This Is What Happens When You Trust God...

1) You pray earnestly for something but ultimately resign yourself to doing whatever God's will is. Result: You get back your blood test results that say you're 100% healthy. Somehow the thyroid levels fixed themselves and are now within normal range. Also, absolutely no diabetes or anything else. A couple lost pounds (which aren't noticeable) but otherwise very healthy. :D

2) You have faith in your friends and neighbors because they are good people who love God and believe in charity. Result: You have amazing friends whom you can count on. I had no ride to or from school on Tuesday and a friend drove an hour to my house to take me to school and then waited 3 hours until I was out of my classes. The Lord repaid him the next day with a job he'd been hoping for and will be relocating this weekend. Another friend also helped me get a replacement phone after mine was stolen at school on Monday. I'm sure the Lord will repay her soon; don't worry, I already did too. ;)

3) You trust that the Lord will provide financially when you are in need. Result: You get one of the few emergency loans available from the school to buy your textbooks so you don't fall behind... and then Amazon has them delivered to your house the very next day for free so you have all weekend to read. It wasn't until after I received the loan that a friend/former classmate said I lucked out because they run out of emergency funds fast. My reverse senioritis rejoices. lol.

I told one of my best friends and my mom that I believe that this summer was sort of a test for me. My faith was tested in a big way with all these question marks over my health and financial stability. I hadn't had to deal with any of this until this summer. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't go through a day or two of "I trust in you, God, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to endure this." Eventually those thoughts of self doubt (though I really did try, in all earnest, to dispel them as quickly as possible) gave way to resignation to doing whatever God's will is for me. It's something that has been hard for me in the past couple of years (since my father's death to be honest) because I know and I trust that God will provide but it's difficult when a feeling of hopelessness tries to creep up. As someone who deals with anxiety and panic disorder (though this has been going away as well) and who has to deal with as much as I have it's hard to just let go entirely. Like I said, I trust God but I don't always trust that I have courage myself. I know some of you guys were praying for me and I am wholeheartedly grateful for the prayers and for the words of encouragement.

Anyway, I'm in the middle of housework (I'm finally getting back into the swing of things as they were prior to my dad passing away; housework and homework done like clockwork) and I just wanted to take a brief break to update y'all on the results and everything else. I'll let y'all know about school soon. I'm hoping Monday as I am going to try to take Sundays off from blogging. :)

Again, thanks for everything! The prayers in the 54 Day Rosary novenas said, the novena to the Holy Souls in Purgatory, and the novena to St. Jude really helped. I'm honestly humbled by how many of y'all prayed for me. I hope y'all had a great week and will have a fantastic weekend. East Coast friends, please stay safe! We will all be praying for y'all! <3

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Can The First Week of Senior Year Get Any Weirder?

If you're following me on Twitter or are a FB friend than you already know how weird my first two days of senior year have been. On the plus side: I'm done with homework for 3/5 courses (for the week) and I have friends in all my classes. On the "ick!" side: my phone was stolen/lost on the first day of the year (I even had to file a police report with campus security), I almost face planted when I tripped and fell that same day, and a friend had to drive an hour to pick me up and take me to and from school when I could not find a ride (or afford to drive myself). In between I have some interesting (thus far) classes in my first all-male professors semester at a primarly all-female school. Some of my classmates are already swooning over my Norse Mythology professor. lol.

It's really weird, to me, because I was so determined to make the most of my week, despite the misfortunes, and I've kind of done it. Despite being in a sort of "panic" mode on Monday while I tried to find my phone, I ended up kind of laughing over it in the end. It was just so ridiculous to me. Except for today when I lost my cool after a guy in an SUV nearly hit me in at grocery store parking lot (I promise I am uber cautious when I drive and I was going at a good speed that allowed me to avoid an accident when the guy verbally attacked me while he impatiently tried to get a parking spot before I did), I've been able to exercise patience and charity towards others. Basically, I've thrown the lemons back. :D I don't know if it's because I made the resolution to make myself as calm as possible (I'm so tired of being stressed and anxious) or because the effects of the last week of the 54 Day Rosary Novena are starting (today is the last day). All I know is that I'm kind of mellow (again, except for today -- though I did end up saying a Hail Mary a couple of seconds after the incident to get over my annoyance). It's good. I'm trying to make the most of the obstacles being thrown at me.

