Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Big, Big News!

Where to start with my news...? There's only two big things I'm sharing.

First, sorry for the wait between blog posts. I crammed for a math placement test that I needed to take in order to register for my Fall session courses. I spent Thursday through Monday morning cramming for it because I haven't taken a math class since Fall of 2011. I actually took a harder exam first but it was too hard for me since most questions seem to have been Trig questions... which I never studied that. No, I did not pass it but, considering that it was based on stuff I never studied, I am proud of that 30% I ended up scoring. lol. I took the second (easier) exam about 2.5 hours later and I ended up testing into Statistics, which is the math course I need for both grad school and my SLP certification. St. Joseph of Cupertino's intercession FTW because I stink at math. It's quite tragic. lol. I am now registered for Stats (as well as the others needed for second Bachelor's) as of last night and that's it until I start classes next month. Sort of free time until then.

Why did I say "sort of free time"? Because I may or may not be publishing the eBook version of my first novel on May 2nd and I need to prepare for it. It's not a big deal or anything (... teehee...) and I just want to prepare for it and make sure that everything is set for the big day. Like I said, so not a big deal or anything. I considered shopping it around but saw how hectic my life is about to get with school and I didn't have the time so eBook via Amazon for now. There is a chance it'll also be done in print but I need to work that out with the person who offered so no news on that just yet. :)

And those are my two big pieces of news... for now. lol. I get asked "when is the novel getting published" so often that I had to set a date and stick to it... and now y'all have it. ;) Thanks to everyone who bugged me about it; you finally wore me down. ;)

I should go do something productive now. Maybe I'll read the novel to make everything makes sense. Yes, I shall do that. :D

I hope y'all are having a good week thus far. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Friday, April 11, 2014

Lack of Blogging Due to Apathy and Fatigue

Yes, the blog post title pretty much tells you why I haven't blogged in almost a week and a half. I didn't plan it out that way (in fact, I have two blog posts waiting in the wings that I haven't gotten a chance to post) but... I'll explain what happened.

I felt a bit sick last Friday (the day I had planned the next blog post) and I was overwhelmed with school stuff so I took the weekend off to rest. I said to myself "the latest What I Learned Wednesday blog post is pretty solid so no big deal." And then Sunday came along, I missed Mass (anxiety was too crazy for me to drive... and I'm the only one who drives in this house) and I just didn't want to write. Come Monday, I started feeling incredibly apathetic (and fatigued) about everything... prayers, checking things off of my Lenten "to-do" list, etc. I have two theories, which I will share with you because I need to get this out and writing is my outlet.

Theory one: I found out recently that ASHA (American Speech-Language-Hearing Association) got strict with the grad school/certification requirements for future Speech-Language pathologists, which means I have to take three additional classes making my four-class semesters into five-class semesters. The three additional classes: Statistics, Chemistry, and Biology/Anatomy. I'd already been told that the program was intense... and it just got more intense. To top it off, since I graduated with my first B.A. two years ago, I have to take a math placement exam on Monday to hopefully test into Stats. Unfortunately, I took my last math class three years ago so this entire weekend will be spent cramming. I seem to have forgotten almost everything so I'll be doing a boatload of problems to study. My theory is that because of all of this stress (which started about Thursday evening) I've been in "shut down" mode; that means I don't feel like doing anything so I don't. If I feel forced to do something my anxiety gets worse... and I shut down.
And, please, no one say "you just need to trust God" because I am trusting Him and I'm sure that everything will be okay but with my school anxiety the stress still exists. I have to get used to the new plans is all. A "trust in Him" reminder is going on my desk for when I feel really stressed out so, I'm good. No need to say it to me. :)

Theory two: I was doing so well during Lent -- reading the St. Therese book, daily Gospel readings, being on top of my prayers throughout the day, going a while without the need for confession (a personal best for me), doing novenas, etc. -- and then... apathy and fatigue. Again this all hit last Thursday night so Theory One works out... except that it shouldn't have affected my prayer life as bad. Last time I was this stressed out about something, I prayed harder and I wasn't so "ugh, don't want this" about my prayer life. My theory is that someone's not happy that I've had (up until late last week) a very fruitful Lenten season... and I'll give you one guess who that someone is. I've tried really, really hard to keep praying but either I don't get up early enough to do morning prayers (I haven't been able to sleep for days and I wake up almost at noon most days) or I can't concentrate on my prayers and meditations because I'm so mentally (and physically) exhausted. The sudden feeling of overwhelming apathy is a pain and something I haven't felt in years. It's pretty bad but I'm trying. Again, it may just be a form of spiritual attack. I don't know. I just hope I can go to confession tomorrow and to Mass because I haven't been to either in 3 weeks tomorrow. Prayers please?

Anyway, that's why I haven't blogged in days. I was originally just going to stop blogging daily because I felt like the quality of blog posts during Lent was going downhill. It was hard trying to come up with something to write about when I had so many other things to do during the day. Like I said, I did/do have blog post topics listed but haven't had a chance to write them out. I totally had to force myself to write this too because I'm done with letting the apathy win. I didn't want to write (and still) but I'm doing my best.

For the record, if you're wondering, I have caught up with my prayers and my St. Therese book. I was only a few days behind (last Saturday through yesterday) on the book. I'm going to keep at it even though I don't feel like it. I'm trying. It's hard but I'm trying.

