The Confiteor Questions

Over the past week or so, there's one topic that I've been chatting about with some of my guy friends: the Confiteor. What is the Confiteor you may ask? It's this prayer...

"I confess to almighty God
and to you, my brothers and sisters,
that I have greatly sinned
in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done
and in what I have failed to do,
through my fault,
through my fault,
through my most grievous fault;
therefore I ask blessed Mary ever-Virgin,
all the Angels and Saints,
and you, my brothers and sisters,
to pray for me to the Lord our God."

What I've been bringing up is the fact that I rarely hear it during Mass. Except for my spiritual director and the occasional priest, most other priests (at least in my neck of the woods) seem to prefer different variations during the Penitential Rite.

I'll go ahead and admit that, if I don't hear the Confiteor prayed during Mass, it doesn't seem right to me; it feels like something is missing. I don't know if it's because I grew up attending mostly Spanish Masses and the Confiteor is always used (and you always strike your breast during "through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault..."). I don't know if it's a sign that I'm sort of a Mass "snob" because that can be very possible (I cringe when I see liturgical abuses).

This week I've decided to figure out why it seems to no longer be commonly used during Masses. Yes, I know it can be a preference thing amongst priests, but I am curious as to why. Are the options (I believe there's about 3 different prayer options during the Penitential Rite; someone correct me if I'm wrong) a product of Vatican II? When were the options introduced? When was the Confeitor introduced? When prayed during the N.O. (Novus Ordo/Ordinary Form) Mass, why do most people not strike their breast? I feel like I'm the only person under 50 who does it. lol. I have so many questions that are currently unanswered and I'm pretty sure they're going to bug me until I get the answers.

So, that is my mission for the week; to find out the answer to these questions. Does anyone know or can anyone point me in the right direction? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Anyway, that's it for now. Yes, I am well aware that I have been posting almost daily. See? I told you Journey of a Catholic Nerd Writer (back to) 1.0 was a good idea. lol. ;)

I hope y'all are having a good day.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Why I Stopped Using (Most) GIF Memes

I don't know if you guys have noticed that I've stopped using many GIF memes (especially Disney related; which I loved). I was once nominated for a Catholic blog award for best memes because they were pretty awesome. I was amongst the first to use them (when everyone else was using simple, unanimated pictures) and now I'll be amongst the first to stop. Why? Simple: copyright issues.

I've heard that certain people/companies (including Disney) are cracking down on unauthorized use of images. It's hard to stop everyone but they're certainly trying (with whispers of lawsuits against tumblr -- aka GIF heaven -- making rounds). Movie and TV show GIFs are the most commonly used... and the ones that the rights holders really don't want to you use. Using a picture/gif of a scene from a movie without permission... on a Catholic blog? Yeah, let's just avoid lawsuits... I'm poor as it is.

I do still use memes, but these are either credit, reblogged on tumblr by those who own the images/shows/movies (mostly web series -- I mostly use those from Emma Approved and The Lizzie Bennet Diaries as the use of gifs seems encouraged by those who own Pemberley Digital), or the movies that are fair use / aren't copyrighted (I have a ton of pre-1926 movie gifs in stock; I love Harold Lloyd movie memes).

If you want to go there (and I know some of you do), you can also argue that copyright violations (aka using without permission) is also considered a sin. Maybe not a mortal sin, but definitely a venial sin. I'm not saying this is correct as I, myself, am not sure whether this is correct but I've certainly heard the argument. Just putting it out there so some of you can look it up if you wish to learn more about that; I'll definitely look it up as well. As a writer, I know that I'd be personally miffed if someone posted my books for free without permission so I'm definitely looking at this issue from both sides.

Anyway, this is just something I've been wanting to write about lately because of the explosion of gif memes that I've seen across the Catholic blogging world. Be careful, y'all... some people are sue happy.

Alright, I am going to finish eating and then go do other productive things that are still on my Wunderlist to-do list. :D

I hope y'all are doing well and having a great week thus far. Halfway to the weekend! Whoo!

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Little Steps

Today I drove to the Cathedral in downtown L.A. It may not seem like a big deal to most of you but when you've had anxiety/panic disorder for half of your life, it's a huge deal. It took me quite a while since I don't live near the downtown area (hello for the suburbs!) and I got there using all streets; I have yet to find a legitimate reason to take the freeway.

On the way there, I was a little nervous but I didn't have any crippling anxiety. I had planned my route using Google Maps and I've grown up in L.A. so I don't get lost very easily. With that confidence I drove out to get myself a St. Brigid of Ireland Tiny Saint to hang out with the Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati Tiny Saint that I carry next to my keys. Yes, when I'm motivated, I can achieve things. Did I get it? Yes, along with a couple more for one of my best friends. As I drove back home, I couldn't help feeling proud of myself.

It's so easy to believe the lies that you can't do anything. I've heard it before. "Oh, Emmy can't do this because of her anxiety." "Emmy needs help because..." "Yeah, Emmy can't..." Luckily for me, anytime someone says that I can't do something that I know I'm capable of, I get determination to prove them wrong. Learning how to drive, getting my license, driving to places "far" from my apartment... all of these things are goals that I have proven that I can do despite others underestimating me.

I know a lot of people find this blog because of search terms such as "anxiety and Catholicism." In fact, that was partly why I opened this blog 7 years ago; I wanted to show others that having anxiety was nothing to be ashamed about. Stereotypes be darned. They haven't defined me and they don't define anyone who is going through it.

