Thursday, December 22, 2016

When People React Strongly to Your Blog Posts

Okay, wow... I did not expect the response I got from the blog post on Mental and Emotional Purity. Some of the comments were positive and I found out there were more like-minded people. Others were... not in agreement and made it known. I act felt attacked by a couple of comments but I tried to let it roll off of me because I knew what I had posted. I knew people were going to feel strongly about it but I also knew that I wanted to share my own thoughts. Still, I wasn't anticipating how much was misinterpreted.

I thought I'd made my thoughts clear in the post that those were my own thoughts and feelings on the subject. I thought I'd made it clear that I didn't have an issue with sex; I just don't want to hear about other people's experiences, especially when it gets graphic. I wasn't expecting for people to make me feel like there was something wrong with me for choosing to not want to hear or think about these things. I wasn't expecting people to throw (and I'm paraphrasing) "well, if you have an issue with chastity..." comments in my face. I wasn't expecting to feel as terrible as I did. But I did... and I had to remind myself that those were just other people's opinions and that I'm fine with my own thoughts because it's what I feel is right for me.

Funnily enough, no one talked about the issue of being careful with things like Hallmark movies or chick lit books. No, everyone focused on the part in which I mentioned sex. Go back and see for yourself... I talked more about the emotional part. No one touched that. It was interesting.

I've been reading Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love: Practical Insights from John Paul II's Love and Responsibility by Edward Sri and a lot of what I was trying to say in the blog post was written perfectly in the book. I haven't read anything on Theology of the Body and I'm still learning about human sexuality from a Catholic perspective -- I've only gotten an "education" on human sexuality from liberal professors at secular colleges -- but it all pretty much aligns with what my thoughts and feelings about it. (side note: If you haven't read the book, or Pope St. John Paul II's Love and Responsibility, I highly recommend both.)

I don't regret what I wrote because I wanted to be honest with my thoughts and feelings on the subject. It was also a wonderful conversational starter with some people who disagreed but wanted to talk more about where I was coming from. People who bothered to talk to me about what I had written -- to make sure they understood where I was coming from -- ended up knowing that I meant no harm in what I had written. Those who made their comments (some very harshly) and didn't bother to continue dialogue after speaking their mind and reading my responses, I'm not angry with y'all. I'm sad we couldn't talk about it in a civil way but it's okay.

I'm going to continue writing about my thoughts. I did warn everyone that this was going to happen. I'm going to lose readers like I lost Twitter followers a couple of days ago. That's fine. As I said a couple of days ago, I'm going through a lot of changes (including some big life changes) so I'm going to be writing about how I'm changing, which includes changes to my thoughts on certain topics. This isn't a challenge or me flipping the bird to anyone; I simply want to stay authentic.

Anyway, I wanted to clear the air for those who were/are still unhappy with what I wrote. Again, it wasn't a judgment about anyone (I made sure I included that disclaimer in the blog post; you can go back and read it for yourselves if you don't believe me); I was simply talking about why I've chosen to avoid speaking, seeing, or hearing about sex. That's it. I won't be expanding further on it because I feel like I'm talking about it enough. I may revisit the topic of human sexuality in the future (though not anytime soon; I have other things I wish to write about) and I hope that those who stick around to share my journey with me will remember that what I write about is about what affects me personally, no one else.

Since there is a break from the rain (we've had rain in L.A. over the past 24 hours or so), I'm going to go make a quick grocery run since the rain is supposed to come back -- and it's supposed to be heavier -- later today through tomorrow. Need to stock up on basics, especially since we're now a few days away from Christmas. Time has flown by this year. :)

I hope y'all are doing well. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D


Stephen said...

I didn't post a comment because I thought what you wrote was very clear. And it's something that I've found myself striving more towards - to not to choose to look at or listen to or read material that what many in secular society would consider normal. Lord knows I have enough struggles already without having to deal with those temptations too! And I too have recently gone through and purged some music and movies that I once liked but have found less and less... appealing in their content and presentation. Also been finding the same with many, if not most, tv shows out there now too.

It's not that I'm a prude - it's just something that as I find less and less appealing. Maybe it's because it I am drawn to God more and more, and to less of the things of this world, maybe it's because I would rather see the true and beautiful in people, and in 'Love', than to reduce people to, well, objects and parts for my own entertainment.

And reading St. John Paul the Great's Theology of the Body is definitely in my 'To Read' pile, and something I'm looking forward to - and well it seems that I now need to add his Love and Responsibility (thanks for the suggestion!) to the pile.

Blessings on you Emmy... and as they say, just keep swimming!

J. A. said...

Hi, Emmy!

You're not alone. I fastforward scenes in movies all the time because I know what I watch affects the thoughts I have.

Since no one talked about the chick flicks from that post, I thought I might write down my two-cents' worth opinion :)

I have found that when I watch rom coms, I struggle with my emotions afterwards. It can be fun to watch those movies on some girls' night in, but yeah - I've finally figured out that it's not worth the emotional toll for me. I 100% think that what entertainment you consume can and does affect your thoughts and emotions.

Kudos to you for knowing yourself! It's encouraging to know there are other women out there - like you - who share similar views on this subject.