Tuesday, August 12, 2008

You Know You're Catholic When...

Feeling better today, my dears. I still don't have much time to talk online but I thought I'd leave you these lists that I thought were hilarious... and so true. lol. The first list is from a now-defunct Catholic blog called LAMLand and the second is from a facebook group called "You Might Be a Hardcore Catholic If..." I hope you all enjoy the lists and have a chuckle. :D

You know you're Catholic when...

1. ...every time you go into your pantry you feel a strange compulsion to cross yourself and say, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned..."
2. ...guilt is your best friend, and you feel obligated to share it with others.
3. ...You genuflect before entering your seat at the theater.
4. ...if you only crave hamburgers and steaks on Fridays during Lent and you crave fish every other day in Lent... just never on Fridays.
5. ...if you sneak into protestant churches, sprinkle holy water, and hide blessed medals.
6. ...you can only recite the Creed when around large groups of people.
7. ...you make the sign of the cross when you pass in front of a Catholic church.
8. ...you hear the Angelus bells and begin saying the Angelus to yourself.
9. ...just about every special interest group in the country hates your guts.
10. ...you have an overwhelming compulsion to say, "And also with you," when Yoda says, "May the Force be with you."
11. ...someone says they're going to KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) and you think they are going to bingo at the K of C.
12. ...someone asks you your favorite Madonna song and you say “Hail Holy Queen.”
13. ...you hide anti-Catholic books in the library and bookstore behind other books on the shelf.
14. ...you have to remember which bottle has the holy water and which bottled has the water for drinking.
15. ...you know how to process, keeping two pews between you and the person in front, keeping lined up with your partner, walking without bobbing or swaying, and you genuflect on graduation day when you get to your seat.
16. ...you know at least 5 sins that can be committed against each of the 10 commandments.
17. ...you pray a Hail Mary when you hear a fire truck or ambulance siren.
18. ...all your children have saint names instead of names chosen from celebrities.
19. ...You have a rosary hanging from your dash.
20. ...you have a holy water fountain at your door and a religious picture and crucifix in every room.
21. ...your son calls home after being gone and the first thing you ask is have you been attending Mass.
22. ...one of your crucifixes has five years worth of dried out palms stuck behind it.
23. ...they know you at every Catholic bookstore in the area, and ask you where you've been if you haven't stopped by in a while.
24. ...you measure your life by the number of Popes who have come and gone.
25. ...after making the Sign of the Cross at the start of the Rosary, you say "Bless us O Lord and these Thy gifts..."
26. ...you spend the first five minutes of the day untangling your scapular from your Miraculous Medal.
27. ...you have a St. Christopher medal in you car.
28. ...you know more than 15 recipes for preparing tuna fish.
29. ...you refer to other religions as "Non-Catholic".
30. ...you carry prayer cards in your purse or wallet.
31. ...You know a family whose every daughter has Mary, or every son has John Paul either as the first or middle name.
32. ...your coworkers point out that you have something on your face and as they go to wipe it off for you, you duck and scream, "No, they’re my ashes!!"
33. ...you know when Advent and Lent begin and what day is Easter

