Friday, February 6, 2015

Words of Affirmation

With Valentine's Day coming up next week (and a not so positive message I received this morning), I've been thinking a lot about words of affirmation. According to the 5 Love Languages test, I scored the highest in quality time followed by words of affirmation the first time I took it and words of affirmation followed by quality time the second time around. *shrugs* I enjoy both but I think that it's words that affect me the most.

I hate to admit it but I'm very much the type of person who gets hurt easily by someone's words. I'm sensitive (always have been) so whenever someone says something that I feel was uncalled or (especially) unjust, it weighs heavily on me. Sometimes I want to talk to friends about something that is bothering me but I hate that I can't talk to certain people because I know that their words will unintentionally make me feel worse.

One of the biggest things I've had to learn is to not let others comments affect me. It's gotten much better on social media but it's still a big obstacle with my close group of friends. I think I'm always positive when talking to someone else about their problems because that's how I'd like to be treated. Not necessarily sugar coating it, but being more positive and looking for the silver lining. I don't always get that and it's something I need to learn how to deal with because not everyone is going to be nice and/or helpful. Negative Nellies will always (unfortunately) exist.

All of this reminds me of how my own words affect others. I know when to open my mouth and when to keep it shut, but I sometimes slip. I'm human and sometimes I'm cranky or tired and I don't think before I speak. I apologize and feel bad about it but I do try to be conscious of what I'm saying. I try to remember this when others reply to me in a not-so-nice or positive tone. We all have our bad days but I think it's important to try to still try to be more positive in our words when dealing with others.

Lately, one of my friends brought up the wounds of a scourged Jesus... which made me think about the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary (which are the mysteries we're meditating on today). When I get to the second Sorrowful Mystery (the scourging), I reflect on how Jesus endured all that pain for the sins of others... including my future actions and words. When the crown of thorns was placed on His head, they spat on him and mocked him. They used words to inflict more pain on him. Then I think of all the vile things -- untrue and unjust -- that were said to and of Him and it opens up the waterworks in me. Just thinking about this makes me want to try harder to give more words of affirmation to those in my life (and even those I barely know on social media).

Some people have tougher skin than others but that doesn't mean that the words still don't affect them. They may not show it or even admit it, but words hurt. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Um, nope. Words still hurt.

This is my challenge for the weekend (which you are all invited to partake in if you'd like): use more words of affirmation, even when the situation seems bad. There's already so much negativity in this world... why should I contribute to it? Answer: I shouldn't. If nothing positive can be said, mouth is staying shut. The Liverpool vs Everton match is going to be a test for me because I'm kind of snarky during football matches. lol.

Anyway, I should go get some snail mail letters written so they can be mailed today. :)

I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend! :D

As always, thanks for reading and God bless! :D


Cammie Wollner said...

Reading this post made me think that using more words of affirmation and encouraging others would be a wonderful resolution for Lent this year! I think I need to add it to the top of the list I've been trying to put together.

And I totally understand what you're describing because I'm a Words of Affirmation and Quality Time person too (although I think Quality Time comes out slightly on top).

Sonia said...

How cool. I've been thinking you have the choice to destroy or build, and definitely keeping the mode in my life this time round.I also want to make affirmation and encouragement my Lent (Wollner.) I get so much help from your blog, I like the person you are and the person I can be. I use to remember the Coronation of Jesus to endure not opening my mouth. I miss the Rosary so much and the person I use to be. Your Blog made me feel not alone in the way I wanted to be, now it's a momento. I'm Super happy to remember your words of affirmation. Your challeng definitely will guid me on enduring my mouth shut than enduring having opened it, I've been pleading God and Mary strength for that. It's shaming to apologize to God all the time for offending him, hurting others and failing to compliment. How I stumbled on your blog is super special to me only to be beaten by who you are.Thank you. I'm glad God haves people like you to delight on.

Sonia said...

P.S S S S. I tell you my shame so you know how greatful I am. Now I do need the fake sunglasses. ;^)