sunday of Advent you and your friends have a Liturgical New Year's Eve party, and count down to the new Liturgical Year!!
- you're named after a saint, not a family member.
- you know at least three awesome stories about Padre Pio.
- you get excited about going to Mass. (Side note: Oh, this is a big YES for me. lol)
- you arrive at Mass half an hour early to get a good seat and talk to Jesus.
- Redemptive Suffering gets you through sports.
- your mom always makes sure to celebrate your feast day.
- altar serving was the cool thing to do.
- You associate the smell of incense with major feast days.
- You attend multiple retreats per year.
- you point at your friends in line for confession calling them sinners and everyone laughs as you get to the end of line.
- Your teachers grade you down when you write papers about moral issues and papers involving God. (Side note: We'll see this semester. ;D)
- you've ever referred to yourself and your significant other as "a couple discerning a vocation to marriage".
- You and your many siblings went trick-or-treating dressed as Popes and martyrs.
- you feel compelled to make the sign of the cross after reciting ANYTHING... (happens after the pledge of allegiance almost every morning!) and then you catch yourself and have to remind yourself that it wasn't a prayer.
- If you have a priest come bless your house with holy water before you move in.
- You never eat before church, and brunch afterwards is always the best!
- Your first serious conversation you have with a potential girl/boyfriend involves your conversion story.
- You lie awake at night wondering why the St. Michael Prayer was removed from the end of Mass.
- The word "vocation" to you does not simply mean "job".
- People tend you look in your direction in class whenever anything involving religion comes up.
- You always have one or more saints on some part of your body.
- You have a Rosary or Saint Christopher pin in your car.
- One of your Crucifixes has five years worth of dried out palms stuck behind it.
- You would rather get your picture with the Pope then with a huge celebrity. (YES!)
- You have more than one Rosary hanging from your bed.
- You have contemplated being in a religious order at least once.
- Your one wish is to be able to ride in the Popemobile.
- you have a small family because most of your uncles and aunts are priests and nuns.
- you say "God bless you" anytime anyone sneezes, out of habit.
- You know the greatest way to start a date is with The Mass, because you'll have the greatest meal, Christ in the Eucharist.
- You know more about St. Francis of Assisi than "he was some guy who could talk to animals".
- you have had multiple meetings with the priest at your own will.
- all your pens and post-its say "Discover the Priesthood".
- You had competitions with your friends on Ash Wednesday to see who could keep their ashes on the longest.
- You still write "Your Kingdom Come!" or "JMJ" at the top of your page/letter/report/test.
- You find yourself asking all the cute boys whether or not they've ever considered becoming a priest instead of asking them for their number.
- You spend your Thursday nights at choir practice hanging out with people at least thirty-five years older than you in preparation for Sunday Mass.
- You mentally correct every textbook use of "BCE" and CE" with "Before Christ" and "Anno Domini". You also mentally capitalize every written use of the word "God" and "Mass".
- You know that some Catholics don't eat meat on Wednesdays or Fridays, even not during Lent.
- you live in the Vatican.
- you find that praying the Rosary is a good way to pass the time (especially at work).
- you get really excited over a holy day of obligation.
- if you are tired of people referring to the birth of Jesus the Immaculate Conception.
- you've ever been told my your mom, "Offer it up", and then felt very obliged to do so.
- when discussing possible names for your future children with friends or your future spouse, you start ruling out names that aren't virtues, saints, or biblical.
- you've ever thought it would be fun to read the CCC as if it were a novel.
- you instinctively grab the person's hand next to you when it's time to pray.
- you hug strangers at Mass during the sign of peace.
- when you hear someone's name read off, you think in your head "pray for us".
- you've ever ruled out dating someone because they weren't Catholic.
- you tell other people your last name, they begin spouting off names of people that you are probably related too.
- You plan what to wear based on the liturgical color of the day.
- You hold office hours at the Catholic Center/Catholic Student Center/Newman Center.
- You and your roommates have scheduled "spiritual nights" to discuss whatever issues of faith that are on your mind that week.
- You think getting a S.T.D. is cool...(S.T.D.= Doctorate of Sacred Theology)
- you held a Pope party (complete with Papal flag, and German beer) for the election of the B XVI (it was a Tuesday night).
- you were disappointed when you couldn't find a Catholic version of trivia pursuit. (Side note: OH YEAH!)
- When you tell the someone who your favorite musical artists are they have NO IDEA who you are talking about.
- When you hear the word Madonna, you think of the Blessed Virgin, not the song "Like a Virgin."
- You know that "prostrate" is not a place where men develop cancer.
- you convince your roommate that Jesus loves Him/Her no matter what religion they are.
- Instead of change, you find a rosary under your couch cushions.
- when you've said the Rosary outside a Planned Parenthood in protest with a Respect Life group.
- You look at this list and laugh really hard, because you know it's so true.
- you have at one point had to stop a younger sibling from playing in the Holy Water font.

