Sunday, January 22, 2017
Am I Officially a Mass Snob?
When we went to confession (prior to Mass), I just wanted to stay close to the statue and icons of Mama Mary. I can't explain it; I just felt like I wanted to be close to that little area of the church. In a way, I knew it meant that I wanted to be close to Mama Mary and, thus, be close to her son. Since we had a while before Mass, I spent half an hour in the adoration chapel at the church. I prayed and I teared up because I missed going to confession and Mass. After weeks of lightheadedness, dizziness, aches, pains, heart palpitations, stomach issues, and fear of not being able to drive safely, I was able to go to Mass. I was happy... and then Mass began.
I should start off by saying that Mass is wonderful. I love Mass and felt so blessed to have had the opportunity to attend. We knew it would rain all day today (side note: I can hear the rain beating against our roof as I type this) so we agreed to attend the Saturday Vigil Mass to avoid the rain. We chose a local parish because the local FSSP priests don't offer Saturday Vigil Mass due to their lack of parish. (second side note: they current share a parish and are accepting donations to build their own so they can offer more Masses). Though I've attended mostly Ordinary Form Masses all my life, I was surprised at what a shock it was to return to them after attending only Latin Mass for a couple of weeks before my horrible no Mass streak.
The acoustic-electric guitar made me cringe. The random version of the Gloria which I had never heard before made me feel uncomfortable. The hymns... "No," I said to myself. "I'm going to be thankful for the musician's gift of music and his sharing of his gift to people." I tried to be charitable. A woman behind us answered her cell phone during Mass and said something along the lines of "I can't talk; I'm at church right now..." She also talked at least once more during Mass. I tried to push any uncharitable thoughts and tried to focus on Mass. "I'm here... I'm grateful." Thankfully, Fr. N's homily was wonderfully thought-provoking so I enjoyed that. When I received the Eucharist, I knelt and teared up again. I was so happy to have received Him after being away for so long.
After Mass, Mom and I talked about our experience. I missed the quietness and, well, reverence of the Latin Mass. I missed people ignoring their cell phones. I missed the choir. I just missed Latin Mass and everything about it. Does this make me a terrible person for preferring the Extraordinary Form of Mass and not feeling terribly happy and comfortable during Ordinary Form Masses; for cringing when they bring out guitars during Mass? Am I officially a Mass snob? All I know is that I know what I prefer and what makes me feel closer to God and that's the Latin Mass.
Anyway, just some random thoughts on this cold and rainy Sunday afternoon. Since we don't keep the apartment warm -- we don't use the furnace, I'm going to walk around the apartment and maybe make myself a cup of tea to warm up a bit.
I hope y'all are having a lovely Sunday!
As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D