A Break from Novel Four

 

(Originally posted on my Instagram account this afternoon.)

I’ve been on a creative kick that has allowed me to work out a lot of gaps in the novel that I needed to figure out. It’s been wonderful & on some days I’ve felt like I didn’t have enough hours to write. & then I hit a major case of writer’s block today that started stressing me out. 

“I have a deadline! I have my heart set on getting it published on May 27th! Why now?!”

Through the words of Ven. Fulton Sheen (who was speaking on my “best friend in Heaven”, St. Therese), I realized that this break was a gift from God for several reasons.

I was straying off the path I wanted to take this novel in order to not “alienate” potential readers. Instead of speaking the truth, I was tiptoeing around certain topics to avoid “triggering” people.

I saw pride rearing its ugly little head in having one more accomplishment, despite my visual impairment, that I could boast about.

After praying None, I was reminded of a conversation I had with my spiritual director several weeks ago. The current version of novel is entirely different from when I started. I didn’t like the message it was giving so I took it to prayer. After the Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati novena, the new direction became clear & it worked for several weeks… until I started straying again. It didn’t really hit me until I couldn’t figure out how to bridge the midpoint of the novel to the ending.

I think God may be calling me to take a little break to pray. I know feelings can lead us astray but I feel a desire to take this novel to prayer — more specifically to sit in silence before the Blessed Sacrament — & let Him guide me as to what to do with it. 

“It’s not ready” are the words I hear from my Beloved in the deepest parts of my heart. “Take a break & spend time with Me. This is more important.”

So, that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to take a break from writing. Now that I know EWTN has a live adoration feed, I’m going to spend some time in contemplative silence & be with Him. I don’t know what will happen in the future but I don’t believe anything bad will come from this. On the contrary, I believe this is far more important “work” than what I’ve been doing the last couple of months.