Tale of a Young Singer-Songwriter Who Stuck By His Beliefs

I've been wanting to write this blog for the past two days now because I feel like it's a pretty unheard of tale that should be told. Take a talented young singer-songwriter, add a reality show, mix in a grand prize that every contestant wants to win and you get pretty much every reality show out there. But wait, add a dash of the grand prize being a 7-episode arc on one of the biggest television shows on air at the moment and you get the reality show, The Glee Project. With the popularity of Glee and the exposure the winner would get from appearing on it, it's a little perplexing as to why the young man, Cameron Mitchell, walked away from it all though he had made it through to the next round and into the top 5... that is, until you hear the reasons why he left.

Before I go on, I have to admit that I was not planning on watching this show. At all. I'm not a reality tv fan... at all. I'm sorry but I'm not. I have an interesting relationship with the show Glee as well so there was nothing that would get me to watch the show. That is, until I found out that Damian McGinty of the music group Celtic Thunder would appear. Being a CT fan (though I wouldn't consider myself a Thunderhead because I do not do some things Thunderheads do... some of y'all know what I mean) for the past 3-4 years and watching Damian sort of grow up made me curious in seeing how he would do on the show. So I watched and I'm now hooked on the show. lol. Anyway, I developed another favorite on the show who just happened to be Cameron. Every week I've rooted for those two, who subsequently became best friends in real life -- away from the cameras, and I was shocked when Cameron decided to walk away from the show... while feeling a sort of big-sister type of pride in his decision to walk away. I did want him or Damian to win the competition but I am so in awe of his decision as I know it must've not been an easy one.

Now here come the spoilers if you haven't watched the episode and want to watch it. Skip this paragraph if that's you. Cameron left the show because there were things that he was not comfortable with because of his beliefs. It was no secret that Cameron is a Christian. He wears a cross and does not shy away from saying "no" to something because it is against his beliefs. In a previous episode, one of the other contestants, Lindsay, kissed him during the shoot for a music video they had to do. It caught him by surprised and he immediately felt bad. He's had a girlfriend for the past two years and did not feel right to be kissing anyone whom he was not dating. He called his mother about how bad he felt. This weekend's episode had the theme of Sexuality. Once again, he was asked to kiss a female contestant, Hannah, for a video shoot but he decided not to do it as he did not feel comfortable doing it. Both of these times he was in the bottom 3 -- the group risking possible elimination. The head honcho of the Glee franchise, Ryan Murphy, asked Cameron what would happened if Cameron was the eventual winner of the competition and on set of Glee he was ordered to kiss someone like the star, Lea Michele, and he had problems with it? Cameron stuck to his guns and reiterated that because of his beliefs he would have to decline. Ryan Murphy saw it as a problem but he still wanted Cameron to stick it out. In the end Cameron decided that, after much thought, it was best for him to leave as he would be taking the spot of someone who would be willing to do what they were asked to advance in the competition. He bowed out gracefully and with conviction we often don't see on television... especially from young men. (By the way, by his leaving he ended up saving his best friend on the show, Damian, who Ryan had chosen to be the one eliminated that week.)

The reason why I felt so compelled to write about this was because, as I said, we don't see this happening... either on TV or in real life. Very few people know that when I was in my teens, I wanted to be an actress or at the very least a screenwriter. I wanted to break into the business and I nearly did. I actually walked away from it all the day I was offered a contract with an agency who wanted to represent me. A week after I turned 20 years old was the day I walked away and I've never looked back. I had friends in the business and I saw how the little bit of fame had changed them. One of them, a self-proclaimed Christian whom I briefly dated, had (on our last meeting) show me a semi-pornographic image I had no desire to see. There are VERY few Catholics and Christians who will stick to their beliefs in the business... and even less men than women. The only men that come to mind are Neal McDonough who was fired for refusing to do a sex scene, Eduardo Verastegui who had a total conversion and made the critically acclaimed movie Bella, and Kirk Cameron who asked for his wife to stand in for the leading lady in the movie Fireproof as he did not want to kiss anyone but his wife. While some people may say that it's just acting and that it's no big deal, I think it's very admirable for these men to stick up for what they believe.

I sincerely hope that others see what Cameron has done and see that, though it may not be the easiest thing in the world, it IS possible to do what is right... even if it's not the popular decision. I applaud Cameron for the decision he made and I wish nothing but the best for him. He has some music up on iTunes you can check out or you can send him a tweet of support at @camronmitchell. (Oh, and P.S. Can someone please tweet or retweet him this link as I have my twitter, @nerdwriter, set to private? Thank you!) :) #TeamCameron lives on though he is no longer on the show. Oh, and go #TeamDamian. :D

Anyway, I just wanted to share this with y'all. If you want to see the episode for yourself, it's episode 7 of the Glee Project. I think Hulu might have it but don't quote me on it. It might also be on Oxygen's Glee Project page.

