That's right... I'm getting better! Of course, I'm a sinner (we all are) but my little vacation from the 'net has proven to be the best decision I've made lately. :D I'll admit that I am not completely offline (wouldn't be updating this blog if I was ;D) and I am keeping in touch with one of my best friends/soul sister, Angelica, as we're working on something together but I have disconnected myself from all other socializing. I do miss tweeting and interacting with friends on Twitter and FB but it's been for the better. Though I slept a total of 16-17 hours yesterday (yeah, anxiety's not been kind to me lately), I've still been able to spend my time reading books that are good for my soul as well as meditating on my relationship with God, which is improving.
I've been doing the Novena of the Seven Gifts (though I am a day off as I started it late) and it's been an incredible experience for me. It's really gotten me to think about what is important and what I (now) know needs to be changed. The changes will not be easy (but the things that are good for us aren't always easy) and it'll take a lot of strength on my part but I am willing to do it in order to strengthen my relationship with God. :) I can't even begin to tell y'all how wonderfully I've felt taking time to better that relationship. I can't describe how much I love God nor how close I currently feel to Him at the moment. It's almost as if, by taking this nerd's vacation, God said "You're taking this seriously, aren't you? Okay, I am here. What's on your mind?" In the past couple of days (despite the anxiety issues), I've felt like He's been helping me through the spiritual roadblock I'd been trying to get around for weeks. It might be a little silly, but I feel like He's listening (really listening) to everything I may want to talk about, anything that's been bothering me. One of the most important things is that I'm getting better and letting things go and trusting Him to provide with what is necessary. It's not always easy but I'm getting better at it. :)
One additional perk about the nerd vacation? Less sinning! Since I've been on my Twitter and FB break, I've found myself avoiding little things that caused me to have uncharitable thoughts or words about certain people or things. Trash talking during football (soccer) matches has been cut down (to the point where not a single mean word was uttered) and I was able to enjoy my Gold Cup matches (btw, go USMNT!!!!) like I did when my dad was still alive and I was the one who told him to be more charitable with his words. lol. I've also been able to step back and see how some of my friendships (both online and in real life) were affecting me with the negativity even when it was not directed at me. I've come to realize that I am happiest when I surround myself with people who try to not act negatively (or superior) and/or who are able to control their words and actions. Of course we all slip from time to time but I've been able to see who makes a genuine effort to stop it and to not offend God (or, really, who have taken responsibility for their actions) and who I will need to pray for because it's not good for anyone involved. I never knew how much I was personally affected by some of the words some of my friends had for people they (and I did) don't agree with. I still maintain my position that even your worst enemies deserve to be treated with some sort of respect (if only because God loves us all and treating a fellow human being rudely is not very Christian like) and I was reminded of that.
To put everything I just wrote in a nutshell: I'm SO happy with how my nerd vacation is going. I feel closer to God (and I've thought about how maybe the anxiety forced to stop and take the time to repair the relationship) and it's so exciting. Many things that I was unsure of are now becoming clear. Anything I was doubting is being answered. And the sinning I had fallen into (which I don't know how I ever got caught in it) has been made clear so I may stop it (or at least attempt to). YAY! I think this calls for a celebratory dance! Anyone who wants to join me is free to do so. Dancing experience is not necessary. ;)
Anyway, this Mexico v.s. Cuba Gold Cup match is coming up in about an hour and I want to spend some time in prayer before it so I guess this will be it for now. :D I greatly appreciate the prayers y'all have sent me way. They've certainly helped me start this vacation off right. :D Y'all are the best! :D
I hope your week has been great and that the upcoming weekend (Pentecost Sunday to less) will be wonderful.
As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!