Disney, Belle, St. Therese, and Being Childlike.

Yes, I was in the Beast's library on Monday... and yes, I took this picture so if you take it, please give me credit.

I know, I know... I broke the chain. I didn't post yesterday because 1) I decided to clean the house and it took a good chunk of my day and 2) I had a combo anxiety/fatigue day that kept me from doing much. I spent most of the evening/night feeling like I couldn't breathe. THIS is why I like being busy; I am less likely to have anxiety when my mind is occupied with something. Anyway, that's in the past and I still want to write my Disney inspired post... ;)

For the record, no one guessed what the video had to do with today's post. I got responses on the Facebook page and as well as on twitter but no one was able to guess it. Some responses were good... and definitely made me think, but no cigar. Let's talk a little about Beauty and the Beast and one of my heavenly buddies, St. Therese of Lisieux.

Beauty and the Beast has been my favorite Disney animated film since I first watched it. In fact, I was such a fan when it first came out that I dressed up as Belle for Halloween that year. I have always been able to identify with Belle -- she's a bookworm, kind of feisty and independent, being a bit of a loner, wanting to get out of her hometown, willing to sacrifice for her family, etc. When I found out that there was an attraction in California Adventure, which was done to look like the Beast's massive library (my dream library), I knew I had to go in. Inside it looks like a miniature version of the library. You sit in front of one of the many books spread out inside the library and you take a quiz which tells you which Disney character you are most like. Without cheating, I took the quiz and got Belle. I was absolutely giddy... and then it hit me that this was one of the reasons why I like going to Disneyland and California Adventure.

If you've read enough of my blog posts you know that I didn't really have much of a childhood. I've always been an old soul trapped in a young body. Just look at the kind of music, films and clothing that I prefer (from the 1940s into the early 1950s) and that pretty much tells you. My mom likes to tell me stories of how I was as a little girl and I was very precocious. Having helped take care of my dad and having to act grown up from a very young age have made me not have a typical childhood... though I am totally not complaining. I loved the way I grew up, though it was occasionally a lonely one since I grew up with only my parents.

Because I grew up by myself, I had to entertain myself. I drew a lot. I got a library card as soon as I could pick out my own books (which I still have and use to this day). I wrote. A LOT. My best friend growing up, Rudy, gave me notebooks and pens for my birthday up until we was 18 years old and he moved away. He said he always saw me writing and knew how fast I went through notebook so it was the ideal birthday present. He's actually the person who knew I was meant to be a writer before I ever thought about it. My need of entertainment, as well as my constant literary companions, helped nourish my creativity. In this sense, I haven't grown up. When I get into my little literary world, I feel like Peter Pan... only a female version of Peter Pan. I can escape into the world I create and live vicariously through my characters. Of course, I know that it's not real and I don't bring it out into my personal life but I do enjoy feeling like a kid every time I write... and go to Disneyland.

St. Therese of Lisieux inspired me to be childlike (but not a childish) when I look at things, especially when it comes to my faith. (And a quick side note: St. Therese was French like Belle. See? I can connect these things. ;D) I briefly mentioned this in a blog post a few years ago but as I've gotten older, my views have changed. Of course, I still try to talk to God (my favorite place is in front of the Tabernacle when there isn't Adoration) and I am constantly in awe and wonder when I learn something new about my Faith. Whenever I go to new parishes or places that are connected to the Catholic Church (i.e. the California Missions), I feel like a kid in a candy store. That doesn't mean that I am going to pout, rant, and demand that all my prayers be answered like I did when I was younger. I know that we can ask God for something but if it's not His will, He will give me what I need. My earthly dad may no longer be with me but my Father still is and I have no problem going to Him whenever I need a dad in my life... and that is what I was thinking about while I was at Disneyland. I'm serious.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this with y'all. :D Again, sorry I didn't write it yesterday but I wasn't feeling well (I was so weak and fatigued that I thought I was going to collapse on the floor while I was cleaning the living room.) Since I broke the chain yesterday it looks like I'm starting the "every day for a week" posting until I actually go through with it. I hope y'all don't mind. ;)

I should try to finish cleaning my room before the evening Mass today; I slept in this morning because my anxiety kept me up late last night. Oh, and I'm feeling better today so please don't worry. :)

As always, thanks for reading and God bless!

