So Much News! So Many Prayers Answered!

Hey! Long time no see, huh? Honestly, I've been wanting to share a lot of this stuff for at least a week but I needed confirmations and "done deals" before I could say anything.

Do you know how hard it is to keep the good news to yourself? SO difficult, my friends. I did let some people know ahead of time and those closest to me knew what was going on as things happened but I wanted to wait before I publicly talked about this. Intrigued yet? lol.

First, let me say, happy (belated) feast of my beloved Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati. *insert fangirl squeals, confetti, noisemakers, and cake* The reason why I bring him up is that all of this happened either during the annual feast day novena (June 25 - July 3). I do it every year but this year... well, you'll see... ;)

The first big news is that I am officially a contributing writer for Verily Magazine. Do some of you remember how I asked for prayers (via Twitter) about a dream writing opportunity that came up a few weeks ago? It was for Verily. They're restructuring the magazine, adding new content, new writers, etc. and they were looking for new writers. I submitted three possible topics and they accepted two of them!

I don't know if I'll write for them beyond the two articles but it's a good start! This is my dream writing gig because I've been a regular Verily reader since the beginning so I hope it's the start of more work for them.

As much as I love writing for Catholic publications, it's hard to find writing work in this particular field/topic. There are so many great apologists and writers who are more established and, well, better writers than I am, so getting paid for writing gigs in the Catholic world is hard. If it wasn't for my friend (and fellow epicPew writer) Theresa, I wouldn't even have my EP writing gig.

I've been praying for more writing work because, as y'all know, Mom and I have been in a financially difficult situation for months. This was one of the two novena intentions I had for this year's Bl. Pier Giorgio novena; more work (because I actually like to work) that I can do with other pending responsibilities and things that keep me at home.

There is something else that also happened but it's something that's going to stay within the family. All I have to say is this is a major on-going thing that we've been praying about and it looks like we've finally gotten answers! Thanks be to God!

So, all of this happened either during or immediately after Bl. PGF's novena so... guess who gets the credit for his intercession. Someone canonize him STAT! lol. Seriously, though, I know he -- and Mama Mary and so many other saints -- interceded for me. I'm just giving him credit because of the timing and the novena intentions.

Thank you ALL for your prayers. It wasn't just Bl. PGF and my heavenly pals. It was a collective prayer effort and I'm eternally grateful to all of you who've never ceased praying for me. May this be the light at the end of the tunnel for some major issues and a heavy Cross I've been carrying for quite some time. Cue the tears! lol. All of this has been really difficult for me... so much more than I've been able to express. I know that everyone praying for me has helped lighten the load.

I also know that all of this has been for my own good. I've learned to take better care of myself. I've learned to trust God. It's helped cure me of some of my worst scrupulous ideas. I'm sure some of it has been penance for some dumb things I've done (which I fully get and accept).

That's it for now. I've shared what I can. There may be more news I haven't even hinted about coming up but we shall see what happens. Y'all know by now that I know until I'm absolutely sure before I share anything. lol. ;)

Anyway, I hope you're all having a lovely week thus far and that you have a cool weekend... and I say "cool" in the "not melting" sense because it's going to be a scorcher across the States and many other countries.

As always, thank you for reading and God bless. :D

2018: Resolutions and Possible Holy Spirit Mic Drop

Happy New Year and feast of the Most Holy Name of Jesus, everyone! :)

How was everyone's NYE/NYD celebrations? I hope it was grand for you all and that you started off the secular year on a positive note. Goodness knows many of us needed a good start after the crazy year that was 2017.

Do any of you have any resolutions for this year? Last year I didn't make any resolutions and I'm glad I didn't because God clearly had so many things in store for me that were going to rock me out of my little comfort zone. I realized that I had to let go of the things I no longer saw as important. I was challenged to grow up in more ways than one. I also joyfully surrendered will own will and plans to follow His... though that only came at the end of the year. However, this year I decided to make three resolutions/goals for myself.

Before I get into the resolutions, I wanted to share with year this sort of Holy Spirit mic drop moment when the following words came up during a discussion on fear and following God's will: "What if God allowed the Crosses in your life because it was the only way you could get relief from the demands of people who wish to make you do their will and not His?"

Mind. Blown. I hadn't thought about it that way but it makes sense. I needed to be uprooted out of what I was comfortable and felt safe in (academia and a very financially stable career path) in order to realize that I wasn't doing things for the right reasons... nor was I doing what I felt was right.

I've been open and honest about that on this blog. I was doing SLP more for the financial stability than for the love of it or the good that could come of it. I was good at working with children. I had the patience needed to work with them. I can actually still go forward and get my SLPA license if I wished to. But at what cost? The stress really did a number on me. Is it worth it? Not to me; no matter how pressured I may feel to continue.

My resolutions for this year are complementary to what I realized at the end of last year: I need to let go and let God take full control. When I say "full control" I mean full control. It doesn't mean I'm going to be passive and wait for things to fall into my lap but I am going to pursue what I feel called to do with the gifts God has given me.

My first resolution: get to Mass more often. As an answer to my prayers for the past 2 years, I will have my chosen parish community only a couple of minutes away from my house instead of a long drive/commute in a very populated/traffic-heavy area. I will be able to easily get to and from this church without having to worry about distance. Bonus: I already have shortcuts to get there since I'm in that general area quite often (again, since I live so close). I don't know who was happier about that news, my mother or I. I also don't know what made us happier: the fact that we're going to have easier access to daily Latin Mass or that we won't have to cringe when Mass begins to feel like a concert. (Mass snob over here, y'all).

