Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Ch-Ch-Changes and Lent

My goodness, so much has happened in the last couple of days that all the plans I had have just dramatically changed. I do have writing in my near future, but the novel has been put on hold in favor of another project that has re-surfaced. Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in. lol. It's good though. It's great writing experience for me and it'll definitely help me when I am go back to my book. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited about this change of plans. I don't think I've ever been as giddy as I am; at least not for a long time. :D I just hope God gives me strength to be able to complete the project through without any problems (any health problems, at least). I will also learn to give up sleep and other things, like watching football (soccer) matches, until I am done.

Speaking of giving up football matches... that is precisely what I am doing for Lent. After the way Liverpool played today, and have played lately, I won't be missing much. lol. I was thinking about giving up the internet as well but, since the change of plans, I won't be able to do it because I need to do a ton of research. It looks like most, if not all, of Lent will be spent at mass, the library and my home. I was thinking about the fasting portion of Lent (for Ash Wednesday, etc.) but I will have to talk to a priest about that because I can't actually fast. I get pretty sick if I don't eat every 3 hours so, we'll see. Hopefully there is something else I can do on the days we're required to fast.

Yes, this is the end of my blog for today. I'm spending the rest of the evening having quality time with one of my favorite guys, mainly doing research. Pfft. Research shouldn't be as fun as what I'm going to be doing (which is basically watching a bunch of DVDs and taking notes). Oh, yeah... if you see "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson popping up on my Last.Fm counter (shows what I am listening to at the moment; it's on the right side of this post), that is no glitch. It's my new favorite song hence listening to it obsessively. lol. :D Well, 'til next time... thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The City, Dating Advice and the Application Mambo.

I spent a good portion of my day in the city (I live in the suburbs). I got to see my Godmother at her office (she's a lawyer amongst other things), which is always awesome. Even though I'm definitely a city girl, I will never get used to the traffic. My goodness... if I had a penny for every time I've been stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic, I'd be incredibly rich. Not Bill Gates rich but pretty close. lol. For those who have ever been in big cities like New York City or Los Angeles, then you know that the streets are also disgusting -- especially the downtown areas. The smell of pee and other foul odors are the norm... a very nauseating norm but a norm nonetheless. Thankfully, I didn't really have to deal with that at my Godmother's office but *gag* I will never go into another fast food restaurant in (and around) the downtown area. Haha. *shudders* Despite that, I still liked being out in the city because I get to be amongst the chaos... which I sometimes love. I love watching people in business suits walk in and out of offices. I probably love that whole scene because I hope I never have to do that and I'm secretly happy I'm not. lol. A 9-to-5 job, especially in an office, is unappealing to me. My Godmother actually had hopes of me joining her when I graduated college until I took that criminal law course and absolutely hated it. Sorry, I'm more of an artist at heart. :D

One awesome thing I got to experience in that little while I was at my Godmother's office... hanging out with her son (would it be correct to call him my Godbrother?) who also works there. He's so rad; I love him! He, along with my Godmother's other son and daughter (who's also my first communion Godmother), has known me since I was born so I'll always be "the baby." In fact, they still call me that despite the fact that I haven't been a baby for over 2 decades. Every time they talk to my mom they always ask how "the baby" (me) is. lol. Anyway, every year my Godbrother (?) imparts great wisdom on me. This year is was about dating. I'm going to stop there because I don't like talking about my love life. Let's just say that he made me re-evaluate a lot of things and made me realize other things. Overall, SO GLAD he gave me the advice. it's great to be able to talk to someone who's been there-done that (he just got married a few months ago)... especially someone of the opposite sex. Whoo! :D And I also found it a bit ironic all this advice came, out of the blue, at a time when I actually needed to hear it. It has to be a sign. Haha.

Okay, well, it's not too late (it's nearly 10 p.m.) but I've just finished doing the application mambo so I am exhausted. What is the application mambo? For me, it was filling out the re-activation form at my school (because I am taking this semester off), filling out applications to have some transcripts sent to my school, filling out the financial aid forms (FAFSA to my fellow American college students) and just filling out so many applications that ask you the same questions over and over again that you can make a mambo (dance) out of it. lol. And, wow, that has to be the longest run-on sentence in history. Haha. I'm sorry. lol. Since I have to go back into the city tomorrow, I have to get to bed early to get up early in hopes of beating rush-hour traffic. I wonder, is there a patron saint for traffic... or to help avoid traffic? If anyone knows, please leave me a comment with the answer.

That is all for now. Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Storms, Apathetic Neighbors, St. Teresa of Avila and Our Lady sketch.

My internet, cable and phone services were down for nearly 48 hours due to the storm we've been experiencing in Southern California since Monday. I have to admit... I didn't realize how impatient I'd get without it. Not being able to communicate with friends who are off in different parts of the country, and different countries, was tough. Texting and phone calls made it a bit better but for those who's numbers I don't have and needed to talk to... yikes. I do have internet on my cell phone but I can do limited things with it. Bah! Thankfully, everything's working again... though I lost a lot of valuable time (I have deadlines).

What really struck me about the whole incident was that even though all the neighbors also had the same problem, no one bothered to pick up their cell phones and call about the problem. I was the only one. If at least two more people had called, they would've sent someone immediately, the day it had gone down. Unfortunately, most of my neighbors are apathetic towards basically everything. No mail being delivered? No one calls except me. The cable is out? No one says anything except me. It's a little hard to get things done quicker when no one else says anything. This is bordering on me complaining but I don't want to complain. I just think it's not good that no one else cares about anything else that happens in the neighborhood. Don't get me started on how they make noise at all hours of the night... or how they blast their music when you're trying to sleep. I cannot wait until I move out in a few months. lol. :D

Since I had no cable or even basic t.v. I had to rely on DVDs. I started watching this DVD on the personality and prayer of St. Teresa of Avila which is very interesting. I keep finding more and more coincidences that we share (down to the 3 dimples she had and I have). The DVD, and story of her life, has really inspired me to do a lot of things... and change other things about myself. I think it's really cool that I've found a saint that I can identify with even though we're obviously very different and she was a saint and I'm clearly not. lol. Still... I've gotten so excited about learning more about her. That is something I will be doing during Lent... when I am not working on my book.

Ooh, and I FINALLY got a chance to upload my first (rough) sketch of Our Lady of Guadalupe. This sketch has inspired me to write a book for kids. Okay, before you really look at it, let me say it was my first attempt to draw her. Also, I have VERY limited sketching skills (I work better with paint and a brush).

This definitely inspired me to write for kids. Yeah! :D And I apologize for the quality... the scanner didn't do a good job. It's a lot more detailed in person.

Alright, well, I still have a lot of work to do (that I couldn't do because of the outage) and I'm listening to Fr. Roderick's "Catholic Insider" episode he did at a hockey game (he's currently in Canada)... and the podcast is AWESOME! lol. Anyhoo, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Anxiety, Mass and Childhood Friends.

