My Music Nerdiness and My Spiritual Life Aren't Friends

Music was my first "real" love. I'm pretty sure I danced before I learned to properly walk. As a little gal (maybe 3-4 years old), I used to strum a chord on Mom's guitar (hidden in one of our closest) and then run away, laughing at the mischief I was causing while simultaneously giddy about the "music" I was making.

As I grew up, music became my thing. I sang in school choir through middle school. I participated in a talent show my first (and only) year at a public high school where I sang. I grew up learning how to dance a number of different styles. I learned how to play a bit of the piano but the guitar was always my preferred instrument so I learned as a teenager and still play to this day. I was even majoring in Jazz Studies before I switched to Religious Studies for my first Bachelor's degree. When my father died, music was the thing that helped me through the first couple of weeks. I admittedly stopped playing the guitar for about 5 years following his death -- part of that comes from remembering how he promised to buy me a new guitar right before he passed away -- I eventually returned to it because music and playing (and singing and dancing) is a very big part of who I am and how I express myself.

Although I didn't choose my confirmation saint like most people do -- I was confirmed when I was 13, in Mexico where you don't choose confirmation saints -- it's no surprise that I ended up adopting St. Cecilia as my confirmation saint (I was confirmed on her feast day, at a church named after her). Patroness of music for a music-obsessed gal? It makes total sense.

I can tell you which songs and artists I liked growing up. My first purchased tape was a compilation of classical music. My first purchased CD (with my own money) was Jimi Hendrix's greatest hits. I still remember how I fell in love with jazz after listening to the version of "Summertime" sung by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong when I was a teenager and how it remains one of my favorite songs.

Listening to "You and I vs. the Sun" by Phantom Planet and "California" by Rufus Wainwright reminds me of my freshman year of college, especially the drive to Santa Monica College on the 10 freeway. I used to take my guitar and play Jack Johnson's "Sitting Waiting Wishing" and Ben Kweller's "Walk On Me" in between classes. During my favorite (and last) year at Santa Monica College -- before my reversion -- "So Says I" by The Shins and "My Favourite Game" by The Cardigans were on heavy rotation. I think I might still have the CDs on which I burned the playlists to listen on my Discman (I was late to join the iPod/mp3 party).

Most of my friends have songs associated with them; songs that remind me of them in one way or another and vice versa. The four songs my closest friends associate with me (that I've been told of) are "Rhapsody in Blue" by George Gershwin, "Sing Sing Sing" by Benny Goodman, "Georgia on My Mind' by Ray Charles, and "Dream a Little Dream (of Me)" by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong -- especially that last one because it suits my old fashioned romantic personality.

"My Sweet Lord" by George Harrison reminds me of the last time Dad and I drove out to Santa Monica (for a farmer's market); "The Universal" by Blur reminds me of the time I accompanied him to the hospital to get a device surgically placed on his arm for his chemotherapy prior to his passing. I was listening to Adele's version of "Make You Feel My Love" a few days before he died so I can't listen to it or Charlie Chaplin's "Smile" (link is to Nat King Cole's version) without crying because they remind me of his last week alive.

I can tell you that MuteMath's self-titled album was on heavy rotation when I reverted and how "Chaos" was my jam during that time... how I played Hunter Hayes' self-titled debut album when I wrote my senior thesis as an undergrad... how "All The Pennies" and "Mi Ancla," both by Mindy Gledhill, have been my most played songs in the past week. (side note: here's also the English version of "Mi Ancla" -- named "Anchor." The lyrics are sweeter in Spanish.) This doesn't even scratch the surface when it comes to my taste in music; not even close. Sure, I'm mainly a jazz and classical gal but, oh, I like most of it. Oh, and if you want to get vinyl at Hollywood's Amoeba Music, you take me and I'll find what you're looking for in record speed. A friend from college and I once went to get her fella blues music and we were out of there in no times because I know what you need and where to get it. I mean, you get the point -- music nerd: party of one.

It's amazing how so many memories -- good and bad -- are attached to music. As I was reflecting on this, I realized that there's only one area of my life that doesn't have music attached to it -- and it's my spiritual life. Like I said, I remember becoming a big MuteMath fan around the time of my reversion and the first Chronicles of Narnia soundtrack reminds me of Dad driving me to confession (I love that soundtrack) but that's about it. I love Franz Schubert's "Ave Maria" when I hear it played at weddings and I cry every time I hear it. I've also often dreamt that myself singing it. That's about it.