Who knows how the rest of my senior year (and week) will go. I still have a few days to go. Tomorrow I go back for my second official day of classes (I'm only on campus twice a week this semester). I already know that my last Religious Studies class will be interesting... and by that I mean I already have a feeling that there's going to be one final attempt to get me to think in a more liberal way. What is tipping me off? We have a couple of weeks worth of feminist theology in my Christology class. Feel free to note how many things were wrong is that last sentence. I've been told to not be to "concrete" and "stubborn" in my ideas about my Faith and that I should be open to any new ideas about what Christianity is. Interesting indeed. All my other classes should be fairly innocuous but I'll keep y'all updated. As I said, this is my last 8 months as a college undergrad student so who knows what the professors and the college has in store for me before I graduate.

Oh, tomorrow I also go get my blood work results in the evening. I would be lying if I said I wasn't slightly nervous but I've resigned myself to doing whatever God's will for me is. I've asked, in the Rosary novena, for good, healthy results but if hypothyroidism or diabetes comes up I'll just have to deal with it.

Anyway, to end on more positive note: it's been so stinking hot (and the Weather Channel is predicting over 100 degree weather all this week) that I will be able to wear skirts. So excited! lol. The older I get, and the more I study about Catholicism and modesty, the more I favor skirts and just being more feminine. This little tomboy is growing up and enjoying the process. lol. Btw, ladies, head over to Betty Beguiles for awesome tips on modesty in clothing and other "girly" things if you already haven't. I love her and the site, especially since she introduced me to Shabby Apple... which I will one day be able to afford. lol.

I have reverse senioritis (hitting the books hard from day one) so I should get back to being prepared for tomorrow. Shocking, I know. ;D I hope everyone who is starting school this week and next is doing great. I'm starting a novena to St. Thomas Aquinas for fellow students, professors/teacher, and staff so if you'd like to be included, please let me know by leaving me a comment here or at this blog's Facebook Page. :)

As always, thank you for reading and God Bless. :D

So, Last Night's Emergency Room Trip...

I took this picture after I left the Emergency Room last night.

As some of you know from Twitter or FB, yesterday I was taken to the E.R. quite ill. I tried to hold out as long as I could as the county hospital wait times are ridiculous but I really could not. I felt horrible, was incredibly dizzy, and nearly fainted while I was walking. They did an EKG and said my heart was fine and I had no symptoms of a stroke which they ruled out right away. I spent 6 hours in the E.R. and the doctor said I had a bad panic/anxiety attacks as well as dehydration, low blood pressure (according to the 1st nurse who also hit on me while I felt like crumbs), and high blood sugar levels (170 according to the 2nd nurse). I had eaten two Pop-Tarts on an empty stomach an hour or two before the blood sugar level was taken so I'm guessing that was the elevated blood sugar level but they still want me to get tested for diabetes. I had already gotten blood work done (a month ago) and that was okay and I've gotten my blood sugar level taken twice in the past 4 months and it's been normal so I'm not stressing too much. More blood work to go along with the thyroid level blood work I have to get done this week. *sigh*. I hate needles. At least it wasn't worse and for that I am grateful.

I felt like crumbs a couple of hours but half of my stay in the E.R. was spent waiting around, reading Pride and Prejudice on my iPod touch Kindle, and drinking a huge cup of ice water (I didn't know they made them that big) that the doctor wanted me to drink (and additional two water bottles I had with me) to get me hydrated. I got to pray the 54 day Rosary novena and the St. Jude novenas before I left too, which was good because I didn't go home until about midnight and I would've had to start all over.

Although it was scary I am grateful that it was taken care of quickly. I had actually started feeling sick at Mass around noon, and was uber dizzy and lightheaded in Mass and wanted to hold onto the pews while in line to receive communion but I didn't want to say anything, and I just let it get worse which I should not do. Unfortunately, though I want to take it easy, it doesn't seem that it'll happen. I could go on a rant about this but I'll just say that it makes me upset that after everything that happened yesterday and considering how exhausted I feel today, it's just not nice to make me feel like crumbs for wanting to rest today. I will try to make it to Mass today but I'm just not feeling up to driving or, really, going out at all. We'll see how it goes.

To everyone who prayed for me yesterday, THANK YOU! The wait times at the county hospitals are usually between 12 to 24 hours so my 6 hours were nothing and I think your prayers really did it. :)

I hope y'all are doing much better than I am and that you will have a great week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless.

Three Catholic New Media Awards Nominations!

Um... Best Blog Written by a Woman, Best Written Blog, and People's Choice Blog... *pinches self* seriously?! THANK YOU! I'm truly speechless and humbled. I don't know what I did to deserve the nominations from whoever nominated me but thank you!