Wow, what an incredibly hectic week I've had. I haven't been able to blog in nearly a week because of everything that's been going on. I don't even know where to begin.

Well, on Monday (which was a holiday here in the States) I ended up in the E.R. because of a massive panic attack I got. Hyperventilating, lightheaded, chest pains, crying -- the whole thing. I'd never gotten one as intense as it before. The best way I can describe it is feeling like I was going to go nuts. Panic attacks don't usually last more than 15 minutes but I somehow got about 2 - 3 in the space of about an hour (and in the middle of the Liverpool v Aston Villa game) so my mom worried and I was taken to the E.R. I spent about 9 hours there before I was released and basically, they already told me what I know... everything that happened last year has begun to surface and I've been feeling extremely anxious because of it. I was relieved to hear that I'm not going crazy and that I am in fact physically healthy. It just sucks to know that it's going to take a couple of weeks to start kicking the anxiety out of my system. Luckily, I'm taking the semester off so I can work on that before I go off to my new school.

And speaking of my new school -- apparently that is a HUGE source of my anxiety, which I never even considered. I've felt okay with the whole thing but apparently it's a bigger stressor than I had realized. Luckily, I've found these lovely counselors that are willing to work with me at a university nearby (and for dirty cheap -- compared to other places -- because I'm a college student) so I'm on the right path to getting better. I am going to have to postpone writing my book, or at least parts of it, for a while because I can't deal with additional stress until I start my therapy sessions.

You know... it's VERY common for people in this part of Southern California to have counselors, therapists and/or psychiatrists. In fact, there's a running joke that everyone and their dog has one. lol. It's very true though. I live in a very drama-filled city so I can see how that "joke" started. In my case, having to deal with my father's cancer (for the second time in 5 years), just coming off illness myself, having to plan my moving away from home, going through the transfer application process, having a heavy courseload (and I do mean HEAVY), and trying to keep this family together... NOT a walk in the park. Oh and I had the absolute worst summer (I took two 5-week courses, with professors who were partially insane, that were super intense) so... yeah. And, actually, this is the first time I've had vacation in a year. I was in school all of '07 (winter and summer included). Everyone who's had to help their parents out with major responsibilities and/or have had way too much on their plate because of things that have come up -- I completely for you and I know how difficult it is. I don't know how some people are able to cope with all of that but power to ya!

I'm very lucky that I know why I'm going through what I'm going and that I'll be able to work on it to get better again. Like the doctor said, I should be thankful that I'm not depressed (I'm a little too happy and joke around too much to be depressed, lol) and I have a great support system in my parents and my best friends. I know I'll be fine; I just need to really work on it and remember that I've dealt with worse things which I was able to overcome. I'm definitely going to be praying a little more than I was, spending a little extra time asking St. Dymphna for her intercession. As I always say, God never throws anything your way that you can't handle.

I was proud of two things while I was at the hospital -- 1) I was able to bring comfort to an older woman and 2) I was able to make people laugh. While we were in the E.R., I befriended this older lady who was maybe in her 80s. She was fine for a while until she started worrying about her surgery. I asked her if she was Catholic and she said she was. I gave her the St. Jude prayer card I had with me. She read it and then wanted to give it back to me but I told her to keep it so she'd have it as a source of comfort. Her daughter saw what I'd done and she thanked me, telling me that they were actually devotees of his. After that, the older woman seemed in better spirits, which made me so happy! That's all I would ever want -- to cheer up someone who was feeling down, despite how I am feeling. I was very happy I was able to make some of the other people laugh too. Apparently, no matter how much pain or how miserable I may be, I can still manage to make people laugh. I hope I never lose that ability.

Okay, I have said enough about what happened on Monday, which I want to put behind me. I ended up missing mass on Sunday AND Monday which makes me very unhappy! I felt icky on Sunday morning but when I was ready on Sunday afternoon-evening, dad had start getting sick so... I had to stay home. It's all a conspiracy to keep me from mass but, pfft, next Sunday I will be there! I HATE missing mass. I don't feel right... and I am perfectly aware it's a mortal sin (although I know it's not as bad if I miss it because I'm sick or because I have to stay home to take care of my dad). Bah! It's back to confession for me on Saturday, too (for missing mass). If anyone ever wonders why I seem to go to confessions almost every week, it's usually because I miss mass due to circumstances beyond my control. That and Liverpool games make me say mean things about refs who don't do their job properly. lol. Bah humbug! Oh wait... that's a Christmas-y saying, isn't it? lol. Well, you get what I mean. :D

Ooh, this is something interesting that happened last night/this morning. I had the most RANDOM dream about this guy I went to school with... when I was 5 - 11 years old! We were friends all through elementary school and when we went off to junior high, that was it. But it was so WEIRD to have a dream about him. Never in a million year would I have thought of him if I had not had that dream. I think I still have some pictures from when we were kids but I'd have to check. Anyway, I wonder why I had the dream... and it's made me very curious to know what he and his sister (who was also a friend of mine) are up to.

I still keep in touch with childhood friends but most everyone has lost track of everyone else. I find it funny that out of the friends I've known since ages 4 - 11, (that I still keep in touch with) only 3 of them are girls and only because my parents see their parents so we send each other hellos and messages through them. All the rest of them, the ones I personally talk to, are guys. The friend I have known the longest still comes and visits when he's in the area. We've known each other since I was 4 and he was 5. I also still keep in touch with my childhood sweetheart (my first 'boyfriend' who I've known since we were 5 years old), as well. He's off in the Navy so I pray that he gets back home soon to because I'm sure his wife misses him terribly. Thinking about it, it's so WEIRD to think that most of my childhood friends are married, with kids or engaged. Only one of the guys and I are still single. I know it's part of growing up but it's just funny because everyone thought I'd be the first to get married and have kids and I'm the last one. lol. I'm serious. Being the hopeless romantic, everyone pretty much bet I would be the first to marry (and as young as 17). I should've bet a lot of money that I would be the last. lol. While I do have someone I care about, everyone's gonna have to wait quite a while longer before they have my (potential) wedding as an excuse to have a reunion. :D

Yikes, I've written way too much. Sorry, I'm just making up for the last 5 days. Hopefully this will be the longest entry I'll ever write. I will go back to my shorter entries next time. :D

Anyhoo, if you've made it this far... have an imaginary cookie or go get yourself a real one as a reward. If you know me personally, come over and I'll make you cookies. :D lol. Thanks for reading and God Bless.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Spring Weather, Chemo News and Childhood (Nun) Dreams.

