Monday, January 26, 2015

Little Steps

Today I drove to the Cathedral in downtown L.A. It may not seem like a big deal to most of you but when you've had anxiety/panic disorder for half of your life, it's a huge deal. It took me quite a while since I don't live near the downtown area (hello for the suburbs!) and I got there using all streets; I have yet to find a legitimate reason to take the freeway.

On the way there, I was a little nervous but I didn't have any crippling anxiety. I had planned my route using Google Maps and I've grown up in L.A. so I don't get lost very easily. With that confidence I drove out to get myself a St. Brigid of Ireland Tiny Saint to hang out with the Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati Tiny Saint that I carry next to my keys. Yes, when I'm motivated, I can achieve things. Did I get it? Yes, along with a couple more for one of my best friends. As I drove back home, I couldn't help feeling proud of myself.

It's so easy to believe the lies that you can't do anything. I've heard it before. "Oh, Emmy can't do this because of her anxiety." "Emmy needs help because..." "Yeah, Emmy can't..." Luckily for me, anytime someone says that I can't do something that I know I'm capable of, I get determination to prove them wrong. Learning how to drive, getting my license, driving to places "far" from my apartment... all of these things are goals that I have proven that I can do despite others underestimating me.

I know a lot of people find this blog because of search terms such as "anxiety and Catholicism." In fact, that was partly why I opened this blog 7 years ago; I wanted to show others that having anxiety was nothing to be ashamed about. Stereotypes be darned. They haven't defined me and they don't define anyone who is going through it.

I hope that posts like this show others going through the same thing (anxiety/panic disorder) that it is possible to overcome these kinds of obstacles. If you were to ask my mom if she ever thought it was possible for me to drive, she would honestly tell you "no." No one believed I would eventually conquer the fear to do it. Just remember that when people say "no" to something important, God often says "yes."

Anyway, just a quick little post I wanted to share 'cause I'm honestly so stinking proud of myself. :D Naysayers say whaaat?! lol.

I hope you all had a great Monday (yes, I know Mondays are a punk butt) and have a great rest of week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

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