Saturday, July 24, 2010

Personal Reflection: Confession

I absolutely LOVE going to confession, so much so that I go almost every weekend or at least every other week... or whenever I've committed a venial sin. The majority of the time it's just venial sins that have the priests asking me why I go confess them so often. For me, personally, I just feel better having no sins (no matter how "small" they are) on my conscience. I am very much like St. Teresa of Avila that way (though I am still working on reaching her level of sanctity... and have a long road ahead of me.) It's not so much that I just don't want to feel guilty for what I've done; I just want to show that I'm truly sorry for what I've done. I can get very emotional in the confessional because I am truly repentant about what I've done. I do not feel right having offended God in any way. I don't like being away from God in any way. Knowing that I am in danger of not spending eternity with God in heaven because I failed to confess something or because I did something reprehensible makes me incredibly unhappy.

I've gotten into the habit of taking an hour to examine my conscience before going to confession. I go to the quietest room I can find in the house, pray that St. Gerard Majella helps open my heart to God so that I may properly examine my conscience (he's the patron saint for a good confession) and use the iConfess app on my iPod touch. If I know I will forget something (and I usually do), I write it down so that I will be able to confess it. I feel so calm and at peace by the end that go in both respectful of the sacrament that I am about to receive as well as grateful for God's mercy. I know that I am only human and that I commit errors more than I would like but knowing that I can clear my conscience by owning up to my mistakes in front of God makes me happy.

My mother always says she will not confess whenever I go to confession but she always comes with me and always ends up going to confession as well. lol. It's something I never got to experience with my father but that I am overjoyed to share with my mother. I am still trying to teach her (sounds bad, I know) how to have a proper confession but it's an easier hill to conquer than the mountain of obstacles I had with my father.

I've been blessed enough to help (in a sense) convince others to go to confession for the first time in many years. I don't know what it is about me but I seem to attract older people who hadn't gone to confession in decades. I don't mind it one bit either. :) A lot of the time I am just in line when I get an older lady or gentleman asking me about confession. Somehow it opens the flood gate and they end up telling me their life story. About a few months before my father returned to the Church, I had an older lady who sort of pulled me aside and told me that she hadn't gone to confession in over 40 years (same as my father). She told me her fears and I told her the same thing I basically tell everyone whom I speak to: just open their hearts to God and let him in. The priests are not judgmental and they are there to help absolve us from our sins as well help us get back on the right path. Of course what I say varies from person to person but I try to help them any way I can. If I can, in any small way, help them get closer to God than nothing will make me happier as I am here to serve Him. I may not speak about confession in a grander or more "theologically sound" way but, if you haven't noticed, I tend to write straight from my heart... if it isn't with simpler words. :)

Alright, that is it for now. I want to get a little work on my novel before I head to confession today. I have two more posts planned that may take me a couple of days to get up. I am waiting for something in the mail before I can break the news (with pictures) and the other, well, I am working on and I am waiting to see results before I say anything. :) As I am now in my last month of vacation before the new semester at my new college begins, I will try to update more often. :)

That's it for now. I hope y'all have a lovely weekend.

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless!


Milisande Awnia Grim said...

I love going to confession! I feel so confused and disorganized when i sin. God just helps me clean the room in my heart for him. :D

Bernard Untalan said...

It's wonderful that you "absolutely LOVE confession". It's a powerful sacrament and is certainly in need of more positive fanfare. I don't often run into Catholics who are enthusiastic about the Sacrament of Penance, and the sentiment among my protestant and atheist/agnostic friends ranges from benign confusion and curiosity to scathing reproach. The sacraments are designed to be means of salvation, it's sad that so many people are robbing themselves of a degree of holiness that cannot be reached without the special grace this sacrament confers. Anyways, thanks for sharing your insight and experience!

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful blog post...confession is SO wonderful and we should definitely take advantage of all the grace and forgiveness we receive through it! It's very inspiring that you take an hour to examine your conscience beforehand; that's definitely something i need to make more time for. Usually I'm in a rush and neglect to really take a look at everything. God bless+

Emmy Cecilia said...

Milisande - Agreed. I don't feel at ease until I confess.

Bernard - I think a lot of people are just worried about judgment or chastisement from priests but they should be more worried about offending God with their words and actions.

Becks - Thanks. :D I definitely recommend the iConfess app (if you had an iPhone or iPod touch) before going to confession.