Today we had BEAUTIFUL Spring weather... in winter. lol. You have to love Southern California weather! It's been warm (but very windy) the past couple of days but today was the perfect combination of cool breezy wind, warmth, sun, and a cloudless blue sky. It's making me wish it was Spring already... and not just because my birthday's in Spring. lol. I am so happy my alarm didn't go off yesterday forcing to do run some errands today. I felt very happy driving around the city, the sun making me feel warm and slighty fuzzy (haha). I hope tomorrow we get a similar day because I'm going to be out quite a bit again. *happy sigh* I love this kind of weather... even though it gets freezing as soon as the sun goes down. lol. :D

I am VERY excited that both my dad and one of my best girl friends are almost done with their chemo! WHOO! Dad has about 7 milligrams of cancer left in his system (it'd spread to his lungs and also pancrease, I think -- I really didn't know it had spread until recently) so he's almost out. My friend also has her last chemo soon! All I have to say is THANK GOD! Thank God and thanks to everyone who prayed for my dad's recovery!! Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much!! *relieved* Now, I'm even more determined to keep all the promises I made for my dad's recovery.

I was talking with my mom today and I asked her if I wanted to be a nun when I was little (I have a faint memory of me saying I did). She said I kept saying that when I grew up I was going to be a nun and that was that. lol. I also brought up this topic with one of my best friends -- about how I haven't completely ruled out this vocation. While I very much want to have a family (a baby or two and a caring, Catholic -- must be Catholic! -- husband) it doesn't necessarily mean it'll happen. Though I have yet to really research and look into the vocation, I've always liked the idea of being a nun. Again (and to sound slight broken record-ish), I want a family but will always have it in the back of my mind if things don't work out for me... that is, if after I research it, and after I get done with my Religion Studies bachelor's degree, I still think it would be a good step for me.

Okay, well, I hate to make this blog uber short (and wait a bit longer to write about my plans/news) but I was supposed to be in bed an hour ago (haha, oops!). I am going to morning confessions because I'll be busy during the afternoon and evening... and thus, I need to sleep early for my busy day. For now... thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Daily Breakfast; Hours at Clinic = Sheer Boredom.

I actually woke up late to go to the first clinic so, meh, will have to go tomorrow. Totally not my fault -- my alarm just didn't go off and without it, I sleep through almost anything. lol. Since I woke up late and didn't have my doctor's appointment at the other clinic (both are for different things) until 2 p.m., I got online and watched Fr. Roderick do a live recording of The Daily Breakfast on uStream. It was a lot of fun to watch, and participate, in the pre-recording of it. We get a chance to interact with other fans, and with Fr. Roderick, by using the chatroom. I got a kick when he mentioned a few things I typed into the chatroom. Oh, the technology! A few years ago that wouldn't have been possible but with technology now, almost anything is possible. :D Anyhoo, if you haven't checked out one of this podcasts, I would definitely recommend it. I'm subscribed to a few on iTunes so I never miss an episode (which are made on an almost daily basis). You can check out all different types of Catholic related podcasts he and others make at SQPN.

Moving from something awesome to something that's pretty awesome but freaking boring... I did make it to my second doctor's appointment but I was there from 1:50 p.m. and I didn't get home until a few minutes 'til 7 p.m. *hits forehead with palm* It was sooooo boring towards the end. It was awesome for the first hour because the doctor deemed me (besides the cold... yes, it's a cold like I suspected) completely healthy. I'm even back at my normal weight from before I got sick so... whoo. Haha. I do feel dizzy and all but she says it's still because of the stress and anxiety I had last year. Meh! That is why I'm going to the other clinic tomorrow -- because they specialize in stress and anxiety issues. Hopefully I won't have to wait hours like I did at today's clinic. Anyway, waiting in line just to get medication was a pain in my tush! It's worth it but, oy! At least I did manage to make some people laugh in line. :D Oh yes, I was back to my old dorky self and I made quite a few people laugh. Apparently I'm witty. *shrugs* I made two little kids giggle too, which always makes my day. Little kids laughing has to be one of the sweetest things you'll ever experience. :D Oh, and something that I managed to do... I found out who was Catholic simply by saying I was going to get home and ask St. Anthony to help me find a paper I need. The few people who laughed totally got what I meant (St. Anthony is the patron saint of lost things). Whoo! lol.

Another bummer thing... I KNEW I was going to miss the postman who was bringing me a book I ordered on Catholicism. I KNEW IT! I told my dad early in the morning, "With my luck, I'll have to go to the post office tomorrow to pick it up because I won't be home to receive it." And that is exactly what happened. I did get a Netflix movie (6 HOURS and 4 minutes -- yikes!) on the life and work of St. Teresa of Avila but no book. Hmph. Well, at least I got something. Still, I love getting mail so having to wait longer... not so good. lol.

I have a lot more to write -- including big plans/news I'm going to unleash into the world this weekend -- but it'll all have to wait until I am feeling better. I feel fine... just sooo sleepy (I've only slept a few hours in the past 48 hours), my eyelids are about to close. So, I'm going to snuggle up with my pillow and blanket and hope to have one of those awesome saint dreams. For now... thanks for reading and God Bless.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Writer's Block and Doing the Sign of the Cross While Sleeping.

Why is it that every time I start to write a book (or screenplay) I go through like a week or two worth of Writer's Block? Well, no... I take that back. It isn't so much writer's block as it is procrastination. Every single time it's the same thing. I write a page or two then don't write anything for weeks. It's such a horrible habit. When one of my best friends asked me when it was due to be finished I had to set a deadline for myself or else it'll never get done. My self-appointed deadline is the day before Easter. I am aiming to have the novel done and edited (and re-edited) by then. It'll definitely not be easy -- especially since I'm still picking and choosing which things to include and which to leave out -- but I love a challenge. It's very easy for me to just write and write... it's the whole getting started thing that's always the tricky part. Once I get the first 10 pages done, it's a breeze. We'll see, though. Hopefully I can meet my deadline.

Something kind of funny that happened today was that I did the sign of the cross while I was still asleep. lol. Yeah, I'm very serious. I have the habit of turning on the t.v. if I end up waking up between 4 and 7 a.m. just because it helps lull me back to sleep again so I get my full 8 hours. I had it on EWTN in Spanish (they took the English version of EWTN off the list -- darn you, Time Warner Cable!) and I actually ended up dreaming everything that was aired on t.v. I dreamt Pope Benedict XVI giving a speech and of the Daily Mass. I actually ended up doing the sign of the cross when they priest was saying "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit..." -- and I was so completely asleep. Hahaha. It wasn't until I woke up that I realized what I'd just done and I just kind of giggled because I've never known anyone else to do that. It was awesome! lol. So that's my little story. lol.

Okay, well this blog is going to be short today. I have to get up early tomorrow 'cause I have two doctors appointments at two different places. I haven't been feeling too well lately and I need to get those things taken care of. I'm going to pray that things will get better because I've been sick for quite a while now and I miss feeling like my old healthy self. So for now... thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Monday, January 14, 2008

Clean-a-thon: Part Deux, Music, Evening Mass and "Bella".

