When and Why Do YOU Pray?; Patron Saint of this Blog

While one of my very best friends searches this blog for clues as to where I might have my Christmas wish list hidden... (I am not telling you! :D), I decided to update the blog. Whoo-hoo! :D

You know, I woke up feeling fatigued and just gross, and it got me thinking "Oh no, I hope I am not getting another cold, or flu, because I can't afford to be sick... especially during the last weeks of school." Then I was thinking about how I have amazing friends who have been praying for me and my anxiety (which has lessened SO MUCH in the past two days). That led to questioning myself... "When do YOU actually pray?" I haven't been praying as often as I probably should. I have been super busy with school (10 page History research paper AND the entire "Paradise Lost" for English Lit, anyone?) but that shouldn't be an excuse. While I was making breakfast this morning, I remembered this question on some quiz that I took ages ago. It asked when you prayed or how religious are you? One of the options was "Whenever I'm sick/there's a natural disaster." That made me realize that some of us *points to self* are occasionally selfish with their prayers. I will admit that I tend to do more praying when I am sick... and it should be the other way around. I do pray that I find the strength to get over whatever illness I have... but I do also pray for others when I can.

About a week and a half ago, our next door neighbors were arguing at full volume... at 1 in the morning. I was upset because I had to wake up early that morning, but that changed to feeling bad that they were fighting. So, I started to pray to God to help them resolve whatever it was they were fighting about... and it stopped pretty soon after. I have to admit, that prayer was both selfish and unselfish at the same time. If it had happened in the day, it would've been more unselfish. The point of this example is that... just like I prayed during that time when it was needed, a lot of us do the same thing. Maybe not the same situation, but same concept.

I am often in awe of my little (adoptive) sister who often asks "How can I be praying for you?" She might be going through some really difficult situations but she always manages to finds time to pray for others. I think we should all try to be a little more like that. Even if we're all doing very well, and so are all of our friends and family, there's always something to pray for... or to pray to say thanks. Don't just pray while there's a crisis, or when you're in need of the Lord (which is when the majority of us do it -- come on, admit it)... pray just to thank Him for everything He's provided for you.

I am going to set a specific time every day to thank God for my amazing parents, family, and friends. I will also thank all the saints who have interceded for me over the years -- whether I asked for their intercession, or others did. I will feel much better doing this, than just praying when I need to.

Moving... I actually want to do something kind of fun with the readers of my blog. I want everyone (who wants to participate) to pick the patron saint of this blog. I will be putting up a poll on the left where you can vote for whom you'd like to see as the patron saint of this blog. I will have the poll open (hopefully) until the end of this month so we can have a patron saint next month (which will also be the 1 year anniversary of this blog. :D). So, go ahead and vote! You can vote for as many as you'd like. And if you know of others that read this blog, please let them know about it! :D

Alright, well, I should probably get to work on my massive amounts of homework. I won't complain because there's no reason to, really. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
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Anxiety Strikes Again; Easiest Way to Get Me Peeved: Insult God.

And the anxiety strikes again. Grr! I had to leave my English Literature class early today -- only making it through less than half the class -- because of my anxiety. One of these days I will say it's no longer an issue but for now, it stinks. After months of being pretty good and not having major anxiety, it's struck in a big way.

The worst anxiety attacks I've had have happened last Saturday (not this past Saturday), last Wednesday, and last night. As I mentioned in the previous post, I thought they would have to take me to the hospital twice but I knew it was anxiety so I tried my hardest to stick it out. Last night was the second worst attack I've had in a long time. It started earlier in the day (it was a complete miracle I made it through the Mass) but got bad at night. It lasted a good 2 hours or so before I was calm enough to even think about sleeping. My poor mom stayed up with me until nearly midnight and then dad woke up to take over until I was alright. I'll tell you, all of this sucks. (Pardon my language!)

One of the good things about the anxiety is that, since I've already lived through enough panic attacks to know when it's anxiety, I don't wig out as much as I used to... thus allowing me to calm down even sooner. I think it got worse last night because I remembered all the work I am behind on (mainly: my History of World Religions class) and that didn't help much.

I had a St. Dymphna prayer/holy card on my desk in English class today, but I think since I was offended a bit during class, that didn't help my anxiety at all.

See, today we sat around in a circle and read John Milton's "Paradise Lost". Now, that alone, with the little anxiety I had before class, made me nervous. We take turns reading and, uh, I am not the best reader when it comes to reading out loud. To myself, I'm a quick reader but I hate public speaking. Anyway, I was okay with it, I can usually handle that... until someone in class called God a... well, let's just say it's one of the worst things someone can call God. I immediately went "WHOA" and said it loud, in the person's direction. He tried to explain himself, and I understood what he was trying to say, but the fact that he called God that specific word really ticked me off. Our professor tried to bring things back into perspective and say things the way they should've been said... but I was peeved, and so was the girl who sat next to me. Even she said it was a bit extreme to call Him that word. I said out loud that I was offended and made it clear that I was upset.

I don't care what your religious beliefs are... you NEVER insult God with that word. EVER! If you disagree with Catholicism or Christianity, that's your prerogative, just be careful how you phrase things because people will be offended if you don't. I'm just saying. I think that's what might've triggered my whole "I can't breathe; anxiety; must leave class 'cause I feel sick" thing. The guy kept glancing at me after that. Hey, if you insult God, I will make it known that it's completely unacceptable. I would've said more to him about how completely disrespectful that was and given him my 2 cents but that would've just opened up a bigger can on worms. I am prepared to back up my feelings on Wednesday (if the Lord gives me enough strength to make it through without anxiety) if the guy wants to clear up what he said.

So, there you go. If you ever want to get me angry, that's the way to do it.
Man, if I wasn't already feeling like I was going to lose it (anxiety-wise) I would've spoken my mind until there was no tomorrow. Okay and... rant over, I promise.

Okay, well, I should probably email my professor as to why I left early so I'm going to do that.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

P.S. Check out my new friend Matthew's blog Fallible Blogma. It's awesome!