I don't think I'm going to win anything because I'm up against some truly fantastic blogs (many of which are written by friends) but I don't mind. :) I'm always surprised when people outside my group of friends tell me that they read this blog. lol. Anyway, I just wanted to say a quick "Thank you!" and urge you to vote and not just for mine. Please vote for whichever blog, website, and podcast you wish to vote for. I'm not going to lie and say that I did not vote for myself, 'cause I did (and it might be the only one, lol), but I also did not vote for myself in a couple of categories. I voted for friends whose websites and blogs are far superior to mine. :) I'm truly honored to be in such wonderful company and wish everyone good luck during this voting period. :) (side note: You need to register to vote and you only get one shot.)

(Oh, and P.S. If you already haven't, make sure you join the Facebook Page for this blog. :D)

That's it for now 'cause I have a crazy busy day. :) I hope y'all have a great weekend!

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!

Health Scares, Daily Masses, and Facebook Pages.

Not much has been going on with me hence the lack of posts. Last Friday I was told my thyroid levels were low and that I might have hypothyroidism which, to be honest, scares me because it would mean that I will be on medication for life and I don't do well with medication. I've had my cry and have gotten most of it out of my system. As I told my new Spiritual Director (yes, I finally got a new one! :D) when I say to God that I will do His will for me I do mean it but it scares the heck out of me to think that I have something that I will need medication for the rest of my life. There is a slight chance that the thyroid levels were a bit off since I had the blood work done while I was taking one of the stronger antibiotics for the horrible throat infection I had, and I do not have any of the symptoms of hypothyroidism, so I'm trying to not jump to any conclusions. I get my second round of blood work done in exactly a week and I get my full results on the 25th so we'll see what happens.

It's kind of funny that someone told me that I had the worst health luck out of anyone she knew because I don't think I do. I know so many people are far worse than I am, and at a much younger age, and I don't see things like my anxiety as a curse (in fact, I've come to see having anxiety as a blessing as I am able to offer up panic attacks for the souls in purgatory). As weird as it sounds, I feel closest to God when I am sick because it sort of takes me away from any selfish tendencies I might have and makes me focus on what is truly important and makes me more grateful for what I do have. At the same time, I'll admit that while doing the 54 Day Rosary Novena (I'm on day 41) I am praying for my health because I am about to enter my senior year of college and I want to make the most of it. Also, I want to work on my relationship with God while healthy because I feel like it needs a lot of work when I have no problems to deal with as opposed to when I am ill with something. As I said, as hard as it sometimes is for me to think that I am strong enough to handle whatever is handed to me, I know that God never gives us anything we can't handle and that as long as I do His will I'll be okay. Ultimately, I need to do what is right because my soul is what matters more than my mortal body.

And, speaking of that, I have been trying to attend daily Mass and it's been hit and miss. When my parish offers evening Masses, I am able to attend but when they only offer morning Masses (which is twice a week) I haven't been able to attend. I get very little sleep at night and in the wee hours of the morning because I have to take my mom to work at 4 a.m. My internal clock is so messed up (and my neighbors' drunken parties that end at 3 a.m. do not help) that I sleep anywhere between an hour to 3 before I have to get up and then it takes me anywhere between an hour to three to fall back asleep when I get home... yeah. I'll spare you guys the headache of figuring out the rest but let's just say that my favorite time of day (mornings) is wasted because I cannot keep a good sleeping schedule. My eating schedule is also off so it's a pain. I feel so at peace and so happy when I do go to daily Mass that not being able to attend Mass because my schedule is so off really bugs me. (And before I get any comments or advice, 1) I've tried everything (natural) to fall asleep early... 2) mom can't drive because she had a terrible car crash before I was born and is too nervous to drive... and 3) we cannot afford to pay taxis to take mom to work every day). I hope that my schedule will go back to normal (or at least that I will be allowed at least 5-6 hours of sleep without interruptions) when I go back to school since my classes will be in the morning and I cannot sleep until noon or 1 p.m. like I've been doing for the past two months. I will also have to get over my aversion of attending Mass on campus since I only have classes twice a week but those two days are the same ones on which they don't offer evening Masses. Oh what fun this all is, isn't it? By the way, if it sounded like a rant I'm sorry. That was not my intention. :)

Anyway, I think I've written long enough so I will say one more thing: this blog now has a Facebook Page so you can join and get updates whenever I have new posts. I know that it will be easier for some people than just checking every once in a while to see if anything has been updated. :) I need about 13 more people until I can get a proper URL (and therefore get a box to add to the blog) so please join if you can. :)

That's it for now. I'm currently reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (and have already read Emma and Northanger Abbey -- Happy "Emmy declares late July through mid August Jane Austen Month" month :D) and I want to get back to it. That and a certain someone who made a guest post on this blog has turned reading books into competition with me so, you know, I gotta get back to finishing my novels. :D

I hope y'all are doing well and that those who will return to school soon enjoy the rest of their summer vacation. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D