I seem to have passed on the clean-a-thon bug to a few people now... including my parents. Haha, I'm sorry!! I didn't know the whole concept of having "Spring Cleaning" in January would catch on! lol. I don't feel guilty about it either. Oh no. I've been on my parents case about throwing some things out and it took them years to do it but they finally did and I couldn't be happier. :D If you don't like cleaning and have caught the bug, I'm sorry (and I say that with my Canadian accent, too). On the bright side of all this, at least now people will have cleaner and more clutter-free homes. get rid of the material things you don't need, man (and woman). :D

For those who personally know me, it is absolutely no shock when I say I love music. In fact, saying it like that is an understatement. For as long as I can remember, my house has been filled with music. My mom listened to Elvis, The Beatles, Chuck Berry, The Beach Boys, and a lot of oldies. My dad's more into traditional music. My eldest brother introduced me to The Doors, Queen, and classic rock. I discovered classical music, the Spanish guitar and jazz on my own. Needless to say, I love all most genres because I've grown up listening to them. I grew up playing (or attempting to play) different instruments. I've been singing since I was little. I've been dancing for as long as I've been able to sit up on my own. I was taught by the best and a learn some things on my own. Despite of all of that, it has been taking a back seat to everything else lately. For the first time in months I sang... and I mean really sang. I hit notes I thought I no longer could. It was almost as though I'd never stopped... and I absolutely loved that feeling. Singing at the top of my lungs, listening to the music blaring... I definitely missed it. I haven't played my guitar since I started growing out my nails but I know if I pick it up again, it'll still feel like it's an extension of who I am. I hope I never go through an extended period where it has to, once again, take a back seat to anything. I hope that everyone has something like this in their life -- something that brings them pure utter joy no matter how low they may be feeling. Thanks to music, and my being able to sing once again, I feel like my old self... the person I was before I got sick... and before my father got sick as well. *happy sigh*

Another good experience I had today... going to evening mass. What made it awesome was the fact that the young Polish priest at my parish gave the mass in Spanish. I'd never heard him speak Spanish (although dad had) and was surprised how well he spoke it. Very fluent. I don't why I got a kick out of it but I did. What was funny was that during the mass I was thinking to myself "Maybe I'm supposed to be a nun" and then he started talking about praying for those who are in the church -- priests and nuns included. Then I though to myself "But I really want to have a family some day. Maybe I'll just stick to writing and try to leave my mark that way" when I heard him say that we should pray to those who weren't entering vocations within the church but wanted to promote it. I thought to myself "He's reading my mind!" lol. It was the funniest thing. He mentioned praying for the immigrants that are having a hard time, which is something I am involving myself in; not just prayers for them but writing about the flip side of that -- having to watch family and friends being discriminated against, even if they are legally here, by immigration officials.

Another thing he mentioned was the movie "Bella" which I still haven't seen (and won't until they DVD comes out because they're not playing it anywhere nearby anymore). Anyway, he was telling everyone that we should go see it because of the great pro-life message the film gives. I have heard it's a beautiful film so I hope I get it from Netflix when it comes out. I'm actually really excited to see the movie. Here's the trailer for those who haven't seen it yet:

And apparently the trailer doesn't do it justice. A lot of good has come out of this movie... including the main actor, Eduardo Verastegui, inspiring a couple not to through with a planned abortion... and then naming their child after him. You can read more about that story here.

I should probably call it a day on the blog because I am starting to get that sore throat that's been bugging me for a few days now. If it's a cold, it's taking a while to hit. I am still hoping it's allergies. *crosses fingers*

For now... thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Weather, Mass, JPII, GodTube, That Catholic Show and Dreams.

So, my cold -- or possible cold -- continues to rear it's ugly little head. Dad's also starting to get cold symptoms so if we both get a cold, it's because mom brought it home last week. lol. We're not blaming her, though. She works in a hospital so stuff like that is bound to happen. I'm still hoping it's just allergies, which would make sense because it's been unusually warm and windy lately (it was 70 degrees fahrenheit yesterday, a little warmer today). Even as I was sitting in church, during mass, I had to (discreetly) take a sip of water because it felt really warm. I should also mention I went to the noon mass (the second and last mass in English on Sundays) so of course it was at it's warmest. Last night was the first time in months I had to sleep without my blanket because it wasn't cold. Hopefully it won't be too cold tonight... which I doubt it will be because it's supposed to be 75 degrees tomorrow. *groan* This is why people get sick... because the weather keeps on changing without warning.

Even though I was really thirsty and warm in mass, I was very happy that I finally made it through an entire thing without either one of my parents getting sick, or me getting sick. I was so stoked that I was finally able to attend the English mass, too, because I usually go to the Spanish one with my parents. My parents also went with me, which was even better. It had been years since I'd gone to an English mass and I sure missed it. I'm most likely going to attend more of them, but I wouldn't be surprised if I went by myself because of the language thing (though my parents speak English, they're not fluent). One of the things I loved about the noon mass was how lovely the stained glass windows looked at my parish. I took a picture of the one that was facing west to share:
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There are different windows but I decided to share this one because I love how it looks in the noon time sunlight. :D Tomorrow we're going to another late evening mass so I'll be looking at the windows to see how they look.

I'm going to share the following video of the late Pope John Paul II (which is in Italian, sorry) because I just love(d) watching him speak.

What a sweet man. Even though he was the only Pope I'd known in my lifetime (prior to his passing, I mean), I feel that he has been one of the most beloved Popes. And, did you see him waving his hands in the air with all the youngsters? Cute! It'll be 3 years, this April, since his passing and he still really missed. It's a good thing that GodTube exists so I can always search for more videos of him, and other religious things.

Ah, yes... GodTube. It's basically youtube for religion. It's mainly Christian but more and more Catholics are making their presence known. I've known about this website for a while now but today has been the second time I've actually visited it. It's definitely interesting -- though I don't appreciate some of the anti-Catholicism videos I've come across. There are some really funny videos I watched last time. I wonder if they have That Catholic Show on the site.

That Catholic Show is AWESOME! It's done by the same husband and wife team that does the Rosary Army podcast (both That Catholic Show and Rosary Army can be found on iTunes or I think their videos are great, especially for those who don't know much about the Catholic faith. Here's just a sample of the type of videos they do:

To watch more, click on the link above or on the SQPN link on the righthand side under Favorite Websites.

I feel like this blog is getting too long so just a quick little story about yet another awesome, but scary, dream I had last night. So, last night I had a dream that there was something evil in the house -- which was almost pitch black for some reason. I had this white crystal cupped in my hands, which was almost blindingly white, and I went around the house with it touching different things to make the darkness go away. I finished in the living room (at the location where my PC is in real life) and I got on my knees and touched this thing (I forgot what it was) with the crystal and the next thing I knew, all the darkness had disappeared. I went to look outside, and I saw this little boy (who was about 7 years old and had this semi-long blonde hair) who was holding something white in his hands as well (I do remember it was an animal; possibly a dove) and he looked up at me and asked me where another little girl was. I told him I hadn't seen her. I knew he'd known what I'd just done (getting rid of the darkness in my house) and, still looking at me, said something along the lines of "I believe in you" but in Spanish. At that moment, I thought to myself "Oh my... that's the Child Jesus..." and he just smiled at me. I woke up shortly after that. No clue why I keep having these dreams about saints, and now the Child Jesus, but I am sure glad I did. It definitely beats having other types of dreams.