I'm gonna add one to the list:
- You have an account on xt3.com (:D)

I'm sure there are more but those were all that are listed. If you have any more you'd like to contribute to the list, please don't hesitate to leave me a message either on here or through e-mail. :D

Alright, well that's all for now. Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Saint Dreams: Part... Well, I Lost Count. St. Benedict of Nursia, Our Lady of Lourdes and St. Bernadette.

I had every intention to writing about a few of the saint dreams I've had lately. If you've been reading this blog long enough, you know I have these saint dreams quite often. Fr. Leo, who was the first priest I ever told my dreams to, took an interest to them because (I am guessing) they are vivid and usually have nothing to do with what I'm going through in real life. Last night, I had one of those really scary (at the time) dreams that somehow makes me a stronger person in real life.

And, a little warning: The dream of Our Lady of Lourdes deals with a sensitive subject not suitable for younger readers to please skip over the beginning and start reading halfway down the paragraph.

St. Benedict: The dream I had last night involved St. Benedict of Nursia. I've mentioned him a few times in previous blogs because he's been featured in my dreams quite often. Usually, when I pray for his intercession in my dreams it's because there's something evil and I'm praying that I be protected from it. In the dream last night, I was somewhere in Northern Europe. I was traveling by myself when I bumped into one of my best friends and her family. After getting hugs from all of them (she has a lot of sisters and a brother -- shout out to her, who will probably read this :D), I decided to go upstairs to change. I didn't know if I was to go up the dark stairs or through the lighted hallway. A group of girls (whom I know in real life, but not personally) told me I had to go up the stairs, but that I had to run quickly because there were dark spirits that would try to hurt me. So, we all run upstairs... and as we did, I felt the most excruciatingly painful pains in my stomach. They burned, that's now painful they were. When we got up to the room (the only room the stairs led to), we found out that the girls felt nothing but that I had these massive lacerations all over my stomach. But before I could do anything, we got rained on with little tiny black bugs, almost the size of lady bugs. So, there the girls were, screaming about how disgusting it all was when I started to pray. I don't know how the bugs disappeared but I know that I began praying to St. Benedict while I placed my hands over my stomach. The girls just looked at me like I was crazy. Then, every time I started a new prayer, I was able to peel the wounds off... as if they were merely stickers. I told the girls that I would make believers of them (they didn't believe that prayer would work -- especially to saints). It was so weird, though. When I peeled the last cut off my stomach, I told them that I wanted St. Benedict to help me because it was the only way I'd make them believe in not only him but God. At the end, my belly didn't have anything... it was like nothing had happened. Then I woke up. I am leaving a lot of other details but that is the gist of it.

Our Lady of Lourdes: A few weeks ago I had a dream in which Our Lady of Lourdes had a huge part in a miracle. I was at this theater watching a play when I went outside to do something (I believe it was to call my father to pick me up for the theater). When I came back in, this guy said he wanted to talk. He (whose identity I will never reveal because he's a friend of mine in real life; weird, eh?) then proceeded to try to take advantage of me. So then I tried to tell others of what happened when the play got out but they didn't take me too seriously. Story of my life. Anyway, I left, obviously upset and somehow ended up in a humongous football (American football) stadium with friends. The guy came by to where we were sitting and said something about "Too bad, so sad" which really upset me. I somehow found out that he'd done the same to another girl and that she'd disappeared. So I tried to look for her but I was warned by some guys that I'd disappear, she like she did, and that no one would care. I didn't care and continued my search for her. I ended up near these white and sandy colored rocks, which were part of a cave-like thing entrance. I had a feeling she was there, so I looked up and this kind of rock arch outside the cave and she was there for a split second but disappeared. So I dropped to my knees, in front of all these people, took a white rosary in my left hand and raised it up to the sky and started praying for the girl. I closed me eyes and when I opened them I saw other people had gathered to pray for the girl as well. I looked up and saw Our Lady of Lourdes, dressed entirely in white, and smiled because I knew she'd grant me the miracle of saving the girl. Then, I turned to my left and saw the girl next to me, smiling gratefully at me. I got up and everyone turned around and saw that she'd appeared without anyone noticing. Then I remember saying... if everyone just prayed the Rosary and didn't care what others thought of their faith and devotions to prayer, that it would make things a lot better for everyone. Then I woke up.

