2018: Resolutions and Possible Holy Spirit Mic Drop

Happy New Year and feast of the Most Holy Name of Jesus, everyone! :)

How was everyone's NYE/NYD celebrations? I hope it was grand for you all and that you started off the secular year on a positive note. Goodness knows many of us needed a good start after the crazy year that was 2017.

Do any of you have any resolutions for this year? Last year I didn't make any resolutions and I'm glad I didn't because God clearly had so many things in store for me that were going to rock me out of my little comfort zone. I realized that I had to let go of the things I no longer saw as important. I was challenged to grow up in more ways than one. I also joyfully surrendered will own will and plans to follow His... though that only came at the end of the year. However, this year I decided to make three resolutions/goals for myself.

Before I get into the resolutions, I wanted to share with year this sort of Holy Spirit mic drop moment when the following words came up during a discussion on fear and following God's will: "What if God allowed the Crosses in your life because it was the only way you could get relief from the demands of people who wish to make you do their will and not His?"

Mind. Blown. I hadn't thought about it that way but it makes sense. I needed to be uprooted out of what I was comfortable and felt safe in (academia and a very financially stable career path) in order to realize that I wasn't doing things for the right reasons... nor was I doing what I felt was right.

I've been open and honest about that on this blog. I was doing SLP more for the financial stability than for the love of it or the good that could come of it. I was good at working with children. I had the patience needed to work with them. I can actually still go forward and get my SLPA license if I wished to. But at what cost? The stress really did a number on me. Is it worth it? Not to me; no matter how pressured I may feel to continue.

My resolutions for this year are complementary to what I realized at the end of last year: I need to let go and let God take full control. When I say "full control" I mean full control. It doesn't mean I'm going to be passive and wait for things to fall into my lap but I am going to pursue what I feel called to do with the gifts God has given me.

My first resolution: get to Mass more often. As an answer to my prayers for the past 2 years, I will have my chosen parish community only a couple of minutes away from my house instead of a long drive/commute in a very populated/traffic-heavy area. I will be able to easily get to and from this church without having to worry about distance. Bonus: I already have shortcuts to get there since I'm in that general area quite often (again, since I live so close). I don't know who was happier about that news, my mother or I. I also don't know what made us happier: the fact that we're going to have easier access to daily Latin Mass or that we won't have to cringe when Mass begins to feel like a concert. (Mass snob over here, y'all).

My second resolution: to volunteer more. I already have ideas and places to do said volunteer work so we're good there. Also, I want to give to others. I felt like I was too selfish last year so I want to do what I can for others this year. Perhaps it'll even help me get out of my stressed out headspace as well.

My third resolution: to take better care of myself spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I need to get my eating and sleeping schedule on track but we're starting to get there in these early days of the year. I'm also already working on lowering my anxiety and stress levels by changing my outlook on life in general and how I react to things that stress and upset me. To make sure I'm on the right path in life (especially in both little v and big V vocations), I've reached out to a priest who I trust for spiritual direction.

What does 2018 have in store for me? I'm not sure. I hope it's somewhat similar to how I celebrated the beginning of the year: talking to a good friend (though online since we're on opposite coasts) about doing God's will, taking care of myself by resting in bed (I was drifting in and out of sleep between 9:35 pm and midnight), and not letting the outside noise (the ball drop, the TV, the superstitions) distract my attention from what was important. I remember getting up and consecrating my year to our Blessed Mother (which partially inspired this tweet about the lovely coincidence of it being her feast day at the same time we had a supermoon/full moon since she's the woman with the moon under her feet). Since I'll be celebrating my 33rd birthday (my "Jesus year") this upcoming May, it seems fitting that I focus more on my faith than the outside noise.

Those are my own goals and resolutions. I think (and hope) I'll be able to accomplish them. They may occasionally be challenging but what that is worthwhile isn't occasionally a little hard to achieve? What are some of your resolutions? How can I help you achieve your own goals and resolutions?

