At this point I think I can safely assume that everyone knows that I love to write. I mean, it’s even in my blog title, which I have not changed since its inception in December 2007. However, no one knows that I didn’t even realize I liked writing until my childhood best friend answered one important question: “why do you always give me notebooks and pens for my birthday?”
I haven’t talked about him in my blog before but, yes, my best friend growing up was a fella. We grew up together, living in the same apartment complex from the time I was 5 until about the age of 19. He was a year older and we never went to the same schools but we hung out after school and on weekends.
He tried to teach me how to skateboard which was hilarious because I was so bad at it. I don’t know if I can still do an Ollie but, if I can, he taught me how. I don’t remember what I tried to teach him (it was probably school-related) but I remember we had a good balance. He was strong where I was weak and vice versa. We never fought and if we disagreed, it was resolved pretty quickly.
We brought out the best in each other. I was the academic nerd and he was allergic to school. He was calm in all situations while I was a feisty firecracker. If you guys think I’m introverted, he was even more so. He was very observant… which is why I think he started giving me notebooks as gifts.
I don’t remember which birthday it was but it became an annual tradition. Every year I would get at least one notebook and some pens from him. That tradition continued until my 18th birthday. That year he added two significant gifts: an image of Christ knocking on a closed door and the answer to the question I had always wondered: why all the notebooks?
“Because you’re always writing. Always.”
That was his simple reply. I hadn’t even thought about it but he was right. Every afternoon, we would get together at one of the tables next to the pool and we’d do homework. Or he would draw and I would write. It’s always been second nature to me; to write what I’m thinking or feeling. I was also writing down the crazy ideas that would pop into my mind. I wrote my first (completed) screenplay when I was only 15-16 years old. I wrote many parody songs before then. I entered my first writing contest when I was 10 years old and came in second place, something I was very proud of because I’d done it on my own. When I say I was a real-life Anne Shirley (protagonist of the Anne of Green Gables series) I mean it.
From that point on, I was very aware of how much writing was a part of who I was (and still am). And I owe that to him.
Sadly, we lost touch shortly before I turned 19 because that’s when he and his family moved away. A lot of people assumed we would end up together because of how much time we spent together and how well we got along… and that was ultimately what ended our friendship.
Long story short, a parent (neither of mine) was very keen on having us get married very young and it was suggested that I be forced (yes, forced) into the marriage. I was 18 and he was 19 at the time. We never dated and I think I was in a relationship with someone else at the time. He and his family moved away shortly after that incident and we lost touch. The last time I talked to him was when I was about 20 years old, when he called to see how I was doing. I didn’t find out about what happened until after my father’s death many years later.
I don’t know what became of him. I recently found out that he had gotten bone cancer a few years ago but I don’t know if he passed from it or not. I think it was pretty advanced but don’t know the details or outcome. I pray for him regardless of whether he beat cancer or not. I have such lovely memories of him and our shared childhood adventures and that’s something I thank God for.
This friend not only opened my eyes to my love for writing but, as I said, his gift on my first year of official adulthood became somewhat prophetic. I’ve spent more years of my adulthood as a writer than any other career. I also returned to the Church which wasn’t even on my radar at 18. He wasn’t Catholic but we’ve always had a lot of images and statues of saints at home so I think that inspired him to give me the image of Christ.
Why am I bringing him up? Because I’ve been reflecting a lot on my friendships and past relationships lately. Never have I been more aware of how we truly are the company that we keep. I’ve noticed that certain friendships bring out the absolute best in me… while others have the opposite effect. Whatever my vocation is, community (my “tribe”) is so important. I want to make sure that I’m not only surrounded by people who will inspire and challenge me to become the best version of myself but that I can do the same for others. I’ve come to realize that those in my inner circle — those who I trust with my life and even my soul — are few but that God has truly given me amazing friends. I know they’ll undoubtedly help me reach Heaven one day. They may not realize it now but God will show the fruits of their love one day.
To all my close friends: thank you for putting up with my shenanigans. Thank you for loving me and not giving up on me, even when I make horrendous mistakes.
To all my friends: thank you all for your friendships. I value each and every one of you.
To my former friends: whether we’re no longer friends because we grew apart or because things ended badly, thank you. Thank you for what you taught me and for helping make me who I am now.
And to R (my childhood best friend): thank you for helping me realize what I loved the most. Thank you for the respect you showed me, even as we tried to navigate through our crazy teen years surrounded by madness. I don’t know where you are now but I will always pray for you.
Anyway, I think that’s all I can write about on this topic at this time. I know that God is opening up my eyes to my friendships and former relationships for a reason and I cannot wait to see what good will come of it.
I hope you’re all doing well!
As always, thanks for reading and God bless!
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