Too Busy for Self-Care

Raise your hand if you feel the need to always be doing something; to always have something going on. *raises both hands.* This past week has been crazy busy for me. How busy? It had gotten to the point where I wasn't taking good care of myself. I was not sleeping well, nor getting enough water, nor eating enough calories into my diet (which is a huge "no no" for someone trying to gain or maintain weight).

Do you remember my blog post from this past Tuesday in which I wrote that I wasn't ready for Lent because I didn't get to finish everything I wanted to do before it began? Remember that long list of things I "had" to do? Guess what: I didn't need to do all of them at once. No, I just decided to overwhelm myself, unconsciously. When a good friend asked me what I would be giving up for Lent and I provided the shorten version of my actual list, he straight up told me it was too much. I'm grateful for our friendship because he's one of the few people who will tell me things I need to hear, just like this example. I had taken on too much for Lent; I just didn't notice it because I have this really terrible habit of feeling like I need to stay busy.

I stick by what I wrote about self-care this past summer. I still think we've made an idol out of being busy. Sadly, I found myself stumbling back into that habit of neglecting myself because I had too much going on. When I noticed that I was extremely fatigued and mentally sluggish last night, I remembered that I hadn't had more than 8 ounces of water to drink... and it was after 10 p.m. Oops. After I drank 16 ounces of that lovely H2O I was revived. My mental clarity sharpened and the fatigue diminished. I also didn't eat well yesterday (or the previous day). Sigh. Thankfully I've recognized that I had fallen back into this old, terrible habit this week (I'm sure if has to do with it being the first week of Lent) so I can work on it. It's only been a couple of days (not a full week). I'm not a lost cause yet. lol.

I had a really busy day planned for Thursday, to the point where I was slightly overwhelmed by the time crunch. I had an appointment in the morning, then I was going to run errands, and do x, y, z. Then Amazon decided to have a package arrive days earlier than expected so I had to rearrange some things. As I got home to wait for a package from Amazon to arrive, I noticed that someone had sent me flowers. The same friend who pointed out that I had taken on too many things for Lent had sent bouquet of a dozen beautiful yellow roses. I literally stopped what I was doing to appreciate them. In all honestly, I actually forgot what I had to do for about an hour or so because I was so enamoured with the flowers. (side note: I just really like flowers, okay?) Oops. lol.

Likewise, I had another really busy day planned yesterday. I wasn't going to leave the house for more than maybe half an hour or so but it was all overwhelming busywork that I decide to get done in a single day. Thankfully a seminarian friend who I hadn't seen in a while dropped by and it forced me to rearrange to-do list for the day. Sure, I got the apartment cleaned as planned but everything else that could be done another day (read: not important) was pushed back. To Amazon, James, and Andrew: thank you all for unintentionally forcing me to slow my roll for at least two days. lol. Don't you love it when God does that?

I'm glad that I was forced to see what I was unintentionally doing to myself: cramming things that could be done over weeks into a couple of days and neglecting to take better care of myself. Oh! and taking on too much for Lent. I'm going to simplify my Lenten goals a bit. I know which ones I really do need to work on (i.e. using less social media) and which I can work on after Lent.

I'm going to try to remind myself that I had a good routine going before I decided to busy myself again. I cannot afford to not get back into that routine, especially when I specifically set this time to take care of myself before I head back to grad school. I'm going to continue to read books, relax, eat well, sleep well, and simply take care of myself. It seems like a lot because I wrote it out as a list but isn't. It's just basic things to help me (and, really, any/all human beings) function.

I just wanted to write this because I'm sure this is part of my Lenten journey this year. It certainly feels like it. :)

Alright, it's actually almost 11:30 p.m. the day before this is scheduled to be posted and I want to get my nighttime prayers in before I zonk out. I've been so physically tired lately that I know I'm going to need at least 8 hours of sleep tonight. No, I'm not going to feel guilty if I sleep in a bit; it's a necessity, especially after the 5-6 hour sleep days I've had most week.

I hope y'all have a good weekend! Don't forget to enter the Magnificat Lenten Companion giveaway. It ends tomorrow at noon EST. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D