Sunday, February 1, 2009

Most Beautiful, and Weird, Day Ever!; Spanish Mass Conquered!

I am having, by far, the most beautiful (and super weird -- in a good way) day ever! I actually just got home from a Spanish Mass... which I went to by myself! Oh yeah... I'm getting braver! :D See, I woke up early to watch the Liverpool vs. Chelsea game (Liverpool WON! WHOO!) so that meant I could go to the English Mass without problem. Little did I know that my breakfast would get my mom and I sick. When it came time to go to the English Mass at my parish, I couldn't go. I was nauseous, my head throbbed, and I felt super fatigued. I told my dad that I would see if I felt better "in a little bit" so that I could still try to go to Mass. I ended up falling asleep and woke up an hour and a half ago. By this time, the last English Mass was half done. It would take us 15 minutes to get there so no use. I decided to give the Spanish Mass a try. I asked dad to drive me to the local parish (where I usually go to confessions) and he said alright. He didn't tell me he would just drop me off until it was too late. I got a little nervous because not only was this the first time I'd go to a Mass by myself without someone nearby in case my anxiety struck, it was the dreaded Spanish Mass which gets full beyond capacity. I called mom and let her know I would stick it out... and I DID! I was (and am) so proud of myself! :D I had virtually no anxiety; just a couple of seconds of "Can I do this?" I had this absolutely beautiful moment while I was there, too.

Since I was all the way in the back, I was the first person in line to walk up to receive communion. I had this moment where I felt like I was a bride walking up to my groom. Not only that, I felt like a blushing bride... and felt my cheeks getting warm, too. lol. I honestly, for a split second, thought "I'm going up to see my groom." It was the WEIRDEST and most beautiful feeling in the world. I had other things that happened during this time, but I want to talk to one of the priests I know first to get their take on it. Let me just say, it was an amazing and beautiful experience. So, I received Eucharist, and since I was on this beautiful high, I got the courage to try the wine. It was my first time doing that (at least since around my first communion) as well. Why I haven't had the altar wine in years... long story that includes the words "allergic reaction". What can I say... I was being brave. :D I'm not used to it so it burned my throat a little, but, man, it was so worth it. I felt complete. :D At the end of Mass, I felt happier than I've felt in a long time. *content sigh* Dad tried to make me re-think going to Mass because I was "sick" but I kept telling myself... "No, I belong in the house of the Lord. I HAVE TO be there today!" Nearly a month of missing Mass is horrible and I wasn't going to risk not going again today. I am so happy that I not only lasted throughout the entire Mass, by myself, but that I made myself stick it out. :D Si se puede, indeed!

Before all of this, I woke up from a wonderful dream. This is where all the weird parts of my day are coming forth. I dreamt I was talking to the only brother I've never met. My mother had a child over a decade before I was born. He died when he was only 11 months old. He and I have many similarities, I've always felt close to him... even though I've never met him. I've briefly mentioned some things about him in a previous post. Anyway, in the dream I had a whole conversation with him. It was weird, but very lovely. He said that he was looking out for me and that everything I did and said, he heard and saw. "After all, you're my sister" was something he said (I'm paraphrasing though). I remember I couldn't figure out whether to call him my little brother, or my big brother -- because he went to heaven as a baby, but he was born in the early 70s and I was born in the mid 80s. He seemed to think that was funny. He told me about some earthquake that would happen here "at least a 5.0" and that I should be ready for it. I have earthquake dreams often so I didn't really think twice about it. Then he said something about taking care of mom, and I decided to grab my things because of the upcoming earthquake. He showed me (I don't remember how) a holy card of St. Catherine of Sweden and said it was for mom. Then a holy card of a male saint whose name started with an R (don't remember the name, just the image on it) was left for me and it was implied that it was meant for me. Then the earthquake struck, I ran out of the house to this mini van where he apparently was waiting. Then I woke up... to the lights flickering on and off in my room. It only happened in my room, too. Mom was in another room and they didn't do that where she was. And to make sure I wasn't going crazy (haha!), we checked the digital cable box and saw that the power had indeed flickered on and off (with the To Be Announced sign on all the channel -- which happens when the power goes out). That was weird.

A little weirder still, I told my mom about the dream. We don't know much about St. Catherine of Sweden so I decided to look her up on my iPod. (Thank goodness for google search and wifi). I read my mom St. Catherine's story and my mom said "Wait... I'm 4th of 8 children too!" -- just like St. Catherine. I didn't know this! My mom was adopted as a child so I didn't know all this. Another coincidence, St. Catherine of Sweden is the patroness against miscarriages and abortions -- loss of children. So that was really weird, but cool. I put all this in the back of my mind and went to Mass, only thinking about making it through the Mass. Then Fr. Alexander starting speaking and with his homily came a name I wasn't expecting -- Moses. My brother, the one who I dreamt of last night, was named Moises (the Spanish version of the name). What weird, crazy coincidences. Nonetheless, these coincidences made me happy and made me feel like I belonged at Church today. :D

And to add to all of this: the female protagonist in my novel is named Catalina (aka Lina) which is the Spanish version of Catherine... AND Sweden is mentioned in the first paragraph of the novel. WHOO! :D

So, as you can see, I'm having a VERY weird (full of coincidences) but beautiful day. :D It's making up for yesterday when I had to miss my little adopted sister's play. :( (P.S. Trust me, De, I tried to make myself go but when it got to the point where I was literally going to faint, the plans were scrapped.)

Alright, well, I think that's enough babbling for today. :D I hope I didn't bore y'all with what's going on with me. :D I hope everyone is having (or had) a great weekend! As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D


Delaney said...

It's ok, I totally understand! *hugs* And I still love you. ;)

You got to go to Mass, Yay!

Anonymous said...

:) That's SOOOOO cool!
But dearie, you never go to Mass alone. ;)
I know at least One person who is ALWAYS with you. Don't feel like you have to be "alone" up there, ever again, sis. Christ (your groom) is ALWAYS with you! :D

Quick question. When you say your brother decided at age 11 months, did you mean that he 'descended'? Or am I not reading that right, and misunderstand the meaning? (SORRY! :P Little confused sis here...)

Ha ha! I'm addicted to my iPod and Wi-Fi too! :P

Seriously, that is SO cool! :D *hugs Emmy*
That's just... God. Always finding little tidbits and coincidences all over the place. I LOVE it when He does that!

I'm praying that today is almost as good for you dear. :D

Oh! And will you be returning to Spanish Mass? I think that would be so cool, I was just smiling really big when I read about it. For some odd reason it just seemed right, and it seemed like you found a place where your heart could meet God's! ;)

Who knows... God may have people there who you may meet and have an impact on your life, and help you become closer to Him!!! :D
That's just His ways of doing things. :P
Thanks for sharing, you made me smile, and made my day better!

Miss C.N.W. said...

I love you too, sis. We should plan something next time you're in my neck of the woods.

Yes!!! I was excited! :D

Miss C.N.W. said...

Dani- I meant "died". Total typo! Fixed it though! Thanks! I usually have two typos per post. Haha. And,, you're right... I wasn't there by myself.

Haha, us and our iPod touches. I'm actually writing this message on mine right now. We're so related. Haha!

I think I will occasionally return to the Spanish Masses. I prefer the English ones because I participate in them more --I don't know the prayers in Spanish as well as in English.

I love ya too! Awww both of my little sisters replied. That makes me very happy!