St. Bernadette: Now, I don't remember exactly what happened (because this specific part happened towards the end of a dream) but I do remember that I was standing next to St. Bernadette, near the grotto. I turned around for a split second and saw we were in a completely different room (though I don't know where it was). Before I had a chance to ask, St. Bernadette grabbed my hand and ran out of the room with me, saying that I was not safe (the room turned into bricks and rocks and began crumbling) and that I had to leave. She pushed me out of the way of the rubble and then I woke up.

Some times I wish there was some device that could capture dreams because I feel like I do them NO justice when describing them. The images are so vivid and fresh in my mind that it's almost like I actually lived them instead of having dreamt them.

Can you believe it took me nearly 4 HOURS to write this blog? I got distracted by other things (like some kids breaking this huge window by the mailboxes -- sounded horrible as it was breaking). Yeah.

Anyway, that is all for now. I have confessions in a little while and need to get ready for that. :D As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Classes; More Pictures from the Mission; Soccer and Catholicism.

My apologies for taking a while to write another blog. Life has been that busy for me. I've even put my writing on hold for a few weeks but I am determined to get back to it today (as well as finishing St. Teresa of Avila's autobiography -- which I still haven't finished) because I start classes in about a month and I won't have much time after that.

Oh, and about that, I really lucked out and was able to return to a school I loved to finish my first degree (which I'll be done with next summer, whoo!). Just to give you an idea of how much school is going to take up my time -- I have History of Religion, Philosophy of Religion, Images of Women in Literature, and Environmental Biology courses. Translation: I will have A LOT of reading and writing to do for 3 and a half months. All I want is to make it through the semester alive. Seriously, that's all I want. I want to be able to make it through without having major issues with my anxiety or health (this is the first time in a while that I'll have to attend my courses in classrooms) and without being completely burnt out. Prayers to St. Dymphna and St. Thomas Aquinas will be said on a nightly basis. Anywho, I am not going to stress myself out with the thought of how much I am going to suffer (haha) by changing topics into a more pleasant one.

Mom and I went back to the San Fernando Mission last Sunday. It was A LOT more crowded than expected but it was still lovely to walk around and relax. We even got to rest on a bench in the Bob Hope Memorial Garden. It was a hot day so to sit under the shade, with flowers and roses surrounding us, feeling the cool breeze come in, smelling the fragrance of the flowers as the breeze swept by... it was very lovely. I took more pictures that I wasn't able to take the previous time (because I'd run out of room on the memory card) but was able to take this time around. So, without further ado, the pictures from the latest trip to the Mission:


Picture of Pope John Paul II (obviously not taken by me) from his visit in 1987; A sign explaining the picture; A letter showing that the Pope did in fact come to L.A. when I was a baby (therefore I remember zip!).


A paint of the Madonna and Child Jesus that's inside the Convento (convent).


Angels at the beginning of a path that leads from the Convento to the side of the West Garden.


The path leads to the West Garden with a view of the Old Mission Church (tall building) and the building where workshops were set to show what life was back in the day.


Candles inside the old Mission church. You press the top button and it lights up. You can't shut it off, though. It'll do it itself. I tried. lol.


A smaller fountain hidden, near the entrance of the Bob Hope Memorial Garden.


A river/waterfall/creek thing inside the Bob Hope memorial garden. I'm a city girl, sue me. lol. It's so NICE in there.


Statue of Blessed Juniper Serra, the founder of the California Missions, with an native child; The plaque below the statue.

I hope y'all have enjoyed the pictures. Sorry, I go "tag happy" because I don't like other people taking credit (or not giving credit) when they take the pictures.

I have A LOT to do today, but before I go I just want to say how HAPPY I am to keep finding little connections between soccer and Catholicism. As I mentioned in the previous entry, I just found out (a week ago-ish) that a professional soccer player decided to quit his team to become a Catholic priest. How awesome is that?! Chase Hilgenbrinck played for the New England Revolution (and I am almost positive that I got to watch the final game he played with them) but, as stated in the Catholic News Agency website, he explained: "After years of discernment, I feel strongly that the Lord has called me to become a priest in the Catholic Church. Playing professional soccer has been my passion for a long time and I feel blessed to have successfully lived out this dream. My passion now is to do the will of God, which is wanting only what He wants for me. Though I will miss the game of soccer, I know that I am moving on to something much greater." You can read more about his story here (Soccer pro retires to pursue Catholic priesthood). Chase is truly an inspiration and I wish him nothing but the best. And all of this reminds me of Eddie Gaven, of the Columbus Crew (the other MLS team I love), and the rest of the members of Catholic Athletes for Christ. Though their vocation isn't the priesthood or other religious order, they still inspire other young, Catholic athletes not to be ashamed of their faith because, as sad as it is, it's becoming increasingly "uncool" to talk about your faith with friends as you're growing up. I say that anything negative anyone has to say about me regard my religion means bupkis to me. (And bupkis is a Yiddish term for "nothing") lol. In fact, I'm gonna be proud to say that I'm a Religious Studies major when I go back to school next month. So there. lol.