Okay, well, I still have to eat (it's almost 7:30 p.m.) and I haven't prayed the Rosary today (bad me!) so I am going to try to get those things done before I pass out from the icky, fatigued feeling.

Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Colds, Pope JPII: The Movie, and a Saint Dream.

There hasn't been a blog in a few days because I've been feeling really icky lately. I think I'm getting a cold... probably caught it from my mom when she had it last week. Bah! To be fair, I haven't had an actual cold in over 2 years (last one was in November 2005) but still, I don't want one! lol. I really hope my sore throat and fever-y feeling (I don't have a fever; I just feel warm) are allergy related and not a cold... or worse, the flu. *shudders* That is seriously the last thing I need right now. Please let it be allergies, or a mild cold... please it it be allergies... or a mild cold. lol. *crosses fingers and hopes for the best* I hope my health is in better shape than Liverpool's recent form. That game today was not worth my getting up at 6 in the morning to watch. Ugh. But, moving on...

I watched the "Pope John Paul II: the Movie" DVD a few nights ago... and it was awesome! It was definitely a movie that made me think about a lot of things I normally wouldn't, which is always great. It did make my mom and I cry (moreso me than her) because it's difficult to watch something that was based on JP2's real life and see everything he went through and suffered. Watching his friends being killed by Nazi invaders, seeing him get hurt and shot (even though they were re-enactments) was very difficult to watch. Despite it being emotionally charged, it's such a great movie. We gave it thumbs up all around. I've gained so much more respect for him than I had before (and it was a lot prior to the movie). I think I'm going to put it on my wish list for the next time I buy some DVDs. I also got a movie about the Nutcracker ballet (which has been on my list for months) so I'm going to try to watch it by Monday morning so I can send them both back to Netflix and get myself more movies.

Two nights ago I had a very cool dream about saints. I was standing up on a cathedral's dome looking down at saints walking around in a garden. And, yes, they were actually alive in my dream. The cathedral was big and white and so were the stairs one had to take to get up to where I was standing. As I was looking down, I noticed St. Dymphna and St. Jude walking around. I don't remember if I called their names or if they just looked up but they looked at me and I knew they were going to come up to talk to me. So, I went inside and waited for them and then I saw other saints walking in from different hallways and staircases. It was almost like a parade, there were so many. I remember St. Theresa of Avila was there but I don't remember talking to her or just knowing she was there. In fact, I don't remember talking to any of the saints. I know they acknowledged me and made it clear that they knew I was there. Since it's been a couple of days, details are starting to get fuzzy. Either way, it was such a lovely dream. This is the first time I've had a dream where I interacted with them. It's always been me seeing them as apparitions or in statues but never as living people. It was amazing! I won't even try to decipher what they mean... I'm just very happy to have had it. :D

Alright, I'm not feeling too hot... or I should say I'm feeling pretty warm and not too well, so I'm going to try to go lie down or eat something before I go to bed. I'll go watch "the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" in the meantime. :D

Thanks for reading and God Bless.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Books, Ignoring Joy Behar and Sketching Our Lady.

Someone take my credit card away, fast! lol. I have become addicted (okay, not completely but getting there) to browsing for books and buying them if they are something I want. Okay, fine, I've only bought 2 but still... I have a feeling I will buy more if given the chance. Ack! I have been on and quite a bit lately but it's mostly because I am selling my old textbooks that I no longer need. While I'm there, I look for books I want. I have exercised some serious self-control but, being a bibliophile, it's really hard for me not to get any more... especially when I'm going to have another 8-9 months off from school! Ack! lol. Thankfully, all books have been worth it (one was the autobiography of St. Theresa of Avila, the other was on Catholicism as a whole) so it's not like I am spending on mindless dribble. Still... someone needs to come over and pry the card out of my little hands. lol. I've also been looking at getting a Claddagh ring but that's a whole different story. lol.

So, I saw on the Global Roman Catholic facebook group (link is on the right side for those who wish to join in) a link to this quote that Joy Behar said on The View. This woman, who was raised Roman Catholic, said "Saints were psychotic and advances in modern medicine have essentially wiped them off the planet." Though it was meant to be a "joke" (oh yeah, I'm laughing here... not!), it was still uncalled for. This isn't the first time she's said something offensive about the church either. I understand the freedom of speech and all but is it really necessary to attack the Catholic church? I don't think so. All she did was tick people off. Whatever. I'm just going to ignore everything she says because she obviously doesn't know jack. It's people like her, saying comments like these, which made me become more moderate-conservative than I was (I used to consider myself a bit more liberal). I could get into this whole debate about this topic but I'm just going to ignore it and her from now on. Not worth my time anymore.

I woke up feeling very groggy and dizzy again today -- for no reason -- so I prayed the Rosary and asked St. Jude to give me a sign as to what I should do to at least get my mind off of how I was feeling (which was horrible!). At first I decided to clean the St. Jude statues we have, the one of Our Lady of Guadalupe, and a Crucifix. That was done pretty quickly so I decided to take out my sketching pad and I just started sketching Our Lady of Guadalupe. I sat at the edge of my bed, while I was watching re-runs of Degrassi TNG on The N, and I would look at two of the pictures of her in my room. It took me about an hour (I wanted to it get done as well as I could) but I finally got it done -- down to the littlest details. The one thing I am not very good at is sketching people, so I was surprised that it wasn't completely terrible. I still have a few more things to add (I'm trying to sketch something personal) but I'll, hopefully, upload and share it on this blog as soon as I'm done. I do my best work with actual paint so maybe I'll try it again another time. Still, the time it took me to draw her and also clean really helped me feel better so it was actually all good. Hopefully I will be able to continue it tomorrow, especially if I feel as bad as I did today. :D

Alright, well, I want to go see the "Pope John Paul II" DVD I got from Netflix a week ago. I should probably send it back soon as I can get through my extremely long list of films I want to watch. So, for now, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Trip Down Memory Lane and World Youth Day '08.

Today I received an e-mail (from the website photobucket) letting me know I still had pictures in an account I had forgotten about. It'd been a little over 2 years since the last time I'd been on the site so I decided to go look at what I had. Wow, there were a lot of pictures from 2002 - 2005 that I'd forgotten about. I did delete most of them but saved a few before deleting the entire account. The ones I did save were uploaded to my facebook account where, I know, a couple of my friends will get a kick out of seeing them. I've changed a lot in just the last year alone, so I can't wait to hear what memories my friends have about certain photographs. The thing that was most interesting was how much I've physically changed in 2 years. I still look younger than I am (and am often mistaken for a 16 to 18 year-old by those who meet me for the first time) but I have changed quite a bit. I seem to look younger, and slightly different ("But in a very good way" according to a friend, lol) than I do in photographs. Honestly, I don't really care how I look... I just like pictures because they're a snapshot that captures a particular moment. It's always fun going down memory lane and seeing how much you've grown (not just physically) as a person. The pictures made me very happy, which is always nice, and I hope some of my friends also get lovely memories from a couple of them.