You Might Be a Hardcore Catholic If...
-you've accidentally genuflected at a place other than church ex. the movie theatre, school auditorium
- you're sick of being asked why priests can't be married.
- you have a "favorite" religious order.
- you say the meal prayer no matter where you are.
- you have a Nativity set at your house during Christmas, and have also played with it.
- you've accidentally made the sign of the cross when leaving regular buildings.
- whenever anyone says "JPII" in your head you think "We love you".
- you know that Father Stan could take on Eminem any day.
- you LOVE the book Captivating and/or Wild at Heart (Even though they were written by non-Catholics).
- you know that Advent is the beginning of the new church year.
- you have a special place in your heart for Mother Teresa.
- you're more than willing to come forth with a valid miracle to help Mother Teresa become a saint.
- You know at least five people named Mary.
- You want to name one of your sons John Paul.
- you have a Mary statue in your front yard.
- You can name off all the Joyful, Glorious, Sorrowful, and Luminous mysteries.
- you consider your rosary to be your spiritual weapon.
- You've memorized the St. Michael the Archangel prayer and recite it when you feel tempted by sin.
- one or more of your friends entered the seminary or the convent.
- you have 20+ cousins.
- your mom is currently pregnant.
- you and your spouse practice NFP (Natural Family Planning).
- you believe in Purgatory and know it's important to pray for the souls who are currently in Purgatory.
- you get excited whenever Matt Maher releases a new album! Yea "Overflow"!!
- you think Scott Hahn writes the coolest books.
- you live chastity and are saving yourself for your future spouse.
- you're able to sit still for a full hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
- your idea of a great date is Mass followed by good conversation at a local coffee shop.
-You refer to John Paul II as John Paul the Great.
- you never leave home without your scapular.
- you are discerning the religious life.
- you often end disputes with, "Let's look it up in the Catechism."
- you and your friends have shown up at Adoration at 4:00 in the morning.
- when watching Star Wars and hear "May the force be with you" you respond with "And also with you".
- your mom always says "4 kids, Catholic".
- you have participated in sword fights using Palms on Passion Sunday.
- you've run into your Parish Nuns at a Cardinal's game.
- XLT is the big event of the month in which you invite everyone you know (in St. Louis that is).
- you and friend friends ever played "Mass" instead of House, or Cops and Bad Guys.
- You have your own designated seat at Mass.
- they know you at every Catholic bookstore in the area, and ask you where you’ve been if you haven’t stopped by in a while.
- on the night before the first Sunday of Advent you and your friends have a Liturgical New Year's Eve party, and count down to the new Liturgical Year!!
- you're named after a saint, not a family member.
- you know at least three awesome stories about Padre Pio.
- you get excited about going to Mass. (Side note: Oh, this is a big YES for me. lol)
- you arrive at Mass half an hour early to get a good seat and talk to Jesus.
- Redemptive Suffering gets you through sports.
- your mom always makes sure to celebrate your feast day.
- altar serving was the cool thing to do.
- You associate the smell of incense with major feast days.
- You attend multiple retreats per year.
- you point at your friends in line for confession calling them sinners and everyone laughs as you get to the end of line.
- Your teachers grade you down when you write papers about moral issues and papers involving God. (Side note: We'll see this semester. ;D)
- you've ever referred to yourself and your significant other as "a couple discerning a vocation to marriage".
- You and your many siblings went trick-or-treating dressed as Popes and martyrs.
- you feel compelled to make the sign of the cross after reciting ANYTHING... (happens after the pledge of allegiance almost every morning!) and then you catch yourself and have to remind yourself that it wasn't a prayer.
- If you have a priest come bless your house with holy water before you move in.
- You never eat before church, and brunch afterwards is always the best!
- Your first serious conversation you have with a potential girl/boyfriend involves your conversion story.
- You lie awake at night wondering why the St. Michael Prayer was removed from the end of Mass.
- The word "vocation" to you does not simply mean "job".
- People tend you look in your direction in class whenever anything involving religion comes up.
- You always have one or more saints on some part of your body.
- You have a Rosary or Saint Christopher pin in your car.
- One of your Crucifixes has five years worth of dried out palms stuck behind it.
- You would rather get your picture with the Pope then with a huge celebrity. (YES!)
- You have more than one Rosary hanging from your bed.
- You have contemplated being in a religious order at least once.
- Your one wish is to be able to ride in the Popemobile.
- you have a small family because most of your uncles and aunts are priests and nuns.
- you say "God bless you" anytime anyone sneezes, out of habit.
- You know the greatest way to start a date is with The Mass, because you'll have the greatest meal, Christ in the Eucharist.
- You know more about St. Francis of Assisi than "he was some guy who could talk to animals".
- you have had multiple meetings with the priest at your own will.
- all your pens and post-its say "Discover the Priesthood".
- You had competitions with your friends on Ash Wednesday to see who could keep their ashes on the longest.
- You still write "Your Kingdom Come!" or "JMJ" at the top of your page/letter/report/test.
- You find yourself asking all the cute boys whether or not they've ever considered becoming a priest instead of asking them for their number.
- You spend your Thursday nights at choir practice hanging out with people at least thirty-five years older than you in preparation for Sunday Mass.
- You mentally correct every textbook use of "BCE" and CE" with "Before Christ" and "Anno Domini". You also mentally capitalize every written use of the word "God" and "Mass".
- You know that some Catholics don't eat meat on Wednesdays or Fridays, even not during Lent.
- you live in the Vatican.
- you find that praying the Rosary is a good way to pass the time (especially at work).
- you get really excited over a holy day of obligation.
- if you are tired of people referring to the birth of Jesus the Immaculate Conception.
- you've ever been told my your mom, "Offer it up", and then felt very obliged to do so.
- when discussing possible names for your future children with friends or your future spouse, you start ruling out names that aren't virtues, saints, or biblical.
- you've ever thought it would be fun to read the CCC as if it were a novel.
- you instinctively grab the person's hand next to you when it's time to pray.
- you hug strangers at Mass during the sign of peace.
- when you hear someone's name read off, you think in your head "pray for us".
- you've ever ruled out dating someone because they weren't Catholic.
- you tell other people your last name, they begin spouting off names of people that you are probably related too.
- You plan what to wear based on the liturgical color of the day.
- You hold office hours at the Catholic Center/Catholic Student Center/Newman Center.
- You and your roommates have scheduled "spiritual nights" to discuss whatever issues of faith that are on your mind that week.
- You think getting a S.T.D. is cool...(S.T.D.= Doctorate of Sacred Theology)
- you held a Pope party (complete with Papal flag, and German beer) for the election of the B XVI (it was a Tuesday night).
- you were disappointed when you couldn't find a Catholic version of trivia pursuit. (Side note: OH YEAH!)
- When you tell the someone who your favorite musical artists are they have NO IDEA who you are talking about.
- When you hear the word Madonna, you think of the Blessed Virgin, not the song "Like a Virgin."
- You know that "prostrate" is not a place where men develop cancer.
- you convince your roommate that Jesus loves Him/Her no matter what religion they are.
- Instead of change, you find a rosary under your couch cushions.
- when you've said the Rosary outside a Planned Parenthood in protest with a Respect Life group.
- You look at this list and laugh really hard, because you know it's so true.
- you have at one point had to stop a younger sibling from playing in the Holy Water font.

I'm gonna add one to the list:
- You have an account on xt3.com (:D)

I'm sure there are more but those were all that are listed. If you have any more you'd like to contribute to the list, please don't hesitate to leave me a message either on here or through e-mail. :D

Alright, well that's all for now. Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
.

6 comments:

Lady Rose said...

LOL, so funny, and so true! I love reading these things. My favorites is "genuflecting at the movie theater", because I do it ALL the time!

Miss C.N.W. said...

Haha, do you really? I sometimes do the sign of the cross the second I step on campus, without evening thinking about it.

Delaney said...

Aha, I can't believe I didn't see this post! Those are great! #19 needs a part 2: "You wave at other people who have a rosary on their dash while driving"

Miss C.N.W. said...

Haha. Oh man, that's a good one! Have you done that?

Bridget said...

Always have everyone make the sign of the cross before a long car or plane trip!

emily7103 said...

I lost it laughing reading about the "five years worth of dried palms stuck behind your crucifix."