Social Media and Lent

One of my oldest friends (who I've known for over a decade) doesn't like social media very much. She uses Facebook sparingly, doesn't have a Twitter account, and takes forever to reply to messages not on FB (and sometimes even on FB). I've always admired her for this (and many, many more) reason(s).

I'm currently sitting in my room, listening to Yo-Yo Ma and Chris Botti's version of "My Favorite Things." Funny coincidence because I've decided to give up one of my favorite things for Lent: social media. Not completely but... here, let me explain...

Last week -- without any heads-up to friends -- I gave up Google Talk after a certain hour as a trial run. I've noticed that social media has become a source of stress for me so I tried to eliminate something that is easy to give up first. Giving the instant messenger I used to communicate with friends a couple of hours before bed made a huge difference. I stressed out less and was generally less anxious and more at ease. That made me think about giving up social media for Lent... but I didn't commit to the idea until earlier today.

Last night, my iPod randomly began playing the iTunes session/live version of "Going to School" from the Memoirs of a Geisha soundtrack. I didn't listen to the song last night but I did this afternoon. My friend (the same one who doesn't like social media very much) gifted me the EP almost 9 years ago when I was having a particularly bad anxiety moment. Every time I listen to the EP, I think of my friend, of that time of my life (around the time of my reversion, now that I think about it), and of how the soundtrack has always made me feel: relaxed, content, and just blissful. Reflecting on this, I knew that giving up social media (as I use it now) would be the best thing I could do this Lent.

I know I'm hyper-connected. Not as much as I used to be but, boy, I am still hyper-connected. I know a big reason for this is because most of my closest/oldest friends have moved away and/or live too far. My friend who inspired this blog post/Lent resolution lives in New England with her husband. One of my oldest friends moved to the Midwest with her husband, another close friend just moved to the East Coast with her husband and child, my oldest friend relocated to the South with her husband, and my bestie lives in the Midwest. Everyone is so scattered and I haven't seen most of them in years so we use social media to stay connected. Still, I know I shouldn't use this as an excuse to be online as much. The fact that social media regularly stresses me out because, well, some people aren't very nice and/or I'm an easy target for bored people who have nothing better to do than bother me should make me want to give it up completely. Yeah... not going to happen, at least not cold turkey. lol.

If I'm being honest with myself, I know that I'm online too much because I don't get enough human interaction, especially these days that I've been sick. Even though I'm very much an introvert, it still doesn't mean that I don't get lonely and miss having my friends around. I don't want to use that -- lack of human interaction -- as an excuse anymore. I'm going to start small (joining a specific book club in the near future) and then work my way up to other things I can do, time and money permitting.

I'm not giving up social media entirely because, well, how else am I going to keep in touch with my friends (especially those who are often times busy with their families and/or work and barely have a chance to send a quick message)? There's a reason why I only have 24 people on my current FB profile (and why it'll stay that way for a long, long time). I'm not giving up FB because that's what I use to communicate with my brother and my oldest/closest friends but Twitter will see me much less. Ditto for Instagram. If I post anything on either site it'll be because of the content, not just because I'm bored and need human interaction. I may take a little longer to reply to tweets and things because I'll need to give myself some much-needed breaks from social media, but I'll still be around if anyone needs me for whatever legitimate reason (that isn't another "hey, I'm bored... talk to me" message; those are slippery slopes to more time wasting.) 

So that's what I'm "giving up" for Lent... besides unnecessary spending. I usually don't give up things for Lent but I am this year. No more excuses. I don't have FOMO (fear of missing out); I just get bored and sometimes need some human interaction, which is easy to get through social media. Yeah, I need to work on that...