I hope that posts like this show others going through the same thing (anxiety/panic disorder) that it is possible to overcome these kinds of obstacles. If you were to ask my mom if she ever thought it was possible for me to drive, she would honestly tell you "no." No one believed I would eventually conquer the fear to do it. Just remember that when people say "no" to something important, God often says "yes."

Anyway, just a quick little post I wanted to share 'cause I'm honestly so stinking proud of myself. :D Naysayers say whaaat?! lol.

I hope you all had a great Monday (yes, I know Mondays are a punk butt) and have a great rest of week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

Anemia and Missed Mass

I am currently sitting on my bed, laptop on my lap, with Love by the Book (Hallmark's latest movie; I'm a sucker for these movies) playing in the background, eyes groggy, and feeling unhappy that I missed Mass this morning.

I woke up at 5:30 a.m. (to get ready for the 6:45 a.m. Mass) but I felt terrible. Stomach queasiness and some weakness/fatigue. Back to sleep. Up a while later, still feeling off. Back to sleep. Woke up in time for the last English Mass of the day... only to feel weak (heaviness in muscles) and really off. For the next hour or so, I felt the same -- weak/heaviness, fatigue, groggy eyes (which I still have), and a bit of shortness of breath. 

I worried for a while. "Why am I feeling this way? This is kind of scary. What's going on?" I did the Memorare prayer 3-4 times, asking Mama Mary for help to illuminate my mind. Did I have to go to the ER? Was it anxiety related? I got the idea to look up the symptoms on Google (a big "no no" if you have anxiety/panic disorder) and I found the cause pretty quickly: anemia. All the symptoms I have (and have had this past week) are all anemia related. My anxiety levels went down... and a new determination set in.

I hate missing Mass. If you've read this blog long enough you know that I am reduced to tears most of the time that I can't attend Mass. I say "most of the time" because sometimes I understand that, no matter how hard I try, my body just doesn't cooperate with me... and I know that God loves me regardless. Most of the time, though, I cry because I get frustrated. All I want to do is attend Mass! Why can't I just attend Mass?

Recently I've been "okay" with the fact that my health stinks because I know that it's forced me to slow down and reevaluate things. I was a healthy child and teenager. I rarely got sick and, when I did, it was never too bad... however, I developed a slew of crummy habits and was heading down the wrong path. I will say that I didn't do anything like drinking, drugs, or sleeping around but I was still doing stupid things I regret.

I got anxiety as a teenager (at 15). That forced me to redirect my path. I learned to live with it... and then I was hit with a bad breakdown at 21 that, in the end, resulted in my return to the Church. That put me on the right path. In the past year, I had gotten a handle on my stomach issues and I was thriving in terms of not having anxiety... then I was hit with low platelets (and, lately) anemia.

 I know this (minus the platelets) was brought on by poor nutrition (seriously, I was eating junk) and not taking care of myself for several years (I always put others before myself). I know that this is a good thing because, even though I feel exhausted and blah most days, it's forcing me to finally take care of myself and my needs. Most importantly, it's also giving me the chance to improve my relationship with God. I was so busy and focused on other things that my prayer life took a backseat to everything else. So, thanks for this anemia... but, seriously, why can't I just go to Mass?!

I hope to make it to Mass during the week but I've been trying for weeks without success. Last Sunday I was falling asleep in Mass but I made it. This week... nope. If any of you have any suggestions (besides red meat, lentils, leafy greens, liver, beans, iron-enriched cereals) for anemia, please send them my way. My stomach couldn't handle the iron pills the doctor gave me so... suggestions are welcomed. I'm also going to be selfish and ask for prayers because it's sometimes hard just to make it through the day with the fatigue and/or shortness of breath. 

Anyway, those are my thoughts for now.

I hope y'all had a great weekend and have a wonderful week. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D

 

Questions about the Will and Lina Series

I've gotten some questions regarding the Will and Series. Mostly "is Will based on *insert guy's name*?" or "Was *insert chapter* hard to write?" So, for Valentine's Day, I've decided to answer as many questions (or, at least, the top 5-10 questions) asked about the series. As for why I picked Valentine's Day as the day... is it spoiler-y? *shrugs* Was it just a day that I picked because London Calling is my favorite novel I've written? Maybe. ;)

Yes, this is the reason why When Two Worlds Collide was on sale for a week up until yesterday and why London Calling is currently on sale for only 99 cents on Kindle. (side note: the sale will end in a week so get it on sale while you can.) You want to know anything about the series? I'm going to give you guys a chance to ask. No question will go unanswered... unless it's wildly inappropriate.

If you want to ask any questions, you can do so by leaving the question up on the Will and Lina series FB page, this blog's FB page, or over on Twitter. You have until February 12th to send me your questions.

Here's a sneak peak of the kinds of questions (and answers) you can expect:

"Are any of the characters based on people you know in real life?"
The short answer: Yes, some characters were based (even in little ways) on people who are/were in my life but more than half of them weren't; my imagination just really got into the writing process.

The long answer:
When Two Worlds Collide
Not based on anyone:
Will, David, Matt, Mrs. Zamora, Odysseus (Odi), Mr. Alonso, Mrs. Alonso, Audrey, and Aiden.

Loosely based on real people:
Lina, Stella, Mikayla, Candace, Mr. Zamora, and Professor Normandy.

London Calling
Not based on anyone (new characters): 
Ethan, Mrs. Alden, Sofia, Henry, Kieran, Ella, Michael, Tom, and Aunt Lizzy.

Loosely based on real people (new characters):
Blake and Stephanie.

There you go. Have more questions? Just ask. ;)

And that's it for now. I have a couple of things to catch up on (mainly: reading and snail mail... and errands).

I hope y'all are doing well. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless. :D