I love Gregorian chant and have played it when I study or pray. I love hymns. I adore the choir at the parish Mom and I go to when we attend Latin Mass. Such beautiful music... but, for some reason, I can't associate it with any particular time of my life. It's like my spiritual life and my music nerdiness can't find a happy medium; they can't coexist for some reason. I think it might because my spiritual life and, really, my faith is more sacred to me. Yes, I love music (and probably more than the average person) but it's something else. I know God is not constricted to our timeline -- that He stands outside of time -- but is it possible that our spiritual life is also like that? Does anyone else have this issue? I'd love to hear if you have because I can't make sense of this.

Anyway, this was just a random blog post with a random thought that popped into my head and had to be let out into the world so it's not bugging me when I'm trying to study. I have an exam on Saturday so I really need to concentrate on that. :)

Alright, I'm going to see what mischief I can get into... errr... I mean... what productive and totally not procrastinating things I can do. ;)

I hope you all had a lovely weekend! As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

What I Learned Wednesday #20: "Traddie" Edition

Before I get any crumbs from anyone:

1) I don't like putting labels on Catholicism (okay, fine, I like using "orthodox" -- small o) but for this post I'll use "traddie" to mean fans of pre-OF Mass/Vatican II (I can feel some of you cringing) Catholicism.

2) Yes, I'm a "traddie" in the sense that I love wearing a mantilla, attending daily Mass, prefer using the Douay-Rheims Bible, think Latin Mass is wonderful (yes, I've attended), and adore Gregorian chant. See how I keep using "traddie" with quotations? Yeah, don't hate.

And now this week's (quick) WILW items.

1) Did y'all know that there is an online bookstore that carries only traditional Catholic books? Oh yeah!! I was very excited to find Baronius Press Ltd. I think I'm even more excited to finally find a good copy of the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary, which I pray daily. I was enrolled in the Brown Scapular last year; I take my commitments seriously and reading the Little Office is amongst the requirements. ;) I can't tell you how many books that I have been wanting (but couldn't find good copies of) have made it onto my Christmas and birthday wishlist. For the record, a gentle reminder that my half-birthday is coming up next month. Just putting it out there in case my brother stumbles onto this post. lol. ;)

2) I found a great tumblr blog named Trad Catholic Problems that has some awesome memes. My top three memes at the moment are:







Okay, I can't relate to the last one (though I would totally do it!!) but definitely the first two. I have gotten comments of thinking myself holier than others (and other not so nice comments; hello, CINO college survivor, err, graduate) for wearing a mantilla. Seriously, I just think it's a beautiful tradition; covering our heads as a sign of respect towards our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. If it was good enough for my paternal grandmother (whom everyone says I take after), it's good enough for me. Also, I fangirl every time I see nuns wearing their habits at Mass, at the grocery store, or even at Disneyland.

3) I didn't learn this but I still haven't figured out why there's such a fuss made when a young Catholic (especially fellow Millennials) say they like "traditional" Catholicism. As I mentioned earlier, I love a lot of "traddie" things. This doesn't mean that I think of myself as holier or superior to others. Some of my fondest childhood memories include attending Mass with my mantilla-wearing paternal grandmother (may God rest her soul) in the small town where my dad was raised in. My prized possession is the mantilla my father bought for me only 4 months before he passed. I wish I could attend Latin Mass more often but the nearest parish that offers it weekly, St. Therese in Alhambra, is a bit of a drive for me and I have yet to get comfortable driving on the freeways. I think Venerable Fulton Sheen is fantastic. I hate clapping in Mass. I like my Masses solemn. These are just my preferences.

There is a rise in numbers that are preferring this "route." Latin Mass attending, "bead rattling", communion via tongue only Catholics, especially amongst those in our 20s and early 30s, are even gaining momentum in Los Angeles from what I've seen in my circle of friends and acquaintances. I don't have a link on hand (the one with the actual stats) but I'll post it when I find it. Anyway, someone please tell me what's so shocking about this. Please. Some of us are just drawn to it; no need to make a stink about it.

I was so not in the mood to blog (I want to get back to my book!) but I decided to take one for the team and write this quick post. By the way, I don't know which team. I just wanted to use the idiom. ;)

Alright, it's cold and raining (read: perfect book reading, tea drinking weather) so I'm going to enjoy it while we have it. I am seriously loving learning about all the married saints and blesseds and have been trying to do everything early so I have more time to read. So many saints I didn't know existed but have amazing and inspiring stories. :D

I hope you're all having a good week thus far. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D

Gregorian Chant; Pure Love Club; Application to Date Daughter.

