 Photo by Dolina Modlitwy |
| Merry Christmas, everyone! Yes, we Catholics have only just begun celebrating while the secular world is quickly getting ready for the New Year. |
I don’t know how your Christmas celebrations went but I hope they were better than ours as we (Mom and I) were both unwell… and continue to be so.
The end of Advent (which I began to write as “Lent” — Freudian slip!) was difficult for everyone in this household. I can’t talk about my mom’s stuff but I can tell you that I had another puzzle piece to my medical mystery solved… and the diagnosis admittedly bummed me out.
Without revealing the actual condition (as it’s one that I don’t wish people to look up), my dermatologist finally diagnosed with an inflammatory skin condition. It’s a mild form of it (thank goodness!) but it’s more serious and painful than eczema or psoriasis. I’ve been dealing with this particular thing for years though it had gone dormant for years. The latest flare-up has not gone away since popping up early last month, which is very unusual for me as previous flare-ups have only lasted a (painful week). I won’t go into detail about things but let’s say I can barely walk — or even move!) for a majority of the days when the flare-ups are at their worst. Unfortunately, there is no cure… and I can’t even take medication for it.
Having Addison’s was already hard but I didn’t realize just how delicate my situation was until the dermatologist told me I couldn’t take the medication to help the condition’s symptoms because it would negatively affect my Addison’s. Since we’re trying to keep me from having a potential adrenal crisis, the medication was ruled out. I was given the “weakest and lowest” treatment option for when flare-ups pop up and will have to go in for a more painful procedure when the flare-ups are so bad that my only treatment option isn’t enough. I already had a minor surgery to eliminate part of the problem but since it’s not localized to one area, it only helped that particular area and the rest can’t be helped with surgery.
I think hearing the doctor say, “basically, your body is attacking itself” and being told it was permanent and incurable was what was hardest for me. I already knew it wasn’t in its best shape due to Addison’s and my current endocrinologist (as well as other doctors) speculate that I may have another autoimmune condition that has yet to be diagnosed but it was still hard to hear. I was initially stunned — I couldn’t believe what I had was an actual disease… and that it took years to diagnose! — but eventually that wore off.
On the way home, I started tearing up. I was feeling sorry for myself. Another condition… and one that couldn’t even be controlled with medication. Thankfully, that little pity party didn’t last more than a minute or two as I had a beautiful thought pop into my mind, “This will only unite me closer to our crucified Lord.” Thinking about how my physical suffering was only going to increase, that I would be able to (in a very minuscule way) share in His suffering was beautiful. Thinking about how I could offer up even more… how *this* may be what I needed to feel closer to Him… that this was an immense gift instead of a burden… it set off a fresh wave of tears, though they were happy and consoling instead of mournful. The amount of love I felt for Him was indescribable.
Suddenly, why St. Veronica and St. Pío of Pietrelcina (Padre Pío) were randomly chosen as my patrons of the 2022-2023 liturgical year made sense. My condition will cause a lot of bleeding (sorry for the TMI) and physical pain. St. Veronica is patroness against bleeding — and she witnessed, firsthand, the physical wounds of Our Lord — and St. Pío had stigmata on his hands which bleed. The coincidence is too great to call it a coincidence. I’m not saying that the saint name generator is some sort of fortune cookie as we Catholics should not believe in those superstitious and New Age-y things, but I’m so grateful that I had these two saints in my corner shortly before the official diagnosis was made.
There are some changes I will be making to try to help my condition. My wardrobe is going to have a couple more changes as looser fitting clothing will help. I had already begun gravitating towards high-waisted skirts and dresses that are also A-line so it’ll be perfect to continue to do. Men, think 1950s style if the terminology is going over your heads. I’m also going to change the fabric I use to more cotton and other fabrics that won’t aggravate the skin.
I’m also going to change my diet (read: what I eat; I don’t actually “diet” as I’m not trying to lose weight). It seems like dairy, red meat, and processed foods don’t help the situation. Dairy will be a hard one for me as I love my milk (I drink at least two glasses per day, not counting the Greek yogurt I also consume daily) but if it’s for my own good, I’ll make the adjustments. I don’t eat as much red meat as I used to so that will be easier. I’ve already been eating as many whole (read: little to no processed) foods as possible so this will continue.
At the moment, it looks like there’s a possibility of a flare-up beginning so I’ll just have to rest, hydrate, and do what I can to help it not get as bad as it was early last month. And if it *does* get that bad again, I’ll have to ask St. Veronica and St. Pío to help me focus on the good that can come of it. If this all helps me stay closer to Christ, I welcome it. I don’t know how it’ll impact my Addison’s (I don’t have my follow-up endocrinology appointment until February) but I leave my health and my life in His hands and I will try to not worry to much over it.
Anyway, that’s it from me for now. It’s somewhat quiet right now so I’m going to try to take a nap before the neighbors get rowdy again. I haven’t been sleeping well for weeks because my neighbors have been louder than usual lately and I still haven’t found earplugs that won’t hurt my sensitive ears and skin.
I hope you are all having a lovely start of Christmastide. Remember that it doesn’t end for another 9 days…. Or until February 2nd if you follow the traditional calendar like I do.
As always, thanks for reading and God bless!
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