I don’t know why but the idea of doing something special between my oblate novitiate anniversary (June 30th) and the anniversary of my Final Act of Oblation (August 22nd) popped up in my mind right as my alarm for None went off. I thought about doing the 54-day Rosary novena but didn’t know how many days were in between both anniversaries. It’s exactly 54 days! I could start on the day of my fourth novitiate anniversary and finish on the day of my second anniversary of my Oblation.
I haven’t written about this — I haven’t really talked to friends about this either — but lately I’ve had an inkling that there is about to be a major life change coming up. The last time I had this feeling was when I made my Final Act of Oblation… which I wasn’t anticipating doing until sister Elisabeth invited me to go to Clear Creek Abbey with her family that summer. As the youngins say, “it wasn’t on my bingo card.” These last couple of weeks (months?) have felt similar, but in a different way.
It sometimes seems like God has been preparing me, mentally and even spiritually (despite the spiritual aridity stemming from the perpetual brain fog), for months. All the health setbacks (more on this in a bit). All the work I’ve had to keep my spiritual life intact despite the craziness. The big mistakes I’ve made. All the “Blind Girl Achievements” I’ve made this year — some of which I haven’t even shared on this blog… It all feels like it’s part of a bigger plan; one that God has been preparing me for without me realizing it.
I could be wrong. After all, feelings and inklings can lead one astray. But, I don’t know… I can’t shake this off. And then you factor in that the idea of the Rosary novena randomly popped into my mind, just as I was about to pray… and with my history of amazing prayers answered during the novena… I think maybe I should do it.
If you’ve been reading this blog long enough, you know what big life changes have come as a result of the Rosary novena, the biggest one being the start of my vocation discernment to consecrated virginity in late 2019. I started praying for clarity on discernment of marriage with someone and it ended with prayers for discernment on whether God was called me to be a bride of Christ instead.
The only thing is that I don’t know what to pray for/about. There is something deep in me that is telling me not to pray for health; to accept and carry these health crosses. There are now the additions of a gastroenterologist and a nutritionist to my medical team as per primary doctor and endocrinologist’s requests after chronic pancreatitis and new stomach issues, most likely stemming from the long-term use of the oral hydrocortisone for my adrenal insufficiency.
I don’t think I’m meant to pray specifically about my vocation discernment either. I’m pretty much stuck where I am until I can talk to Archbishop Gomez. I have the green light from my SD to move forward but there have been a couple of obstacles along the way so it’s been going slower than I had thought it would take. But I’m in this for the long-haul. Even if I don’t get publicly consecrated, the ring has been picked out for either public consecration or private vows. And hey, new book that just arrived:
I have no idea what I need to pray for… but I feel like I need to do this novena, especially between both of my anniversaries. Maybe I just need to pray for wisdom, or perseverance, or something. Maybe I’ll have to be vague. “Whatever it is that I will need, Lord, for this chapter in my life… I entrust it and my soul into Your hands.”
Anyway, just a little something I wanted to write. It’s almost time for my snack (to take my last dose of hydrocortisone of the day) so I’ll stop here. I’ll keep y’all updated on this. All I will say is that have a very joyful feeling going forward… and I’ve yet to know why.
I hope y’all had a lovely weekend and have a great week!
As always, thanks for reading and God bless! 😊
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