Disneyland, Dominican Nuns, and Lessons Learned

Yes, I took this picture only two nights ago. :D

If you're following me on twitter, you know that I went back to Disneyland and California Adventure on Monday. (I got an annual pass for my birthday this year so I can go often. :D) It proved to be good timing as I had finished the Novena of the Seven Gifts (a.k.a. the Holy Spirit/Pentecost novena) and I wanted to put my new found outlook to use. There is seriously no better place to test your progress than Disneyland. You encounter occasional pushing/shoving, rude guests, long lines to get on the rides, screaming children, overpriced everything, etc. With my anxiety being a pain in my tush, it was also a good place to see how I would do. Happy to say that it went much better than I expected. :D

I actually left the house with both anxiety and a stomach bug (yes, I know... I'm constantly suffering from some stomach ailment as it's very sensitive). I knew I was going to be there for at least 14 hours so I did my best to just get through it. After the first ride I actually felt quite sick and, stranded at the theme parks until 10 p.m., I decided to pray the 9 Hour Novena to the Infant of Prague which I only use when I know it's absolutely necessary. I knew that it meant that I had to pray while I was waiting in line for rides, and that people would see me doing the sign of the cross, but it was good for me to do so. I have to get over my self-conscious feeling when I do the sign of the cross in a public place ('cause I usually get strange looks and I'm shy... do the math. lol.) I felt so horrible and I knew my ride wouldn't be by to pick us up until nighttime so I did it. I'm very glad I did because I got better as the day went on and it turned out to be one of the best times I've ever had at Disneyland.

I kept seeing what I thought were little signs that I was going to be fine. On the second ride, and first after I started the novena, I saw that the line was going to take 40 minutes but decided to go ahead and get in line. (For those interested: it was for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.) My time to do the novena came a couple of minutes into our time in line. I turned on my iPod touch (where I'd typed out the novena) and prayed the novena. The line went by faster from that point on. I also saw a woman wearing a bracelet with saints on it (you know, those popular ones) and I felt a little better. On our next ride, the Small World ride, we were in line with Dominican nuns. I kid you not. There were three sweet Dominican nuns enjoying Disneyland, with big smiles on their faces. It made me so giddy, it was actually quite funny. It reminded me of the happiness I felt as a child when I saw nuns; of the time when I used to tell everyone I was going to grow up to be a Carmelite nun. :D I ended up seeing them a couple more times throughout the day which really made my day. (side note: the Dominican order was the one that inspired me, via Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati, to become a Catholic educator after college.)

My novena ended when I still have two and a half hours left of my time at California Adventure, the theme park next to Disneyland. As I finished and during my time praying it, I kept God on my mind. I remembered to be more charitable with people despite how they might act. I remembered every single one of the Holy Spirit gifts I had prayed about that previous week as well as the novena I had done that day. I was rewarded with my stomach bug and anxiety having calmed down after the first two hours of the novena as well as a better understanding of myself and what I still need to work on. I was always rewarded with my "baby magnet powers" being extra good. lol. A little girl I didn't even know even took my hand while walking down the Monorail stairs. :)

We stayed until the World of Colors show which was beautiful. I am woman enough to admit that I cried during the 30 minute presentation because it reminded me of my childhood. All the movies I loved growing up were featured and, standing next to my mom under the moon and stars, it really reminded me of what was important. I thought about always having that childlike love and trust in God that St. Therese of Lisieux talked about. After the show was done, and before we left, we turned back to Disneyland to watch the fireworks display. Watching them, and feeling utterly content about how the day had turned out, I inwardly thanked God for the lessons I had learned.

Now you see why I like going to Disneyland and why my mini vacation idea was a good one? I'm slowly coming back online but I have already made the decision not to be online as much as I have in the past. It's been good for me (though I miss y'all terribly) and I like this new relationship I have with God. :D

OH! And before I forget, I want to thank everyone who kept praying for my Cal Grant situation. I spoke to someone at the California Student Aid Commission yesterday and she confirmed that my appeal to receive my final Cal Grant for my senior year (though initially denied twice) was approved last week and that the official letter would be arriving next week. That means that the loans (if I have any) won't be as scary as I previously thought. Thank you, God, for the miracle as well as those who prayed on my behalf. :D

I should quit writing as I'm sure it's really long by now. :D I hope y'all are having a good week thus far! And to those who are thinking about the mini online vacation, I definitely cannot recommend it enough. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D