That's it for now. It's 97 degrees in my part of Los Angeles and I am trying not to melt right now. lol. I hope y'all have a great week and enjoy what is becoming the last weeks of freedom for most of us.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

Fighting Vocation Rethought; Music Monday

I cannot get the vocation rethought out of my head today. It's actually taking a bit of time that I should be using to get homework done. Yes, we've already got assigned tasks on the first day of classes. As my Philosophy professor said this morning, "Welcome to college!" lol. Anyway, I'm even more confused than ever on what I should do and it's starting to take a toll on me, spiritually.

I once again feel, deep down, like I'm meant for the married vocation but I still have that nagging feeling like maybe not. It's doing quite a number in my head. I've had a number of people who know me tell me they think I've make a good wife and mother (and a couple of those people are guy friends of mine), especially since I've already ruled out the religious vocation which some people felt I should've "done." Unfortunately, we don't get to decide these things. If I had it my way, I would be a wife and mother in a couple of years, after I finished college and established my career. If a couple of my "trad" Catholic friends had their way, I'd be a religious sister/nun (you guys know who you are). If you had a chance to peek into my mind, you wouldn't make sense of ANYTHING in there at the moment. I'm stressed about school already (thank the lack of financial aid for that), I'm still getting over my "anger"/frustration that accompanies the mourning process, etc. As reluctant as I am to admit this... I acknowledge that I'm still getting over all the disappointment, and a bit of anger, I recently felt due to things that were uncovered about a person whom I deeply loved. Even thinking about it makes me tear up, that's how fresh it still is. All of these things make me sometimes wonder if the thoughts about the single vocation aren't just an "attractive" option because of everything I've recently gone through. Honestly, even when I thought about the religious life, I always felt like I was meant to be married. I sobbed endlessly when my father's death hit me because of thought that I wouldn't have him to walk me down the aisle if/when my wedding day arrived.

I've thought about the single vocation, and I honestly don't know if I would be able to handle it. Though I'm fiercely independent (I actually enjoy working for my own money and paying for my things with my hard earned money) and could probably survive on my own, there's something that... I don't know... makes me cringe and uncomfortable about it. I'm not saying it's horrible and that I pity those who are meant for that vocation; I just don't know if it's for me. Again, it's not up to me, I've already told God that if it's my vocation, I won't fight it as much as I'd probably want to. And do I want to. Right now I want to cry and fight the feeling that I'm meant for this vocation... and I don't know if it because it's in my very nature to "rebel" against what I feel I'm being forced to do because it's my meant vocation or because, even though I'm not meant for it, I feel like I would be force to choose this to spare my mother's feelings. Again, I never felt this way until my mom kept bringing up marriage often followed by "I don't know what I'd do on my own." Yes, I had single vocation thoughts before all of this, but I never gave me second thoughts. I was so sure of my vocation until recently. Ugh! I'm sounding like a broken record, aren't I?

What I hate more about this is that it's causing me to lose my prayer life. I don't know where it's coming from. I just don't want to pray though I still do and fight against this apathetic, yet rebellious, feeling. It could be that I don't want this vocation so badly that I don't want my prayers answered or it could be the enemy putting all these thoughts into my head and thus making me a nutty nerd. It literally just dawned on me that all these thoughts and doubts could've just been put into my head because the enemy wants me to abandon my prayer life and wants me to be angry at something I love so dearly. If I ever needed St. Therese of Lisieux's intercession and one of her roses, it's now... or very soon; before I go absolutely batty. If y'all could please pray for me, I'd greatly appreciate it.

I think I'm going to go pray for a little while, after I finish a couple of quick things for my online/distance-education courses which start today. I want to get all the things that have deadlines before I can focus on my own internal struggle.

Oh, and since this is the first Music Monday, in a while, that I've posted anything... here's this week's song. I've mentioned Celtic Thunder a lot recently so I thought that one of the songs by a member of the group was appropriate. I've chosen the cover of "Castles in the Air" sung by C.T.'s Keith Harkin. (P.S. Celtic Thunder is made of 5 vocalists who do their own songs as well as group songs.) I think it's a beautiful rendition of the song and is currently my favorite song.



Okay, I'm off to tackle Biological Psychology and Interpersonal Communication before prayers and a quick nap (in that order). I hope everyone that returned to school today had a great day (better than mine; long story, lol)... and that those who went to school near the fires are/were safe! May St. Florian keep all the firefighters safe during this difficult time (and crazy heatwave).

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :)

The 7 Things I Love

I was tagged by both Kelly of Gratiae Ut Deus and Joe of Verbum Veritatis to do this so I will. Also, it serves as a "filler" post since I haven't finished reading "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" yet. And, yes, the blog (which I started last week) is on that particular topic. I have my reasons which you will soon read about... Anyway, without further ado -- the 7 Things I Love

1. Going to Mass and wearing a mantilla to the Mass. Anything having to do with the Mass makes me happy. Liturgical abuses make me one sad nerd. P.S. I refuse to clap along when singing hymns.

