Sunday, December 28, 2008

Darn Anxiety!; Clean-a-Thon '08

This darn anxiety's been bugging me lately. In the past couple of days, it's gotten worse. I've had my first blown attack in months. I didn't even make it through Mass today because of how bad my anxiety was. The important thing is that I tried. I went to Mass, mid-panic attack, because I was determined to be there... even if I was there only a minute or two. I toughed it out only 15 minutes when I felt very lightheaded and like I was about to faint. Bah. :( As I told a friend of mine, earlier in the day, I just have to look at this as a little trial God's placed before me that will only make me a stronger person once it's over. I had so many things planned today and they'll have to take a backseat to this darn anxiety until I get better. I will... eventually. :D I kept saying that I would endure my anxiety for souls in purgatory. It's my suffering and I'll offer it as I wish. lol. Hopefully I'll be able to get a few things done tomorrow morning-afternoon, while I still can. I have the big clean-a-thon to do tomorrow through Wednesday.

Ah, yes... the clean-a-thon. I do this every year between the 27th and the 31st. I go through every single thing I own and throw away, file, or donate things I no longer need/want. I do it all by myself. It's a tradition I started in my late teens. There hasn't been a year I haven't done it. Last year I got through it very slowly because of my anxiety and lack of strength (had to have my dad move my heavy wooden desk for me). Despite the darn anxiety, I feel better than I did around this time last year so hopefully I'll get it done in two days. :D

That's it for now. Very short, eh? Yes, well, unfortunately, I'm very tired. It's still early but the Seven Blossoms tea I drank for my anxiety always has this effect on me. Yes, the Seven Blossoms tea is good for anxiety. Haven't had any since I drank it. I am, however, sleepy. So yeah. :D If you don't get a post from me until the 31st, it's because I'll be busy with the clean-a-thon. Hopefully I'll get done pretty quickly... and that I am able to do a special I have planned for this blog. :D

Oh, and a quick prayer request, if y'all can please pray for me. I've been feeling pretty crummy lately. That and my fingernails have started turning a purple-ish/blue color which is apparently lack of oxygen or something equally scary. I won't be able to see the doctor for another month so... please pray that it gets better and goes away or that I have the strength to wait until the end of January to have it looked at. Thanks. :D

Hope everyone had a great weekend. :D 'Til next time, thank you for reading and God Bless. :D

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