Lent: Giving Up Social Media and... Talking?!

No, your eyes do not deceive you. I'm giving up talking... in a way. Let me back up a bit and explain.

I've been thinking about what to do for Lent for several weeks. I started early... even before Christmastide actually ended. Advent was amazing for me and I grew a lot as a person. Since then, I've also come to figure out what I truly feel called to do (vocation-wise) and a lot of changes need to be made in that department so I knew there was no better time to implement these changes than Lent. That's not to say that these are "what will make me look better?" changes. No, these are "what will help me live a holier life; one closer to God" changes. Most changes will be small and gradual but there are two that needed immediate attention: social media and what's been coming out of my mouth lately.

As you guys (who've been reading this blog for at least a year) know, I've struggled with my social media addiction for quite some time. I even gave it up in chunks last Lent (you can read about it here and here) and it went well... for a while. I had fallen off the limited-social-media horse when I got sick last summer and then I had to work on that again. I was doing well... and then I wasn't. Again. Are we noticing a pattern yet? I know I substituted Facebook and Twitter for Instagram in recent weeks so I decided to do a no social media fast every day, including Sundays and holy days. I spend too much time scrolling through Instagram, making sure I don't "miss" anything... and then I get sucked into seeing celebrity IG accounts. Who am I?! I never used to do this. Anyway, I've already let my friends know that they have options to contact me and I'm always willing to put something aside for a little while to catch up... unless I'm doing an exam then for that hour I'm not available. ;) 

Now for the big one, which I know a lot of people are probably wondering about. I decided to give up talking because of two reasons. First, the things that have come out of my mouth in recent weeks have not been uncharitable or very ladylike. I'm not saying it's cussing (I don't like cursing); it's simply not nice. I lose my patience when I'm driving (which, apparently, is quite the epidemic here in L.A.) and I say things like "good job, stupid"... or worse. *cringe* (side note: this is a fairly new development and I'm pretty sure it has to do with my lack of Mass attendance). I usually say "good job, friend" but I haven't been as charitable lately. 

Second, I've noticed that it's not only happening when I drive, it's happening overall. I feel like I'm wasting words; the conversations are becoming more shallow and empty, which I dislike. Instead of being positive, it's so easy to complain and feel sorry for myself during times of trials. It's so easy to vent to friends. Even if you think you're being careful, I know it can still come out as being uncharitable towards others. Instead of building up, the tongue can tear something or someone down and if we do it long enough, it becomes a bad habit that will land you in the confessional more often than not.

I'm not giving up talking altogether; I'm just going to be a lot more mindful about what I'm going to say before I say it. I'm going to warn those I usually talk to that I may reply a little slower than usual because I want to make sure that the words that come out of my mouth are used to glorify God, His creations, and/or build something or someone one up. I'm going to try to keep my mouth shut and literally walk away from situations that would tempt to do be uncharitable.

Those are the two big things I'm giving up for Lent. I'm also giving up TV, movies, and screentime (overall) during the remainder of the semester. I've been giving myself too much time to "rest" when I could be studying. My time management there has been really poor and that needs to be addressed but that might be easier to do. Study first, movies later... or movies during Sundays. I'm also limiting my books to Catholic books and books that will help me succeed in my social-media-fast / no frivolous chatter / better time management goals. No more YA fiction for a while.

Those are my plans for Lent. I didn't mention things I'm adding because those things (I feel) need to be done with only God as my witness. They are all good and positive so no worries there. :) 

I will continue blogging throughout Lent. I might even blog more often if I don't get enough socializing... which I probably won't because all of my friends that lived nearby have moved away and everyone pretty much uses social media to stay in touch. lol. File this under "social introvert problems." I believe the blog posts will automatically post to both Twitter and Facebook via IFTTT. Awestruck and my Google+ profile won't be updated; I'm sorry about that if you keep up with the blog posts from those two places. 

I hope you all have an enriching Lenten season. Congrats to the two (randomly chosen by Rafflecoppter) winners of the Magnificat Lenten Companion app: Lesley S. and Joe W.! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Words of Affirmation

With Valentine's Day coming up next week (and a not so positive message I received this morning), I've been thinking a lot about words of affirmation. According to the 5 Love Languages test, I scored the highest in quality time followed by words of affirmation the first time I took it and words of affirmation followed by quality time the second time around. *shrugs* I enjoy both but I think that it's words that affect me the most.

I hate to admit it but I'm very much the type of person who gets hurt easily by someone's words. I'm sensitive (always have been) so whenever someone says something that I feel was uncalled or (especially) unjust, it weighs heavily on me. Sometimes I want to talk to friends about something that is bothering me but I hate that I can't talk to certain people because I know that their words will unintentionally make me feel worse.

One of the biggest things I've had to learn is to not let others comments affect me. It's gotten much better on social media but it's still a big obstacle with my close group of friends. I think I'm always positive when talking to someone else about their problems because that's how I'd like to be treated. Not necessarily sugar coating it, but being more positive and looking for the silver lining. I don't always get that and it's something I need to learn how to deal with because not everyone is going to be nice and/or helpful. Negative Nellies will always (unfortunately) exist.

All of this reminds me of how my own words affect others. I know when to open my mouth and when to keep it shut, but I sometimes slip. I'm human and sometimes I'm cranky or tired and I don't think before I speak. I apologize and feel bad about it but I do try to be conscious of what I'm saying. I try to remember this when others reply to me in a not-so-nice or positive tone. We all have our bad days but I think it's important to try to still try to be more positive in our words when dealing with others.

Lately, one of my friends brought up the wounds of a scourged Jesus... which made me think about the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary (which are the mysteries we're meditating on today). When I get to the second Sorrowful Mystery (the scourging), I reflect on how Jesus endured all that pain for the sins of others... including my future actions and words. When the crown of thorns was placed on His head, they spat on him and mocked him. They used words to inflict more pain on him. Then I think of all the vile things -- untrue and unjust -- that were said to and of Him and it opens up the waterworks in me. Just thinking about this makes me want to try harder to give more words of affirmation to those in my life (and even those I barely know on social media).

Some people have tougher skin than others but that doesn't mean that the words still don't affect them. They may not show it or even admit it, but words hurt. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Um, nope. Words still hurt.

This is my challenge for the weekend (which you are all invited to partake in if you'd like): use more words of affirmation, even when the situation seems bad. There's already so much negativity in this world... why should I contribute to it? Answer: I shouldn't. If nothing positive can be said, mouth is staying shut. The Liverpool vs Everton match is going to be a test for me because I'm kind of snarky during football matches. lol.

Anyway, I should go get some snail mail letters written so they can be mailed today. :)

I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D