What Happened Today

I don't have enough space on Twitter to write this out for everyone who asks me what happened today so here's a blog post explaining why I was so shaken earlier today.

I had reserved Catholicism: a Journey to the Heart of the Faith by Fr. Robert Barron from the library and I had received an email that it was ready for pick up. I was stoked because I've had in on hold for a while. Anyway, I left to go to the library early because I wanted to get some Adoration time in before I had to pick mom up from work. I found a parking spot somewhat close to the entrance and when I was parking my car, I noticed a young man who looked vaguely like Jamie Campbell Bower sitting with his forehead on the steering wheel of his car, looking at me. I even laughed and said to myself "wouldn't it be funny if it was him? This is L.A. after all." The only thing was that he was red in the face (and had red eyes as well) that matched his red car. The way he was looking at me was really creepy and I felt unsafe even before I got out of my car. I thought I was being silly so I grabbed my things and got out of the car.

The guy started saying "excuse me, Miss"... "excuse me!" His voice got louder and louder (and more aggressive) so I decided to ignore him. I started walking towards the library entrance and he started yelling at me with more aggression, honking his horn. I felt like he was behind me halfway to the entrance, ready to either grab me or throw something at me, so I bolted towards the entrance. I was shaking pretty badly and I probably looked as scared as I felt because the librarian kept looking at me. I explained what happened to her and she apologized (even though none of it was her fault). She called one of the male employees who then walked me to the car.

By the time we reached my car, he was gone. However, when I got into my car, I noticed he'd thrown some milky substance onto my windshield... which we still haven't been able to scrap off on some parts of the windshield and hood of the car. It didn't fail to resister that he'd thrown something I'm allergic to (dairy allergy here) and that set off a flood of tears. I kept thinking "what did I do? All I wanted was to grab my book and head to Adoration! I didn't hurt anyone!" That resulted in me sobbing (occasionally pulling over when I was too shaken to drive) all the way to my mom's work.

I'm still pretty shaken (I feel faint, there's knots in my back, and I'm physically still shaking) but I'm okay. I thanked God and my Guardian Angel for their protection when I got home... and, I'll be honest, I don't want to leave the house anytime soon.

I think the reason why I'm so shaken was because of my PTSD. I had one jerk try to force himself on me when I was a freshman (going into sophmore year) and he was a newly graduated senior in high school and that's where my social anxiety came from. I'm super stressed out right now and I pray to God that I not get some bad post-anxiety symptoms because of this episode.

Thank you to all of you who read my Twitter message and asked how I was doing. Thank you to those who prayed for me when they became aware of what happened. Seriously... thank you.