And that is it for now. I have to go study math. *groan* Wish me luck... or say a prayer to St. Joseph of Cupertino (patron of exam takers), St. Hubert of Liege (patron of mathematicians), St. Thomas Aquinas (patron of students) or Bl. Pier Giorgio (personal patron for school related things) for me if you can spare one.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

What I Learned Wednesday #30: I Thought Today Was Thursday Edition

In case you missed it, the guest post I wrote for The Mirror Magazine is now up for y'all to read. If you've ever wondered why I decided to switch careers from freelance writer to speech-language pathologist, definitely read it. If you're wondering "well, what about your Masters in Theology from Franciscan?" It's still in the cards, down the road. As I've said before, my spiritual director made a joke that I don't look old enough to teach Theology (I still look like a teenager) so I'll just do SLP for now. lol.

Lesson learned: It's okay to change careers. It might not be my ideal career but God has better plans for me and I will just have to trust Him.

I was watching the documentary Jazz by Ken Burns (which I am not finished with yet) and learned that a (now) monsignor used to play with Duke Ellington, who was himself Catholic. Msgr. John Sanders has a very fascinating story about how his vocation and how he came to it. I haven't had a chance to do more research on his life story but I found an old L.A. Times article online that covers the basics. Read it; it's so good! Anyone have more info on him? Anyone know where he is now? As someone who is a big fan of jazz (and who almost majored in it; I even filled out an application to USC's program before my reversion), I love it when the world of jazz and Catholicism collide.

Lesson learned: Even in the grittiest of circumstances (and life of jazz musicians was (is?) incredibly hard with many temptations), God finds a way to reveal your vocation. Also, sometimes you don't get to begin your vocation until you're over 30. That gives me hope. lol.

I saw a link to a post Fr. Z wrote on his blog about how people (who are in need of prayers) are actually talking about how they're waiting for Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI to die. What?! I'm a big Papa Bene fangirl so... this does not compute. I dislike that they've nicknamed him "The Rat"... which is actually something my super liberal former professor (who's a nun) used to call him; "a big Rat with red shoes." I still have the dates on which she called him that; I kept a record of everything. Everything. Anyway, as Fr. Z suggested, please pray for these men and those who have similar trains of thought.

Lesson learned: I don't know if I learned a lesson here but I did learn I need to pray for two more people (who I don't know). I seriously cannot imagine disliking someone so much I want them to die. I can't even imagine disliking someone enough to wish them ill. That's just... yikes. Also, pray for Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI. He may not be our active Pope but he still needs prayers. :)

And that's all for this week. I hope y'all are having a good week thus far... and aren't as scatterbrained as I am. I seriously thought today was Thursday for some reason so I had to rename this blog post. Oops. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Coming Soon...

This is NOT an April Fool's Day post. I don't like the day (in fact, I loathe it) nor do I celebrate it so no shenanigans from me.

Anyway, coming soon...

- Explanation as to why I decided to no longer blog daily during Lent.

- What I Learned Wednesday... on a Thursday (tomorrow's post).

- Updates on a couple of things I've had pending (to share).

I'm not posting anything today because it's April Fool's Day and I know some of y'all won't believe anything I post (including today's post... sigh). I really want to write a couple of things but I don't want them to be taken as jokes so I'm waiting to resume blogging until tomorrow.

This is just a heads up.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

What I Learned Wednesday #29: Prayer, Saints, and Love

This has been the most fruitful week of Lent for me... and you will see why.

1) If you've been wondering if my prayer life has gotten better, the answer is "yes"... and "no." I am back on track with both my morning and nighttime prayers, and I'm finding more time to pray for others and not just my own selfish intentions... but I still have a lot of work to do. I have not yet gotten into doing Lectio Divina because I've been either working on the first novel (so many adverbs!) or because I've been trying to cross things off of my "to-do" list. The novenas I've been doing lately are helping me stay more focused on praying though. The St. Padre Pio (yes, I know it's St. Pio but I like using Padre Pio) novena begins today... and I am thinking about starting one to St. Therese as she's been on my mind and heart lately. I hope both will help me make prayer a bigger priority in my life.

2) I've use A Lenten Journey with Jesus Christ and St. Therese of Lisieux by Fr. John F. Russell, O. Carm. book for the past couple of Lents because it packs a lot of punch in just two pages every day. I sent a copy to a good friend who has a newborn because I feel like it's the perfect amount of reading for busy people... yet it doesn't skimp on the message. I feel like I always learn a lot from St. Therese during Lent. She's been my heavenly buddy for years but it's during Lent that she really opens my eyes and my heart to the Lord. I am not sure why this is but I love it. I have been considering doing a new novena to her because I feel like I need one of her roses with an on-going situation. I just need some guidance and she's never let me down before. The last time I asked her for a rose, I got one... on her feast day. :)

3) I know I rarely touch on the topic but I will this one time. I've learned from my Spiritual Director that I'm single because I've chosen it without even thinking about it. See, I've unconsciously closed myself off to possibilities because I've had a fear of not finding the right guy... and thus not trusting God enough in taking care of me in this part of my life and vocation. I didn't even think that the problem was with me until Fr. G made me realize it right before Lent began. After that, and after being asked for advice by others, everything changed for me. The past couple of days have been extra eye opening for me because I feel as though the Holy Spirit has been using those close to me to make me aware of my thoughts and my feelings regarding the subject. It's been very fruitful. And that's all I'm going to say about that. lol.

And these are the three big topics that have been on my mind lately. Gotta love how Lent makes you confront certain hard topics head on. No, really... I actually love it. :D

Anyway, I hope y'all are having a great week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!