Wednesday, May 28, 2014

What I Learned Wednesday #33: Trust, St. Catherine of Genoa, and a Chaplet

I know, I haven't written in over a week. I have at least one major exam per week and a ton of reading and homework to do so that's my excuse. lol. Sorry but I'm basically doing grad level work (or so I was told) in my pre-grad program so I don't have a lot of free time. I'm making time for this post though. :)

So what have I learned since my last WILW post?

I've been trying to let things go and trying to trust God more. As someone who has suffered from anxiety disorder since she was 15 years old (almost half of my life thus far), it's been hard to not worry or to not try to do everything possible in order to not get a bad experience. A lot of times I want to revert to my old self because it's safe and comfortable but I don't. I'm not letting anxiety get the best of me anymore. I still get anxiety from time to time (and it's been a particular pain in the tush the past two days) but I've learned (thanks to both my spiritual director and my PTSD therapist) to stop it in its tracks so that I don't get derailed. While I'm driving or out, anxiety begins to creep out for whatever reason but I take a deep breath and say "nope, not this time; Lord, I trust in You" and keep going on with whatever I was doing. My SD has been drilling this idea (to let go and trust God despite what I may be feeling) into my head for months now and it's finally sticking. That's nearly 13 years old fears and terrible habits that I'm undoing. I still have a long way to go but I know I'll get there with the help of God, my SD, and some saintly intercessions. :)

Lesson (is being) learned: It's better to simply trust God instead of trying to control outcomes and/or worrying about things that may or may not happen.

I'll admit that I haven't read much on St. Catherine of Genoa just yet but what I have learned about her has hit really close to home. Not to say that I endured what she did through a husband (I've never been married) but I've had someone in my life who reminds me of her husband. Without going into detail, I will say that it was not a romantic relationship and that the actions and his later conversion of St. Catherine's husband reminded me so much of that of person. Furthermore, her own personal interior struggles in letting her spiritual director "in" is something I've been working through with my own (very patient and wonderful) spiritual director. This goes back to the whole issue of my learning to trust God. I'm not there yet but I'm slowly getting there. As I said earlier this month, I had never heard of her before the dream I had but I'm so happy that she came up when she did.

Lesson learned: we can learn a lot from the lives of saints. I also have a new saint who inspires me to keep working hard towards my goal of living a more saintly life... and wearing my mantilla more often. St. Catherine of Genoa is a patron for those who are ridiculed for their piety so it works.

As I mentioned in my last 7 Quick Takes post, I recently learned about the Chaplet of St. Michael the Archangel and I absolutely love it. The chaplet is a bit different than the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy (which I actually prayed before I finished writing this blog post) but it's so lovely. I love the idea of having an escort of nine angels chosen from each of the nine Choirs accompanying me when receiving Holy Communion. Did you know that was attached to this chaplet? Well, now you do! I have yet to figure out when I will be able to do this (because my day is mostly spent studying/reading) but you can bet that I'm going to try to get into the habit of reciting this chaplet daily.

Lesson learned: there are still a lot of great chaplets, novenas, and prayers out there and all are worth giving a shot. Also, I've inherited my mother's love of angels. 

Well, that's it for now. I need to get back to the salt mines.

I hope y'all are having a great week thus far. 

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless! :D

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