Anyway, that's part one of my Lenten goals. Yes, I have more than one post regarding Lent but the rest are things I'm taking on this Lent so... be on the lookout for that one at some point this week. Like tomorrow or Ash Wednesday. We'll see how busy I get. :)

I hope y'all are having a good start of the week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Readers Want to Know: Will & Lina Q&A

Hello, my darlings. I'd like to thank those who asked questions regarding the Will and Lina series. I had a lot of fun replying to them and it was fun to see which question was asked the most... mainly by women. I bet you can guess which one it is. ;)

Now, without further ado, the questions... and answers.

Question:
1) I loved Will! Is he based on anyone? Does he exist?!
- I'm sorry to burst bubbles but Will is not based on anyone. You'd be surprised at how often I got this question. lol. My closest friends had a good time trying to figure out who Will was based on during the writing process but no one came close because he doesn't actually exist in real life… or at least I don't know a real life Will. I wish I did but I don't. No, don't cry for me, Argentina… I'll be fine. ;)

2) Lina is based on you, right? She sounds like you!
- Yes and no. Some of Lina's experiences and personality traits were my own because, as a writer, it's easier to write what you know but Lina became her own person during the writing process. I've had friends read both novels and they go “oh, that's so you!” (example: Lina's response to Will's slip up in chapter 12 of When Two Worlds Collide) but there are some obvious differences as well. I'm definitely a lot goofier than Lina. A lot… like, an embarrassing amount. I will dance and sing in the aisles of grocery stores without realizing it until it's too late; Lina would never do that.

3) Were *chapters 4 and 5* (in London Calling) based on your real life experience with your *family member*?
- Yes. I definitely drew from real life experiences to write those chapters. I think they were the most autobiographical chapters in the series. Of course, some things were changed so it's not exactly what I went through but it's very close to what I experienced. They were, surprisingly, not the hardest chapters I had to write though.

4) How long did it take you to write the series?
I started When Two World Collide in 2008 and I finished writing it around early 2013. I worked on it on and off for years because I was in school during the first 4 years of it. I used to put it on hold for months (during the school year). I started London Calling on November 1st, 2013 and finished the rough draft about 27 days later. I fleshed it out and edited it during November 2014, after I quit the SLP program. I pulled all-nighters for that one. :)

5) What inspired you to write the books? Did you draw from your real-life experiences?
- Back when I was 23 (seems like ages ago for me), I was only two years into my reversion but I wanted to write something for young women that wasn't smutty so I thought about writing a novel. The original version of the Will and Lina story was only one novel long and it ended completely different than the series did. Actually, both characters were quite different as well; Will was a huge jerkface and Lina was a lot more reserved and cautious. But as I got older and my faith evolved, so did the characters and the plot. I did draw from real life experiences (those closest to me will know which ones) but a good portion of the plot for both novels were random ideas that popped into my mind that made sense for the story. Except for maybe 4-5 chapters (out of 37), London Calling was entirely made-up by my imagination.

6) Are there any fun facts you can share with us about either of the novels?
- Sure!
For When Two Worlds Collide: Professor Normandy is based on my former English Literature professor, Professor Maria Bates. I arrived at her name this way: Bates --> Norman Bates --> Normandy. I decided to write a character based on her because Prof. Bates was very encouraging of me applying to transfer to Oxford University (yes, THE Oxford) to study English Language and Literature.

For London Calling: Aunt Lizzy is not based on a real person but she is loosely based on Mrs. Bennet from Pride and Prejudice and Mrs. Jennings from Sense and Sensibility. That was my nod to Jane Austen.

7) This isn't series related but are you working on something else right now?
- Yep! I'm working on my first non-Will and Lina related novel right now. I have a couple of sentences written out but I'm mostly brainstorming how I'm going to tackle it at the moment. I can't say much about it except that I may just write it for fun and not publish it. I'm unsure at the moment. We'll see how it's received by friends. ;)

And that's it. Other questions that were asked but not shared on here have been answered privately because of the spoilers. The only spoiler-y question I posted was number 3 because it was asked by a couple of people. I tried to make it as "un-spoiler-y" (oh, hush; I know it's not a word) as possible for the blog post.

