Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Disney, Belle, St. Therese, and Being Childlike.

Yes, I was in the Beast's library on Monday... and yes, I took this picture so if you take it, please give me credit.

I know, I know... I broke the chain. I didn't post yesterday because 1) I decided to clean the house and it took a good chunk of my day and 2) I had a combo anxiety/fatigue day that kept me from doing much. I spent most of the evening/night feeling like I couldn't breathe. THIS is why I like being busy; I am less likely to have anxiety when my mind is occupied with something. Anyway, that's in the past and I still want to write my Disney inspired post... ;)

For the record, no one guessed what the video had to do with today's post. I got responses on the Facebook page and as well as on twitter but no one was able to guess it. Some responses were good... and definitely made me think, but no cigar. Let's talk a little about Beauty and the Beast and one of my heavenly buddies, St. Therese of Lisieux.

Beauty and the Beast has been my favorite Disney animated film since I first watched it. In fact, I was such a fan when it first came out that I dressed up as Belle for Halloween that year. I have always been able to identify with Belle -- she's a bookworm, kind of feisty and independent, being a bit of a loner, wanting to get out of her hometown, willing to sacrifice for her family, etc. When I found out that there was an attraction in California Adventure, which was done to look like the Beast's massive library (my dream library), I knew I had to go in. Inside it looks like a miniature version of the library. You sit in front of one of the many books spread out inside the library and you take a quiz which tells you which Disney character you are most like. Without cheating, I took the quiz and got Belle. I was absolutely giddy... and then it hit me that this was one of the reasons why I like going to Disneyland and California Adventure.

If you've read enough of my blog posts you know that I didn't really have much of a childhood. I've always been an old soul trapped in a young body. Just look at the kind of music, films and clothing that I prefer (from the 1940s into the early 1950s) and that pretty much tells you. My mom likes to tell me stories of how I was as a little girl and I was very precocious. Having helped take care of my dad and having to act grown up from a very young age have made me not have a typical childhood... though I am totally not complaining. I loved the way I grew up, though it was occasionally a lonely one since I grew up with only my parents.

Because I grew up by myself, I had to entertain myself. I drew a lot. I got a library card as soon as I could pick out my own books (which I still have and use to this day). I wrote. A LOT. My best friend growing up, Rudy, gave me notebooks and pens for my birthday up until we was 18 years old and he moved away. He said he always saw me writing and knew how fast I went through notebook so it was the ideal birthday present. He's actually the person who knew I was meant to be a writer before I ever thought about it. My need of entertainment, as well as my constant literary companions, helped nourish my creativity. In this sense, I haven't grown up. When I get into my little literary world, I feel like Peter Pan... only a female version of Peter Pan. I can escape into the world I create and live vicariously through my characters. Of course, I know that it's not real and I don't bring it out into my personal life but I do enjoy feeling like a kid every time I write... and go to Disneyland.

St. Therese of Lisieux inspired me to be childlike (but not a childish) when I look at things, especially when it comes to my faith. (And a quick side note: St. Therese was French like Belle. See? I can connect these things. ;D) I briefly mentioned this in a blog post a few years ago but as I've gotten older, my views have changed. Of course, I still try to talk to God (my favorite place is in front of the Tabernacle when there isn't Adoration) and I am constantly in awe and wonder when I learn something new about my Faith. Whenever I go to new parishes or places that are connected to the Catholic Church (i.e. the California Missions), I feel like a kid in a candy store. That doesn't mean that I am going to pout, rant, and demand that all my prayers be answered like I did when I was younger. I know that we can ask God for something but if it's not His will, He will give me what I need. My earthly dad may no longer be with me but my Father still is and I have no problem going to Him whenever I need a dad in my life... and that is what I was thinking about while I was at Disneyland. I'm serious.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this with y'all. :D Again, sorry I didn't write it yesterday but I wasn't feeling well (I was so weak and fatigued that I thought I was going to collapse on the floor while I was cleaning the living room.) Since I broke the chain yesterday it looks like I'm starting the "every day for a week" posting until I actually go through with it. I hope y'all don't mind. ;)

I should try to finish cleaning my room before the evening Mass today; I slept in this morning because my anxiety kept me up late last night. Oh, and I'm feeling better today so please don't worry. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!

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