And while I'm on the topic of looking slightly younger than I am... I'm starting to save up for, hopefully, a trip to World Youth Day in Australia this year. I wonder, though, if I may be slightly too old for it. Okay, so I took a moment to google the answer for that, and no, I am not too old for it. The official age range is apparently 16 - 35 years of age. That means I can squeeze in about 4 - 5 more WYD's before I hit 35... and that's assuming it's every 3 years. Although it doesn't look good (my possible trip this year) you can bet I will save up for the next one... whereever it's held. I really hope I do make it, though, because it's something I'd love to experience. Of course, I am going to see if any of my friends would be up to go with me because I don't want to go by myself. Although I do have experience being in a different country by myself, I always have back-up nearby if needed. I don't know anyone in Australia, or New Zealand, so no nearby back-up. If my bro wasn't married with kids, he would've gone with me. Hmmm... I've got some thinking to do about this thing. Luckily, since I'm on the West Coast of the U.S., it won't be terribly expensive (or at least I hope it isn't) for me to fly out there. No, I still haven't looked at the prices but when I planned my trip to New Zealand a year ago, it wasn't that bad. Okay, I just checked it out... it's $1727 USD for a round trip from Sydney to LAX. If I register for WYD at the official site and get one of their pilgrim packages, I don't have to pay too much for food, health cover, transportation, etc. Not only do I have some major saving up to do (medical bills last year took out a huge chunk of my savings), they flight to Sydney is 15 hours; the flight from Sydney is 17 hours! Blimey! Well, I will try and if not, I will just watch it was much as I can on EWTN (assuming they'll broadcast some of it).

Hmm... I've got some number crunching and planning to do so I'll end the blog for today.

Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Monday, January 7, 2008

Big Brother, Post Office Mayhem, and Semester Abroad.

Today was a very happy day because my big brother came to pay a surprise visit. It was funny; just as my dad was leaving and walking out the door, my bro just popped up and said hi. Heehee. He also came bearing gifts from his holiday vacation in Mexico. He spent a few weeks visiting family out there. It's always nice to hear how everyone's doing 'cause I haven't been out there since I was about 12 years old. He says that, unfortunately, it's getting worse in terms of crime and police violence. It's so sad to hear that because (where my dad's from) it's such a quaint little town with the most beautiful church and town square. Sounds like we should avoid visiting, though, because it's not safe. Hopefully things will get better when/if I decide to go visit my dad's side of the family. It's incredibly sad that we don't just hear about what's going from family; we hear it on the news all the time. :( Let's just hope the little town doesn't super crowded with people (at least, not bad people) like a certain post office I know.

I don't know what's going on with the post office. Last October, I had an invite (from the U.K.) to an event but it arrived a month after the event. I should probably mention that it was sent in advance, too. One of my best friends, who's also in the U.K., sent me a Christmas card and it's been 3 weeks and I haven't gotten anything. That's not all. Last month (and the month before) we didn't get our mail delivered for weeks and I'd have to call and complain. I hate being a hassle but I had important things like bills that needed to be paid. The person in charge of mail distribution got to know me very well from all the calling I did. lol. They were never mad at me for doing it, which is good. If you want to go to the post office near my home it's better to do it mid-morning when there's no people because it gets PACKED very early and in the afternoon. I had to send some packages today and the line was to the door and then it looped around a bit. It was insane. It didn't help that it was freezing outside. Luckily I was dressed warm enough not to stand there shaking but, oy! It's always a nightmare going there because of the long lines. I have to go back tomorrow (oh yes, more packages to send) and I am not exactly looking forward to it. Hopefully I can go earlier... and this time I won't wear my stiletto boots. I only had them on for about 30 minutes but my feet aren't too happy with me. lol. I'm not used to heels (haven't worn any since New Year 2007) but those boots are so warm... I made the sacrifice. lol.

Another sacrifice I will be making in a couple of months... leaving my beloved Queen sized bed for a semester abroad. Oh, dear comfy bed, I shall miss you. lol. It's going to be completely worth it, though. I am mostly likely going to head out to Europe (I still have to choose a school and let them know a.s.a.p.) It looks like I'm mostly likely going to head out to Rome because of my major (Religious Studies with an emphasis on Catholicism). I am going to have to brush up on my Italian -- and learn some self defense, lol -- but being that close to the Vatican is going to be worth it. I was actually planning on going out there once I graduated but now I have the perfect opportunity/excuse to go beforehand so... Score! lol. I also want to take a trip up to Assisi while I'm out there. I'm now a little too excited now. lol. I think I'm going to go do a happy dance so I'm going to end this blog now.

Hope everyone's keeping warm. Thanks for reading and God Bless.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

More Rain, Football, Rosaries and Jamie Oliver.

Well, it's been raining since about 11 a.m. which means I missed mass. :( Normally, rain or no rain I would've gone. Unfortunately the car's brakes aren't working properly and we didn't want to risk an accident. Hmph. :-/ I really wanted to go but safety is important. I'll just go to confessions next week and see how much penance I get for missing mass... and for cursing.

The only time I let a couple (and by a couple I mean two) of curse words out is when I am watching football (also known as soccer in the U.S. and Canada). I can usually catch myself before I actually say them but sometimes I'll be so into the game, they'll slip up. And not in English or Spanish. Oh no. French is the language I use most when cursing during games. An Italian word might slip out but very rarely does that happen. Although the word isn't that bad, I still don't like saying it. I've gotten really good at thinking about what I'm going to say before I say it... except during football matches. Haha. I'm sorry, I just really get into the game. :D I think that's why people are always so amused when they watch a game with me. I tend to use sort of old fashioned words such as "golly" and "gee" so I think people are surprised the first time they hear me say the rude version of the word "poo" in French. If my beloved Liverpool FC hadn't played the way they did -- and if the manager hadn't made the line-up he did -- it wouldn't have happened. Hopefully the next game we play won't be as pitiful as today's game. I don't know where the mighty Reds went wrong. They started off the season (and pre-season) brilliantly but they've slipped quite a bit recently. Either way, I will support them because that's what a fan does -- supports them through the good and bad spells.