Alright, well, I've written a lot. Sorry. lol. I am going to go write, and read, and just relax and make the most of what is left of my summer vacation. Hopefully no more heavy weeks because I have a month left of freedom and I want that freedom to last me because I won't have any for months. *groan* lol.

'Til next time, thanks for reading and God Bless.
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Picture Special: San Fernando Mission

Today, after Mass and after Fr. Leo made me laugh with his jokes about him not holding Mass on Father's Day until he sees my father there, we drove to the San Fernando Mission in San Fernando, California. Ever since one of my best friends told me about her trip to San Juan Capistrano, I've been curious about visiting the Mission in the San Fernando Valley. Ever since I was a little girl, I've been wanting to go to this Mission. I can clearly remember myself, at age 5 - 7, wondering about how it would look inside and how it would be. Finally, at age 23, I got a chance to visit.

I had an AMAZING time at the Mission. I highly recommend it to anyone who comes to Southern California to tour Mission, or even those who live in the Los Angeles and Santa Clarita Counties that can make their way over to the city of San Fernando. Admission is only $4 per adult and $3.50 for children. It's so peaceful and beautiful. It's almost like you're in another world, thousands of miles away from city life. I honestly felt though as if I were somewhere in Spain, and not California. And, if you're looking for particular holy/prayer cards and other things, you will most likely find it there. Mom bought me a St. Therese of Lisieux prayer card with a piece of cloth that has been touched to her relics. I'm fact, have it in my hand as I type this out.

I took a lot of pictures, though some didn't come out too great because it's hard to take a picture when you're carrying a heavy tote bag on one arm and holding onto a map on the other. I hope y'all enjoy the pictures. You can click on the thumbnails to see bigger versions of the pictures. Once you go to the page where the picture is enlarged, you can click on the magnifying glass on the top right side to get the full version. If you'd like to use any for your own site or blog, please let me know and I can send you bigger versions with smaller (or no) tags.

And now, without further ado, the pictures:


One of the first signs you see before you enter the Mission.


A view of the chapel-of-ease coming out of the gift shop and entering the Mission.


A beautiful fountain in the middle of the Mission.


Statue of St. Francis of Assisi. It's the first thing you see, on your right, as you enter the Mission museum.


Description of and the actual Gregorian chant parchment.


The vestments our beloved Late Pope John Paul II wore, as well as the candle he lit, when he visited the Mission in 1987. It's completely surreal, and beautiful, that I was THAT CLOSE to something the Pope wore, walking the same grounds he walked on his visit.


Friar vestments that date to the time the Mission was built.


The inside of the chapel-of-ease. Sorry it's so blurry, the lights were off and I couldn't use the flash.


Walking on part of El Camino Real within the Mission.


I never found out the name of this rock but it was very interesting nonetheless.


Sign going into the Convento (Convent). They have a lot of different paintings, statues, etc. One of the best places to visit within the Mission.


A replica of the Bishop's Room. I only got part of it because there were bars and I couldn't take pictures of the rest of the room.


Plaque of and the statue of the Child Jesus.


Part of the massive library in the Convento. It smelled so lovely when you walked in. It was like a mix of vanilla and some other flowers.


Wooden Santo Niño de Atocha statue. (Child Jesus of Atocha)


This cross was dedicated to the Native Americans. The inscription reads: "In memory of the 2425 Native Americans who were interred in this cemetery of San Fernando Rey de España between 1797 and 1852. Anno Domini 1997."


Statue of Our Lady of Hope. It's the first thing you see as you walk towards the Bob Hope Memorial Garden. It's a replica of the original that's in Pontmain, France.


Bob Hope's tomb. He is buried here (edit: 9/20/11: and his recently deceased) wife will be buried here in the Bob Hope Memorial Garden at the Mission. You can actually touch it or leave flowers if you'd like.


A plaque outside the chapel-of-ease.

That's all I got, for now. I hope to go back and possibly take video or take more pictures because there was A LOT I didn't take pictures of. I hope you've enjoyed them. 'Til next time, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Dream about the End of the World

I just woke up a little while ago and I decided to write about this dream because I've been having a bunch of really interesting ones and this one has topped most of them.

