Friday, March 19, 2010

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Breaking up is hard to do... especially when it's with someone or something that you've had in your life for a really long time. This week I've broken up with my bad habits.

For months I've been trying to shake habits I have detested, but have had, since I was a child. I could go weeks (even months) without doing any of them but then I slip when I'm not conscience thinking about what I am doing. Trust me, I sometimes act without thinking and that's when these pesky habits come out thus making me start all over. Since I've had these habits for twenty years now (sounds like I'm old, but as I said I started early on these) and since I want to start my 25th year on a positive note, I decided to break up with these darn habits that are going to keep me back from what I want to accomplish.

None of this is going to be easy. Just like with most break ups, it's going to be hard. I may to cry (mostly out of frustration if I slip) and bake mini cakes to eat in depression (I substitute cake for ice cream). I may be tempted to fall back into its charm (though, thankfully, it has none) but I'm putting my foot down. Enough is enough and I will not allow these things to hold me back any longer. I just have to remind myself that by eliminating these habits (like over-analyzing everything and being a big ol' worrywart) I will be able to better control my anxiety and that I'll be able to pursue and finish all I want to do.

Of course, I will substitute the bad habits with good ones so that the transition is much easier on me. One of them will be making a habit of praying when I feel the urge to start worrying about things. It's kind of funny that as optimistic and as accepting of God's will as I am, I still worry quite a bit. I think some of my worries are justified at times but I really should nip some of the more negative ones in the bud. It's gotten easier as I've gotten older but I still need to get rid of that habit. I am also going to try to go to daily Mass in the morning to help me with my habit of going to bed at 3 a.m. and then waking up really late in the morning or afternoon. I believe a lot of my poor time management has been because of this problem.

Now that Lent is ending, I hope to be able to do all of this so I can have one good confession in which I can finally confess some of these bad habits for the last time. :)

Alright, I think that is long enough for today. I really want to shorten the entries so y'all don't have to read much. I know how busy we've all gotten lately. :D

As always, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D


Kathryn said...

Good for you! :)

Elizabeth Dorthalina said...

Hi Emmy, I feel as if I know you. You are describing my own experiences over the last few months which have been amplified during this Lent. Something that helps me get through is that, every time I slip or fall, and feel the pain, I offer it up to our Lord for a person or special intention. That way, I do not suffer in vain and it brings joy into my life for making that sacrifice. I hope you have a good priest or spiritual director who can help you through this time, that is what has made all the difference for me. I will keep you in my prayers as I walk this road with you. Blessings sister.