Moving away from one thing I love (football) to the next... I've already let my parents know that if they want to give me anything for my birthday, I want an emerald rosary. I recently bought one that had green beads with St. Jude on it but every time I tried to use it, different parts would break apart. Basically, the rosary's very fragile. I have to use the one my baptism Godmother gave me when I was a few months old because I don't have another one -- well, one that's not locked away, safe from harm. I hope I get another one soon, though, because I don't want to use the baptism rosary that much. I want to save and treasure it. Either way, I've let my parents know what I really want (because, despite my protests, they always give me something). Am I weird for always looking at different rosaries and wanting to collect different kinds? If I am, eh, don't care. lol. Seriously, though, I love rosaries and I don't feel comfortable not saying it at least once a day. :D I always feel very calm and relaxed afterwards; it's a lovely feeling. :D

Another lovely feeling? Watching Jamie Oliver cooking shows. Don't ask me why but I LOVE watching his shows. Everything from Naked Chef to Jamie's Great Italian Escape -- loved it. I've even gotten up early to watch Naked Chef on BBC America. Anyway, there's a new show of his "Jamie at Home" that's starting on the Food Network tonight. Score! And the show is going to be about organic foods -- which is what I try to mainly eat. I'm excited. Maybe I'll get some recipes to try new stuff because I need a variety. I get bored eating the same thing over and over again (and will end up hating it for a while if I eat it for months) so it's always good to learn new stuff. :D The show's actually starting in about 3-4 minutes so it's time for me to wrap up this entry.

Let's hope it doesn't rain tomorrow because I have a long list of errands to run.

Anyhoo, thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Friday, January 4, 2008

Rain, More Goofy Ballet and St. Teresa of Avila.

*singing* It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring... Haha. Well, we officially have the first rain of the year... and maybe of the winter season. It's supposed to rain the entire weekend and into Monday morning, which I'm not too happy about. The storm's pretty big because the entire West Coast of the U.S. (and parts of Canada -- including Vancouver) are getting rain and/or snow. Just look at this (courtesy of

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Hopefully it won't be raining too badly on Sunday because I want to go to mass, darn it! lol. It's the first Sunday of the year and it would suck if I missed mass because of the potential flooding in the streets. Bah humbug! lol.

Since the rain has made my house colder than it usually is (we don't turn on the heater), I've had to resort to drinking a lot of tea and doing more goofy ballet to keep warm. And, okay, I'm also dancing like a dork because I am slightly bored and I need something to amuse me. If you know me personally, you know that I am shameless when it comes to dancing around like a spaz. Haha. I absolutely love it. I don't know why my parents keep laughing, they've had two decades to get used to my silliness. :D

Moving away from silly to being a little more serious (which is somewhat rare when I'm in a "wheeeee!!" state of mind)... I think I have finally found my kindred saint:

St. Teresa of Avila.
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A few weeks (possibly months) ago, I had a dream about her, which was very cool because I'd never heard of her before then. I must've seen her picture somewhere before but I didn't know her by name. I kept saying her name over and over in my head until I full woke up. I googled her name and found out a little more about her. She's one of 3 women saints (along with St. Catherine of Siena and St. Therese of Lisieux) that are considered Doctors of the Church. Since I was sick when I dreamt about her, I thought maybe I was should pray to her for help. I was already praying to St. Jude so I decided not to be greedy and keep up St. Jude's novena only. I don't know; I feel guilty asking more than one saint to pray for me. Lately (the past week or so) I've had such an intense feeling that I have to learn more about her that I went ahead and looked up a little more information about her. From what I learned, I've come to realize that she is my kindred. Although our lives are/were obviously very different, her personality, her way of thinking and some of her experiences mirror mine. She was a writer, of Spanish descent (was actually born in Spain), became fascinated with the lives of saints, became ill at a very young age (she was 19 when she started getting seriously ill; I started getting sick at 21) and we both share the fainting ailment (I, on an almost daily basis, feel like I'm going to pass out at any given moment). The list just keeps on going, too. What pretty much sealed the deal was when I read about what she did when she understood about sin and about how vanity and her friendship with certain types of women were changed when she saw what they were doing to her. After I read that I just said "Oh my goodness... I must buy her autobiography!" So, that's what I'm actually doing right now -- I type a bit in this blog and then I search on books about her. I am giving a lot (if not all) of the credit to a priest at my church for suggesting that I look into the lives of the saints I've dreamt about (and there have been many). Hopefully I'll be able to learn more and become a better person because of it. That's what I want to do; learn as much as I can, share what I find with others and live as honestly and well (but not in a material sense) as I can.

Alright, well, I am trying to keep my entries short so I think I'll just stop here. I still want to order a laminated St. Dymphna prayer card (which I don't have and can't find anywhere in my hometown) and, of course, St. Teresa's autobiography, so I'm off to do that. If anyone's getting hit with the crazy weather -- stay safe and keep warm. :D

Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Babies, Health, Patron Saints and Prayer.

Not much happened yesterday (don't get me started on Liverpool's horrible game) -- plus I was really sleepy -- so that is why no blog was written. Today, though, blog-central... and I added a widget on the side panel that lets whoever reads my blog see what I'm currently listening to. It updates every couple of minutes, too. :D I'm a little too into music so I thought it would be appropriate to add that little application to my blog. And if you ever see an artist or group that makes you think "Wow, does she really listen to THAT?" just remember that we all have our guilty pleasures... only I am not too ashamed of mine. lol.

Apparently I'm the last person to find out that Kakà's gonna be a daddy. Awwww. Congrats to him and his wife. I have a lot of respect for him as both a person and a player -- which is why I'm happy when he scores, even when it's against my teams -- so I'm very happy for him. Footballers have been getting a lot of visits from señor stork because Lukas Podolski (Bayern Munich), Harry Kewell (Liverpool), Xabi Alonso (Liverpool) and countless other footballers are expecting with their girlfriends/wives. And while on the topic of footballer babies, darn it, Dirk Kuyt (Liverpool), I want to see what little Roan looks like! lol. Bring on the babies! I love babies! Last time we went to Disneyland, I would play with the little kids while we waited in line... and I wouldn't even notice it until a friend of mine pointed it out. lol. Don't ask me why I seem to attract the little cuties but I adore them so I don't mind. All of this doesn't mean I want any kids in the near future (no!!) but maybe someday when I'm done with school, have a steady job and am married, we'll see. :D

I just got home from a general physical check up with a new doctor (I changed doctors) and she says I'm perfectly healthy. My heart is healthy (they did 2 EKGs in a few months and an echocardiogram after Thanksgiving). I don't have anemia, diabetes or cholesterol. My blood count is good. My liver is good. I'm at a healthy weight for my height (at 124 lbs for a 5'7" female). Etc. Basically, on paper, I'm as healthy as you can get. The pains I sometimes experience, as well as the fatigue and dizziness, are all signs that the stress really got to me this past year ('07). So, there you go. Next time I get the pains, it's just my body going "I'm still stressed... go exercise or distract yourself!" I was given a nutritionist because I might not be getting enough calories per day because food allergies I have limit what I can eat. I'm getting blood drawn just to double check everything but it looks like I'm on the road to getting healthy. *knocks on wood* So... now that I don't have to worry about that... *happy dance* I already did my "infamous" goofy ballet dance. lol. Once I start acting like a dork, you know I'm getting better. :D