My second resolution: to volunteer more. I already have ideas and places to do said volunteer work so we're good there. Also, I want to give to others. I felt like I was too selfish last year so I want to do what I can for others this year. Perhaps it'll even help me get out of my stressed out headspace as well.

My third resolution: to take better care of myself spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I need to get my eating and sleeping schedule on track but we're starting to get there in these early days of the year. I'm also already working on lowering my anxiety and stress levels by changing my outlook on life in general and how I react to things that stress and upset me. To make sure I'm on the right path in life (especially in both little v and big V vocations), I've reached out to a priest who I trust for spiritual direction.

What does 2018 have in store for me? I'm not sure. I hope it's somewhat similar to how I celebrated the beginning of the year: talking to a good friend (though online since we're on opposite coasts) about doing God's will, taking care of myself by resting in bed (I was drifting in and out of sleep between 9:35 pm and midnight), and not letting the outside noise (the ball drop, the TV, the superstitions) distract my attention from what was important. I remember getting up and consecrating my year to our Blessed Mother (which partially inspired this tweet about the lovely coincidence of it being her feast day at the same time we had a supermoon/full moon since she's the woman with the moon under her feet). Since I'll be celebrating my 33rd birthday (my "Jesus year") this upcoming May, it seems fitting that I focus more on my faith than the outside noise.

Those are my own goals and resolutions. I think (and hope) I'll be able to accomplish them. They may occasionally be challenging but what that is worthwhile isn't occasionally a little hard to achieve? What are some of your resolutions? How can I help you achieve your own goals and resolutions?

I hope you are all having a lovely start to the year! May your 2018 be one of your best years yet!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

I Hate This... But I'll Do it For You, God.

Have you ever hated doing something so much but you knew/felt like it was God's will for you so you just pushed through it, tears and all? That's where I am right now.

I seem to have an emotional breakdown every 2-3 weeks while I'm studying. I get tired of working hard and not have it go well. It's usually due to lack of concentration and mental fog... or lack to time to study properly. There is one class that usually brings out the tears: the notorious (and universally despised amongst my coursemates) second hardest course of the program.

Wait, second hardest?! you may be asking. Yes, this isn't even the hardest course. That one is waiting for me next semester. Send paper bags to Melissa Cecilia at... lol.

I would be lying if I said that I wish I could quit. I mean, I can quit -- no one is forcing me to stay in this program -- but I've chosen not to quit because this seems to be what God has in store for me. Every time I feel like I won't pass an exam... like I didn't have enough time... like I don't have it in me to continue, God shows me otherwise.

I miraculously passed both of my exams this past weekend. For Saturday's class, I literally only had that day to study because of some circumstances beyond my control (I ended up in the emergency room for crazy palpitations which I had for three days in a row last week) and I had my highest exam grade of the semester. I knew Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati (whose picture I keep on my desk) interceded for me because I had zero confidence going into the exam.

I'm sure I will want to quit again before the semester is over and/or before graduation, if I make it through this and next semester. This program has really tested me in many ways... but I think that's why God wants me to keep going. Even if I end up doing something else after graduation, pushing through my self-doubt, beyond my comfort level, and willingly pushing myself through all of this while dealing with a number of other things is doing me a lot of good.

For one thing, this is helping me practice trusting God more. It's far easier to say that you trust God than to actually do it, especially when things look bleak. I keep reminding myself, "if this is what God wants from me, He will make sure I can accomplish what needs to be done to keep going forward." As I've said, He's shown me (more than once) that this is the path He wants me to take so I do it. I may take a couple of minutes to cry and complain about how much I hate this program but, once it's out of my system, I wipe away the tears and continue watching the lecture videos or doing the assignment that has caused the latest round of frustration.

For another thing, God is showing me that I'm much stronger than I think I am... but it's all done with His help. I know I haven't been able to overcome some of the more depressing and frustrating moments of the semester without His help. I can't do anything worth doing without His help. I know He gives me the fortitude and the graces to continue. Do I deserve them? I may not think so but He gives them to me anyway (yes, I know it's because He loves me) and for that I am grateful.

You know, I feel very spoiled in the area of hardships. I've been a very fortunate gal who hasn't had the hardships others have had. Yes, I've experienced a lot of things that I'm not sharing, but either my optimistic nature has made me focus on the silver linings of these situations and that's diminished the severity of them or I truly haven't been tested like others have. Either way, I feel like this is really testing me in ways I haven't known before and it's helping to shape me into a (God willing) better version of myself. I feel like this is preparing better for my vocations (career and the big-V vocation) which is always a blessing.

Has anyone ever been through something similar? Finding yourself in an overwhelming situation that you could potentially get yourself out of but choosing to see it through because you knew/felt like it was God's will for you to continue until the end? How did you persevere?

Those are my thoughts for now. I have a chance to do lecture videos and do an exam for a course a week early so I'm going to try to do that... as soon as I catch up on the days worth of emails that have accumulated in my inbox. I'm behind on emails, NaNoWriMo (yes, I'm participating; no, it's not something a sane person would do), and a couple of things that have been neglected in the past couple of days in favor of studying for exams.

I hope y'all had a great weekend and have been having a great week thus far.

If you're doing the 54-day Rosary novena along with us, let me know how it's going thus far. My apologies for the inability to tag y'all in the FB page; apparently Facebook changed some things since last year and I'm unable to tag most of you, unlike last year. Keep going! We're already a week into it. ;)

That's it for now. As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D