No, not Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice (though y'all should not be surprised with the picture I chose. lol).
My twitter chat with @CatholicDan this morning reminded me of something I talked to our newest parish priest about last weekend... my new struggle with pride. I don't think, and I hope I'm right, I've ever had problems with pride before but it's just one of the things (that I hate) that have come up since attending this school. (And I say "this school" because I'm currently sitting in the cafeteria, waiting for my Math class to begin.)
This is kind of like a sequel to my last post about going through a possible late rebellion. Sometimes, I'm so sure of what I know to be true (see? I'm already doing it) that I sit in the front row and openly make a face to show my disagreement with a professor's statement. I don't think I have all the answers, because I don't... not by a long shot, but I occasionally think I know the answers (or at least those leading to the truth) in comparison to my professors. Hello Pride, didn't see you sneaking up on me. Please go away. Now. The new parish priest (who is so new I don't remember his name, sorry!) told me to be a little more humble when I have these thoughts passing my mind. I am thankful that I do catch myself before I go down this path, and even more so after talking to the priest, but I do slip up. I don't mean to but I'm human and I do make these mistakes.
Last week wasn't as bad as the first two weeks back but I did have one or two "ugh, you're so wrong!" moments. I need to remind myself that if I do have the right answers and do know the truth, that I can share it with my classmates in a way that doesn't look like I'm trying to show off. I'm not, despite to contrary beliefs of some classmates who think I am "holier than thou"... because I pray before I eat and go to the chapel to pray when time allows. I'm sorry, I didn't know these things were done to show I'm "better" than others... because I'm clearly not nor do I ever think so.
I have seriously begun to look into transferring because I'm slowly losing the battle. I don't like the person I'm slowly becoming. I don't like that I am being proud and occasionally prejudice (I have decided not to participate in Campus Ministry despite majoring in Religious Studies). I don't like that my professors are shoving the liberal, feminist agenda down our throats more than ever. I don't like that I have been embarrassed by professors in front of classmates for trying to get them to clear some Biblical things for us. I am not happy. At all. I do still get a kick when I occasionally stump them but those moments are becoming less frequent when they pull the "I know more you do, so shut up" card on me. Again, I know they know more than I do, but I still think that telling us that homosexuality is of God and that God just wants us to be happy (hinting that if we want to go ahead and have a homosexual relationship it's totally fine). Oh and hell doesn't exist either. I mean, seriously? I don't know, I'm about to throw in the towel because this place is really bringing out the worst in me and it makes me want to cry.
Alright, I should go read a bit in one of the books that I cringe at. lol. I hope y'all have a great week.
As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!