I've been trying to write an entry to explain why my patron saints are my patron saints. I decided to it today so I'll quit putting it off. :D Let's start off with St. Jude Thaddeus. My mom's been a St. Jude devotee since I was little so that is why I grew up asking him to pray for me. He has never, ever let me down. I feel so bad asking saints to pray for me but I can't help it when I'm feeling absolutely helpless. It makes sense that St. Jude is my chosen patron saint because he is the patron saint of difficult and hopeless cases and I only seem to ask saints for prayers when I'm in those situations. That is also why I carry his medal with me wherever I go. I'm lucky enough to attend a parish that has a huge St. Jude statue so I can go leave him candles or flowers when he helps me during my difficult situations. Actually, the picture on the right side under "Patron Saints" is of the statue at my church that I took a few weeks ago. :)

Now, Our Lady of Guadalupe has been a part of my life since I was born. I was born in the city and country (Los Angeles; United States) she is patron of. I was baptised at a church that's named after her. I have Mexican heritage and she is the patron of Mexicans and Americans. A few weeks ago, I had a dream that I was talking to a priest about the books I'm writing and she appeared smiling to me for a brief moment. That was just a dream, too. I have a lot more personal experiences, that were not dreams, which involve her but I'm going to keep those to myself. Let's just say that she's always looked out for me. She's my dad's main patron saint as well. I always feel very calm when I go into his room and see her statue. :)

St. Dymphna came to me at a time when I really needed her. I've been a nervous person since after high school (and you can thank/blam certain classmates and a history teacher for that) but I've always been able to get over it pretty quickly. Example: I was terrified of going on those crazy rides at Six Flags Magic Mountain but I went on them anyway to get over my fears. At the end of the rides I was yelling "That was wicked! Let's go again!!" I've been nervous performing (as well as giving speeches) in front of people but once I step on stage, I'm okay. This past year, though, I was feeling so sick and I didn't know what was going on so I felt like I was going to go koo-koo bananas. I found out who the patron saint of anxiety was and that's how I discovered St. Dymphna. At the sort of peak of my anxiety (right when my dad's health insurance was once again threatening to cut off his chemo and I had to get on the phone and battle it out with them) I asked her to pray that I didn't get massive panic attacks and that I didn't feel like I couldn't breathe. As soon as I prayed to her, I felt so calm and relieved (this was at around 3 - 4 in the morning when it happened to) that I immediately fell asleep and I haven't felt overly anxious since.

That is why St. Jude, Our Lady of Guadalupe and St. Dymphna are my patron saints. Whoever says prayers, especially those to saints, don't work... pffft. I'm living proof that they do and very well. Every time I pray, even if it's just the Rosary, I feel so serene and lovely. The lesson here: Pray! Even if it's directly to God, just pray. It makes a world of difference, whether it's immediate or whether it takes a little time. And, with that, I am done with my blog.

I think I'll go listen to Ella Fitzgerald's version of "Sunny" and feel like a 1970s flower child with bellbottoms and hippie hair. lol.

Thanks for reading and God Bless. :D

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year!

It took me a couple of days to post another blog but here I am... and right on time for the New Year! Happy New Year everyone! Hopefully everyone had fun partying or whatever it was that you crazy kids did. :D I just stayed home, in my pajamas, and watched T.V. and got in touch with my Spanish heritage by keeping the grape-eating tradition at midnight. Oh yeah... I am a party animal! lol. You bet I made those wishes on most of those grapes, too. lol. It was fine, though, because I finished my clean-a-thon a mere hour before midnight and all I wanted was to sit down and relax.

I was able to do my clean-a-thon in a day (well, couple of hours), like I wanted but I was entirely too stressed during it. I woke up late from a nap so I was rushed and it was not pleasant. lol. Unfortunately, I didn't get help when I needed it. My mom did me a huge favor by shredding the schoolwork that piled up so I am extremely grateful she did that for me. When I needed help from dad to move my EXTREMELY HEAVY wooden desk, I didn't get it until the very end when I was done. I wasn't supposed to do any heavy lifting but, pfft, no one helped me and I don't like wasting my time. I carried the computer (I have a desktop PC) to and from the desk, carried the shelves and drawers I could take out to make it less heavy, moved (one side at a time) my desk and everything. End product is great though. It's so clean and neat and now I have a place to comfortably put my guitar on the side so I have easier access to it. One of the things that I did not like... the pain I am feeling today. My arms don't feel too bad but my back and my legs... aysh. I couldn't walk for most of the day so I mainly stayed in bed (which was not fun). When I did walk all you could hear was me going "ow... ow... ow." lol. I know I'm not supposed to laugh (and that I should not be happy that all my dad did was laugh at me when I was moving all the heavy stuff by myself), but I find it funny that I kept going "ow... ow... ow." lol. I'm a weird one, I know. :D That just goes to show that when I want things done, I'll get them done even if I will be in pain afterwards. Hooray for being Miss Independent. And, no, that wasn't meant to be sarcastic; just letting my inner feminist come out to celebrate for a bit. :D

I got some awesome news yesterday -- my echocardigram came back normal and it looks like my heart's structure is great too. Whoo! I almost passed out in the waiting room but that was a mixture of lack of sleep and food... and mostly stress according to the doc. Eh. The most important thing is that my heart is healthy and all I have to do is make sure I get some rest and eat plenty (and not stress out) and I will be okay. :D And now... for a happy jitter bug dance. *does jitter bug* lol.

Since today was New Year's Day, and a day of obligation, I really wanted to go to mass but I could barely walk so I had to settle for watching part of it on EWTN. I have to admit, I am bummed out I didn't make it. I do look forward to this weekend, though, because I want to see if that young Polish priest will be giving the mass. He's one of my favorites. He's really nice and you feel really comfortable talking to him during confessions. It's also been a while since I've been to an English mass, usually go to the Spanish one with my parents, so I'm excited. Yes, I actually get excited about going to mass. :D

And, keeping with the New Year's theme... apparently EVERYONE (and I do mean everyone) wants me to relax this year so I will make that my resolution. I wasn't planning on having any this year but I started thinking about it after one of my good friends brought it up. I decided to have three. My resolutions this year are: 1) Relax and not worry about every little detail (blame my Type-A personality for that, lol). 2) Get out of the house as much as possible... and do things for myself more often. And 3) Finish at least one of the novels I'm working on before my next birthday. Hopefully I can accomplish them. Oh, I should probably add "stop procrastinating" to that list but I've gotten better at it so we'll see how I do this year. :D

Okay, well, that's all for today. I still haven't said the Rosary today and I've got about 18 minutes before the day ends so I better get to it. Thanks for reading, God Bless and may you have a happy New Year. :D