Again, thank you to those of you who asked questions. :D If you have any more questions, feel free to ask. I may not post them on here but I will answer them privately for you. :D

That's it for now. I should go try to drink tea and get some rest. While I was working on this blog post, I started feeling a little sick and I think it's related to what I was eating for lunch. Blah. I'll be fine. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Don't Forget to Send Me the Questions

You guys have until midnight tonight to send me any questions to may have regarding the Will and Lina series for tomorrow's blog post. I already have a couple of questions but I'll take the top questions and answer them tomorrow.

Lack of updates = busy me. Life is less crazy today (and will be even less hectic tomorrow) so I should get back into the swing of things tomorrow with the Q&A post. :D

Words of Affirmation

With Valentine's Day coming up next week (and a not so positive message I received this morning), I've been thinking a lot about words of affirmation. According to the 5 Love Languages test, I scored the highest in quality time followed by words of affirmation the first time I took it and words of affirmation followed by quality time the second time around. *shrugs* I enjoy both but I think that it's words that affect me the most.

I hate to admit it but I'm very much the type of person who gets hurt easily by someone's words. I'm sensitive (always have been) so whenever someone says something that I feel was uncalled or (especially) unjust, it weighs heavily on me. Sometimes I want to talk to friends about something that is bothering me but I hate that I can't talk to certain people because I know that their words will unintentionally make me feel worse.

One of the biggest things I've had to learn is to not let others comments affect me. It's gotten much better on social media but it's still a big obstacle with my close group of friends. I think I'm always positive when talking to someone else about their problems because that's how I'd like to be treated. Not necessarily sugar coating it, but being more positive and looking for the silver lining. I don't always get that and it's something I need to learn how to deal with because not everyone is going to be nice and/or helpful. Negative Nellies will always (unfortunately) exist.

All of this reminds me of how my own words affect others. I know when to open my mouth and when to keep it shut, but I sometimes slip. I'm human and sometimes I'm cranky or tired and I don't think before I speak. I apologize and feel bad about it but I do try to be conscious of what I'm saying. I try to remember this when others reply to me in a not-so-nice or positive tone. We all have our bad days but I think it's important to try to still try to be more positive in our words when dealing with others.

Lately, one of my friends brought up the wounds of a scourged Jesus... which made me think about the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary (which are the mysteries we're meditating on today). When I get to the second Sorrowful Mystery (the scourging), I reflect on how Jesus endured all that pain for the sins of others... including my future actions and words. When the crown of thorns was placed on His head, they spat on him and mocked him. They used words to inflict more pain on him. Then I think of all the vile things -- untrue and unjust -- that were said to and of Him and it opens up the waterworks in me. Just thinking about this makes me want to try harder to give more words of affirmation to those in my life (and even those I barely know on social media).

Some people have tougher skin than others but that doesn't mean that the words still don't affect them. They may not show it or even admit it, but words hurt. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Um, nope. Words still hurt.

This is my challenge for the weekend (which you are all invited to partake in if you'd like): use more words of affirmation, even when the situation seems bad. There's already so much negativity in this world... why should I contribute to it? Answer: I shouldn't. If nothing positive can be said, mouth is staying shut. The Liverpool vs Everton match is going to be a test for me because I'm kind of snarky during football matches. lol.

Anyway, I should go get some snail mail letters written so they can be mailed today. :)

I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

The Kindness of Strangers

Subtitle: Don't be Buster Keaton in the gif.

I haven't blogged in a couple of days because of a series of unfortunate events (though this is far from a Lemony Snicket book.) From the day of my last blog post until today, it's been "go, go, go." Let's recap, shall we?

