Saturday, November 26, 2011

Proud to be a Prude

Yes, you read the title correctly -- I am proud to be a prude! I do not get offended when being called one for various reasons but first I will tell y'all what prompted me to blog about this.

Two weekends ago I went to watch the latest Twilight movie. Okay, I'll give you a couple of seconds to voice your opinion of this. Go ahead. Out of our system? Okay, I'll give you two more seconds. Done? Okay, so, I should first say that I went because a) mom's a big Peter Facinelli fan and b) I was curious to see how it compared to the book. I read the entire series two years ago so the curiosity got the best of me. I also wanted to be able to contribute to the whole debate on whether Breaking Dawn was pro-life or "anti-life" and I can't do that if I didn't have proof to back it up. Since I had read the books, I knew there were parts I would not be entirely psyched to see. Watching the sex scenes with your mom is awkward enough but I actually looked away during those parts because I had an idea of how they would play out. It's not the first time I've done this.

I will be the first to admit that I will look away during these scenes. My friends who have gone to the movies with me will attest to this. One of my guy friends even (jokingly) puts his hands over my eyes when any PDA is shown on the screen. I'm okay with the kissing as long as it doesn't go too far but as soon as clothes start coming off and/or we see things going that way, I look away. It's something that I've done since I was little (my parents would change the channel or ask me to cover my eyes) and it's something that I've continued to do even though I am 26 years-old. I just feel that it's something that I can do without seeing.

I know that I have an active imagination (which can be a blessing or a curse) and a good memory and I also know that things I can't un-see will undoubtedly replay in my head a couple of times before it moves on to something else. To avoid any sinning in the future, I've opted to use this (looking away) as a way to make sure that I don't have anything extra to confess. Also, I know it's fiction but it feels like an invasion of privacy to watch two characters in an intimate act. To be completely honest, I know I am too innocent when it comes to these things and I'd love to keep that about myself for as long as I possibly can.

I've been called a prude by a professor (to my face, in front of the entire class) before. Of course, she "excused" herself about talking about pornography (quite explicitly) to the "prude" in class which would've embarrassed me if I weren't proud to be one. I have no problem with sex within a marriage, the purpose of sex (which is for procreation) or anything like that but I do feel like when it's shown for "entertainment" purposes that it's unnecessary. Theology of the Body? Awesome. Having sex scenes to make a movie or book more interesting? Lame. Seriously? If you can't make anything without having sex in it to keep the audience's attention then it probably isn't that good to begin with and thus not worth my time. Now, if you enjoy this well... to each their own. Personally, I just don't see the purpose of having it to make things "more interesting." As I said, I think it would be easier to sin by having lustful thoughts after watching such things but maybe that's just me.

So, for those of you who have recently called me a prude for "not acting like an adult" by refusing to watch sex scenes -- THANK YOU! I will proudly take that as a compliment. I would've gone deeper into this subject but I have two finals to complete tonight, as well as a trip to a local parish for confession in an hour, so it'll have to wait in case this topic ever comes back again... which it might considering a recent article about how the problem of pornography has gotten worse amongst Catholic men. Considering that I have an update on my music purge coming up for Monday (which will be scheduled since I will not be home) I might touch on this subject again.

Anyway, I have to go examine my conscience and then drive to the parish before I can start my finals so I should stop writing. :)

I hope y'all have a great start of Advent. I might have something written for tomorrow but I am not 100% sure. If I can't complete one of my finals tonight, I might have to spend tomorrow finishing it and will therefore not have time to blog. Either way, have a good Sunday and hope the new translation doesn't trip y'all too badly. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D


Cam said...

If you're a prude then I definitely am! I'm married with kids and I still avert my eyes during those type of scenes. I think they actually make me more uncomfortable as time goes on!

Your take on "if it isn't that good without that sort of thing, it's probably not all that good at all" (to paraphrase) seems pretty accurate and reminds me of something a professor said when I was in college about profanity. He said he was always disappointed when a writer used profanity to express himself because it just showed he wasn't smart enough or creative enough to get the point across without resorting to that sort of language. I think that's kind of the same thing with sex scenes in films, tv and books...

Mandi @ Catholic Newlywed said...

I don't like to watch sex scenes either, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I usually do look away - even though I am a married woman and obviously I do have some sexual experience myself. I know it's silly, but I feel that is an invasion of someone else's privacy also - even though it's just fictional characters.

Sandy said...

Oh, my. Bless you. Several years ago I started covering my eyes when people kiss on screen. I don't know why I started doing this; I haven't always. It just seemed to me at some point to be too personal. It was a moment meant to be shared by those two people alone, not for any interested party who happened to pass by. I know it's TV, I know it's meant to be watched...but perhaps it shouldn't be. At least that's how I feel most of the time. My kids always find this funny, that I hide my eyes, but they also get the point.

Stacy said...

My fiance and I just recently agreed to begin doing this. We agreed that our view is that our bodies are only to be viewed by each other once we are married, and we should hold actors and actresses to that same standard. Their bodies should only be viewed by their spouse, so we will choose to look away from scenes where they are scantily clad or not clothed. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way! It's not that it makes me uncomfortable (sadly I'm very used to it), but I simply don't feel it's right or appropriate for me to view.

Alex said...

Hi its great to know there are other people just like me. I had a bit of a dilema when I started to think about it because I also believe everyone should be able to do what they want in life. And if they want to do that sort of thing then - ok - I just dont want to see it. Its a shame too because I think a lot of this content doesn't really add to the movie/tv and actually loses audience - (because I for one actively avoid watching these things). We all have our own opinions and I'd love to live in a world where the human body wasn't exploited for money. I'd be first in line to enter that type of society. In fact I was so bothered about this, and thinking it was only me that had these feelings, that I decided to write a book about a future where there were seperate societies - where everyone found a place they could feel comfortable in. One of these socieites is based on privacy, modesty and decency (the one I want to live in) - the book is called 'Wake Me In The Future' - Sadly, if the greed that fuels our societies is anything to go by, its a future we won't live to see.
Yours (proud to be a prude) Alex

MonicasDaughter said...

Very late to this conversation. But just wanted to agree here. I have been looking away and avoiding this types of movies every since I began shielding and protecting my kids from them when they were little. The concept of things for children and things for adults stopped making sense to me when I became a Catholic. If it's not ok for the kids why is it ok for me? Custody of the eyes means avoiding shameful or scandalous people or images or words.

Just ask yourself this: if you were at another couples' house and they began getting intimate, would you stick around to watch? I mean really! Why is it ok to watch two people doing this on screen? And why would it being "simulated" make a difference? And what does simulated actually mean? They not really kissing, or whatever else? Everything except "the" one thing is "pretend". Anyone here who is married knows how much is involved prior to the act and knows that any two people doing that are not pretending to the extent that the actors would like the audience to believe.

It's voyeurism and exhibitionism plain and simple. And wrong without a doubt.