I hope you are all having a lovely start to the year! May your 2018 be one of your best years yet!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

New Year, New... Nothing?

Before I begin, let me just wish y'all a feast of the Most Holy Name of Jesus! Who is reciting the Litany of Holy Name of Jesus right after she posts this blog post? This girl! There's a partial indulgence attached it to if you say His name reverently today. You also get a plenary indulgence if you visit a church today (usual conditions apply). Just an FYI if you didn't know.

Happy New Year, everyone!! I know it's January 3rd but it's my first blog post of the year. I purposely waited a couple of days because I wanted to take a break from being online so much at the end of last year. Yesterday was World Introvert Day so I did a lot of reading, sleeping when I could because I've been physically exhausted lately, and just relaxed. Since it's my last week of winter break before classes begin again, I decided to not be lazy but also not do a whole lot of busywork. I'm just going to do what I need to do to prepare for the (hopefully) last Spring semester for this program and then stay as stress-free as possible.

I had (or have, actually) one sole resolution this year and it's to get to Mass as much as I possibly can. This resolution? I actually made it back for the Liturgical New Year. ;) I hope more Mass includes daily Mass and especially Latin Mass when I can make the trip. I've fallen in love with the Latin Mass again and I am constantly looking for excuses to attend one. Sadly, no Mass for my this past Sunday because I had palpitations and horrible (random) anxiety from about 2 a.m. (the time I fell asleep on New Year's Day) until about 7-8 p.m. that night. Blah. :( I might've already "failed" to keep my resolution but as many lovely people reminded me, it wasn't as if I wanted to miss Mass. Not only that, I have (roughly) 51 more weekends to get it right this year.

Besides that resolution, I have nothing. No other plans or resolution. Well, no... that's not entirely true. I do have plans/goals. I plan on doing well for the rest of the program for this degree. I plan on keeping myself healthy and doing what I must to raise my folate, iron, and calcium levels. I plan on working on myself in preparation for both vocations. All these plans? I've had them for a long time so I don't count them as resolutions. I don't like New Year's Day resolutions. As previously stated, I make new liturgical year resolutions because they enhance how I live out my faith during the year but that's about it.

Almost no one keeps the resolutions they make through the end of the year... and then they feel terrible about it. I've seen people use such depressing, negative language when talking about how much they stink for not sticking with their resolutions. I'm definitely guilty of being too hard on myself, which is why I think I refuse to make resolutions. Not only that, a lot of resolutions are... well, well-meaning but usually attached to something that ends up hurting us more.

As Megan so wisely reflected on yesterday's Blessed is She post, some of our resolutions "[cater] to the world’s 'standards,' built on Satan’s deceptions and lies." (side note: I recommend you read her reflection to see what she means and I agree with). I know that if I made the resolution of working mt tush off to get all A's in school it would include the sin of pride because I know that a high GPA would mean graduating with distinction and honors. Who wouldn't like getting special attention on graduation day (though I'm still leaning on skipping the actual ceremony)? I've struggled with academic pride in the past and I know I don't want to go there.

Doing well in school? I plan to do it because I don't want to lose my financial aid which is helping me pay for and finish my degree. The sooner I can finish the degree, the sooner I can get my license and start working to help pay the bills and have my mom retire. Getting healthier? I plan to do it because I've read about birth defects that may arise if my body is low on things such as folate levels. I don't plan on getting married and/or getting pregnant anytime soon but I also know that these things can take a long time to be corrected so I want to start when there's no massive pressure. New year, same old plans. :)

Here is where I put my usual disclaimer that these are my thoughts about what's going to work for me. If you have resolutions and actually go through with them, virtual high five to you, my friend! I personally just can't do it because I know myself well enough to know that it doesn't work for me for a couple of different reasons. :)

Anyway, I still want to be online as little as possible so I'm going to vamoose and go read... after I pray the litany. ;)

I hope y'all are having a lovely start of the year! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

New (Church) Year Resolutions.

