Wednesday, March 4, 2015
It's Oh So Quiet
As I previously mentioned, I'm not a huge fan of silence. I have to have some sort of noise going on in the background, even if it's a white noise app playing softly. If music is playing, that would be ideal, but chatter, a TV show (or movie), or, really, any sort of noise is usually preferred. However, the deeper we get into Lent, the more I'm learning to not only like silence but also treasure quiet moments. (side note: the introvert in me is ecstatic over this since my life had been too noisy lately.)
I'm seeing big results due to my attempts to "quiet down" some parts of my life. Busy social media presence was too noisy so I've attempted to curve a lot of that and it's been great thus far. I've been listening to the radio / music less when driving in the car; I even forget to turn on the radio at times! At night I will set aside at least an hour of reading (after prayers, which also involve more quiet time) before I go to sleep. Last night: I finished an entire 231 page book in a little over 4 hours and it was fantastic. I lost sleep but it was still good. ;) Not only has quieting the outside world been great for me, it's been fantastic for my interior castle (as St. Teresa of Avila might've said).
I've noticed some big changes in me since I implemented some of the decisions I made prior to and during Lent. Big changes that I'm sure have left my own mother surprised... which is hard to do. I can't explain it but something inside has changed. I can pinpoint what decision I made that has made this change and all I can say (for now) is that it's opened me up to a whole new world of possibilities... and I feel like I'm finally really quiet enough to listen to what God has probably been trying to say to me for a long time.
Last night I had a wonderful conversation with a young woman who (despite being nearly a decade younger than I am) inspires me to be a better person and a more faithful Catholic. I prayed that the Holy Spirit would give me the right words to say to her. At the end, I felt -- deep down -- that it was just a confirmation of something I've been thinking about for a long time: working with youth and young adults in a church setting. I'm not sure if it means I'll work in some sort of youth ministry or if I'm being prepared to work at a school but helping young Catholics seems to be my calling. I've had little moments in which I've felt certain but never have I ever felt as certain (and at peace) as I did last night. Like I said, I'm not sure in what capacity but I'm so excited to see what God has in store for me. And all of this because I quieted down another part of my life which would've made this nearly 1-2 hour conversation impossible to have in the first place.
So, yes, silence has been wonderful... and it's been challenging. Without going into too much detail, I'm sure my need for more silence hasn't been a popular decision with others but it's been something I should've done years ago. I needed to do it for myself. I feel as if it's broken the arid spell I was having in my prayer life and *bonus* it's made me feel closer to God -- something I haven't felt in a really, really long time. Silence, the Lenten St. Therese book, and the Married Saints and Blesseds Through the Centuries book have been my good friends this Lent... and it's only the beginning. If this is the only thing I get out of this Lenten season, I would say it's been a successful one.
Anyway, just wanted to share this. I would write more except... well, I wouldn't have anything to share later on, now would I? ;) That and I have to go pick up my mom from work. lol.
I hope y'all are having a good week thus far!
As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D