I had a dream that the end of the world happened. But before that, I was involved with a love triangle. I was in love with a blond guy, whom a certain brown-eyed blond was also in love with. So the dream was her doing all in her power to get him and me just being shy and waiting for him to make his decision. In the end, things were looking up for us and then it was the end of the world. I suddenly saw myself up on a mountain/hill (can't remember whether it was high enough to be considered a mountain) and everything around was a soft red color (almost bordering on a light reddish pink). I started smelling a sweet strawberry-floral scent and I was confused for a second. Then we (my mom, who was at my side) saw people going up the mountain/hill and we decided to follow them... and that's when I knew what was going on. There were people around us -- I remember two young men in particular -- who kept saying that they didn't smell anything or see anything. That's when I realized that those going up to heaven where the only ones who could see and smell what we did. So, we started going up the hill (through what I realized was purgatory) and we were met by my paternal grandmother (who died in 2005, and whom I terribly miss) and my father (don't know where he was but he arrived to meet my grandmother -- his mother -- at the same time as us). So then I told my grandmother to go up with us; my dad also encouraging her to go up with us. She said something of the lines of "of course" and I don't remember if she said she was waiting for us, but I do remember that I had the feeling that she'd stayed behind in purgatory because she was waiting for us to get there so all 4 of us could go up to heaven together. So, my mom linked her arm with mine, I linked my right arm with my grandmother and my grandmother with my father and the four of us walked up to heaven together. Oh our way up, we passed a bishop, and other people, who kept asking what we were doing and why he couldn't see anything we could. That's when I realized that he was being left behind because he'd been corrupt and I immediately felt horrible for him. I was also VERY surprised that I was going to heaven because I've always felt that I was unworthy... and was even more surprised because my parents haven't gone to Mass regularly, or gone to confessions, and was thinking "How did they end up coming up to Heaven with those mortal sins?" (In real life, I should add, I'm trying to get them back to the church -- which I've made my mission).

As soon as we got in Heaven, we were separated according to what our mission was here on earth or what our job was. I was sent to one of the last lines where all the young people who were in the entertainment business (actors, musicians, and especially writers) were. There I saw a lot of people I'd recognized but haven't/hadn't met them in real life. There were a lot of 20-somethings, teens and little kids in the line. I remember the line was in between two aisles of books (looked almost like a library) in that area and getting out a tiny rose colored book of St. Teresa (though I don't remember if it was Avila or of Lisieux). I remember saying I wanted to see St. Teresa because I knew she was in Heaven and had a deep feeling that I wanted to finally meet her. Then I saw the certain blond guy I was in love with sitting at a table with a little blond girl named Lily (which is what I want to name my daughter). I don't know who she was but I had a feeling they were related. So then I heard someone, who was in charge of keeping everyone in line while we waited to fully go in, tell me that a big reason why I'd been sent to heaven without hesitation was because I'd been loved by someone (him) so deeply and honestly and that his love had won me a spot in Heaven. I wanted to be with him but I knew that he would wait longer to get in line even though he would've been in the same one.

So then came inspection to make sure that we were pure enough to go fully in. So they asked if I'd eaten seafood and I told them I'd had some crab a few weeks ago (which, in real life I actually did... and it was good! lol) and at first they were unsure if that would cause problems with the tests but then gave me the go ahead. While I was waiting for my folder to be pulled up (everyone had a file/folder that kept details of everything they'd done when alive), I glanced over to my sweetheart and the person behind the desk saw me and yelled at him to come over. He got up, with Lily, and started walking over just as I was ready to go into the final inspection room (where I was going to get all white clothing). That's when I woke up because my stomach growled and I was hungry.

Talk about an amazing dream! I've had dreams about talking to Pope John Paul II, various priests I don't know in real life, Jesus Christ himself, other saints, etc. Sometimes I wonder why I have these dreams. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind them at all! They are wonderful and often make me realize things I'm having problems with. I wonder if this dream is a sign of what I'm supposed to do -- since I've been so torn about what I should do. I mean, in the dream I was in the line where the young writers were... I was in love with someone who was so humble and selfless who loved me (maybe I'm meant to get married)... my parents had gone up to heaven and I'm starting to that that is another one of my goals in life -- to get them back to the church, just like I've wanted to do. I know we shouldn't read into dreams but it's so hard when I've had such an amazing dream. Never, in a million years, would I have guessed that something like this would've happened to me. It's amazing.

Alright, well, I think this might be today's post. lol. I am taking it easy for the rest of the day (and hopefully sleeping a bit because I am so tired) and don't anticipate doing much. If I do, I might save it up for a post tomorrow -- if I can write one, that is. :D

Okay, we'll I've taken far too much of your time already. Thanks for reading and God Bless.
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