Blessed Ash Wednesday, everyone! I wish I was donning ashes on my forehead like almost all of my other Catholic friends but, alas, another day stuck at home. It’s my third ash-less Ash Wednesday which stinks but God knows shy we were unable to attend even the local parish.
Even though I’ve yet to attend Mass in person (soon to be 16 months) and get myself to confession (going on two and a half months now), I’m still living my life as liturgically as possible so we (Mom and I) are observing Lent in this household. I have no idea what she gave up, but I can share what I’ve given up.
I’ve chosen to give up a couple of things to may seem small but they are all significant in one way or another. I purposely chose one very hard thing and the other more moderately hard things because, well, I’m a “go big or go home” person and that’s a recipe for failure most of the time. That’s why the Benedictine life is perfect for me (moderation is key) and why I also run everything like this through my spiritual director. I wanted to do two big spiritual reading books and he had to veto the more intense one. I thank God for my SD every day because, goodness, I really do need someone to bring me down from my overachieving tendencies that leave me burnt out.
The big hard thing I’m giving up is music. Yes, you read that right. Yes, friends have already express their shock and wished me luck. Haha! For those of you who are new around here: music is my love language. It’s through music that I’ve often gotten answers to prayers and conundrums I’m dealing with. It’s through music that I’ve found I best express myself when my own words fail. It’s my safety blanket; my constant friend. But, I feel like God is asking me to give it up this Lent and embrace the silence.
Even beyond the physical and mental advantages of having more silence, I really need it to be able to hear His voice. I’ve been slowly weaning myself from the constant soundtrack of white noise sounds, podcast episodes, audiobooks, etc. Silence is hard for me… which is why I decided to not listen to anything with lyrics. I will give Gregorian chants and music in Mass a free-pass because those are essential but I won’t actively seek it out. If I do need music — and sometimes I do need it for the sake of my sanity with the, ahem, special neighbors we have — it will be classical in nature… but even that will be reserved for dire situations.
I’m also giving up audiobooks — and cancelling Audible for the foreseeable future — as well as fiction that is not Catholic in nature. There is a big reason why I’ve chosen this that is going to stay between God, my SD, and myself but let’s say that words have gotten me into trouble lately and I need to immerse myself in Scripture, words of the saints, and anything else that is edifying to my soul. This is also a big part of why novel four hasn’t seen the light of day yet… I want to be careful with not only what I’m consuming (in terms of media, literature included) but also what I’m putting out into the world. Words matter and never has that been more abundantly clear to me than it has in the last couple of weeks. And, yes, there will be a part two to this in the future,
I’m also adding one thing to my list: daily Mass. I started it two weeks before Lent last year and I kept it up for several months until I started feeling more sick and decided that rest would be better because I was no longer paying attention in Mass. I felt terrible spacing out and/or getting so distracted that I would miss all of the Mass readings and/or the Mass in general. It felt disrespectful so I stopped. But I did notice the major difference between watching/listening to daily Mass and only tuning in on Sundays and, wow, yeah, I need daily Mass.
There is one other big thing I’m going to be doing during the Lent season but since it overlaps with Project 2005, I’ll keep it to myself for now. Yes, I will share it when I can reveal with the project was and what I did. I’m keeping notes of what I’m doing and when.
Besides that, I’m going to try to keep the spirit of the season as well as I can. I think being Benedictine and trying to become a better Oblate will be very helpful during this season. Reading the Holy Rule of St. Benedict (which we’re to do every day) helps remind me of this. To keep my naturally talkative/joking style of speaking to a minimum and really see whether I’m telling a humorous story to benefit myself or to benefit someone else; hint: it’s usually for myself. Again, I want to be careful with my words — more so than I have been before — and following the Holy Rule will help remind me.
Anyway, just wanted to share my Lenten plans to keep myself accountable. I have some spiritual reading planned — one book on my own and one I’ll be discussing with my spiritual director — and I have one conference (possibly two) that I’ll be attending (virtually) during the Lenten season that I hope to share with y’all afterwards.
Anyone else doing something that isn’t common (e.g. giving up social media) that they know won’t be easy for them? Please feel free to share.
That’s it for now. I’m going to go watch today’s daily Mass from bed (as usual) and try to keep the silence as well as I can for the rest of the day.
I hope you all have a good start to the Lenten season!
As always, thanks for reading and God bless! 😊
P.S. For those who are following me on Instagram (@roseatefelicity) and are wondering if I’ll share about the “Blind Girl Achievements”, the answer is yes! Just give me a couple of days when I’m less busy so I can really sit down and write about the experience.
1 comment:
I've tried to give up music as well, for Lent. Admittedly though, I've needed the Sunday breaks. The go big or go home thing resonates, and I've felt God has really graced me (indulged I also felt) when I've gotten to do a lot; however, I can't get everything I'd imagine doing. Nor should I, as I think He wants me to know it's a gift, given from Him, that I'm giving back.) I've felt the same struggles you've written about, when it comes to silence, among the other things, so trying to put myself in a situation to force myself into it, is part of the plan. I've also tried praying the Seven Sorrows Rosary. I haven't read the recent book by Immaculée Ilibagiza yet, it was her other older one I read, that the Blessed Virgin Mary wanted more people to know it and to pray it. The world needs it, especially now, more then ever.
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