Picture of our Advent wreath (prior to the candles) via Instagram. :)

That's right, I make New (Church) Year Resolutions. Sorry to all of you New Year's Eve/Day fans (I am one too) but, for me, the start of the new Liturgical Year is more exciting and thus I make all my resolutions on it.

So, what are my resolutions? Attending Mass daily, thinking through my words and actions before I do them (and thus keeping me out of the confessional longer), spending more time in prayer, etc.

I already sort-of failed one -- attending Mass. But, I did try. Anxiety decided to creep up on me around midnight last night. Still, I was determined to attend Mass so I got dressed up, braved the rain, and drove to one of the nearby parishes. Since we were early, I had time to drive around and look for a parking spot on the street. Then a half hour panic attack began and I was so lightheaded that I had to close my eyes for a couple of minutes. I also felt like I couldn't breathe... and that just set everything else off. When I realized that I probably wouldn't be able to attend Mass without possibly having another anxiety attack, I let it all out (read: cried). When I felt well enough to drive back home, I did. Three hours later, I am still lightheaded and recovering. Yeah. No Mass for me today but I will be watching it online (I don't get EWTN on the telly) so I don't miss it entirely. And I would like to once again thank Julie for reminding me to do the Act of Spiritual Communion since I couldn't physically receive the Eucharist today. I will try Mass tomorrow morning. :)

And, since Advent has begun, I'm also beginning two separate projects. The first, I've already mentioned (What I Learned Wednesday/WILW). In case you're part of the tl;dr crowd: WILW is basically a blog post on Wednesdays on which you tell us what you've learned about the faith that week. It is my goal (for the Year of Faith) to strengthen my knowledge of the faith and I don't want to slack so blogging about it will make me more conscience of my progress... or my slacking. I invite those of you who want to participate to do so. It doesn't have to be long -- a couple of sentences or a paragraph is enough. You can blog or tweet it too. I'll hopefully have a graphic for it by next Wednesday for those who'd like to blog about it. :)

The second project will not be revealed as it has to do with my vocation but let's just say that I'm preparing myself for it (vocation) and this is just part of it. In recent weeks, I've felt like I've finally gotten enough "Okay, Emmy. If these things don't convince you that this is your vocation, you are hopeless" signs/moments that have inspired me to prepare myself for it. No clue about when I will actually move onto the next stage but I know that it'll all be done when God thinks I am ready. :)

I will spare y'all the boring details of why I hadn't blogged until now (really, I was just working and/or writing a novel during NaNoWriMo) but I do apologize for the long periods in between. I hope that this month will slow down some so I will try to be more attentive to this poor little blog. ;)

I hope you all had a great weekend and that you all have a wonderful Advent. Make it count this year. ;) If you are stuck for ideas, check out XT3's Advent Calendar (I use it every year).

I will be praying for all of you, and if you have any special intentions/requests, please don't hesitate to contact me via the FB page or Twitter. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

Happy (Belated) New Year & Resolutions

This is one of my favorite shots from this NYE celebrations in London. I didn't take it (I was, sadly, stuck in L.A.) but I found it on tumblr.

Sorry for the belated New Year post but I have had a nasty cold (possible throat infection) for the past couple of days. I've spent most of my days in bed, resting, but I've finally gotten out and about. It doesn't hurt that it's over 80 degrees in my part of L.A. :)

Though I am sad that I was not able to attend Mass on Christmas (food poisoning) and New Year's Day / feast of Feast of Mary, Mother of God (too weak/fatigued) I did give thanks to God for (despite being ill) having a good day those days. That is actually a resolution I have this year: thank God for every single day. Being sick reminds me of something: most of us only pray when we are in need of something. I'm not saying it's bad to pray when we need something; we should just keep praying, even when things are going well. I think many of us neglect to take time out of our day to pray when everything is going well.

