Yes, I'm totally procrastinating right now... though I'm using this as my excuse to do my weekly writing for the Revolution of Love link-up. ;) Yes, I should be doing the homework assignment due tonight, which is the Weiss Intelligibility Test on a child. Yes, I've technically already completed it but I need to go over it and make sure it's done properly. Yes, it's been almost a full week since my last post. Mea culpa to it all. ;)
I wanted to write this quick blog post because I had a sudden urge to listen to MuteMath's self-titled/debut album this afternoon, specifically the song "Chaos." As I was driving, listening to the song, I remembered how this album is intrinsically linked to my official reversion a decade ago. I don't remember the official date of my official reversion. The seeds were planted June 2006 but I didn't fully commit to returning to the Church until the last week of September 2006. I want to say it was between September 24th and 26th. Those dates are sticking out in my mind but I'm not sure on what specific date I made things "official." This album, MuteMath, was released on September 26, 2006. See why I say they're linked? I actually listened to "Chaos" and loved the song before I listened to the entire album. I couldn't understand why the lyrics hit so close to home at the time -- I was still trying to figure out my thoughts and feelings -- but there was a reason why the song was sticking out.
Here's a sample of the lyrics to "Chaos":
"Chorus:
I know you stay true when my world is false
Everything around's breaking down to chaos
I always see you when my sight is lost
Everything around's breaking down to chaos
It's hard to trust anyone again
After all the let downs I've been through
Haunted by what I've been through
Air still trapped while I still can't breathe
And I'm screaming out
Give me hope somehow
And I know, yeah I know, yeah
(Chorus)..."
What I later found out was that MuteMath -- though they don't label themselves as a Christian band and will say they're not one -- is composed of musicians who just happen to be Christian. When I learned this, and went back and really listened to the lyrics, I saw why this album was the perfect companion to my reversion; the songs can easily be interpreted in terms of one's relationship with God and our faith.
When I wrote the blog post about why I stopped making plans -- serendipitously posted on September 24th, which may be the exact date of my official reversion -- the song "Control" came to mind, especially the following lyrics:
"Move me up through the darkest clouds
'Til I've lost in the sun every shadow of doubt
There is no better find than to find myself with you
In a fog you are all I see
I'm inviting you closer with each time I breathe
Surrender has somehow become so beautiful..."
Paul, the singer/writer, said the song was: "... my 4-minute sprint to get as far away as I can from everything that compels me to maintain control. My very nature wants me to play life as though it's a chess match against circumstances. Always thinking 20 moves ahead can be exhausting. This song is nothing short of an urgent prayer to find rest."
I've actually never seen this band perform live -- something always happens to prevent me from going to one of their L.A. shows -- but I've still loved their music and this album hasn't left my CD player (I didn't get an mp3 player until I was 23, Christmas of 2008) and then iPod touch since I purchased it. That's 10 years of beautiful memories attached to certain songs; different songs evoke different memories and different phases of my first 2 years of reversion.
I found that someone uploaded the entire album up on YouTube. It's been up for over a year and hasn't been taken down so I'm assuming it's okay to post/share it. If not, I'll take it down. Either way, I'm going to share it because it played such a huge part of my reversion.
Happy (belated) 10th anniversary MuteMath! Thank you for the wonderful memories and for always reminding me of the lovely journey I've been on since my official reversion.
1 comment:
Isn't it funny how certain songs can evoke so many memories, emotions and feelings from the past? Every time I hear MuteMath's Spotlight, it reminds me of when I found out I was pregnant with my youngest. :-) Anyway, happy anniversary of your reversion and thanks for linking up!
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