My brother was supposed to get in at 9 a.m. on Sunday from Texas. Crazy weather had him stranded in Albuquerque, NM and then Phoenix, AZ for a couple of hours at each stop. I had to go pick him up from the airport at nearly midnight, over 14 hours late. When we returned a quarter after midnight, a drunk/high guy began harassing us for money in the parking lot. That was quite a scare because the guy was obviously not in his right mind and we were worried that he would try to hurt my brother. Thankfully, we all hauled tush back to our apartment and nothing more happened.

The following day, I woke up feeling off. I didn't want to drive; I just wanted to stay home. I guess it was a bit of women's intuition because I ended up getting sick at IKEA... and an ambulance was called. What happened? Well, you know how I'm not supposed to exercise? Guess who walked up all those stairs at IKEA? Yep. My heart pounded so hard after walking (yes, walking) up the stairs. Then I felt like I couldn't catch my breath. That led to weakness (think jell-o) feeling in my legs and a feeling like I was going to faint. I tried to catch my breath but I just seemed to feel worse and worse so I sat down next to the IKEA food area. I guess I looked pretty bad because, next thing I know, a fellow customer (a young woman) called 911 and an ambulance was sent for me.

As I lay on the floor, back on the IKEA floor, feet up on a chair, I couldn't help feeling grateful for the young woman and her mother, as they tried to get help for me. My brother stayed with me as my mom stood outside, waiting for the ambulance to arrive. My mom later told me that a young woman walked up to her and asked her if she could pray for us. At the same time, a man (who said he was a pastor) asked if he could pray for me. My brother wasn't too happy with the question but I nodded my head, letting him know it was okay. I don't care if you're not Catholic, all prayers said with good intention are always appreciated. He knelt down and asked God to be with me and heal me from whatever ailed me.

The paramedics came, one of whom looked like the late Fr. Alexander Lewis (whose last words to me were that he was going to pray for me and my anxiety). They checked my vitals: no heart problems, blood pressure and blood sugar levels were normal. Verdict: just a severe panic attack (most likely from the palpitations and pounding in head I felt; that must've triggered a serious fight or flight response in my body.) Of course. (btw, later on that night I found out that my best friend had also ended up in the ER over a similar situation; full moon conspiracy theories commence.)

The whole episode was personally embarrassing because I really don't like bothering people and I felt like I really was. After the paramedics left (after I was given instructions to go somewhere quiet and rest), I had a couple of people ask me if I was okay. One even got me a cold water bottle. I told them it was a severe panic attack and thanked them for asking. At the same time, I was reminded of the kindness of strangers.

No one had an obligation to me. None of them knew me... but they still did everything they could to make sure I received the help I needed. As I look down on my green/white/red "Verso l'alto" band (which I wear as a reminder to perform at least one act of charity daily), I'm reminded of what I've done in the past for others... and what I will continue to do in the future as a way to repay for the kindness shown to me.

It's so easy to forget to show kindness to others; to do acts of charity. We live in a society that focuses on what I can do for "me"... "me, me, me, me, me." We Millennials have the unfortunate reputation of being selfish because, yes, a good portion of us are... and this included non-Millennials. It's just the message we get -- how I can improve me (in superficial, materialistic ways), how I should be my main focus, how I need to be successful (in the world's version of successful, if you know what I mean) in order to show my worth, etc.

This week I'd like to challenge all of you (as well as myself) to think less of yourselves and more on what you can do for others. It can be something as small as helping someone picking up something they've dropped, opening the door for someone, etc. In can start at home -- taking a chore off of someone's hands, helping clean, doing something for your spouse/child/parent. Little acts of kindness add up... and they plant the seed of kindness in others.

Anyway, this is my story for the day. Oh, and if you're wondering, I'm doing well now. I slept in (woke up after 11 a.m. this morning) and I've been putting my feet up whenever I feel the palpitations (an unfortunate symptoms of anemia which I have, unfortunately, been unable to take anything for due to side effects with the iron pills.)

Alright, I have a couple of things to take care of before I head to bed so that's it. :D

I hope y'all are having a good week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D