Last year I started keeping track of who needed novenas. I did a couple whenever friends asked me and it was the best feeling. I was doing well but these friends needed prayers so I did novenas for them. As I said a couple of blog posts ago, we see so much mud slinging amongst fellows Catholics (especially on twitter when we don't agree on things) that I decided to make it another resolution: pray for others... especially if they do something against you. A Hail Mary (I almost wrote "Ave Maria" lol) when you're angry at someone helps. A lot.

Of course I have other resolutions: to not over study, to not use the blow dryer (at all, to take more walks and to do some hiking when I can, etc. But the most important are to thank God for each and every day, to pray for others, and to avoid sinning as much as possible and receive the Eucharist daily (when possible). Hmm... maybe I should try getting back into the habit of a daily Rosary and chaplet of the Divine Mercy at 3 p.m. as well. If I don't over study like last semester, it can be possible. :)

Anyway, just a semi-quick post to wish y'all a Happy New Year and to share some of my resolutions. I hope God blesses each and every one of us this year... especially since it seems like most of us had a pretty crummy year last year. Hope y'all are having a great start of year so far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Happy New Year!; Resolutions.

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope everyone had an amazing time ringing in the new year, and that no one partied too hard. I was in my pajama pants, actually. lol. We stayed in (as did quite a number of my friends, surprisingly). The highlight of my night was when my parents decided to make a Miss C.N.W. sandwich out of me. First, my mom hugged... and then dad hugged me while my mom was hugging me, putting me in the middle. I don't think they've ever done that, so it was a lovely way to start the year. :D Oh, and it's been established that I'm the only one in the family who can actually wear the color yellow without looking sick or washed out. lol.

I went to sleep fairly early because I wanted to go to Mass this morning. I stayed up long enough to watch the beginning of the live Mass from the Vatican. How sweet was Pope Benedict XVI walking towards the altar? He would stop every time he saw a child to touch their little heads. Awww. It was so darling. :D I didn't watch the entire Mass because I didn't want to fall asleep at Mass. Unfortunately, I didn't end up making it. I woke up at 4:30 a.m. (only 3 hours of sleep) in pain, which was no picnic. Luckily, since I'd eaten before I went to bed, my stomach wasn't too empty and I was able to take medication (hooray for Advil) within a half hour and thus fall asleep an hour later. I still feel a little bit of pain but it's so much more tolerable than this morning. Don't worry about it, though. It's expected pain and I'm in a very happy, optimistic mood which isn't being spoiled. :D

Oh, and before I continue: I'd like to thank Corey and Liam from the Irish Fireside for the lovely shamrock Christmas ornament they sent me as a "thank you" for a contribution I made to their podcast. It's lovely. I got the package today, along with a note that I've officially been adopted by the Irish. Haha. Rock on! I highly recommend their podcast if you're a fan of Ireland or would like to one day visit Éire. I'm looking forward to meeting them in the very near future. :D

Anyway, since it is the New Year, I have some resolutions. Very simple resolutions. First, to learn to be more patient. I will admit I am not always the most patient person, especially when I have anxiety. I think that once I learn how to control my occasional impatience, it'll make a lot of difference in how I handle things like panic attacks. Second, I will try to exercise as often as I can. I HATE exercising. I am blessed enough to not have to exercise because of weight issues but I definitely think I need some serious exercising so that I will hopefully stop feeling so fatigued and lethargic. That and it will be good for my heart as well. :D Third, I will do my homework or work first and play (get online/watch tv/go out) later. I like to joke with my friend Dave that we're part of a Procrastination club which we will create... tomorrow. I'm a hardcore procrastinator and it's caused some stress this past semester. I wasn't always like this so, I'll have to work on getting back into my old habits of doing homework first and then treating myself to free time. That's about it. Like I said, real simple solutions.

Alright, well, I am going to rest a bit. I'm feeling a little warm and whatnot. To be fair, I'm all covered up and it's been in the 70s today in L.A. (awesome weather!) so... yeah. lol. Hope everyone had a great start to the year. And I REALLY hope that those of you who could go to Mass, actually went. It was a day of obligation!

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D