Monday, June 11, 2012
See, this is the first time that I've never had anything to do since I was a child. I went to school (albeit on and off) for 24 years. I took care of my father until he passed away. After he passed away, I took a new role in the family (taking on some of his responsibilities) but now we've got our new routine down pat so no need to try to perfect it. With no jobs prospects (trust me, I'm looking) I find myself feeling both bored and useless.
Sure, I do the whole housewife thing... without being an actual housewife. I cook and clean. I've gotten so good at cleaning the house that it can be done in half an hour or less. I get everything done quickly and early -- chores, errands, etc. Once all of that is done, I have way too much time on my hands and I have absolutely no idea what to do to fill the time.
I read. A lot. I go to the library an average of once a week, twice on a slow week. I've been working on my novel but I try not to do it for hours or else my eyes and head hurt from staring at the screen for so long. I dance around like the massive dork that I am when I'm home alone to get some of my exercise in. I attend Mass in the mornings when I can get my tired tush out of bed on time. I drive my mom to work in the pre-dawn hours and pick her up early in the afternoon. Beyond that, I have nothing to do.
It's strange for me not to have anything to do. To be honest, I feel kind of useless -- to the point where I feel a bit depressed. What can I do? Jobs aren't easy to come by. I love writing and my imaginative mind has been in overdrive the last couple of weeks but that doesn't generate any income. This all just really stinks.
Just wondering, what have some of you (who have been in my shoes) done during this post-grad slump? I mean, sure I can work on my grad school applications (at least one is due before summer is over) but I need to do something productive with my time. What I've been doing to busy myself has not been fulfilling. By the way, no volunteer work suggestions. Trust me, without a job I can't drive too far (no money for gas and L.A. is quite spread out) and any local places that I would normally go to need a once a month volunteer).
Anyone want to help a sister out?