2. Saints. Reading saints books and having saint dreams. I'm also in the process of making myself a bracelet made out of saint medals.

3. Tea. All kinds of tea. I even drink it during the super hot summer. I guess you can call me a tea addict. Maybe I should've been born British. lol.

4. Flowers. I don't know why but I'm not happy unless there's a couple of flowers in each room. I also like falling asleep in a friend's garden. My favorites are different kinds of lilies and pink roses. If I ever have a home with a big backyard, I'll have a huge garden and put a statue of St. Fiacre in the middle of it. Wouldn't mind getting one of St. Therese of Lisieux's roses either. ;)

5. Things from the late 1930s to early 50s. Fashion, movies, music... love it all from that era. In fact, if I had the money, I would change my entire room to reflect this. Audrey Hepburn would be proud. :)

6. Music in general. Dancing to music, singing along to music, playing an instrument, etc. I have an "addiction" to iTunes. I've been trained (vocals and guitar) by the best, too. I've been very lucky. I still say St. Cecilia chose me, not the other way around, and am very happy she's my confirmation saint. :D

7. Ireland and the Irish culture. I don't know why but ever since I was a little girl, I've had a thing about Ireland. I wear a claddagh ring (and want to eventually get one with an emerald - my birthstone - on it)... one of my patron saints is Irish (St. Dymphna)... I look forward to St. Patrick's Day more than I do Valentine's Day and/or other holidays... in middle school I use to mumble something about wishing I was Irish on St. Patrick's Day to anyone who would listen... the men of Celtic Thunder and The Script make me swoon like a school girl (lol), etc.

See? That was short and painless and now you know a little more about the nerdette that writes this blog. lol. Okay, now I'm going back to my reading. :D I hope to have the new post tomorrow but no promises. :) Hope everyone had a good week. Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

St. Patrick's Day, St. Teresa of Avila: Her Autobiography and a Dream, St. Benedict.

I hope everyone had a good St. Patrick's Day today (hey, it's technically still Monday here in California.) I know today wasn't exactly celebrated since it did fall during Lent but that didn't stop the t.v. stations from airing different St. Patrick's related things. I watched part of the parade that went on in New York City and the Ireland episodes of the shows "Trip of a Lifetime" and "Passport to Europe" on the Travel Channel. I watched part of the history of the holiday on the National Geographic channel. I watched Celtic Thunder perform on a rerun on station much like PBS. I have to say, I became a fan of Celtic Thunder after watching them performing. All have outstanding voices and the songs were awesome. I also caught them during the beginning of the St. Patrick's Day parade -- that's actually what made me tune into their concert. I am definitely getting their album and DVD of that particular performance. Whoo! :)

While watching all the festivities, I managed to read a good chunk of St. Teresa of Avila's autobiography. I have to admit, I struggled getting through it. Not because it was hard to understand -- I found it very well written and easy to follow. I think it was because I had promised a certain amount of pages to Our Lady of Guadalupe and I encountered A LOT of temptations to quit. The good thing is that, though it took me nearly all day to finish those pages, I did and stuck to my word. I have never felt so sleepy or tired reading a book (that wasn't for a class) before so I looked at it as a test that I had to complete to show that I was strong enough to keep my word. It was hard! I kept feeling like I was going to just fall fast asleep on the bed or go completely insane (seriously, I would get images of myself going nuts) but I stuck it out. I also got these really rude images in my head while reading so I asked St. Michael Archangel to please put those images out of my head. All that struggle was completely worth it, though! What a wonderful book to read. I can see why I was told it would be a great book to read during Lent. It's really changing a number of my habits for the better. And, I keep on finding more and more in common with her.

I actually had a dream that involved me falling to my knees and praying, asking St. Teresa and St. Benedict of Nursia to help me because the devil was trying to take me away with him. It was pretty intense. Maybe, and this is me just thinking/writing out loud here, it was a warning that I was going to struggle with the book today with a lot of temptations. I know we're not supposed to read into dreams (and I know I've said this before) but I can't help but make the connections. I've also been dreaming about asking St. Benedict to save me lately so I am going to actually look more into his life. I know he's the patron against witchcraft and temptations. Ah, temptations... okay... I see the connection more clearly now. :D I definitely want to get a Prayer/Holy Card of him (I have a thing about collecting Holy Cards of saints) to have with me.

Alright, well, sorry for such a short entry but I really am pretty tired. I want to get some sleep and get myself ready for my chat with Fr. Leo. I have a lot I want to talk to him about. I want to prepare because if I don't get my thoughts collected beforehand, I will forget. Boo for my forgetful mind, which I never had before. :D Okay, I am starting to ramble on. I will stop. lol. As always, thanks for reading and God Bless.