I've been listening to A LOT of Gregorian chant music in the form of "The Catholic Mass" album by the Brotherhood of St. Gregory and Sisters of Mercy. I've also been listening to songs from the "Chant - Music For the Soul" album that the Cistercian Monks of Stift Heiligenkreuz released. If you haven't heard of the story of how the they (Cistercian Monks) got a record deal, you should totally check it out. And, you can learn more about them at their site (Stift Heiligenkreuz). I've linked it to the English translation for you guys. :D I remember reading about them around the time it the record deal happened and I was so happy to hear of it. There isn't enough of this beautiful music... at least, that's my opinion. There's something so... I don't know how to describe it except saying "beautiful", about it. It centers me, especially when I'm praying. I'm the type of person who CANNOT concentrate unless there's some background noise. Well, okay, the only time I love total silence is when I'm praying. Otherwise, I need some music or something. I've found that Gregorian chant actually works better than classical or cool jazz (yes, jazz music is cool but I mean the sub-genre "cool jazz") for me. If you've never tried using the music when you want to relax or even to help you get in the mood for prayer, I strongly suggest you try it! :D

Another thing I suggest you check out is this website called Pure Love Club. The website has all these wonderful features to help people stay pure and chaste. They have a great Chastity Q&A that covers all topics that you could possibly think of, including the Morality of Birth Control, How to Stay Pure, Dating, and Vocations. I really liked this website, from the first time I visited it, because I think it's important that young Catholics really get informed on these topics. There's so much propaganda about things that the Church frowns on (ie birth control, abortion, etc) in the mainstream that it's easy to get mislead. So, please, take a moment to check it out. I think you'll like it. :D

And... one more thing I think you guys will get a kick out of. My "little sister" DJ sent me this a few months ago and I think it's something we young women should have copies of (and young men should be prepared for). It's called "The Application to Date my Daughter" and it's super awesome. Let me tell you, even guys have gotten a kick out of it. :D Just click the following link to download the file that contains the application. (I uploaded it myself). http://www.sendspace.com/file/bbf2f8

That is all for today. I want to go watch the "Therese" dvd I got from Netflix. I've heard many great things about the film so I can't wait! I hope they do St. Therese of Lisieux and her life justice!

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D
.

Dizziness, Sin or No Sin?, Britt Nicole; Let the Writing Begin!

For anyone who's ever gotten new glasses, you know how terrible the first couple of days are. I've worn glasses for a few years now but every time I get a new prescription, I always feel drunk for about 3 days. Oh, and I'm assuming this is how you'd feel if you were drunk. I've technically only had a sip of wine twice at Mass (you know, the blood of Christ) but that's as far as my experience with alcohol goes. lol. Anyway, oy... it stinks. Hopefully I won't be too dizzy tomorrow for Mass.

No, I would still go if I were dizzy. Hopefully I make it through the entire hour without getting sick. *crosses fingers* I believe a prayer to St. Jude will be said tonight in hopes that tomorrow morning I will be good for Mass. :D I was going to go to confessions today but then I thought about whether or not last Sunday is still considered a sin. I mean, I had every intention of attending mass and I did make it for about 2 minutes before I got sick. Is it still a sin that I didn't get to attend the entire thing? Hmm... that is something to ask one of the priests tomorrow. Another reason why no confessions today... the car is being repaired as I type this out (I would normally be at church at this time). Oh well, in the meantime, I will be listening to Britt Nicole's debut album.

Last summer, while browsing iTunes, I discovered this young lady's album which is awesome! It's not really the type of music I'd normally listen to (I'm a jazz/classical girl) but I can't help but love her album. She's a Christian artist so you can hear her talking about God in the lyrics but it's not overwhelming. That's the thing about Christian music. First off, I am not going to knock it. I do like some Christian artists but I tend to stay away from the genre in general because sometimes I'm a little overwhelmed with the music. If I listen to religious music, I stick to things like Andrea Bocelli's "Ave Maria" or Gregorian Chants. That's my thing. Anyway, back to Britt Nicole... I think her demographic might be a bit younger than I am (oh man, I just made myself feel old; I'm 22 for Pete's sake! lol) but I still connect with the lyrics. There is one particular song, "Ready", that I listened to for the first time in a couple of weeks and it really hit home. I've been in the process of letting go of all the negative experiences I had with former friends -- a lot of them extremely painful. This song is pretty much my anthem is at the moment because it describes how I feel. I'm going to put a youtube video a fan made with the lyrics to her song:



See? not my type of music but still awesome nonetheless. I just got the urge to yell "Girl Power!"... which I haven't done since I was about 11 years old and was on a Spice Girls kick. lol. Seriously, though, if you're into this kind of music, definitely check out her album. She has a great voice, sings songs that actually mean something (and aren't some bubblegum pop manufactured stinkers) and she seems like a down-to-earth person. :)

Alright, well Britt's album (along with Becoming Jane, which put my gears in motion) have been inspiring me to get to work on my novel so that is precisely what I will do until I have to eat dinner. Until next time, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D